Thursday, August 04, 2005

The unfair sex

When I went for the orientation programme for my Master's course, and looked around the lecture theatre, I got the shock of my life! Everywhere I looked, a female face looked back at me. There were no freakin' guys in there! And for a moment, I freaked out. I freaked out at the thought of being in an all-girls' class. I freaked out at the thought of three semesters without any guys in the class. Man, I actually freaked out.

For someone who's spent most of her childhood hanging out with the guys, bashing them up, climbing trees, spinning tops, flying kites, and balancing atop the narrow parapet walls, and most of her adult life (so far) gallivanting around Singapore, Cambodia and Malaysia with a buncha guys, this was scary. Now don’t get me wrong here. I am not anti-girl or anything. I am all for the ya-ya sisterhood. But sometimes, I get scared of fully female company (unless I know all of them very well, and I like them, which would make them at least a little bit similar to the kind of girl I am).

Ok, why do I hang out in an all-guys' group, and why do I run in the opposite direction when I see an all-girls' group? Well, here’s the thing. I believe (rather strongly at that) that girls bring out the worst in each other. For one, girls are complex. Face it. They are. They cry. They say one thing when they mean just the opposite. They can't make up their minds. And then they play games with guys, and politics with each other.

On the other hand, guys are relatively simpler to understand. They have no hidden agenda. They don't judge you on every little thing.
In fact, for most of the time, they are lost, clueless creatures who don't get why we cry, why we make those incredibly complex hard-to-decipher statements, why they can’t talk to us while looking at the sports channel, why we try to find the 'hidden meaning' in their words (when there isn't any) and why we expect them to be able to read our feelings. Not to even mention how freakin' difficult to understand we are. And if all this is not enough, we have pms. That’s a lot of things they have to deal with!

So frankly speaking, when there are too many girls around me, I actually feel ‘unsafe’. Maybe I am afraid that my hidden girly traits will take over and I will turn into one of "them".

To all guys whom I've confused and annoyed (to the point of utter frustration) with certain extreme girly behaviour at times, I want to apologise. I would like them to try and understand that much as I am 'one of the guys', sometimes it is hard to shake off all girly characteristics, and some of them do surface now and then.

Let's face it now -- we girls can't live without guys. And I am not just talking broken light bulbs that need to be fixed. I'm talking about the absolute need to have different viewpoints, different ways of thinking, and different ways of reacting to situations. The Venusians need the Martians.

To all those who say that in ten years' time, women will no longer need men, here's my reply. B-U-L-L! We need them as much as they need us and that's the whole truth.

Think about it -- we really give them a tough time, and yet they still manage to love us.

Ladies, let's cut the men in our lives some slack.


Vijay Ramamurthi said...

ah haa !!!!!! good one :)

Ro said...

hear! hear!

btw, can i join your class? or atleast sit in once? please

Manish said...

Such a flattering post for us! :)
Really enjoyed it!

Anonymous said...

I coudln't have said it better myself!

~ A girl

The Village Idiot / Soldier said...

Hey, Can I also sit in your class? Are the girls cute? Surely all of them are Singaporean?

Sushant Bhatia said...

Haha. Now you know what our predicament is with Computer Science. Just a bunch of guys head butting and scratching themselves...

Heres an interesting take :-)

And don't forget the grad student ettiquete

Ps. Vijay....if your the one from Malawi....WTF have you been :-) Stay in touch goddammit! If your not that vijay...apologies...ignore my maniacal hysteria

virdi said...

yahoo... now i think there is something fishy.. this is the first time a girl has said something like this in public... sayesha, you want something?? ok will get for you.. but tell me whats cooking behind your mind??
something fishy... :-?

raven said...

yessssss. the truth finally comes out. now only if more of the venusians could come out in the open and accept it. :>

Sayesha said...

Hahaha! Sorry to disappoint you man, but there are plenty of guys in my class. The fat-ass-lazy-bums just did not turn up for orientation! :)

Yeah man, come back and attend class with me here. MBA ko maro goli! Apart from Singaporeans, there's loadsa exchange students. (Why are all exchange students so hot, man? Is that like a university pre-requisite or something?? Remember cute French guy I wrote about, who makes my long day worth it?)

Virdi wale sai baba,
Yeah, you can do something. Get me a hot British guy on your way back from London. (Someone who can talk okay? Not a himbo!)

viv said...

It's gonna rain today! :)

mjey said...


Very true yar! I totally agree!

croondoodle said...

and to imagine that some of us spent all our growing years till O levels (SSC) in an all boys school where the only girls were the teachers!!! =O...ignorance sure is bliss but we end up understanding women a bit lesser which makes life all the more difficult!...booohooo!! ='(

Sahil said...

Bravo. Well done Sayesha. You've spoken the truth that all girls somewhere KNOW to be true, but can never admit it.

It's a wonder we put up with you chix man.

oxymoron said...

brilliant! brilliant! brilliant! u rock sayesha! one of ur best blogs to date! very true! finally a gal has accepted and put it out thr, wat all guys have always thought and believed and have been scared to mention (for all the reasons u've put down). truly amazing blog! u go gal!
galz need guyz as much as guyz need galz! its a give n take!
PS: guys r not that innocent as the blog indicates, but still, cut us some slack!

Sayesha said...

// guys r not that innocent as the blog indicates

Oxy, I never said that guys are totally innocent. My blog post was a confession 'as a girl'. Heck, it is not even 'on behalf of all girls'. It was just my own viewpoint, and an honest appeal to all girls out there about something I feel.

I am not here to bad-mouth all the girls and praise all the guys. Neither is this a 'I scratch your back, you scratch mine' kind of a thing. If some guy wants to disagree with me (and in the process blurt out any corresponding guys' side to this story), he's free to. If he doesn't, that's cool too. Doesn't make a difference to my views :)

The Village Idiot / Soldier said...

Sayesha : Gujju chick still not in sight here. But general beauty quotient in this place is very high. And people seem to be more friendly. Started taking pictures. The buildings, the architecture and all look really cool. If you visit next year - visit during summer - esp since it gets dark only around 9-930 PM.

Ram.C said...

Good open post, about what u think in your mind....

keep continuing.. glad that you won't bash men in your posts!!!

Anonymous said...

Planning some "I cook and you eat session" ? huh ??? and this post is used as a trap ?? hahahaha

mallikarjun said...

hi sayesh you are a bit of right and wrong also

Sayesha said...

You really think I need a "trap" to put a guest-list together for an I-cook-you-eat party? :)

Btw, welcome back! :)
And hope you're not the Anonymous who's back to posting nasty comments on my old posts. That one comment will always make you the first suspect, eh? Haha! :)

No right or wrong, my friend. Only thoughts.

And btw, that misspelling of my name had better be an honest mistake, dude! :)

Aye Kay said...

Oh god! Finally some gal with the guts to accept this. Phew. This is huge!! This is like nothing else :-p Need to pass on the link to all gals I know. Hmmmm actully if I do that, then they'll say "You know I'm gonna get upset", and then get upset :-s Walao. Its a no-win all the way for us poor guys :-s

patiala pataka said...

hey...hold on a minute what do you mean by clueless and lost?

virdi said...

Guy and the female kind.. i dont think sayesha is telling the truth.. I hope the next post is not >>> "CHECK OUT HOW I MADE FOOL OF 30 GUYS- Please read the comments of the earlier Blog"
I dont know whats cooking in her head. Baba Bulle Shah couldnt understand girls... Toh hum toh cheez hi kya hain ji??
sayesha dekh tu jo bhi bol itni jaldi hum tere jal mein fasne wale nahi hai..
ok will get a hot sa- sexy sa- stud looking sa- London ka Afro banda?? ok?? then u both can do.. huka ka buka huka huka... shark pit hu ha.. shark pit hua ha.. (i like animation movies)
people please check out the name of the blog just above this comment.. PATIALA PATAKA.. what original name.. awesome..

Sayesha said...

Aye Kay,
Yaar why do you want me to be shot down by hate mail from your female friends? :)

Patiala Pataka,
You're kidding, right?

No hidden agenda baba, and no tricks. Only thing is -- all guys who have read this post have signed the virtual agreement that they will never use the following in an argument with me -- "But Sayesha, you yourself admitted on your post that..."
Muahahahaha! :D

abhi said...

man , this is the divine truth in all its honesty.i need to print this out , infact a color print out , pull out xerox copies of it and slide a copy under every door of the girls hostel.

Vijay Ramamurthi said...

This is reply to sushanth Bhatia's comment.
What is Malawi????

PuNeEt said...

Wow… this needs admiration… pretty clear and straight…
Hey… BTW, I can’t imagine my life without girls…
Either I’m with a girl or I’m lying ;-)
He he he he

Good 1… cheers

patiala pataka said...

Sayesha, in an earlier post- I believe that the guys vs girls debate is the most futile one in the history of mankind.

hahaha....I think Sayesha really meant it.

Apart from Singaporeans, there's loadsa exchange students. (Why are all exchange students so hot, man? Is that like a university pre-requisite or something?? Remember cute French guy I wrote about, who makes my long day worth it?)

Just that we Singaporeans are so ugly so even a monkey looks Hritik Roshan in comparison!!

Sahil said...

I actually think some Singaporean chicks are hot. Unless off course you're talking about the guys - and for that you'd have to get the chicks' opinion.

Sayesha - no way man. No virtual agreement was made. You won't wriggle your way outta this one. So next time you're feeling all girly and upset at us guys, just remember your words. But don't worry we'll be there to remind you in case you forget. ;)

Sushant Bhatia said...

" This is reply to sushanth Bhatia's comment. What is Malawi????"

Sorry, your not the Vijay Ramamurthy I know from high school.

Malawi is a country in central Africa where I grew up. Its a small, laid back and sleepy country with a big lake and many fun things to do. :-)

Siddhu said...

That was one awesome post, Ma'am!! A great change from reading posts where women bloggers bash the shit out of men. Unfair or not as a sex, this post was fair, alright! :)

P.S: I'm getting addicted to ur blog. Always a great update up. :)

renegadefade said...

hehe u'll be glad to know that ur message was reproduced on the network community board of a certain hi ranking management college in india. oh yeah the girls:boys ratio is 1:10. so it was like manna from heaven to guys who r living out their miserable existence there.

Sayesha said...

If the girls bash you up na, I'm not to be blamed. Like I said before, I wasn't speaking for all girls! :)

Well said! :)

Yeah man, it's such a futile debate. Arre, guys wanna open the door for you. You want guys to open the door for you. The world is balanced. If it ain't broke, why fix it??

Cut this chick some slack yaar! ;)

Welcome back, man! Hope you finally sorted out where you wanna study!

Really? That's cool. Hope none of the 1 in 10 girls are sending 'Damn you, Sayesha! We had 'em in control!' thoughts my way. :)

Gaurav said...

u rock !!

Happy friendships day

Arun Caashyap said...

I'm very much flattered.....U rock...

Ash said...

Totally agree !!

Most of my friends are guys, including my closest, best friends.... I have only a couple of female friends, and they're very close to me....somehow with girls, its been either best friend category, or acquaintance category - nothing in between. I guess its cos girls invest more emotionally, and the friendship tends to be intense. Its far easier to maek, and maintain a friendship with a dude !

Sayesha said...

Gaurav, Arun,
Thanks, men! :)

//its been either best friend category, or acquaintance category
Interesting... and probably true!

penandpaper said...

I agree with your thoughts.I actually came to your blog through someone else's and liked it very much.
My experience is also that 10 guys can manage to live happily with each other, bonding and all that; but even 3 girls cannot stay happily.High chances are that they would end up hating each other.
Secondly, guys are always more helpful, they would do everything possible to help you--no matter if you are a girl or a guy!
Look at hindi movies, most of the stories are on male buddies--sholay is the first to cross my mind!

Anonymous said...

I completely agree. When i read your blog, i felt someone was saying whats always there in my mind. I have also been the only girl in all guy gangs. Most of my close friends are guys. I do have a gew girls as my close friends, but guys outnumber them. Surely its easier to be friends with guys than girls. As far as i am concerned i feel more comfortable with guys for one simple reason...they dont judge you all the time. I feel really relaxed with them comapred to girls as when i am with them i am always wondering whether something i just said hurt them or not.

Anonymous said...

I liked comments for ur articles more than the article itself
- A no ny mous

The Girl Who Sold The World said...

WOW! What a tequila shot!:D
You are abssssssssolutely right here!!! Girls are a pain, indeed...errr...okay, leave me out...and of course, you :P and some others. ;) Guys are more understanding, friendlier, less fussy AND not bitchy!
Me going to drink more now...better drink late in the party than never!!!

Smoke said...

Drugs are just bad, you should try to use Herbal Alternatives as a temporary replacement to loose the dependance!

Guitar Master said...

I wish I could blog as good as you, but what I can do is give you a nice Guitar Lesson!

Strider said...

Great read!

Ab aaya unt pahad ke neeche! ;-)

par wats this?
//In fact, for most of the time, they are lost, clueless creatures

he he LOL!

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