Thursday, October 09, 2014

The phoren trio

Okay, so I am now officially 'phoren-returned'.

Confused?

When I was growing up in India, 'foreign' or 'phoren' as it was known as where I grew up, was a noun. It was a place. Even movies used 'phoren' whenever they wanted to refer to any place outside India. Remember the scene in Hum Aapke Hain Koun where Mohnish Behl comes running to Alok Nath and reports that "foreign se abhi abhi fax aaya hai"? Like seriously? You can't say the name of the city or even the country? You're holding the frickin' faxed document in your hand. It really says 'From: Foreign'? Anyway, my point is that this is how it was. Unlike today, back then, phoren for me was this very faraway impossible-to-get-to place with awesome clothes and yummy chocolates where the cool people of the world lived.

I used to have close brushes with phoren during some of my summer vacations when my mom's sister would fly down from London with suitcases full of clothes, toys and chocolates for everyone in the khandaan. And to me, that was the real phoren. London. Over the next few years, under the influence of Bollywood and more Bollywood, New York and Paris also got added to the phoren list and this trio was what defined phoren for me. And I dreamt that maybe, just maybe, some day I'd travel to these three places. Or maybe just two of 'em. Or one perhaps?

But things changed. 16 years ago, I got the scholarship to come to Singapore and it became my base, my home. And I could go anywhere I wanted. So I did. I checked off London from my list in 2003 (I'd been working for a year and saving up for it), New York in 2006 and finally last month, I went to Paris. After I'd climbed up the 704 steps up the Eiffel Tower and paused to take a breather, I looked at the view, speechless. And the little girl in me only had one thought - I've done it. I've been to phoren.

And now with that kiddy-bucket-list-item out of the way, big fancy cities don't hold much of a charm for me anymore. I'd like to explore the nooks and crannies of the world. Though my dad's job took us through a lot of places in India, there is so much unexplored territory there too. Like the northeast.

So yeah, now the big dream is to really see the world. But the sad truth is that seeing the world can be expensive. Viv and I generally live a very simple life, but the one thing we do set aside money for every year is a good holiday. It's a little more difficult now with Xena, but we have been managing and hopefully can continue. I find that nothing opens up the mind like travelling. There is so much beauty to marvel at, so many people to meet, so many unknown things to discover about ourselves, so many journeys to experience, and so many experiences to live.

And it is humbling to see what a tiny speck we are in the grand scheme of things.

Every time we travel, we meet so many elderly couples who have retired and their children have moved away and now they just travel the world. And Viv and I look at each other and think, some day that might be us. Hopefully. Life is so unpredictable that sometimes planning anything seems silly and futile, but hope is what the world runs on.

In the words of RL Stevenson - There is no foreign land; it is the traveller only that is foreign.

Wednesday, October 08, 2014

Not your average Joe(har)

Regular blog bewdi Prathima sent me this link of a Karan Johar interview, where he makes fun of his own movies. I love KJ and his movies (except KANK, which, bleah, I cannot forgive him for) but I also love his personality. His brutal honesty and wit in this interview had me in splits, especially the part where he talks about how translation can ruin a Hindi song, using 'Yeh kya hua' as an example.

Thanks, Prathima. This is the video of the week at the bar: http://www.ndtv.com/video/player/the-boss-dialogues/karan-johar-kuch-kuch-hota-hai-was-one-idiotic-film/340719?pfrom=home-prime

Friday, October 03, 2014

Two of a kind

Me (pointing to a pair of twins in a book we were reading) - Oh look, twins!

Xena - Mama, what is twins?

Me (thinking about how best to explain this) - Ummm... twins are two people who were born together...

Xena - What.

(She says 'What.' with a period at the end instead of a question mark when she totally doesn't know what I'm talking about, or thinks that I'm talking nonsense.)

Me (trying again) - Errr... twins are brothers/sisters who are the same in age.

Xena - What.

Me (trying to think of the simplest way to explain without getting into the identical/fraternal technicality) - Umm... oh I know. Twins look like each other.

Xena (thinks for a while, then says with an air of finality) - Mama, I look like you. So we are twins.





Tuesday, September 09, 2014

From a Bhai-gone era

It's the Mary Kom success party, happening in Priyanka Chopra's sprawling lawn. All the biggies of Bollywood are there. Needless to say, Sayesha Smitten Showbiz Kitten has procured a pass to the event in spite of being on the blacklist.

In a corner are seated Karan Johar, Rohit Shetty and Subhash Ghai, animatedly discussing something. "I bet they are talking about the Ram Lakhan remake they announced last week!" says SSSK and rapidly approaches them with her notepad and pencil.

SSSK - Hello, everyone. I am SSSK. Reporter. Karan is of course familiar with my work.

Rohit and Subhash look at Karan. He shakes his head.

SSSK - Anyway, I thought I could get some bytes from you about the Ram Lakhan remake you announced.

Subhash - Ah yes, we were just discussing that.

SSSK - I figured. So... Ram Lakhan was a cult film. What would be different in the remake?

Subhash - Well, it's set in today's time, not 1989, so a lot of things would be different. I'll just let these youngsters make all the decisions.

Karan and Rohit - Really??

Subhash - Of course. I just have one condition as the co-producer. I'll make an appearance in the movie at a sudden and random juncture. I need to do that. I'm sure everyone will understand. I mean, even the IMDB page of Ram Lakhan lists me in the cast as 'man singing on motorcycle'.

Subhash walks away, whistling merrily. Karan and Rohit give each other unsure looks.

Karan - Yeah, we'll see about that. Basically, this is a fresh perspective on an old revenge saga so we will rewrite many of the scenes. There will be more family functions and songs, and maybe a little bit more crying... you know, after Ram's and Lakhan's dad is killed by the bad guys...

Rohit - And as everyone is crying, maybe some cars can explode in the background...

Karan - Yeah, sure... You da man. And my plan is that they will cry and cry and cry, and then the whole family will move to London.

SSSK - Erm... like in K3G? Is this going to become like one of your NRI movies?

Karan - Well, we don't have the details worked out yet, but yeah that might be one of the angles. You know, to modernise the movie.

SSSK - Speaking of modernisation, aren't the names Ram and Lakhan a bit old-fashioned?

Karan - Yeah, we thought of that, but we need to keep the title so people know it's a remake. Anyway, Main Hoon Na also had a Ram-Lakshman duo and no one objected. We might just change the rest of their names though... you know from Ram Pratap Singh to something a little cooler, like Ram Yashwardhan Raichand or something...

Rohit - Err... maybe. But we will definitely change the girls' names.

Karan - Oh yes, Geeta and Radha simply won't do. I mean, the new Radha is different. The new Radha likes to party. The new Radha likes to move that sexy Radha body. We will obviously have a disco number with both brothers and their girlfriends.

Rohit - Ah yes, and then some cars can explode in the background.

Karan - Sure, sure. And I also have this vision that when the brothers have a fallout, cheerleaders with pom-poms will be singing, "Ram-Lakhan ka jhagada!"

SSSK - Err... you mean like "Rahul-Anjali ka jhagada"?

Karan - Well, kind of. But it will be different. I mean, the clothes will be different. We're getting Manish, of course. And because Ram-Lakhan are supposed to be gareeb, he will come up with some gareeb outfits for them.

Rohit - Errr... we might reconsider that. Manish Malhotra's gareeb outfits are not exactly gareeb I think.

SSSK - I agree. If anything, they are ajeeb-o-gareeb. Ha ha ha!

Karan gives SSSK a dirty look.

Meanwhile, Jackie Shroff and Anil Kapoor walk over and join them.

Rohit - Hi, Jackie. Hi, Anil. We were just talking about the Ram Lakhan remake.

Jackie and Anil sigh.

Anil - So you're serious about it? You're really going to do it?

Karan - Yes, but not without your blessings, of course.

Jackie - Well, you have mine.

Rohit - We do???

Jackie - Yeah. As long as you cast Tiger as Ram.

Anil - What?! Then I want Harshvardhan as Lakhan.

Karan - Who is Harshvardhan?

Anil - What?! This is an outrage! You don't know who Harshvardhan is?? He is my son.

Karan - Wait, you mean Arjun Kapoor is not your son?

Anil (gritting his teeth) - Aaarghhhhh. That's why I prefer Hollywood to Bollywood.

Karan - Err... we want to take relatively established actors...

Anil - Well, they are RELATIVELY established, aren't they? Tiger is his relative and Harshvardhan is mine!

Rohit - Errr...

Jackie - I agree. Wait, let me call Tiger, you can audition him right now. TIGER!!!!

Tiger Shroff is seen bounding towards his dad, with a young lady in hot pursuit.

Tiger - Dad, help!

Jackie - Who is that??

Tiger - I don't know. She stalks me everywhere and keeps saying she has a question for me and if I answer that, she'll leave.

Jackie - So just answer her question na!

Girl - Oooh. So can I have an answer today?

Tiger (grinning) - Yeah ok fine. The answer is - yes, I'm single.

Girl - Hainnn?! That was not my question.

Tiger - What?! Then what's your question for which you have been stalking me day and night?

Girl - I just want to know the shade of your lipstick.

Tiger - Lipstick?! What lipstick?? I don't wear lipstick. Have you gone crazy? She has gone crazy. Someone get her out of here. I don't wear lipstick. My lips are naturally pink.

Girl (rolls her eyes) - Oh come onnnn!

Tiger (resignedly) - Ok fine. It's Candy Yum Yum by M.A.C.

The girl squeals joyously and leaves.

Jackie - Offspring... Sigh. Anyway, Tiger, they want you to play me in the Ram Lakhan remake.

Rohit - Er... we don't...

Jackie (ignores them) - So what do you say?

Tiger - Thanks but no thanks. I don't want to be compared to you.

Rohit - Errr... also, we are going to cast Danny as one of the villains. And you look so much like him it will really confuse the audience.

Jackie - Argh! I'm SO SICK of hearing this!! He doesn't look like Danny, okay? Okay!

Tiger - Please, dad. People have even said I look like Priyanka Gandhi. So I think we should just be okay with Danny. But I can't do this film.

Tiger leaves.

Jackie (irritated) - So whom do you have in mind for the leads?

Karan - Well, we were thinking of casting two guys who already have proven chemistry. You know, like Siddharth-Varun or Arjun-Ranveer.

Rohit - But then we felt that Siddharth-Varun are too chikna for the role. We need actors with grit. And facial hair.

Karan - Ok, Arjun-Ranveer then. Actually we have spoken to them about it. They watched the original and then told us that they were... umm... more interested in playing Bishambar and Bhanu, the bad guys.

SSSK - Hmmm, why don't you consider Ajay Devgn maybe? He is a seasoned tough cop.

Rohit - No can do.

Karan - Hey, why not?? Ajay would be a good choice actually!

Rohit - No. My contract with Ajay for 'Singham Returns Again', 'Re-return of Singham', 'Singham Returns Once Again', 'Singham Returns Yet Again', and 'Would You Believe It Singham is Returning Again' clearly specifies that he can't do any other cop roles.

SSSK - Wow. And what about the girls? Who's playing them?

Priyanka walks towards them.

Karan - Speak of the devil... We actually have Priyanka in mind for Geeta's role.

Priyanka - Geeta's role? You mean the one played by Dimple?

Rohit - That's right!

Priyanka - And who's playing Radha?

Karan - Most likely Alia or Shraddha or somebody. One of those youngsters.

Priyanka - What?! I'm not playing the older character!

Karan - But Priyanka, you are...

Priyanka - Silence! Mary Kom ki sari training ab bhi yaad hai. Mujhe old bola toh yahin par baja dalungi.

SSSK - She will send you into a Kom-a. Ha ha ha!

Rohit and Karan give her dirty looks.

Karan - Ok ok fine. How about we cast Parineeti as Radha?

Priyanka - I said I don't want to play the older character!!!

SSSK - But... but she's already your little sister. And the whole world knows that.

Priyanka - Hmmph ok fine.

She walks out, just as Rakhee walks in.

Rakhee - So you're very very sure you want to take Jaya Bachchan for my role?

Karan - Errr... yeah.

Rakhee - Don't take a hasty decision. Give it some thought. I can still do it. Watch this. (stands up dramatically and raises her hands) "Mere Ram Lakhan aayenge. Zameen ki chaati phad ke aayenge, aasman ka seena cheer ke aayenge!"

Karan - Ummm... that was from Karan Arjun.

Rakhee (looks confused) - Really? Why did I always end up with two sons seeking revenge?? (walks off)

Madhuri, who had been waiting for her turn, approaches them.

Madhuri - Karan, I really think you should cast me back as Radha. I mean... that movie is in my blood. Even now I can recite all the dialogues and songs... "O Raaaamji.... Mera piya ghar aaya, O Ramji!"

Rohit - Err... wrong song, Madhuri. That's from Yarana.

Madhuri walks off, looking pissed.

SSSK - Speaking of songs, the original had some superhit songs like 'My name is Lakhan', 'Tera naam liya', 'Bekadar bekhabar' and 'O Ramji', etc.

Rohit - Ah, yes. The songs will need freshening up, so instead of Ae ji o ji, lo ji suno ji, we will have 3G, 4G to appeal to the youth of today. And of course, we will have some cars exploding in the background.

Karan - And we will release the movie in Pakistan too, so we are having Ali Zafar sing 'Mere do anmol ratan'. We will slightly change the lyrics to 'Mere do anmol watan'.

SSSK - What about the most popular one - 'My name is Lakhan'?

Karan - Sigh. If the Dabangg folks had agreed to a collaboration, we wanted the song to be 'My name is Makhan'.

SSSK - Hain??

Rohit - There are already two cop brothers in the movie, you see. Chulbul-Makhanchand.

SSSK - Oh.

Karan - But they said no. So we will retain 'My name is Lakhan', but with additional lyrics.

SSSK - What additional lyrics?

Karan - It will go something like this... "My name is Lakhan. Le KHAN... KHH... from the epiglottis."


Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Double trouble

Old bewdas of the bar might know why I always say that I don't love Viv for his jokes, I love him in spite of them. I just went back and read this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and gosh, the man has cracked some reeeeeally bad PJs.

And his latest was performed smack in front of the 3.5-year-old Xena, with no regard whatsoever for the consequences. I was going through some Hindi flashcards with her when we got to the 'o se okhli' card.

Viv - Xena! You have okhli, and Poppy has Oakley too! Ha ha ha! Let's tell Mama!
Xena - Ha ha ha! Let's tell Mama!
Me - :/

It was therefore no surprise when I discovered that Xena has most definitely inherited and/or absorbed this trait from her Poppy. Here are some latest ones from her:

Me - Xena, please don't take your toys into the bathroom. They might fall in the toilet!
Xena - Mama, I want to put them in the toilet.
Me - Huh?! Why??
Xena - Because it is a TOY-let. Ha ha ha!

Me - Xena, we're going to the minimart now.
Xena - No Mama, it's not minimart.
Me - Huh? What is it then?
Xena - Mickey mart! Ha ha ha!

Xena - Mama, when Ryan (her friend) cries, what does he become?
Me - Hainn?
Xena - Cryan! Ha ha ha!

Me - Xena, come sit on the kitchen counter while I do the dishes.
Xena - This is the counter?
Me - Yes.
Xena - It can count from 1 to 10? Ha ha ha!

Xena - Mommy, when Poppy mops the floor, what does he become?
Me - What?
Xena - Moppy! Ha ha ha!

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it?

*thunk thunk thunk*





Monday, August 25, 2014

Bhatt of jokes

It's been quite a few weeks since the bar had a 'video of the week', and here's the perfect video for the comeback.

Is she cool or is she cool?

❤️Alia❤️




Monday, August 18, 2014

A smart cookie

A few months ago, I had blogged about smartphones and why I was so wary about getting one. I was happy with my Nokia whatever-model-it-was. Until one day it stopped working. Like many mothers, I would also like to blame the toddler for the breakdown of any appliance. It was HER water bottle that leaked in my bag and ruined my phone. (It's a totally different matter that it was ME who put her water bottle and my phone together in the same compartment of the bag.)

I still have to give it to the phone though. It coughed and spluttered and revived itself, and chugged along for another four months. And then SOMEBODY dropped it. I won't say who that SOMEBODY was, but I can tell you it was the same person who was silly enough to put a water bottle and a phone in the same compartment of the bag. And from there, it went downhill. Like a cat, it died and resurrected itself some nine times. The most effective strategy I used to revive it whenever it died involved a lot of thought and precision -- I had to determine the exact height from which to release it so that it neatly divided itself into four components, which then had to be immediately put together and the phone would become fully functional. For another three and a half hours.

It was in the middle of this that I wondered if it was time to recontract with my service provider, who would then put me out of my misery by giving me a new phone with my new contract. I figured it was best to get a smartphone, but without any smart features that would distract me and/or Xena and turn me into a smartphone-wielding zombie. At the same time, I could take good pictures and perhaps use WhatsApp only on WiFi for all the events I organise with others who only use WhatsApp. It would surely avoid stuff like the Easter party fiasco. And guess what? It was indeed time to recontract. So we went to the shop and had a look at all the phones. There were a few free phones they were offering with a new contract and Viv, after using his HTC to read reviews and comparisons, remarked how good some of them were. "The smartphone industry is getting really competitive," he remarked. I nodded smartly.

Anyway, they offered me a $50 voucher for the new contract and told me I could use it to offset against the value of my new phone. We picked the Asus Zenfone, which they were offering for $48.  The first thing that struck me about the phone was how big it was. Wait a minute, weren't phones getting smaller and smaller at some point? Weren't the smallest phones the coolest phones? When did they start getting bigger again, and most importantly, where was I? Anyway, with a beating heart, I held my new phone and observed it as it did cool and scary things that I was not familiar with.

"So now I need a screen protector." I said, brimming with the confidence that only people who have never had smartphones exude.

"Oh no, don't." said Viv. "It will interfere with the resolution." I nodded smartly again as if I really understood how it would impact my life.

Viv doesn't like any phone accessories. I have to admit though -- his phone actually looks sleek. Kinda naked, but sleek. So I knew where the conversation was headed.

"Ok, but I surely need a cover for the phone." I declared.

"No, bad idea." He said.

What was with all this negativity, dude? I decided to fight it out.

"I need a cover."

"You don't really need a cover. It makes the phone look ugly."

"I need a cover. What if it falls and breaks? WHAT IF I DROP MY BRAND NEW PHONE AND IT BREAKS?" I tried to make a strong point by speaking in all caps.

And then he provided me with the solution. A solution so simple and elegant and amazing that it reminded me all over again why I married this brilliant Homo sapien. A solution, which I think should be immediately shared with the entire humanity so that billions of deprived smartphone owners all over the world can partake of its amazingness.

"Don't drop it." He said, shrugging his shoulders.


Thursday, August 14, 2014

The jungle look


Xena (pulls out two combs and hands one to me) - Mama, come let's comb our junglee hair.
Me - What?! My hair is junglee?
Xena - Yes.
Me - And yours?
Xena - My hair is junglee too!
Me - And Poppy's hair is?
Xena - Handsome. 


Thursday, August 07, 2014

Hǎo jiǔ bú jiàn!

In case the title made you think that Xena somehow overpowered me and assumed full control of my keyboard, let me assure you that it is not so. The title simply means 'Long time no see'. In Chinese. Woohoo! Yes, I'm learning Chinese. Mandarin, to be precise.

A few weeks ago, somehow, the universe conspired to firmly plant me in a Beginners' Mandarin class. Well, this is what happened. My sis-in-law, who is staying with us now, had signed up for the class and then she got a part-time job and the timings clashed and she couldn't defer it and the stars aligned and bam, next thing I know I'm asking her if I can take over.

I must have been out of my mind when I asked her that because my July and August schedules are already jam-packed. I'm doing four projects at once, and one of them has daily deadlines. And Xena has been sick almost the whole of July and has lost another kilo, adding to my stress. So it was not exactly a great idea to completely ignore the existing contents on my plate and pile on one more thing. But somehow, somewhere, a hypothetical, rolled-up Chinese newspaper was thunking my head, reminding me that this was a sign and that I had always intended to take up Mandarin again.

Yes, I said 'again'.

You see, exactly a decade ago, I had enrolled myself in Cambridge Language School for a 10-week Mandarin course. Viv, who just happened to be with me as I was enrolling, suddenly found himself signing up too. I was thrilled. Here was my chance to show him his aukaat - his level. Muahahaha. My mom once told me that she thought I was very intelligent until she met Viv. Sheesh. Great. Thanks, Mom. So here was my chance at a face-off. To show him what stuff this first-bencher nerdy class topper was made of. He rolled up his sleeves too. Next thing we knew, we had become one of those obnoxious couples. You know, the kind that sits together at the first bench in a Beginners' Mandarin class and kicks everyone's ass? Yeah, that one. Needless to say, everyone hated us. Except the teacher, of course, who loved us. And somewhere along the way, in spite of it being a very difficult language to learn, I forgot about competing with Viv, and started truly enjoying the lessons.

Our teacher ("lăoshī") was from China and she spoke in very pure Mandarin. She was also exasperated at how, in her words, "so many Singaporeans kill the beautiful language with their bad pronunciation". So under her influence, here I was, telling my friends that they spoke bad Chinese, while they gave me looks that could only be interpreted as, "Please go back to your country." I know better now. And I can seriously tell you that the most brutal murder of this beautiful language happened at the hands voices of the back-up singers of the song 'Ajooba' from the movie 'Jeans', who sang "Ooowaanee oowaanee!" instead of "Wŏ ài nĭ wŏ ài nĭ" ("I love you, I love you").

Anyway, back to the topic. At the end of the course, I carefully kept my books and notes in my bookshelf. And never saw them again. Sheesh. It was sad because even Viv and I never practised together. So our Mandarin rusted. Into microscopic pieces. Until it was no more. The thing with learning a language is that you need to keep practising. You need to keep talking in that language. In Singapore, I rarely get that chance because everyone speaks English. (In fact, many of my Chinese Singaporean friends tell me they themselves rarely speak in Mandarin, even at home.) And when I did attempt to speak the language, I got laughed at. I blame the damned tones. Ugh, the tones. You see, unlike other languages, Mandarin has this amazing feature. The same syllable can be said in four different tones, and they all mean different things. So you might end up calling your friend's mother a horse because the word for both is the same, but the tones are different ("mā" means "mother", while "mǎ" means "horse"). My teacher told me that "mā-ma mà mǎ" means "mother scolds horse". Try saying that. Trust me, at the end of it you won't know if the mother is scolding the horse or the horse is scolding the mother!

Anyway, so here I was, back in the same boat I'd boarded a decade ago. I'd missed one lesson (the first one that my sis-in-law had attended) so I was a bit nervous when I entered the class. And obviously there was only one question in my mind -- would I be able to... bag a seat at the first bench? Of course, I got one very easily, because the first row is the 'danger zone' and no one wants to sit there and put themselves at grave risk. Especially during role play when the teacher asks the first person on the first bench to start off a conversation in Mandarin. The back benchers have nothing to worry about, because by the time the teacher is done making sense of what the front benchers are saying to one another, and correcting our 2727364638 mistakes, it's time for the lesson to end.

And yet, week after week, I sit there with courage in my heart, struggling with the tones and the grammar, attempting to string together one coherent sentence. Why? Because I love it. It is a very fun and interesting language to learn (well, the spoken form, at least). One of the perks is also that now I know what Xena says when she tells me something she learnt at school. The other day, as I attempted to stuff an apple slice that was approximately 0.0008876 mm thick into her reluctant mouth, she pointed to it and said "píngguŏ!" And I understood. Omg. I mean OMG. I understood what my kid was saying in Mandarin. I can't even begin to describe the thrill I felt. The other day I was at a shoe shop (where else?) and the shop assistant said, "Nĭ yào shénme size?" ("What size do you want?") and I was so thrilled that I forgot to say "sān shí jiǔ" and said the very boring "39" instead.

Learning Mandarin also helps me make much more sense of Singlish, which I'm fluent at, but never really saw the 'behind-the-scenes' of. For example, the simple "What do you want?" in Singlish is "You want what?" which makes so much more sense when you see that it's a word-for-word translation of "Nĭ yào shénme?" (Nĭ being you, yào being want and shénme being what).

I have two more lessons to go. And after that, I'll be on my own again. I don't know how much better I'll do this time. Maybe a little, maybe a lot. For all I know, I'll be signing up for another refresher in a decade's time. But for now, all I know is that I'm really enjoying it. Especially the fact that I don't need to learn it; I want to learn it.

Good night, bewdas!

Wǎn ān!

(Sorry, I don't know how to say "bewdas" in Mandarin. I don't think I want to ask my lăoshī either.)

Friday, July 18, 2014

(Made) my day

Before putting Xena to sleep, I always ask her to tell me about her day. She gives me a detailed account of every little thing that happened from the morning till the evening.

Recently, she finished her account and then suddenly asked me, "Mama, let's talk about your day now." I was surprised but I started, "Well... In the morning, I made breakfast for you and Poppy... and then I packed your school bag and got you ready for school..."

"No, Mama..." She interrupted. "Please talk about YOUR day, not my day and Poppy's day."

:')