Sunday, August 21, 2005

Hi Virdi, I'm Sayesha. Big fan.

Today I wanna write about Virdi. Yes, our very own friendly neighbourhood Virdi.

I don't know him. Have never met him. And yet, the way we banter on my blog, one would think we were friends from preschool! There is this air of familiarity around him that makes everyone who passes by my blog feel that they know him so well that they're entitled to take a shot at him. And everyone does!

On 12th May 2005, Virdi came to my blog from Weird Hair Anil's. (And no, I dunno Weird Hair Anil either!) Virdi saw a picture of my hand on my blog, plucked it out and posted it on his blog. And he spotted another picture and posted it yet again here! And that's how the legend of the hand-stalker came about. Everyone wanted to know "the crazy guy who is crazy about Sayesha's hand". Including me (of course I was damn curious! What did you think?). And that's how I came across his blog.

As I read his posts, I realised that his mind thought faster that his fingers typed the words, often leaving his readers baffled. So I left a comment on his blog,
"Post karne se pehle proofread kar le yaar!". He could have said "£$@% you, it's my blog!" (or rather "duck you!" in typical Virdi ishtyle), But he actually started proofreading! Wow!

We became regular visitors on each other's blog. Formal turned to friendly turned to abusive. He spared no one -- his friends, my friends, strangers, anonymouses, no one. He has called me a fool, a donkey, a lesbian, an idiot, 'abey', 'saaley' and what not. That too, on MY blog.

And yet, he was the first one to give me a 'jadu ki jhappi' over blogsphere when I was depressed.

Today, he is such an important part of my blog that often people go, "Forget what Sayesha wrote on her blog. Forget what Virdi wrote on his blog. Let's check out what Virdi commented on Sayesha's blog!" I get revisits from people who want to see what new issue Virdi, WH Anil, Sahil and I are squabbling over next.

His obsession to be 12 all over again... the way he comes back in spite of the heavy duty sabo that he goes through on my blog when everyone jumps into the bandwagon... the utter nonsense he spouts at times... the way he asks really personal questions (and gets away with it!)... his expertise at abusing relatives of mean anonymous commentors... the way he slaps, punches and kicks himself on my behalf after making an indecent comment... the way he completely changes the focus of a 1000-word blog post with one simple one-liner... the way he pisses me off and then quickly apologises...

I swear man, he's pissed me off real bad many times, but how on earth can one stay angry with such a guy? I can't. And though I know in the future, he will be pissing me off again, but I know we'll be back soon, squabbling away like before.

Here are some classic Virdisms we should all relive. (Long list alert!)

I can't get over how much sense there is in some of his nonsense.

// u can delete the galis wala comment... sorry again..

//hey, that frog could have been some prince. Did you try kissing it?? Uff... U missed the chance to marry the Prince of Bhatinda.

//hey sayesha... i am totally fida over your hand.. no i am serious... yeh haaath mujhe de de sayesha... now u can find this photo on my blog too.. i cant stop myself. and by the way what do you mean by ANGILIMAAL VIRDI??? teri toh... dekh loonga tere ko... u dont know my gussa... jab virdi ko gussa aata hai toh fir jwala mukhi fatta hai.. (taken directly from chacha chaudhary comics) your hand is now on my blog..

//and main us Sinnerman ke baache ko bhi dekh loonga.. but first "hi sinnerman, thanks for the hand ka photo.. "

//abe i am pakka male... anil shut the duck up... stop giggling... u ass.. shut up.. and yes sayesha just shut ur gob... sahil u idiot i am male... kar diya mera popat?? happy?? big fat fool..

//i am not J about her hand Sahil... i am J about her khushiyan.. she is having fun with kids and goes to Cambodia for masti marofy trip and me sado in some stupid office.. thats why J.. me to full fida over Sayesha's hand.. and if possible i could marry her hand.. not full sayesha.. she might say sardar (a.k.a sar-dard) get lost.. ;-) anyways i like her hand lots doesnt mean i hate her.. just that someone might kill me...

//hey sayesha
may be your dad would say... JAO BETA LE JAO ISKA HAATH... Tum se ziada iske haath ko koi nahi chahta hai.. jao beta le jao.. (like in DDLJ Bauji says to Kajol : Ja beta ja is se ziada tujhe koi pyar nahi kar sakta) and then i will do the Gabbar Singh trick.. ek jhatke mein i will..... he he he he... wicked me.. and rama was Hindu or Buddhist i dont know but he was not Buddhu as Viv (not richards) said.. he was god?? hey come on he is just a character of a novel... if he is god then Harry Potter is the... whatever.. and i am a Dutchman... well its belief.. we shoudl not start a differct topic here.. sayesha i am in love with your hand... main aab kya karoon?? :-?

//hey sayesha... u said "you rock my word" small story. there was some election rally in Madras and one mf my friends, saw a poster of Jayalalita lying on the ground and brought it to his hostel room and pasted it on his door. Written under it was "SHE ROCKS MY WORLD" hehehe... now thats funny...
nothing about ur blog... just yaad a gaya tha that incident..

//Everyone has a problem if u are not married. No one ever asked. "Beta why are you getting married??"

//what you can do is, put some "Spicy Masala" and some "Mirchi Powder" on your ankels. And let the dog lick your ankels once. I believe that would be the last time the doggie would come near you. ;-) I am so smart.. trumpet..

//i want to be 12 years again... i want to i want to i want to !!! school was fun... i even slapped "anil-weird hair" once and he fell on my feet saying mujhe maaf kar do... he ha ha he ha ha.. mogambo ka bhateeja gogo khush hua...

//what is happening here??? mere peeth peeche???

//That was an editor speaking !!! That was an editor speaking !!! That was an editor speaking !!!
PS : did the proof-reading. :-)

//nahi you are not doing publicity... and some people like your hands so much what to do madam?? next post should be only hands and then i will explain all the minute details about my love, errrr, i mean your hands... how awesome they are...

//Sayesha, one big "Jadoo Ki Jhappi" to you... and yes sometimes, how ever strong men show they are, we really want a big hug from our dear ones...

// sayesha you could have taken this "flower photo" with the hand also being shown. why did you do this to me?? why why why?? one more hand photo please. iis marte hua insaan mein thodi si jaan phoonk do madam, allah tumhara bhala karega!!! wanted a photo with flower in your hand.

//anil and my praise?? hmmmph kabhi nahi...
Pan Pasand, gazab ka swad gale ki mithas...
anil and my praise?? no never kabhi nahi...
(this looks so gay gay types... yuks.. i wrote it now bored to delete it!!)

//sahil you idiot... dont say anything to sayesha's hands... who cares about sayesha... yes i love sayesha's hands... made the point keli-ear???
sayesha how are your hands??? dont type too much they might get spoilt... download a voice to text software... please do it for my love... (kya bakwas kar raha hoon)

//coming soon... coming soon... bolti rehti hai, when are you going to put the hands photos? saturday you said, right?? and still no hands ka foto. :-(

//girls are so dumb.. hehehehe...
she asked you not to take out your hand?? was she surdarni?? ho sakta hai she was... anyways girls are so dumb!!!
hehehehe.. trying to act like MCP..

//yes yes the guy and the girl pray together in a room with their bodies very close to each other and then lightening and rain and then baby. You need to pray da. and someone might shout "oh god!! oh god!!". then baby.. shit i am a pervert!! i need a kick..

//Everyone. She also stole money from her dad's and mom's wallets. She told me this thru secret mail.
Oh no humne tumhe kya samjha aur tum kya nikleee. nahiiiiiii.

//sayesha u could have taken this photo by holding the FAT CHICK in your hand. who cares about the fat chick, all i care about is the hand. when is the sexy hand photo coming?? this century?? atleast one glimse could have come with the fat chick... :-(
stupidest post i should say.. no i am serious.. this post was stupid.. ok its a fat chick... so what?? can i eat it?? can i roast it and have party??
PS: everyone loved the fat chick post and i thought lets be different.. so i said the post sucks.. ;-)

//when do you blog?? in your dreams?? ok u can... you live in singapore... its a developed country.... u never know what can happen in dreams there ;)

//sayesha>> abe oye dont get senti. teri grand amma ko kuch nahi hoga. and dont worry she is fiter than you. and will liuve for 236 years. but stop putting senti posts. ok the fat chick post was good. happy?? wont say anything to your posts. Promise.
mere ko bhi meri boodhi amma ki yaad aagayi. now i am senti, all becuase of you. woh tara ban chuki hai, last year. boo hoo hoo... mataajiiiiii...

//i did this once in rediff chat room.. Put my name "hot-girl-in-the-room" and logged in.. you wont believe i got some 40 msgs in some 5 seconds..

//oye sahil>> thanks for reminding me... sayesha>> where is the hand post?? oye sahil>> i am not J.. i just love her hand and its beatiful.. sayesha>> yes it was mean of you not posting the hands blog...

//sayesha>> firstly, STOP PUTTING SENTI POSTS. u fool I am away from India and you have to do is put all the senti posts now :( and pehle u used to put "u cooking me eating posts" now what happened to those?? ek sher pesh karta hoon.. ijaazat hai?? ijaazat gayi bhaaad mein... sher hazir hai..
giriya nikaale hai teree bazm se mujh ko
haay ! ki roone pe iKHtiyaar naheeN hai
[ giriya = weeping, iKHtiyaar = control ]
I cant stop weeping if u keep on posting such senti posts.. mera nahi Ghalib ka Sher hai..

//sahil.. u r dead man.. gabar singh aa raha hon main..

//ok ok now dont cry.. yeh lo beta jalebi.. happy?? :)

//be aaj ki bharatiya+singaporeian naari.. dont cry baby.. if u are feeling sad.. then here somes the JAADOO KI JHAPPI.. :) smile yaar..

Sayesha>> main toh bahut aacha insaan hoon and bahut greedy bhi... well if u find me so nice then please cook for me someday... main tere ko aashirwad doonga... beta khush raho, aabaad raho, singapore mein raho, ya hydrabad mein raho...

//Sayesha darling>> cheer up or u want a slap from me?? 2 days no post?? are you ok?? or u are in love?? or u are sick?? or u broke ur nail?? now post a post soon...

//Guy and the female kind.. i dont think sayesha is telling the truth.. I hope the next post is not >>> "CHECK OUT HOW I MADE FOOL OF 30 GUYS- Please read the comments of the earlier Blog" I dont know whats cooking in her head. Baba Bulle Shah couldnt understand girls... Toh hum toh cheez hi kya hain ji??
sayesha dekh tu jo bhi bol itni jaldi hum tere jal mein fasne wale nahi hai..

//ok will get a hot sa- sexy sa- stud looking sa- London ka Afro banda?? ok?? then u both can do.. huka ka buka huka huka... shark pit hu ha.. shark pit hua ha.. (i like animation movies)

//sayesha... bulla ki jaana main kaun... no one mentioned this song?? saalon maine 2 posts waste kar diya on this song and no one mentions this song..

//ok u have muscles... arnold sayesha-rzenegger... people see step six, full nerves and all seen..

// i made some 40 spelling mistakes.. so deleted the earlier blog..

//not blog.. i mean the comment..

//hahahaha... yeh sala anomymous ki maa ki toh.... who the duck is this guy???

//sorry pretty hand.. she makes you work too hard na?? such a loooooooooong post??

//sayesha... aisa mat kar yaar.. aapne haanth se itna hardwork mat kara... comment ke aandar mein ek blog?? kya ho raha hai madam?? u ok?? and i will talk to only your hand.. i dont care about you!!! thrrrbbrttttt :-P

//sale aankh dikhati hai?? darati hai dhamkati hai?? well pehle haanth, fir arms, then muscles and now eyes?? oye chakkr kya hai?? i think she is flirting with me... guys you all can see... ;-)
cong-u-ratu-le-son on being the cover girl when can we see the centre spread?? sala kya ganda dimag hai mera.. i deserve a kick...
Sayesha>> dhisum..
virdi>> thanks..

//sorry sayesha... thoda ziada bol diya... sorry... anyways was thinking as anil says shall i start collecting body parts??? hmmm thanks anil... will give it a shot... will start from sayesha's hands... he ha ha he ha ha... aa raha hoon main...

// sayesha>> tum mera sar tod dogi?? :-( bus yehi dosti reh gayi hai?? :-(

//what?? me and coconut tree?? yes please do that and i will throw coconut on everyones head... he ha ha he ha ha... mogambo khush hua...
and where is the beach?? what place is it?? well i was planning of going to Lahore with one friend of mine... Lahore is really cool... according to one old aunt of mine... :-)

//sayesha this is in reply to the earlier blog... u donkey what do u think i am a kid?? i will climb trees?? hmmph!!! dekh loonga tere ko... dekh loonga... tu mere ko janti nahi hai aabhi, mera uupar tak connection hai.. parliament mein aawaz uthegi... sarkar gira doonga... tu mere ko janti nahi hai.. main koi baacha nahi hoon..

// and dont u dare say anything about sayesha's hands or else... ur time is over mate!!!

//tu soti woti nahi hai kya?? hey whom did u meet?? tell tell... ;-) ahem ahem whats cooking?? sayesha, kuch kuch hota hai tum nahi samjhoge virdi.. dont say this..
virdi beta tere ko bahut jaldi sayesha se pitai milne wali hai.. sayesha, my best friend is from the internet!!!

//well it doesnt matter.. i think internet is like a new religion.. its like, if i dont pray in front of Bhagwanji i dont feel nice... if i dont check my mail and browse the internet i feel something is incomplete today!!
and its a platform to meet nice guys... ooops, sorry i mean nice girls!!! that includes you also, because of your hands, nothing else... ok u write well... nothing else...
PS: i am dead man, priya is going to kill me..

// oh main ek baat toh poochna bhool hi gaya.. seriously?? kuch kuch hota hai??
hai oye kuriyee.. congrats.. wah wah wah.. munna bhai ne bola ki life mein settle ho jane ko mangta hai, aapun bhi yehi bola aur sayesha ne bhi yehi bola wah wah wah.. congrats..
tu toh life mein settle ho gayi.. suno suno suno saab log.. she is in loove... hehehehe...
PS: pitega sala

//hahahaha.. the anonymous guy is here again... hahahaha... uski maa ki toh main... he has started putting comments on my blog also..

//and sayesha i am not 12... you are 10... hmmmmph!!!

//abe kaun hai woh mystery person??? agar maa ka doodh piya hai toh woh saamne aaye.. oye mystery person saamne aa ja.. aaja yaar, why giving us sleepless nights?? :-( sayesha you are in love?? whats the problem?? agar hai toh bol na... or you dont know?? ok ok.. no more questions.. sorry sayesha this comments page has become like my blog... hehehehe.. over and out.. alpha to charlie..

//hehehehe.. kids are cool but not electrons which never rest.. hey kids "The Miss" now has a crush on someone and is not willing to tell anyone.. ;-)
PS: mera time kharab jaa raha hai.. mere ko bahut jaldi hi padne wali hai.. hehehe..

//anil, shut the duck up... tum nahi samjhoge anil, kuch kuch hota hai... ok tell me isn't that hand pretty?? ok sinnerman is going good luck to him and all that but isnt that hand pretty?? just see the nails, they r just of the right size and shape and the................ i can go on and on and on.. its a pretty hand.. :-)

When I read his blog or his comments on my blog, it reaffirms all the things I believe in -- that there are people like him still around, that the innocence of the human soul is not passé, that simplicity of thoughts is still in, and that speaking your heart out is never wrong. And that there are so many people in our lives who give us reasons to smile every day. And sometimes, they are the reasons themselves.

I may never meet Virdi in my life. He may find greener blogs and move on, and never drop by mine again. But I will always feel fortunate to have known whatever bit I knew of him, and to have had the chance to interact with him.

This post is in celebration of people like Virdi.

I can't speak for others. But I am a fan.

ps: Permission had been sought from the subject over email before this post was written.


abhinav said...

Oh man.Virdi tu to saab ban gaya.i can already see him doing highly intense bhangra after reading this post.

Divya said...

it reminded me of the way i used to quibble with a friend of mine..and honestly, can guys really be crazy about hands? i need to get a manicure, ASAP..

good are just so sincere...your words reflect the way you are as a person...

patiala pataka said...

Bechara Virdi, abhi se lifetime achievement award bhi mil gaya. Ab 20 seconds mein acceptance speech dede...

virdi said...

bhaiyon aur unki behenon... aab main kya boolun?? mera toh dil hi kuch aaisa hai...
well i would like to thank my parents, my friends, my neighbour's cow, her little doggie, and the neighbour's neighbour's cable connection without which i would have never been able to see the pretty hand and also Sayesha without her i would not have got the habit of doing proof reading..
sayesha dont worry tere se ek baar toh zaroor milonga... arre aakhir mere ko tere haanthon se jo milna hai... hai oye such pretty hands..

Sayesha said...

Hahahaha! Funny mental image that! Virdi doing intense bhangra in front of his comp! :D

Thanks, Divya :)
And yes, some of the men can go nutz over hands (as I have come to realise)!

Pat Pat,
Yaar kyun tension dete ho bechaare Virdi ko? Speech likhega, proof-read karega, gaaliyon ko edit out karega... 20 seconds mein possible hai yeh sab?? ;)

Idiot you forgot to thank Priya for allowing you to stalk my hand!! :O

//dont worry tere se ek baar toh zaroor milonga... arre aakhir mere ko tere haanthon se jo milna hai...
Gosh! Looks like I need a manicure too! Divya, wait up! :)

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abhinav .

Angelsera said...

woow....tts a long but v endearing post.

Yup I am also a fan of ur comments section!!

Love to read all the squabbling and esp virdi's rather hilarious and sometimes out of context comments


Anil said...

Haha.. I nearly laughed my balls out reading this post! Excuse me while I plop them back in.

Siddhu said...

That was an awesome post! How'd you manage to sound touching and funny at the same time? Now even my mom's reading your blog - sent her the link. :)

Weird tat the Virdi post , and how people find his comments on ur blog as entertaining as ur blog itself, came when it did. Cuz that's exactly wat I was thinking when i commented thus yesterday - Virdi, that was hilarious! The post brought me down some, cuz it was kinda depressing and all that, and then off you come with a blinder of an unrelated comment.

I'm still ROTFLing over the hand. :D

Anil said...

" Hi Virdi, I'm Sayesha. Big fan."

Is that line inspired by 'Family Guy'?

Sayesha said...

Hahahahaha! That was funny! I'm always amazed how weirdly they phrase these kinda comments! It's like "Nice blog! You wanna buy a ceiling fan?" or "You're so creative! Wanna lose weight?" Hahahahaha!

Hey Angel,
Yeah it's a really loooong post, took me a really looooong time, especially shortlisting his comments. So the Ctrl, C and V keys on my keyboard don't work anymore.

Turn around and do whatever you have to do. This is a family blog (ahem).

You sent your mom the link??
Errrmm... okay... lemme do some damage control now.
Oh hi Aunty! Didn't see you there! *nervous smile* Hehehe.. You dun happen to know my folks, do you? Hehehe.. Please dun pass them the link, okay? *nervous smile*

Nope, have never watched Family Guy.
"Hi Virdi, I'm Sayesha. Big fan." is something I always imagined I'd say when I finally meet him.

Ram.C said...

pretty long post on your patron..

liked few of those funny comments.

Siddhu said...

Lol! Mom's cool, Sayesha. More importantly, she doesn't know your folks

Drops Of Jupiter said...

*clears throat*

Are re are yeh kya hua
Maine naa yeh jaane
Are re are ban jaaye naa
kaheen koi afsana...

Drops Of Jupiter said...

jaane=jaana....typo..kindly edjust.

virdi said...

my plan is to stand for the president of India...
I like to shake it - shake it...
I like to shake it - shake it...
I like to move it move it...

tragicomix said...

i'd vote virdi for president of singapore..

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Anonymous said...

Hi Sayesha!
This is nandita.. virdi 's colleague.
I got hooked on to your blogspot after he introduced me to it , and now i have couple of friends hooked on to it as well! In fact i realsied that virdisms like "what the duck" are becoming part of my vocab!:))
Anyway, I must tell you he has been on quite a high ever since you told him, you will be writing about him. In his own words " I am on cloud nine, I am bryan adams" :)))
Keep the up good work Sayesha!
- nandita
p.s virdi if you are reading this .. dont forget my dark chocolates!!!

virdi said...

nanadita>> dark chocolates?? there are drak clouds all over my brains.. i dont remember anything.. if u promise to vote for me when i stand for the president only then i will give you dark chocolates... or else... who am i?? where am i?? i dont know you!!! :-P

Sayesha said...

Ram C,
Thanks :)

Haha... actually I dun let the second gen in my fam touch my blog, that's why this is off limits to my folks. Though I do copy paste selective posts once in a while and email them to my Dad (after censoring and editing of course!). He writes as as hobby too, and it makes him very happy to read stuff I write, and apparently, he really enjoyed this one.

Drops of Jupiter,
Arre re arre banta hai toh, ban jaaye afsana! :)
ps: You a Mellu chick? :)

Virdi, Tragico,
President?? Virdi??? Hahahaha! Mere dono deshon ka kya hoga! :D

Hi Nandita!
Welcome to Sayeshaz. So the man spreads his charm at work too, eh? :)

Virdi ke bache ke baap,
You giving Nandita dark chocs?? What the!! I want chocs too! Kit Kat only, btw. Bhej dena!

angelsera said...

hey speakin of KitKat.i din know u liked kit kats :) was the one I gave u??it was a new flavour..was it any gd?

Sayesha said...

Hey girl,

I LOVE Kit Kat! :P

And guess what? I really dislike peanut butter, so the new flavour you gave me kinda messed me up there.. sorry lah, not your fault! :P

I think I'll stick to Kit Kat original! :)

Sumita said...

Hi Sayesha and all the other regulars on this blog...
I've been a reading lurker for a couple of weeks too now.
Am a colleague of Nandita's, who is a colleague of Virdi. :D
So many things I enjoyed reading on this blog and have wanted to comment, but delayed my response till I signed up with my own blog. Well, knowing me, that might take a few lifetimes. Did post on your travelogue though. As Sue. However, as Virdi has rechristened me and singlehandedly demolished that term of endearment bestowed on me by someone special, I will have to sign in normally. Thanks, Virdi. *dishooom*
So, what finally prompted me to post here? Not the wonderful writings and thots on life, song, friends etc and other philosophical journeys Sayesha has led us on to, but chocs. Yes, chocs. Here, we can kill our best friends if we see a bar of chocolate. The fights ensue the moment someone returns from the US/UK with bagfuls of chocs. There are stampedes and grabbing matches galore. Am a huge fan of Kit-Kat too. Sayesha, *hi5*! your name pronounced 'Sa-esha' or 'Ayesha' with an S before it? :-)

Sumita (Virdi, kindly note)

Sayesha said...

Hey Sumita,
Oooh another Kit Kat fan! :)

And on the subject of 'Sayesha', you can call me either :)

debubhai_bole_to_ said...

dear dearer dearest sayesha and and and genius kaa baap 2 r just toooooooooo goooooood:) salamat rahe dostana tumhara........bole to aaisi dillagi bohot kam dekhne ko milte hey....aur o bhi internet mein....bhai...hum to aap donoke fan( ceiling-cum-table-cum...) ho gayeeeeee:)

Sayesha said...

Hi Debu,
Thanks, man! And thanks on behalf of that gadha also! :)

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