Sunday, August 14, 2005

Why?

Why is it that when we really miss someone, it's not too bad when we're alone, but when we're surrounded by a big crowd of people, we feel lost and lonely, and miss that person like crazy?



28 comments:

Arz000n said...

It happens to me tooo......trying to find out why myself.

Good that you blogged it..now me will read comments out here :D

crabhunt said...

Simple... actually in the 2nd case we dont actually miss him/her as such rather the irritation caused by the bugging of the herd of buggers around ;-) He He just kidding....

abhinav said...

When I am alone : I think about her.About how she smiled.how she frowned.how she pulled my cheeks.so i think about her.and i am so so lost in her thoughts , that i am not really away from her.

when i am in a crowd : somewhere in some part of my head , she still plays with my thoughts.little things remind me of her , but i cant really lose myself in her thoughts coz of the mess and noise around.so i keep on working and talking but the thing of missing her keeps growing in my heart all the time.

Not a theory.Just my theory.

Ro said...

perhaps you associate that person with crowds and miss his/her presense most when u r in groups

perhaps you are having fun, but want to share it with that person; or that person could've added something to that evening and u miss that

we could go on... but isnt this analysis useless? is the answer to you 'why' all that important in the first place? as long as you recognize the existence of your feelings.

Sayesha said...

Arz000n,
I was also hoping to read some insights from people on this! And looks like we already have some! :)

Crabhunt,
Altho' you were kidding, I think on some levels, you're right. Maybe we're thinking, "If these buggers can be here with me, why not the person I want here?"

Abhinav,
Your theory makes perfect sense, man. Things are already clearing up in my head.

Ro,
But many times, this 'unexpected missing phenomenon' also holds true for people whom you don't associate with crowds. But yes, I agree on the 'that person could've added something to that evening and u miss that'.

ps: Every analysis is useless. And every analysis is useful. If the human brain and heart did not analyse, there would be pretty much nothing there. And of course, this blog would not exist. :)
Reason why I asked the 'why' is that I just wondered if it was odd to feel that way -- shouldn't we be missing someone when we're alone than when in a crowd? But of course, I already have some of my answers in these comments. :)

Sahil said...

Well Ms. Sayesha, when I miss someone its different with me, so I'll explain that first.

When I miss someone close to me, I could be in a really crowded place, I could be my myself, or I could be immersed in work, but I would still have that person's "presence" missing. Something just wouldn't feel right. Having the world around me would also be inconsequential if that person is not there. And it happens without reason. I get sudden attacks when I seriously miss that person so bad, that I'm overwhelmed by that feeling, and it strikes at any time, without any warning.

Now to offer an explanation as to why you miss someone most when u're in a crowd... my contention is that u miss this someone equally in a crowd and when u're alone. The difference is, when u're in a crowd, u EXPECT that you shouldn't miss him/her. But you still do, and that baffles u - it doesn't make sense. But the heart works in weird ways.

Also, if everyone's having a great time in the crowd, then u wish that person was there coz u'd have so much MORE fun if he/she were there to share it with you.

priya said...

wen im alone i think of HIM becoz he's currenly physically away fm me.. even a grp of ten cannot replace HIS individual presence...y?? i dunno.. im in the same boat as u are girl :)
..p..

V said...

Umm....well, quite true.
I miss my school firends so much in college these days, and more so, when I'm IN college.
weird.but true.

spamtaneous said...

with soooo many ppl to comment on ur blog...how can u ever experience the loneliness .... :roll:

viv said...

Lucky him/her.

Sometimes, when someone says he/she misses you, it actually feels like there's someone else in this world apart from you who thinks your existence is worth while.

croondoodle said...

Guess we all need someone close, walking with us, witnessing every moment of our life passing by. When there are so many witnessing, when in a group,
its quite natural to feel the void of that someone special. Quite sad to realise that those moments when they aren't around, will never come back again.

Scarier still is being physically present with the person, but still missing him/her, cos you can't relate to them any more.

Anonymous said...

no one ever misses me so I have never been able to ask anyone the ans to the same question which nags me so much.Just cos no1 misses me doesnt mean I dont miss anyone.But well such is my life.

Sayesha said...

Wow... many different thoughts... amazing... I think it's only when we miss someone like that do we realise how much love the human heart is capable of.

Bonatellis said...

it's natural to hate duplicates, isn't it

Anonymous said...

hey sayesha.
was a reely nice blog. i totally agree with u on that.

Anonymous said...

hey sayesha.
was a reely nice blog. i totally agree with u on that.

virdi said...

sayesha this is in reply to the earlier blog... u donkey what do u think i am a kid?? i will climb trees?? hmmph!!! dekh loonga tere ko... dekh loonga... tu mere ko janti nahi hai aabhi, mera uupar tak connection hai.. parliament mein aawaz uthegi... sarkar gira doonga... tu mere ko janti nahi hai.. main koi baacha nahi hoon..
and yes it happens to me too.. sala London has a population of 70 lacs and I am missing HER lots... although i talk to HER everyday but the physical presence makes a lot of difference...
V..

viv said...

Sorry to change topic... but there's no other way to get my message across to Virdi...

Yaar, what's the matter with you? Why have you banned non-bloggers from commenting on your blog? Sure there'll be some stupid anonymous comments, but I'm sure they'd be fewer than the sensible ones.

If bloggers start banning anonymouses (most of us name ourselves) from posting, then that's being elitist. And the day that happens on this blog, I'm gonna stop reading blogs altogether.

Don't even get into arguing that to send email you need to have an email id and likewise with blogs... I will not create a blogger.com account just so that I can comment. And I don't think I'm the only one...

So basically, if you think comments from anonymouses are worth it, then please reconsider your decision. No hard feelings. Cheers.

patiala pataka said...

Happy Independence Day!!

virdi said...

viv.. changed that.. i think i will delete the comments which i dont like... like the ones which sayesha gets... get horny get hot visit this site>> www.gethorny&hot.com
what the duck is this.. i will be deleting this bakwas from now and and will never delete your comments.. ;-) happy?? and dont u dare say anything about sayesha's hands or else... ur time is over mate!!!
V..

ahaan said...

hmmmmm .Thinking .....

Sayesha said...

Virdi,
Don't take panga with Sayesha, bahut pachhtaayega! :D

Viv,
I agree! Just as bloggers have the right to not disclose selective info, Anons have the right to stay anonymous. That does not of course give them the right to be mean. Delete is better than block, I say. I am soon gonna write a post on anonymous commentors.

PP,
Happy Independence Day to you too, man! :)

Virdi,
Yeah man, delete the hate-comments. Use your power as administrator of your blog!

Ahaan,
Are you done thinking? May we have your thoughts now? :)
hmmmm. Waiting .....

V said...

Though I have to agree...YOU of all people CANNOT experience loneliness or miss somebody.You just have too many friends for that.:)
*Touch Wood*.

Princesse said...

i agree with priya completely.

it doesn't matter that u have a crowd or millions in ur presence. the absence of that one special person (doesnt have to be 'special' in ur life but someone who u feel belongs to that moment) pinches more than anything ...

Forever, those moments remain incomplete. And that's why - despite everyone and everything ... someone is dearly missed.

Sayesha said...

Sumedh,
It's not true, man. I do get lonely, and I do miss friends who go away from me :)
And yeah *touchwood* on the having friends bit.

Princesse,
I see you're back :)

Anonymous said...

Well I can suggest a song for u by No Mercy - And I miss you, like the deserts miss the rain

Happy Independence Day

T C

HoliDevil

Aye Kay said...

You know what! I think of all the 'answers' Sahil's was most accurate.

"...The difference is, when u're in a crowd, u EXPECT that you shouldn't miss him/her. But you still do, and that baffles u - it doesn't make sense. But the heart works in weird ways..."

Expectations make a human mind behave so wierdly :-s

D said...

Hi Everyone,

Well everybody has expressed what they feel about Sayesha's "Why".
What I feel about is not different but may be a mixture of many peopl's feeling. Just wanted to quote the words for someone I miss alot "What makes someone dearest is not just the happiness that you you feel when you meet them, but eh pain you feel when you miss them " Am missing her....