Wednesday, November 02, 2005

A case of borderline obesity

Many people reward themselves after a good workout. "If I work out for an hour today, I'll treat myself to a pizza."

I like to reward myself with a good workout. "If I finish studying chapter 13 by 9 pm, I'll treat myself to a workout."

My last place did not have a gym. And although my weight is fine, I did want to tone up. So some time last year, a friend and I went to a reputable gym to check out their membership packages. After showing us all the equipment they had, they asked us to wait for the instructor who would give us 'advice'. So this really short but incredibly bulky guy with biceps that seemed to almost rip his T-shirt open, hereinafter known as Annoying Gym Instructor (AGI), walked up to us and told us that before we decided to join, it was recommended that we do a fitness test first. We agreed.


At the end of the test, he said to me, "Ok, according to the test, you've been classified as 'borderline obese'. But don't worry. I will customise a week-by-week schedule for you to work on the problem, but I recommend that you join the gym as soon as possible."

I looked at him in disbelief, unable to speak for a moment. Then I smiled. Did he actually classify me as 'borderline obese'? I don't even consider myself overweight! I looked at my friend. His face had a mixture of what I call amazement, amusement, surprise and shock.

AGI, you may have your sophisticated fat analysis machines and vernier callipers, but I have MY EYES! And they tell me that I am not borderline obese. They also tell me that you're one of those AGIs who make money for their gyms by playing on the insecurities of women
who think they're fat because their necks and waists do not have the same circumference.

What you forget, my dear, is that I don't strictly fall in that particular category
.

The guy pissed me off so bad, I staged a grand walkout.

This year, I moved into my new place which has its own free gym with my own kheti where there are no AGIs trying to make you feel bad about yourself.

Hah!


"Borderline obese, my foot! You're the only one who thinks so! Burn in hell, AGI!" I thought to myself.

Life went on, rosy and happy as usual.

Till one fine day, I met an unbiased neutral third party who seemed to agree with AGI.

Check out the expression on the face of the horse I rode in Genting Highlands.

What the..??!!





45 comments:

!xobile said...

wah wah!
Aaj to I won!!

its a tuff thing to be commentin 1st here!

!xobile said...

HAHAHHAHAHAHA!
THE HORSE IS AWESOME!
I CANT STOP LAAFIN!
shit!

amazing
u dont look so fat in pic though...

:(
with ur post, i remember my gym
i used to gym but then i got typhoid :(

its been 3 months since i saw my pyara gym's face...

Sayesha said...

#Ze Exaggeratorr,
One chapaat to you for thinking that I am fat! I'm fine, I dunno what crap the AGI was talkin' about!
ps: You should start gymming again, man!

Sahil said...

Nice photo - but why'd u blur it?

Ah rite. The unwritten blog rules....

Sayesha said...

#Sahil,
Thanks! It was taken by a very close friend of mine. It's one of my favourite photos! (Except for the damn horse's expression!)

I blurred parts of the photo to ensure that the focus of the photo is the horse, not me. Trying to put my Design classes to practical use! :P

But you're right, I generally don't put photos of myself on this blog, only on my travelogue ('cos cannot help it).

rimjhim said...

Won bronze..
now lemme read it :>p

Jay said...

Did the horse just 'trot' along or 'gallop'? :p

rimjhim said...

poor horse :-(
Or was it a lazy horse ...
Who wanted to nap..But u came in way ;;(
Bad Sayesha..insaanon ko pareshaan krtee ho..bechare bezubaan jaanwaron ko to tang mt karo!!

Sayesha said...

#Rinku,
Ye kya ho raha hai? No one wants to comment on the actual post anymore? :O

#Jay,
Well, the ride cost 3 ringgits. That's like 35 rupees. What do you think it did? :P

fao said...

were u riding side saddle? :-/ or were you getting down?

i love gyms! everyone is so self-obsessed there that it makes me feel normal.

Sayesha said...

#Rinku,
Oh you're back? I just sunao'ed you! :D
Poor horse? Poor Sayesha yaar! :P

#Fao,
I was getting off yaar. You mean pple ride 'side saddle'? Hahaha! :D

rimjhim said...

haan jee..
i m very much back,,
But why poor Sayesha ??
Hey this 'poor' word dsnt suit 'Sayesha'..

i ll beck in a jofy
GTG

rimjhim said...

BACK Again..BANG


waise ye 2nd wala AGI bahut hee kameena tha!!!
but these ppl actually make fool out of sm ppl especially gals!!

hope ur new gym is nt having expression like this after u've started working thr :-p

!xobile said...

i neva thot ur fat..
i said u dont look fat in pic

so reverberating chapaat 2 u...

ps. yes!! I will! I will join!

Aethyr said...

fat.???did anyone say fat??
is there any gym that is for making people fat..i m all game if there is any..

..i think the horse was tired and was panting...:-p

Cheers!

ritzkini said...

photoshop ??
:)

PS:no comments on the fat/not fat argument..cant see clearly !
:)

virdi said...

kini.. just see the poor horse.. it says "arre bhagwan is haathi ke baache ko mere upar se utaro!!"

hahahahaha... hey haathi oops sorry haathi ke baache, shall i post your other foto on the blog?? the one where u are fat... pls pls...

V..

Ms. V said...

I was feeling really down in the dumps today, but I didn't realize that of all the things in the world, a horse's pic could cheer me up. Hee hee. That's just hilarious!

WV: yuuoi! Try saying that loud. That's hilarious too! I think I need sleep.

Ashish said...

damnit :O

someone call SPCA asap!!!!!!

PS: C'mon virdi I love you sooo much. let it come, let it come! I am already looking out for gifts for you :> :> *wink* *wink*

Harshi said...

hahaa..:-) Lagta hai Us AGI ne hee ghode ko train kiya hoga.

Gosh Sayesha, I can't believe Mr. AGI said that. How ridiculous. Does he think we women are that dumb? I would have laughed like anything if I were there :-)

You reward yourself with a workout. Wow. Wish I liked workouts that much! :-) But even if once in a while I am seen in the gym, I am told to push off to a restaurant to eat :-)) Friends think I have no place in the gym. But they don't get the point you see. I go there to get fit, not to lose weight :-)

The Priestess said...

Here on someone's recommendation :) Mom and I loved ur diwali decoration.

I hate it when people go on working out in the gym seriously looking thru others as if they don't exist! Thankfully no fitness tests in my gym!

the circumference line: hilarious!!

HoliDevil said...

Borderline Obesity

The horse is heavily panting.
Remove the pic before someone from PETA sees it and sues u :-)


TC

spamtaneous said...

i read the title as borderline obscenity :o

haha.... the circumference line: hilarious!!..women r dumb.. u see

offtopic: yest. some lady got pissed off at me cuz i called her a bitch.. is it such a bad word?

spamtaneous said...

nice pic yaar...why did u blur it?

spamtaneous said...

ok i got the answer..for the blurred pic... :)

priya said...

hahahha!!
the horse's expression is priceless!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
pity the poor thing...
it has a boderline obese woman on it ;)
oye dont hit ... thump thump..
poor lil priya gets thrashed by sayesha :(

..p..

Keshav said...

Since you blurred the pic...the horse looks like Gandalf's white horse..lol..arre yaar chodo woh 3rd party neutral wale ko..you are not obese or anything ....if "borderline obese" is what they call you ..then I would say..."borderline obese" is a la mode !! so chill :).

Rays Of Sun said...

Hey Sash!!

Woh insaan ko double battery lake de:p,if he calls you borderline obese or whatever!! Give him my email ad, and I will give him all the fundas of what is the definition of overweight, underweight etc etc! Ridiculous!!!

Rays Of Sun said...

hey, may be I should go to that AGI! for a change I will also be called as Obese!! I would so love to hear that:))

PuNeEt said...

Good one dear…

Borderline obese… he he he…
If some one will tell me that I will exactly know how to revert back ;-)

I’m also planning to join a gym… let’s see where AGI classifies me ;-)

I was laughing seeing the horse’s expression… poor baby…
Are u really borderline obese ;-)
Hehehe
Ok ok peace out…

Wishing u a very Happy Diwali

Take care
Cheers

Kroopa Shah (Kr00pz) said...

LOL, but from the pictures I've seen of you you definitely don't look anything close to obese!!

Vikram said...

Hahahahaha...hilarious...

Is that the way you ride a horse? hahaha

No wonder the horse is making such an expression...

!xobile said...

exactly!
as pointed out by vikram..

looks as if ur doin a stunt or sutmn!
or sitting on a horse like wives do behind a scooter(in india)

Rays Of Sun said...

Guys, dont you see..The horse is malnourished:p

Ashish Gupta said...

On a second thought, yes of course the horse would be malnourished, after having to do the job of a dump-truck and still geting only a horse's normal diet to eat :-"

by the way SPCA= Society For Prevention of Cruelty to Animals :|

Sayesha said...

Yeh kya ho raha hai???

#Rinku,
I agree yaar, I think a lot of AGIs convince many insecure women that they are fat. And that's just not right! :/

#Ze Exaggeratorr,
Ok, we're even on the chapaats then! :P

#Aethyr,
Tired and panting? After a two-minute stroll in the park? I think it was trying to tell me something, man! :|

#Tarzan,
Nope, not photoshop. Picasa :)
ps: I am NOT fat! :/

#Virdi,
Gainda kahin ka!
ps: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! :D

#Ms. V,
Yuuoi, girl!! Glad that the horse made you laugh. Wasn't funny for me tho :P

#Ashish,
Stop hitting on Virdi for heaven's sake! Do you have pretty hands? If not, he won't even consider you. Hah!

#Harshi,
I agree! AGI ne ghode ko commission dekar patti padhayi!

What AGI said was indeed ridiculous. But sadly, there are women out there who'd believe these morons! Aaarghh!

//I go there to get fit, not to lose weight :-)
Precisely!

#The Priestess,
Hey, thanks! :)

#HoliDevil,
Someone should sue the horse, man! Under 'misrepresentation'. Any lawyers here?

#Spammy,
//i read the title as borderline obscenity :o

Gosh, guys I tell you... dimaag mein kya hai tere??

// is it such a bad word?

All depends on the tone, my friend. And also how many exclamation marks you said after it. ;)

ps: I suppose you got the answer to the blurring from my reply to Sahil.

#Priya,
Hey, who're you calling borderline obese, sister?? Ever looked at your own self?? Hahahahaha! :D

#Keshav,
Thanks for validating, Keshav! ;)

#ROS,
I swear, man. You should come here and go see the AGI, I'm sure he'll say that you're critically and grossly obese! :/

#Puneet,
//Are u really borderline obese

Tujhe kya lagta hai??? Photo dekh na! Gosh, sab kuchh explain karna padta hai! :D

#Kroopz,
I'm not, my dear. The AGI was either very dumb himself, or he thought I was very dumb.

#Vikram,
Ullu I was gettin' off the horse!!

#Ze Exaggeratorr,
Sayesha the stuntgirl! Hahaha, I like the sound of that! ;)

#ROS,
Arrreee tu meri side hai ya Ashish ki?? :/

#Ashish,
Everyone knows what SPCA is, my dear. Gosh, you'd make a good AGI.

Bhole said...

Its the gym's strategy to rip people off....

Your pick reminded me of an episode from That 70's Show. Its Eric's 16th B'day and his mom gets him a so called horse (its actually a short pony). So Eric's mom says...sit on it I want to take a pic. Eric says if i sit on it...it will die :) he he he

Sayesha said...

#Bhole,
I know which episode you're talking about! It was HILARIOUS! :D

Anonymous said...

Getting a horse ride - 3 dollar
Getting a foot massage while sitting on the horse - 5 dollars
Getting a picture with u sitting on the horse, getting a foot massage and the horse showing its grunt - Priceless

Sayesha said...

#Anon,
Hahahahahaha! Your comment is soooo HILARIOUS!! I couldn't stop laughing when I read it!! :D

Rohit said...

Calculate your BMI and see if it lies between 20 and 25. Unless its 24.9 you're not on the borderline of obesity.

You BMI = (Weight in kg)/(height in metre x height in metre)

Sayesha said...

#Rohit,
20.5!
Hah! :D

Rajesh said...

That's not a 'horse' :). That's an a..

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