How many uncles does Lily have?

My magazine has a section for jokes sent by kids. It's one of the most popular sections and gets a lot of entries. I have to periodically do a filter to separate the good ones and file the rest in a file called 'Unpublishable entries'. It breaks my heart to think that these jokes, which I'm sure my li'l contributor must have guffawed over for days before sending in for publication, will never see the light of the day. Which is why I can't bring myself to trash them.

Kids laugh at everything. Really. They do. I find it very difficult to filter the jokes I receive. I do not want to hold back what I think is a bad joke, but which the readers will find utterly hilarious.

And that's why I am so thankful for my tuition kid. Not only are my Wednesday lessons an absolute delight, but they also transfer me into the world of primary school children and what makes them tick. When I see the things my tution kid laughs at, I find it easier to put myself in the shoes of a reader when I am assessing the 'bad jokes' I receive.

Take today for instance. My tuition kid was telling me about a classmate of hers who's taller than each of the boys and girls in her class.

"You know... Everyone looks up to her!" She chuckled delightedly.

I laughed.

"Everyone looks up to her!" She repeated, just to make sure I had not missed the joke.

I laughed again.

"But she looks down on everyone. Hahaha!" She said, as she went back to solving the question she was working on.

Within a few seconds, she was looking up again, "And you know? She even looks down on teachers. Especially the short ones. But she has to look up to the tall teachers. No choice! Hahahaha!"

Uncontrollable laughter on her part. Polite smile on mine.

And how can I forget the day she was telling me about how she likes bowling most of all. "But my mother wants me to study all the time, do a post-graduate degree and become a professional. Siao! (Crazy person!)" Now she did not pause enough between the words 'professional' and 'siao' and I quipped, "So your mother wants you to be a professional siao, huh?"

"Hahahahaha! Professional siao! You're so funny! Hahahahaha!" She said. I looked around, embarrassed, to make sure no one was listening to the conversation.

And then there's the multiple choice question she was struggling with today.

Q: To be a good lawyer, one must be ______________ in court.

(A) flair (B) eloquent (C) fluent (D) dilemma

Finally she gave up and declared, "The answer should be "present"!" She squealed in delight. Ok, this one was hilarious. And just watching her laugh at her own joke made me laugh uncontrollably too. (I think her mother will fire me if she finds out about the insane amount of laughing that goes on during my lessons.)

And here's another one. Part (a) of a question with a picture of an amoeba read, "Identify the organism shown below." And by mistake, I read part (b) of the next question which was based on a family tree. So I read out, "How many uncles does Lily have?"

"What??? Lily?? Who is Lily?? Hahaha! You read the wrong question! Hahaha! Who is Lily?"

"Maybe Lily is the name of the amoeba?" I suggested.

"Hahahaha! Hahaha! Lily the amoeba! How many uncles does Lily the amoeba have? Hahaha! " I had to literally hush her into silence.

And even today, whenever she sees a question with parts (a) and (b), right after solving part (a), she says without fail, "How many uncles does Lily have? Hahaha!!!!"

Oh the joy of being a child...