Catch-up #13

I know, I know. It's been ages since I last blogged.

I have been crazy busy.

I mean, I have always been crazy busy. I have loved keeping myself crazy busy. But this is another level altogether. I am crazy busy.

This is the first time in my career that I have been bringing work home and sleeping late and doing all the things that I have never done in 16 years and chided other people for doing. It's partly to do with the fact that I need to dash out from work at 5 pm so I can get to Xena's after-school studentcare to pick her up before they start charging me. (No, I'm not kidding. If parents are late, they treat the kids like parked cars that have overstayed their welcome and start charging late fees by the minute. I think it's a dollar a minute for the first 15 minutes and then two dollars a minute thereafter. Or something like that. No, I would not like to find out the exact details.)

So I spend all day in meetings and discussions and when it's time for me to get to my desk and look at some proofs or answer some emails, it's 5 pm. So now I gather all my proofs and dash out, and work on them after putting Xena to bed at night. I answer emails from the bus (but not for too long because I get motion-sick if I look at my phone for more than 2-3 minutes; it's a blessing actually).

But this is all temporary. At least that's what I am hoping. Once I find my groove, it will get better. A full-time job with strict time constraints is new to me and I'm still kinda finding my footing. On the brighter side, I'm loving being back in the office, in the thick of things, amidst all the action, so that's really awesome.

In other news, Xena turned 8 last weekend. I still cannot believe it. How can I have an 8-year-old? It's supposed to be the most obnoxious age, isn't it? Smart-mouth brats is what they all become at that age, don't they? I once had an 8-year-old watch me cut a heart-shaped cake and dryly remark, "That's not how you cut a heart-shaped cake." "I made this cake and I'll cut it exactly how I want to cut it." I told her. Seriously?! Hmmmph! I'll cut my cake with a hammer if I have to! (Hopefully not; I'm not that bad a baker.)

But it's true. From my experience with countless annoying 8-year-olds, it is the worst kid age. I'm really hoping that Xena skips the obnoxious stage. After all, she did completely skip the terrible twos and threenage. Oh well. Fingers crossed.

In other news, I bought myself a cool knee brace online which has helped me get back to skating with minimal pain. I have a few more skills and stunts left to pass before I graduate!

This is me trying my hand (feet?) at the most difficult level 5 skill (toe-heel transition).



I thought I was being such a badass, until my coach told me this is just step 1 of the skill. The full skill involves skating forward on one toe and one heel, spinning on the spot and continuing to skate on one toe and one heel, but backwards! This emoji sums up my feelings towards it very well. 

But I am trying hard, and if some day I am able to do it, I hope someone's around with a camera.

Continuing the sporty news, Viv has embarked on something very cool in our neighbourhood. He has started a girls' football club! Basically, it's for girls who want to play football but don't want to play with the boys because they are too rough. So now he's got a full paltan of girls aged 5-9 whom he coaches every Tuesday. (I get asked this all the time so I'll answer: yes, these are free sessions.) I hang around to help him because sometimes the group gets so big we have to split it up to do the drills. But frankly speaking, I'm quite useless when it comes to actual football knowledge or skills, so I let him do most of the work.

But I have to say that watching him and the girls gives me major Chak De vibes.

Except that this is him, the cool coach...

...And I suppose this is me, the sarkaari lady.

So Tuesday evenings have now become absolutely insane as both of us rush back from work/school, change, get Xena ready, pick up all the props and dash for the field. A friend of mine shared this picture the other day and I could NOT relate it to MORE. 

THIS.IS.ME.EVERY.TUESDAY.

But like I said before, it will get better. It's just a case of finding my groove. I will draw the line at this. I won't take up anything else at the moment. After all, April's coming and Viv's going to be away for his annual teerth yatra to the U.S. and I don't know how I'm going to get three dabbas (they are all for Xena, by the way) and one kid and myself ready and leave the house by 6:35 am without him to help me. So yes, I will not take on anything else for now.

But oh, there's just one little thing.

April is coming and with April comes... the A-Z blogging challenge.

 

Catch-up #12

Hello, bewdas and bewdis!

I usually do a catch-up post right after I receive a concerned email from a bewda or two asking why I've fallen off the face of the Earth. So thank you, A G, for your email and getting me back to this page. Sometimes, even the most regular bloggers need a little nudge (or a kick in the ass) to get going.

So I thought I'd do a catch-up on what's been happening.

- We got back from a holiday in the Gold Coast a couple of weeks ago and it's officially my new favourite Aussie holiday destination! I'm currently trying to update my travel blog with the details. However, I'm also inundated with deadlines this month, so everything is in a mess at the moment. I hope to sort it all out soon.

- Speaking of holidays, someone please suggest a nice holiday getaway for (a) Northeast India and (b) Kerala. These two have been in my travel bucket list for too long and I don't know where to start. We will only have 3-4 days, so ideally I'd like to focus on only 1 or 2 cities at the most instead of trying to bhatko firo everywhere with a map and a bag of thumbtacks.

- Like the rest of the world, we had been following the ordeal of the Thai boys stuck in the Chiang Rai cave. Every single day, Xena would come back from school and ask me if there was any update on their situation and I would tell her whatever I'd read. We would then talk about how the kids must have felt in that dark cave with no food and little hope, and how they'd have coped. My head is still reeling at how the whole thing played out. Absolutely mind-blowing. I think I will remember this as one of the significant world events that happened during my lifetime. Something to tell the grandkids.

- I organised a 'back to school' reunion for our batch of university friends as this year, we complete 20 years in Singapore! 16 of my batchmates turned up, and one of them even flew in from India just for this. It was unbelievable walking down memory lane with the same people, but two decades later. Two decades. Man. I can't believe it. Sometimes I wonder if coming to Singapore as a teenager was written in my stars so I could successfully carry out the whole 'do Engineering but don't be an Engineer' thing in peace without getting any Sharmaji ka Engineer-MBA ladka talk from concerned relatives and neighbours and watchman bhaiya and doodhwale chacha. Or maybe it was the kaaynaat plotting for Viv and me to meet. (We'd never have met if we hadn't gotten the same scholarship to come study here.) Or maybe it was just for KK hospital to give me a second life. Whatever it is, these twenty years have been spectacular, full of ups and downs and laughs and madness and I wouldn't change any of it.

- I watched Sanju and was very disappointed. Other than Ranbir nailing Sanju's looks, there wasn't much to the movie. Why do they call these things biopics when they change names, change storylines and totally omit important details of the person's life? Not to mention that I wanted to slap every single female character in the movie. Why are they so badly written? Why didn't Anushka, Sonam and Dia roll their eyes at the script and go, "Thanks, but no thanks"? Also, you expect so much from Rajkumar Hirani that when he starts going down the Imtiaz Ali path, it's very disappointing. I read somewhere that he's writing MunnaBhai 3 now, though a trailer had released some seven years ago! Guess that's abandoned now. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

- I saw the trailer of Dhadak and no, no, no no no and no. Ishaan shows promise, but Jahnvi no no, no, no, no no no. Call me harsh, but no, no, no no no. Maybe the movie will prove me wrong, but if not, Jahnvi should stop herself before she goes down the Abhishek Bachchan path, and do something else with her life that she's good at and that she enjoys. I have been told that the Marathi original Sairat is very good and I'm thrilled that it's on Netflix. Will catch it when I get a breather.

- Meanwhile, we started watching Sacred Games on Netflix on a friend's recommendation, and boy, is it addictive. Kinda like Da Vinci Code meets Game of Thrones. We have watched only a few episodes though, so don't post any spoilers! And I know Radhika Apte is getting rave reviews for her performance, but I don't know why I don't get the RAW agent wali feel from her. (Not that I know any real RAW agents, but still.) I keep thinking of Sushmita Sen in Samay and how she came across as such a strong character and how I'd have loved her or someone with that kind of powerful presence to play this role. But maybe there's a twist somewhere about why she is the way she is, and I'll be a convert once the season ends.

- In completely unrelated news, Xena and I have joined inline skating lessons and there is so much to say about it that it will need a whole other post. Soon soon!

Until then, be good. But not too much, ok?
Cheers,
Sayesha

Catch-up #11

So my friend Pizzadude sent the typewriter gang (which has grown from a gang of 5 to 7+3) a photo of himself, dressed in about 237863463 colours, right after winning the 'best costume' award at the Govinda-themed party I had hosted. (Yes, I host Govinda-themed parties, and my friends actually turn up and participate actively. Yes, we are very classy like that.)

It brought back memories, and I immediately checked my blog to see when it was from. Early 2013. Gosh. When I told them that, Shub immediately remarked that my blog was archival gold, while I immediately felt guilty for not blogging as often as I'd like to. Well, it's the end of the year and like every year, one of the new year resolutions is to blog more. However, I didn't want to put the next post off to the next year, so here it is -- a catch-up post, which basically means either too little or too much is happening in life.

The year has largely been a good one for us, with lots of travel (India, Telunas, Bintan, Iceland, and India again), and we hope to continue it next year. The highlight, of course, was the Iceland road trip and spotting the Northern Lights. Viv also did a road trip in the US with his dad, which I'm still very amused at. Considering their personalities, it must have been the quietest road trip in the history of road trips!

I was quite happy with my health-related resolutions this year. I've been very regular at the gym, and I feel fitter than I ever have been (though there's still a long road ahead). At my recent full medical check-up, the doctor was super pleased to see the numbers (except for the anaemia which she frowned heavily at, but the low count is partly because I have thalassemia minor, and there is only so much I can do about it). Viv did well with his running targets too, completing 600 km in the year.

I stuck to my resolution of learning to make a new dish every month and ended up doing a LOT of baking. Though I love cooking, there is something so liberating about baking. Once you have put the stuff in the oven, you can simply kthxbai and wait for magic to happen. What a beautiful change from the 'stir continuously' philosophy of cooking.

We watched quite a few movies recently -- Ae Dil Hai Mushkil and Dear Zindagi with Pizzadude (Pizzadude and I are very large-hearted when it comes to Bollywood, and we usually sneak off by ourselves for such movies, which are unlikely to appeal to everyone) and Dangal with Viv. Loved Dangal to bits, even though I'd have preferred for the makers not to vilify the coach, or lock up the father during the final match. Too much deviation from what really happened just for dramatisation really takes away a lot from a biopic. (As a side note, I've started calling Viv and Xena Gitta and Babitta, especially when trying to jolt them awake in the mornings! And then I threaten them with "Kal subah paanch baje taiyaar rehna.")

We have also been Netflixing quite a bit, but lately with very disappointing results. Breaking Bad and Black Mirror have raised the bar so high that nothing else measures up anymore. I'm still looking for the precious hours I lost watching episodes of Sense8, Orange is the new black, Master of none, Stranger things, The glitch and The OA (which we are still watching... I'm still not quite sure why. Why, Viv?).

I've yet to make my resolutions for next year, and if I do come up with a good list of SMART resolutions, I'll do a post on that. Next year promises to be quite exciting. Other than the 'will he (Trump) / won't he' (be impeached), I hope the world is headed towards being a better place.

In 2017, Xena will enter the last year of preschool. The fun and games will end there, because once she's in primary school and the Singapore curriculum kicks in, it really kicks in. I'm hoping though, to put her in a school with a lot more focus on non-academic aspects and not have a 'toppers ki beti topper' mindset. Let's see.

Speaking of trying to parent well, I'd like to end my post with this video that I came across today, and found absolutely inspiring. It's not just about how to bring up kids, it's also about how to be a real person, a real human. I've watched a lot of videos this year, but if there's one video that I could pick as the most educational and inspiring, I'd pick this one.

Catch-up #10

Though my last post was only last week, I feel like a catch-up post is in order, considering the number of things that have been happening.

We just got back from a gorgeous road trip in Iceland, and I'll get to updating my travel blog as soon as I'm done battling my PhD. Post-holiday Depression, of course. What did you think?

Our home has been a busy nest the last few months. First, Mom was here for a month and we had a super time. Strangely, her visit felt very 'sisterly' this time (and I'm not just talking about the times when we got on each other's nerves). We went for a 'glamping' vacation (Canopi in Bintan), a movie (Dishoom, which I thoroughly enjoyed mainly because of the company -- my mom is even more forgiving of Bollywood than me!), a pedicure, shopping, checking out restaurants, and generally roaming around for no good reason. Heck, I even took her to the Singapore Night Festival (which was spectacular, by the way)!

Within three days of her leaving, I had more visitors -- S2 and family! What's better than friends from Hyderabad visiting you? Friends from Hyderabad visiting you, armed with Paradise biryani! Yumzaaaadoooozaaaaa! (Dad was posted in Hyderabad for a couple of years. I'd made a brief visit during my university holidays, and the ONLY thing I remember from that trip was Paradise biryani.)

One of the highlights was Shub, Pizzadude and me going to Cafe Iguana, the place where we first met a decade ago! The good ol' jug of mango margarita, the good ol' jalapeno poppers, the good ol' riverside view, and the good ol' company. It was heartening to see that we were all still the same. I still can't believe we met through our blogs! I am very tempted to recount the hilarious incident that happened at the restaurant involving a hot waiter, but I'm sure I shall be lynched, so I shall just say this -- 'What happens in Cafe Iguana stays in Cafe Iguana'.

Workwise, it's been extremely busy as the 100th issue of the magazine that I work for is coming up. I started working on this magazine in early 2003 with issue 19, and so it's a big personal milestone for me too. Of course, the milestone issue meant that I had to work extra hard when Mom and S2 were here in order to make time to hang out with them, and also do a bit more to get ahead so I could have my Iceland vacation in peace, but it all worked out well. Of course, now that I'm back, I'm madly scrambling to catch up again.

Viv is travelling again. In fact, he took off for Melbourne on a work trip the very next day after we landed. Melbourne of all places in that terribly jetlagged state! But then like a friend says, "Company toh in logon ke jet lag se hi chalti hai."

Meanwhile, Xena and I are moping and coping with our respective PhDs. Luckily, an India trip is coming up and I'm thinking winter+Diwali+wedding in the family should be all sorts of fun.

Signing off till the next time,
Sayesha

Catch-up #9

Hello hello!

I know it's been a month to my last post, but no, I didn't fall off the edge of the earth. My thanks to the bewdas who emailed to ask me if Xena is okay. She is, and thank you again. So many things have happened in the last month that I just have to quickly catch up before more stuff happens.

Singapore had elections on 11th September and I voted... for the first time in my life! I came here before I was eligible to vote in India, so I was very excited about going to vote. It was therefore, a bit anti-climactic, when I finished casting my vote in less than a minute. I'm serious. The whole thing -- getting inside the voting venue, verification, getting the card, voting and getting out -- was all done within a minute! And I had gone prepared with a water bottle, a book, sunglasses and what not "to keep me occupied and alive in the queue". Said queue was not even there!

The haze has hit us hard again this year, and at one point, the pollution level was in the hazardous range! Since Xena falls in the sensitive group because of her lungs, I've had to keep her indoors the entire time. All outdoor activities and swim lessons have been cancelled. Up until last week, we used to put on an N95 mask on her on the way to and back from school. Sometimes I can't believe that a clean and green city like Singapore has become so helpless because of our 'padosi desh ki gatividhiyan'. Sigh.

However, this has given us opportunities to come up with new activities that make indoors just as fun. My friend had gifted Xena an elephant-shaped chalk board, so I have been teaching her to write Hindi letters on it. (She will be taking Hindi as a subject when she starts Primary school and they expect kids to know how to read and write before they join. Her preschool doesn't offer Hindi, so I'll have to teach her.) To my surprise, she's been enjoying it thoroughly, and not taking it as 'padhai' at all. Nerds of a feather flock together...

Last weekend, we took a short vacation with some friends in Chiang Mai, Thailand, and it was fabulous. I'll post the details and photos on my travel blog Hopscotch at some point (I'm still chasing everyone to send me the photos, as they are on various phones), but meanwhile, I have a sneak preview below. Yes, for half a day, we wore tribal clothing, hung out with these gentle giants (including an AH-DORABLE 1-year-old baby elephant) in their natural environment, fed them, followed them around the valley, and get this -- bathed them at a waterfall!! I don't have enough OMGs to describe the whole experience! More on Hopscotch soon!

And that's all that's been happening, folks. How are you guys? :)

Catch-up #7

Bonjour, bewdas!

No, I'm not still in Paris mode. Just that I like the alliteration (and the deep significance) in 'Bonjour, bewdas'.

So here's my catch-up post, aka my way to convince myself (and some of you) that the blog, though coughing and spluttering, is still alive. The last few weeks have been crazy busy, with most of my time devoted to my attempts to convince my parents to come visit me. Xena's health still doesn't permit us to visit India with confidence, and they had last seen her in person when she was 1 year old. Of course, we Skype regularly, but some of the things that 3-somethings say and do just HAVE to be experienced in person. Of course, it's a Herculean task to convince my dad to abandon his organic farm to come visit me, so I didn't even try. I just asked Mom to come. My Mom, my ever hopeful Mom, has been telling me that there will be a direct flight between us "very soon". She has been saying that for about 7 years now. I see no sign of a direct flight yet.

On some levels, I understand. There are truly no good flight options for her to get here easily. It's a pain for her to do so many transits, sit in an airport by herself for several hours, and then make her way here. But after a while, I lost it and told them they were simply making excuses. Okay fine, cataract surgery is a valid reason not to travel, but long after that, so-and-so relative is going to have a baby, just had a baby, baby's 21-day ceremony is coming up, etc. are not valid reasons at all. I think Dad was busy tending to his garden, and Mom was busy tending to him. The trip was not going to happen. I was starting to lose my patience. So I did what every dignified cool-headed daughter would do. I did not slam the phone down on them twice. I did not accuse them of loving Xena less than my in-laws did. I did not say that I thought that they thought Skype was enough to see their daughter and granddaughter. I did not stop calling and emailing them.

Ok fine, I did do all those things.

But the result - Mom's here! She is! OMG I still can't believe it. She's here and my Dad is on his way in a few weeks! I didn't even invite him, knowing fully well that that's the only way to get him here. Okay fine, I also told him about the Gardens by the Bay, one of Singapore's newest attractions which apparently sends green-fingered people into a frenzy. But still.

Before Mom got here, I was working crazy hours trying to get my deadlines out of the way so I could roam around with her. After all, I don't have the energy to do all this phone-slamming, emotional blackmailing, etc. all over again and honestly speaking, I don't know when she will be here next. Hopefully we will be in a position to make an India trip next year.

So Mom's here and the three generations of girls are having a blast. Mom might be Xena's grandma, but Xena's going all grandma on her. She used to 'toko' my mom-in-law about her dupatta, and now she tokos my mom about how the saree is a not a nice attire because "it shows the tum-tum". Hey bhagwaaaaan.

Speaking of the saree, we had a Diwali party in our condominium and I got to wear my most favourite attire in the whole world -- the saree! I tried my best to meet Xena's standards and not show any tum-tum. I think she was satisfied.

We also had a cool Halloween party on Friday, organised by a committee of four -- a German-Turk, a Serbian, a Mexican and representing both India and Singapore at once -- yours truly. Instead of having the kids go to 50 houses and come back with 873643760928709472987 pieces of candy each, we decided to exercise some candy-control measures. We set up four game stations where the kids could play Halloween games and win candy -- restricted to 5 pieces of candy per kid per game. We also had a pot luck dinner and it was fab. I have to admit that unlike the Easter party fiasco, being on WhatsApp really helped me during the Halloween planning. Some of you have been asking me how my new life with a smartphone is going and I have to say -- still great! I don't have a data plan, which means that when I'm in the bus or anywhere outside, I don't have my phone buzzing the heck out of itself. I check it only at home on wifi, and it's all within control. My life is pretty much still the same as before. Well, except for some disturbing WhatsApp groups where I have been added and people are sending each other sardarji jokes. Like, seriously.

Speaking of bad jokes, I heard that are some pretty bad ones in 'Happy New Year'. So I have decided to go into hiding, which I do every time SRK does a bad movie. Pretty often then, you might say. And I'll nod and agree. As I told my dear friend Starbreez, with whom I watch most SRK movies, I love him too much to go and watch 'Happy New Year'.

So that's what's been happening at the bar. How have the bewdas been? :)

Catch-up #6

Hola, bewdas!

I was going to start this post with 'How are you?' but it reminded me of the letters I used to write to my grandfather as a kid. I'd always - ALWAYS - start them with 'How are you?' until I got annoyed with it myself. So I switched to opening with 'I'm well and hope you are too.' So let me start my catch-up post with that. I'm well and hope you bewdas are too. I know several of you worry for Xena and send me emails whenever there is silence at the bar, and I thank you sincerely for thinking of us. So far so good, I'd say.

(Just a note that I reply to every single bewda/bewdi who writes to me. So if you have emailed me and not received a reply, please check that you haven't sent it to my old email address. That address had a totally unnecessary z somewhere, because in those days I was silly enough to join the bandwagon of adding a z after everything and actually finding it cool. Sheesh. Anyway, my new email address is visible when you click on my blog profile.)

The last few days have been crazy-busy. I've been wrapping up some projects, pitching new ones, going for Xena's hospital visits (regular check-ups, regular check-ups!), trying to get appointments with dentists and contractors (we are planning to renovate some parts of our home; I hope that it will be a neater place after that, but with a jumpy toddler in the house... who am I kidding?). The weird and wonderful thing is that in the middle of this chaos, I've also been able to slot in some time doing stuff for myself. My thoughtful sister-in-law Clueless, who's staying with us for a while, treated me to a pedicure last week. Complete with paraffin treatment and what not. (They put your feet in molten wax, sit back and pray that you don't scalded. Then they simply pull the solidified wax off your feet. Like a cast. I kid you not. I don't know if it does anything to beautify the feet, but it sure was an awesome phenomenon to witness). Clueless also persuaded me to go for a shade of nail-polish which I felt was too dhinchak, but it's grew on me, and after Xena's two thumbs-up rating (but then that woman would praise anything that's pink!), I really like it.

Thanks to Clueless' presence, Viv and I have also been able to watch some new movies in the theatre. IN THE THEATRE! We put Xena to bed and head off for a late show in a mall nearby, and then walk home. It's a 2-3 km walk and we actually get a real chance at conversation, without being interrupted every three seconds by Xena's alarmed accounts about her toys, "Mama, Poppy, Felix needs to poop NOW!!" (Why Felix needs to poop so much is honestly beyond me.) Anyway, we have managed to watch 'X-Men - Days of Future Past' and 'Edge of Tomorrow' in the theatre! And oh, did I mention that we watched these movies IN THE THEATRE??

Last night, as we exited the cinema just after midnight, we were stopped by a gang. No, we didn't have to turn in our phones and wallets. (Actually no self-respecting mugger would steal my phone.) If anything, they handed us a phone. It was a gang of friends having a surprise birthday party. They were crowded around a chocolate cake that had been placed on a supermarket trolley! They asked us to take a picture for them. Viv took it and then I realised that the plastic bag the cake came in was smack in front of the cake and though the friends were all in the picture, all you could see of the cake was the flame. They had already thanked us and taken the phone back, but I interrupted. I may be a lousy photographer, but I'm particular about composition and the story that a picture should tell. So I removed the plastic bag and rearranged stuff to make everything nice and visible and memorable. We redid the 'shoot', much to the amusement of the gang. We wished the birthday boy and moved on. I was reminded of the many midnight birthday celebrations we had during our university days, and how the birthday boy's/girl's hair, face and clothes were 'decorated' using a handmade mixture of cat food, flour, toothpaste and cabbage oil. They didn't call it 'birthday sabo' for nothing.

Aside from movies in the theatre, we also watched some DVDs I got from the library. We watch them accompanied by Breezers, after Xena has gone to bed. I quite liked the two recent ones we watched (Brothers Bloom and The Guilt Trip). I thought Brothers Bloom was particularly poetic, but Viv thought it was quite meh. The Guilt Trip, though somewhat predictable and armed with a really low rating on IMDB, was actually not too bad.

I have also managed to catch up on the trailers of the upcoming Hindi movies for 2014, and nothing seems really exciting. Ek Villain sounds a little promising, but after watching Hasee Toh Phasee, I'm of the firm view that in spite of Siddharth Malhotra's presence, a movie can be really bad. (I actually started disliking Parineeti after watching that movie.) Oh by the way, I'm going a bit mad over the songs of Ek Villain, especially Galliyan and Banjara. If you haven't, listen to them NOWNOWNOW. I do everything either humming the songs or playing them. Even Xena has started singing along with me. I'm seriously impressed at Shraddha Kapoor's rendition of Galliyan. I hope it really is her.

That's pretty much what has been happening here. And I'll wrap up this post with an extremely unusual ending.

How are you? :)

 

Catch-up #5

Hola, bewdas!
I know I have not posted anything for more than a month, and I'm quite shocked myself that there was nothing at all on the bar's notice board all of June. I didn't think I could go a month without blogging. I meant to write a post on 30th June, but guess what? We are back in the hospital again, and Xena's warded on oxygen. We came here on the morning of the 30th and have been here since. This is the fourth time in four months that we have had to bring her to the hospital for breathlessness. The cycle is exactly the same. It starts with fever, then a cough that doesn't go away, and then her blood oxygen level starts dipping (yes, we have an oximeter at home to track her blood oxygen levels; after two rounds of hospital visits, we decided we needed it) and we rush to the hospital. So here we are, back in the hospital where Xena was born and I was reborn. It's been two days and she seems to be okay when awake, but when asleep she's unable to breathe normally without oxygen support. Her doctors say she can go home as soon as she can do a full night without oxygen support. They can't say yet if these recurrences indicate the beginnings of asthma or it's just that her lungs are still too weak to handle any kind of trigger.

And what a trigger we had last week. You might have read about it -- forest fires in Indonesia caused a thick blanket of haze on Singapore and the psi was close to 500 at one point. 300 is already considered hazardous and anything above 400 can be life-threatening for the elderly and ill. Singapore is one of the cleanest and greenest places in the world and yet, we were so helpless when the haze hit. Even though we had her on full house arrest with all windows and doors shut tightly and the air purifier and air-conditioner running overtime, it didn't feel enough. We were especially worried as Xena has weak lungs and is more susceptible to such things. But the haze passed and I thought that was it. Well, I'm still not sure if it was the haze that caused her hospitalization or some other trigger, but she's here and we gotta get past this.

She's taking a nap now and as I move my eyes away from her face behind that oxygen mask and look around, my mind is filled with so many thoughts. One, to always be thankful for what I have, because many others have it much worse. There's a kid in the bed opposite Xena's, and he has cerebral palsy. He is also here for some respiratory issue, and nothing can compare to what he and his parents are going through. When the doctors do their rounds and discuss him, I hear words like 'morphine', 'palliative', and I feel so heartbroken for him and his parents. I'm not sure if he is aware of pain, but from the sounds he makes all day and all night, I really do hope he can't feel the pain associated with them. Every few hours, the nurses use a tube and suction to make him a little more comfortable. Compared to him, Xena, who when not coughing or trying to pull the oxygen mask off, is generally chirpy and happy, seems like she doesn't even belong here. I don't know why it always takes someone else's misery to trump ours before we come to our senses (actually sometimes we don't) and stop ranting about our lives.

The other thing I notice is how articulate and patient the doctors and nurses are. I don't know why I expect them to be rude and snappy. Maybe it's because this is a government hospital. Maybe it's because they have been dealing with sickness all day and night. But they totally surprise me. I am especially amazed at the nurses' dedication. Doing your job is one thing, doing it with passion and feeling, is another. Of course, I deeply admire the doctors for their knowledge and skill, and how patient and clear they are when explaining things to me or answering my questions, but I admire the nurses more because they don't even get the credit and recognition the doctors get. And they do the 'dirty work' day after day after day. How do they remain so polite and cheerful after having a full work day that involves putting tubes down throats and cleaning up perfect strangers' waste? Xena coughed so violently once, she threw up in her oxygen mask. I could not believe the speed with which the nurses managed to get the mask off, clean her up and get her new clothes and a new mask, reassuring her all the time that it was okay, and that it was actually good that she managed to get rid of the phlegm. The very next second, housekeeping had already changed her bedsheet too. It felt like I was watching things in fast-forward mode. 15 years of living in Singapore and I still stand amazed at the level of efficiency here.

Yet another thing I notice is how the doctors and nurses do manage to catch a moment of respite from their gruelling work. One of the Filipino nurses came over when all was quiet in the ward and asked Xena to teach her some Hindi in exchange for some stickers. "Baby, I don't understand what you are saying, but I find it very very cute," she said. She's now armed with some Hindi, courtesy Xena and her translator (me). When she comes over to bathe Xena, she says, "Baby, nahana nahana?" Then there were these two junior doctors who came over with a small box of toys and played with Xena for half an hour. I don't know if it was part of their medical training as pediatricians to get to know their patients more, or just them looking for some light moments to include in their tiring day. But I do know that all three of them had an absolute blast together. Xena kept asking me, "Doctor klangya? Doctor coming soon?" after they had left. For Xena, harder than staying in the mask is staying inside the cot, considering how jail-like it is and how jumpy and outdoorsy she is. So one of my main struggles is keeping her occupied and happy and so I get Viv to bring me a few of her toys and books each morning. (I really don't want to plonk the iPad in front of her just to relieve her boredom.) I'm eternally grateful to my friend N, who has brought me lunch every one of these days and helped to keep Xena entertained too.

I have stayed here with Xena for two nights now and am gearing up for a few more. Viv has offered to swap with me so I can go home and get some rest, but he's too tall for the parent bed they provide and I know he will have a horrible work day if he's not well-rested. Besides, last night one of the kind nurses who saw me sleeping like a horse aka sleeping standing up with one hand holding Xena's (she wakes up very often and asks to hold my hand so I just decided to stand next to her cot and sleep), she asked me to hop into Xena's cot so I could be next to her and still get some sleep. "Is that allowed? And more importantly, can this take my weight?" I pointed to the cot, looking for a 'maximum weight limit' sign. She made a "Tchah, it doesn't matter." face, so I lowered the side of the cot and curled up next to my baby, hoping that the cot wouldn't give way in the middle of the night! I must say both Xena and I managed to get some good sleep this way, and the cot didn't break either. But I'm pretty sure Viv won't fit if he replaces me tonight, even if he curls himself into a ball. So his job is still to fetch things for Xena and me in the mornings, and take back stuff in the evenings. This has also made me realise the importance of keeping a tidy house. On the first day, I sent him a list of some 40 items that we (mostly Xena) would need during our stay and though I had written down their exact locations, it still took him an hour to get everything together. So I have made a mental note to keep our home tidier than it is. I've noticed that when I am away on stuff that is out of the ordinary routine, such as holidays or hospitalization, it always makes me think of things that I generally don't think of, such as how to live a better life.

So there. While the doctors discuss whether this is just a viral infection of Xena's weak lungs or whether she is likely to develop asthma in the future, we're here, wishing and hoping that we can go home soon.

On a final note, I have some life-altering philosophical advice for you - tidy up your home. And oh, lose weight. So that if needed one day, you can sleep in a hospital toddler cot without breaking it.

Catch-up #4

So I'm looking at the date of my last post and in the words of a teenager, I'm going "ZOMG!!!!"

(Ok fine, not just in the words of a teenager. In my words too. Yes, I admit it. I use ZOMG. Well, sometimes OMG just doesn't do it.)

I have neglected the bar a lot in the last 2-3 years. And every time I do it, I find no other way to spring back than to write a catch-up post like this. Composed of all things random and then some more randomness.

This time, it's been too long. A month almost. All my bewdas have probably wandered away, but for some strange reason, I have started getting emails from companies who pretend to have read my blog. They send me 'proposals' such as 'invites for you to write about us', feature me on this 'new social network that helps Indian consumers discover new stuff', getting some 'bucks for your traffic and driving up ranking' or make me 'write something relevant to your blog but relate it to our product'. I ignore all such emails the way one ignores random fraaaandship requests on FB, and most of the time that's that. If their email is a little personalised, I might just drop a reply to say that the bar doesn't feature ads. But sometimes they send a follow-up email which makes me laugh. Especially when they say something like "If at anytime, you are thinking that we are ruining your site revenue strategy, then I will persuade you to believe otherwise." (True story, that.) My "site revenue strategy"?? Hahahahahahahaha.

Honestly, I don't think the bar is what it used to be in terms of traffic, and I am ok with it. I have not been as regular or interesting as I was a few years ago when I was young and foolish. Now I'm just old(er) and foolish. So... here's a message to all these companies -- trust me, you will not make any money advertising here. Even if you are okay with earning 3 cents a year off my blog, I don't want to feature any ads. The bar was and always will be my random hang-out place, it will never be a business. If I didn't make it a business when I had a crazyass number of hits a day, why would I do it now when there are ummm... five people who read it? (Hmm... I should totally write a book called 'The five people who read my blog'. I bet it will make more money than Mitch Albom's book.) I think even Viv doesn't follow the bar anymore. Let's see how long it takes him to express his indignation at the previous statement. *evil grin*

A lot has happened in the last few weeks and I don't know where to start my catch-up post. But I do know that I will refrain from any Xena-related stuff on this post, because it's only once in a blue moon that I don't write about her.

So I will start with the next most important topic to me - Bollywood. I watched 'Special 26' and was not too impressed. I think the standards set by 'A Wednesday' are too high. Plus, after watching him in 'A Wednesday', no self-respecting Jimmy Shergill fan will support a movie that has him playing a pansy.

Speaking of things that disappointed me, I also caught Priyanka Chopra's album 'In my city'. I thunked my head on the wall. I can't believe a former Miss World and a Bollywood A-lister couldn't find someone to at least make the video a little classy.

Speaking of thunking my head on the wall, I read an old issue of Filmfare and you know that section they have been running for 8354876875486 years, where Shatrughan Sinha answers inane questions such as 'What do women want?', sneaking in a 'Salman is God' whenever he can? Yeah, so some girl had asked 'How should one ask the boss for an increase in salary?' And his prize-winning answer (I kid you not) was 'How can you, an intelligent woman, ask me such a question? You have the most important weapons, a smile or tears. But if they fail to shake the boss for a raise then the only potent option one could suggest would be just to sleep over the matter.' Honestly, I fell off my chair when I read that. I cannot even begin to list the number of ways in which his reply is sexist. And this was a prize-winning Q&A. Tsk tsk.

We also recently watched English Vinglish. I had watched it in the theatre but Viv had not because he was watching Xena. But it's such a lovely movie, I totally didn't mind watching it again. Especially when it was in the company of friends. We are trying to see if we can all catch up at least once or twice a month, even if it's just getting together at someone's place to watch a movie. We actually had a Govinda-themed party some time ago, would you believe it? Pizzadude won it hands-down, but I think I was a close second with my light blue capris, a fluorescent green spagetti strap top and a checked shirt containing the colours red, blue, green and black. And oh, bright pink slippers to complete the look. If visions of that are blinding you, try and imagine Pizzadude's attitre. The theme for our next party is 'Wear something that has been lying in your wardrobe forever, but you have never worn it'. That should be interesting.

Speaking of friends, our bestest friends from Dubai came-a-visiting and it was awesome! Guys, if you're reading this (you should be; you're two of the five people!), I miss you! Come back! Soon!

Recently, I had a chance to read Ashwin Sanghi's 'Krishna Key'. I had missed his 'Chanakya's Chant' which I'm told is very good, so I thought I'd try this as I'm very into Indian mythology. And then I read it. No, I made time to read it. And then I finished it. OMG. No, ZOMG. Honestly, I have never read a book worse than this one. Seriously. When I read the end, I did not know what to do and how to get all my precious hours back. A reviewer once said about a book, "You simply can't put this book down. You absolutely need to toss it out of the window." That is exactly how I felt after reading this book.

Viv and I bought Shaun T's Insanity workout program, and goodness, the name speaks for itself. It's just an hour each day, but the workout really lives up to its name. However, you will really feel your fitness level rise. I must warn you though, it is NOT easy. I am still doing the month 1 workouts and will probably never be able to proceed to the month 2 stuff (yes, it is THAT insane), so I keep repeating the month 1 routine. And it kills me. Every time. It's not for nothing that the Insanity people say 'My warm-up > Your workout'. (Disclaimer: I have not received any money from the fit folks at Insanity for the above paragraph. I would be really stupid to sneak in an ad in the very post where I am bashing blog ads.)

Speaking of stuff one can do at home, I actually attempted my first haircut by myself. I frankly can't afford the time to find a babysitter for Xena, and go to a salon for a haircut, especially if I'm going to come back looking like a scarecrow because the stylist can't cut Indian hair. Ok fine, junglee Indian hair. I figured I can't cut it worse than them so why not? It lasted 5 days. The hair-cutting process, not the hair. I actually started cutting bits and pieces whenever Xena was sleeping. On day 3, Viv looked at me funny and I had to explain to him that I was in the middle of a haircut. Thankfully, on day 5, I was happy with the results. So yes, it's possible.

All right, that's it for now. What have you guys been up to? :)

Catch-up #3

Ah, yet another catch-up post. But I need it to bounce back into the bar. Ooh, alliteration. :P

Mom went back to India last week. She stayed with us for a month this time. Though she's stayed longer before, this time I miss her more than I have ever missed her. The house feels empty, and Xena looks for her every day, almost making me cry. The three generations (or 3G) had a great time. This time, there was an overlap between mom's and mom-in-law's trips, and so we decided to have a short getaway in Batam, Indonesia. It was great fun, especially for Xena, who was utterly spoilt by two grandmas at once.

I lost my phone on the day my mom flew off. First time ever. To the valley of lost phones, cabville. Never again will I laugh at people who lose their phones in cabs. At first, I panicked because I thought I'd have to get a new number (hey, don't laugh at me, I'd never lost a phone before!). I was extremely upset because Viv and I got our first mobile lines together when we were not even dating, and our phone numbers are just one digit apart, something that obviously means a lot to us. Luckily, I got a new phone and replacement sim card and my number stays the same, except that I have to add back all my contacts. But that's good in a way, isn't it? Automatic phonebook housekeeping. Clean slate.

Viv and I managed to catch two movies. IN THE THEATRE! (Only those who have babies would know what a big deal this is.) Mom babysat while we watched 'The Dictator' and mom-in-law babysat while we watched 'The Amazing Spider-man'. We chose late-night shows so we'd be out while Xena was sleeping. By the way, did you notice that 'Spider-man' is a hyphenated word? I always thought it was 'Spiderman', until I studied the poster closely. Ooo. Anyway, I found 'The Dictator' hilarious (except for the very appalling mockery they made of childbirth) but I didn't like Spider-man. In the cab back, I counted the number of genres in Hollywood that I cannot watch any more - war movies, horror movies, romantic movies (Titanic and Notting Hill made me gag), animation movies (yeah ok, except for Nemo and Monsters), superhero movies, loud thrillers, teenage flicks, chick flicks, and so on. Yeah, I realise there is nothing much left for me to watch, except some comedies. It's hard to explain why I'm so forgiving of Bollywood movies, but am very reluctant to go watch a Hollywood movie in spite of favourable reviews.

I got the most brutal haircut of my life yesterday. I was trying to explain to the hairdresser that I want it really short, so short that it can't be tied, and he was having a tough time understanding me. Finally, I resorted to Singlish, "So short until cannot tie." and he understood at once. Or so I thought. Actually, I think his interpretation was "So short until cannot see." And he cut and cut and cut, so fast and so brutally, I had no time to react. Well, at least now I look like Xena, what with the same hair length and all. So if you are tired of people saying that your baby looks like your husband, you be the Mohammed and you go to the mountain and you get a haircut that makes YOU look like your baby, and then see what people say. (A lady in the playground said to me today, "Your baby looks exactly like you." I thanked her politely without letting her catch the inner muahahaha-ing.)

Viv is off to Papua New Guinea tomorrow for a cricket tournament. I'm nervous about managing Xena all by myself, and I hope she behaves. As long as she doesn't wake up at 4 am like she has been doing lately, I'll be generally fine.

Before I sign off, I have a threatening message for a blog bewdi. Anshu, I hope you don't think that Bhai does not reply to emails from bewdas and bewdis. I replied to your email the same day with itinerary suggestions for Singapore, but I have not heard back in three weeks. So I am using the bar as a platform to ask you -- Whyyy you no reply me? Bhai will now put supari on your head when you visit. :/

So that's all that has been happening. Coming up in the next post, shots of my first Amar Chitra Katha comic compilation circa 1984.

PS: Any bewdas/bewdis living in KL?

Catch-up #2

All right, once again I need to write one of these 'catch-up' posts to, err... catch up.

Yep, I've been busy. Busy with Xena stuff, which I'll steer clear of in this post. And busy with other stuff. Such as planning that trip to the US to see my nephew whom I haven't seen. Like ever. We were all set to go in July because Viv's cricket schedule has a 3-week break, and we had almost booked the tickets, but thanks to mahabali google devta, we found out that NYC in July is going to be as hot as Singapore and oh my goodness we are so not going anywhere where the weather is as hot as Singapore. So now the trip is tentatively pushed to September and I really really hope it happens because we have a ton of people to meet!

Speaking of trips, Mom's coming here in two weeks so yeay! I'm counting down and making and receiving calls that mostly sound like this - "No, no, don't get new clothes for me. I have more than enough. No, no mithai either! Nothing. Just come!"

I've also managed to get some more freelance projects lately and I sneak away to work when Xena is napping. If all goes well, my new book should be out by August. Before you jump and think of me as one of those cool children's book authors, let me clarify that I don't write the kind of fun stuff you usually associate with children's book authors. I write hardcore syllabus stuff. In other words, padhai ki kitaabein. Ugh, right? I know. The stuff that makes kids hate me. Some day, some kid is gonna point to a book and ask Xena, complete with a disgusted look, "Didn't your mom write this?" And she's gonna come home all upset and say, "Mommy, how could you??"

Viv and I managed to catch Vicky Donor in the theatre some time ago. I wanted to do a review on the blog, but now the moment has passed. It's quite a fun movie to watch, except that the lead actress can't cry for nuts, and the lead actor just makes me wanna say "Naha le yaar!" Viv and I have also started watching Mere Brother Ki Dulhan on DVD and honestly, I don't know why they compare Imran Khan and Ranbir Kapoor. Ranbir Kapoor is a way way better actor than Imran Khan. 

And lastly, I have been busy clearing the house of LTF stuff. What's LTF, you ask? You don't know what's LTF? Ha ha, how would you, when I coined the term myself? Well, LTF stands for stuff which Lies There Forever. Unless you clear it. You need to do something about LTF - donate it, sell it, throw it - because if you don't, it will, you know, Lie There Forever. Sample this. Open a shelf or a drawer which has an assortment of objects. Examine each object carefully. Some of it is stuff you use, some of which is stuff you WILL use (some day, at least that's what you think) and the rest... Well, the rest is there because, you know, it is there. And that's the LTF stuff that's driving me crazy now. Like we say in Singapore - buay tahan oredi!!! ("I can't take it anymore!!!")

And that's what I've been up to. What about you guys? :)

Catch-up #1

So here I am, playing catch-up with the bar again.

I suddenly realised three very strange things: (1) I did not write an 'Annual report' post for 2011, like I have been doing in the last few years; (2) I did not make any resolutions for 2012; and the most horrifying one (3) I wrote only 64 posts last year, wayyyyy wayyyyy below what I did in earlier years. Sheesh. Well, all of these can somewhat be attributed to all the happenings last year. The first half of my year was spent running to and fro between home and hospital, and the other half was, um, spent running to and fro between home and hospital. Oh well. I would say that it was an interesting year in general, strengthening and humbling at the same time.

2012 feels strangely different. Maybe I find it strange that I am home all the time. Or maybe the fact that I am home all the time and not minding it so much is stranger. From leading a team of 35, to reporting 24-7 to a baby is a huge change. There is definitely a sense of loss of power from being a career woman to a stay-at-home mom, but there's a different kind of empowerment. I remember my sister saying that she never once regretted quitting her job when Aishu was born, and now I know what she meant.

It feels strange to be sitting in this room, on this computer and typing this. Usually I'm on the iPad because then I can be right next to Xena. But today, I wanted to take some time off and spend it at the bar, letting my thoughts out on the iMac (yes, we're an Apple family) which actually allows me to type long sentences and paragraphs. (I can hear Viv and Xena 'conversing' in the next room -- it's hilarious.) But I figured I need to make some time for the bar every now and then, even if it's just a random catch-up post like this. Not because I want to up the number of posts, but because I really really like to blog. And as I always tell myself -- if you really really want to do something, you will really really find time for it.

In other news, two very important men in my life have majorly let me down. Relax, Dad and Viv, it's not you guys. It's my beloved Shah Rukh and my beloved Imtiaz Ali. I watched Ra.One and Rockstar on Mio TV. (That's one great thing about Mio TV. New movies come on it so fast I don't even miss going to the theatre.) And may I just say Oh.Em.Gee. Seriously, SRK, what were you thinking? I don't think I have watched a movie as bad as Ra.One in ages. And though Rockstar was a huge hit and critically acclaimed and all that blah blah, I found it terrible. I just didn't get it. In the immortal words of the Black Eyed Peas -- where is the love? When I watch a love story, I need to feel the love. I need to want the lovers to get together. In Rockstar, I couldn't be bothered. Just like Love Aaj Kal, I felt nothing for the protagonists. Maybe it was because the leading lady in both movies were so bad. I have always found Deepika Padukone the worst actress today (Sonam Kapoor is a close second), but when I saw Nargis Fakhri aka Donald Duck in Rockstar, I couldn't believe I could find an actress worse than Deepika. And with that, Raju Hirani topples Imtiaz Ali to take the top spot in my favourite directors' list. Maybe Imtiaz Ali thought he would make real actresses out of Deepika and Nargis the way he did with Kareena (you know he did), but dude, catalyst kitna bhi solid kyun na ho, reACTants barobar na ho toh ghanta reaction hoga?

All right, enough about Bollywood. Because once I start, I can't stop. Oh, just one more thing. I'm totally not looking forward to catching Don2 on TV. On second thoughts, I may just watch it to get some material for an SSSK post. And oh, I am totally obsessed with the songs from the movie Love Break-ups Zindagi. And oh oh oh, I was totally surprised to find out recently that John Abraham has an MBA! (I told you once I start, I can't stop.)

Ok ok, digress digress. Viv and I are planning a trip to Perth this month. Though Melbourne and Sydney were higher up in our holiday list, we want to take a short flight first and see how Xena does before we venture further. Our 5th anniversary is coming up, and we thought we should take a family holiday driving around Perth. (We have already delegated tasks. Xena will drink and Viv will drive. I will supervise.) This is going to be Xena's first overseas trip, and I am super kicked and super nervous. Bewdas who live in Perth or have been there, your suggestions on what we should see/do are most welcome!

Chinese New Year is coming up, and it will be a long weekend! We're planning to have a pot-luck lunch at our place with friends, followed by dumb charades using names of B (and possibly C, D and E) grade Hindi movies. Sample these -- Haseena Haathi Wali and Mita De Bindiya Utha Le Bandook. (I swear I am not making these up. These are actual movie names.)

So that's what I have been upto. Bewdas, how have you been? :)