Thursday, November 17, 2005

Anyone to validate?

There are some things which seem incredibly funny to us, but which get no reaction from others. In fact, we ourselves may not find it funny some time later.

On the day of my second exam, everyone was already inside the exam hall except for this classmate of mine (who incidentally, is eight months pregnant). About five minutes before the exam was to begin, the heavily pregnant woman slowly sauntered in just as the invigilator was making the standard announcement "You're not allowed to bring into this examination hall any unauthorised material or object."


It was too much for me. I know it was a serious examination hall and all that. But I just could not help it. So sue me. I found it funny. I had to literally cover my mouth with my hand to hide my smile. It was all I could do not to burst out laughing.

One of the invigilators was looking at me with an odd expression. Perhaps he thought exam stress had made me go bonkers. But surely others were laughing too? I looked around. Nope. Na-ah. Zilch. Serious faces. Everywhere. Not a single muffled laugh or smile.

What?? No one found that funny?? No one?

This is sad, I thought to myself.

"No, Sayesha, you are sad." popped a voice in my head.

'What?? Excuse me?"

"That wasn't funny, Sayesha."

"Well, excuse me for finding it funny! And I'm sure some others do too!"

"Oh yeah? Show me one."

"Errr..."

Backing. I needed backing.

I looked around again. I looked in front, no one was laughing. I looked back, no one was laughing. I looked to my right, no one was laughing. I had almost given up by the time I looked to my left.

And there he was. Hope personified.

The guy on my left was looking down at his desk, trying hard to hide his chuckles.


Phew.

Most of the time, we don't need any validation for our own thoughts or feelings. Especially not for our judgement of what we find funny.

But sometimes, we do need validation. Especially if we project our thoughts and feelings on to others.

And all we need for validation is just that one person who thinks like us.



42 comments:

Rays Of Sun said...

Wow me firstttttt Yeayyyyyyyyy

Rays Of Sun said...

Well, thats Ok. I smiled coz I found it funny. I do not need any body to validate my thoughts. Thats just me:)Who knows that one person probably needed validation from someone else:O

inhas said...

I never knew that you required validation from somebody to laugh (I am smiling all the time). Ya but it is true that though validation may not be a good thing for the mind but validation of major decisions by somebody close to you certainly puts the heart at ease ..

virdi said...

if you love someone do you validate it by asking someone "WHAT DO YOU THINK?? DO I LOVE HER??"

sayesha if we don't say what we what or what we feel, I think we are the biggest losers in life...

Rays Of Sun said...

I think, thats not what Sash is trying to say, Virdi!
I think she must be fast asleep by now:))

Its on certain counts that you need validation. Love is a deeper emotion. Pyaar karne wale ko bhi kabhi yeh pata nahi hota ki use pyaar hai ya nahi, woh kisi aur se kya validation mangega

!xobile said...

ARRE!
I've experienced it 503 times!!!

I can laugh at almost any bloody PJ any1 would say...
and most of the times... Im the only one laughing..
u dont need a backing.. just laugh...
afterall, its our right to freedom.

Most of the times, Im the only one who finds my own jokes funny and Im not ashamed to laugh.

Tinku said...

It was funny but probably nobody in the class could relate 'unauthorised' with the infant in the belly. Examination stress probably! If the invigilator had specifically pointed out to the girl "Lady, no unauthorised material in the class" .. that wud have got the entire class laughing. :))

@rays of sun
//Pyaar karne wale ko bhi kabhi yeh pata nahi hota ki use pyaar hai ya nahi, woh kisi aur se kya validation mangega

Ye baat kuch hajam nahin hui! Pyar karne wale ko ye nahin maloom hota ki jiss'se vo pyar karta hai usko uss'se pyar hai ya nahin. Vo bedhadak apni ego line pe rakh deta hai aur pata chalta hai ki googli ho gayi!!! :)

Tinku

Ro said...

satu orang
satu ikan

Rohit Talwar said...

this happens with me all the time!! and then i think its human to look for some backing, as you said...! it's so funny that the things u find funny dont even appeal to others...to an extent they dont even notice it. the next thought: something's wrong with me?

Harshi said...

:-)) I found that funny too Sayesha. I think if I was in that exam hall, I would be unsuccessfully pinching myself at that time in order to not visibly smile :-) Or probably bending down to grab an invisible something from the floor :-)) I think some people are real good at hiding their emotions. So you never know Sayesha :-)

But yes, some validation always feels good :-)

REVerenD said...

umm so do we always get someone who validates our thoughts? no we dont. yet we wish for it... almost always...the need for acceptance eh?

Harshi said...

Interesting topic about love and needing validation for that feeling. My opinion is that if we "doubt" whether it is love, then we are probably not in love. Love is so sure. We just know it. That's what I feel. And when someone can "read us" and tell us the same, we do feel good.

Harshi said...

Sorry for taking space but my thinking wheel is still on :-) But yes, there ARE some people who do better when they get that support and validation. Even though they might know they love someone, having someone else egg them on, makes them even sure of their feelings. In matters of the heart, I personally don't think I need any kind of validation, but sometimes, I tend to doubt my abilities in other areas, and a supportive statement makes a world of difference and helps me stay on that path. Okay, am done :-)

spamtaneous said...

hi..how r u :)

Sayesha said...

#ROS,
Haha! Double validation! :P
Yeah, you're right, we don't need validation for our own thoughts and feelings, but I had to shut the silly inner voice up, and I had already blurted out that others also find it funny, which is why I needed validation. And just one was enough! ;)

#Inhas,
It's not about validation to laugh, it's about validation to prove a point to someone. When you make a statement that involves others, you do need validation, because you can't project yourself onto theit thinking.

#Virdi,
Oh gawwwddddd! Koi leke jao re isko yahan se! You totally got me wrong! Like I said, we don't need validation for OUR feelings and thoughts, but only when we make a statement that involves others, you need validation. For example, if you say that she loves you, unless she validates it (by thought or speech), you're spouting nonsense.
ps: And this post was SO not about 'saying what we feel'.

#ROS,
Thanks for yet another validation, yeh Virdi bhi na itna jumpy aur senti ho jata hai! Offo! :)

#Ze,
From whatever little I know of you, I am sure you can! :)
And again, this post is not whether you should laugh at PJs or not, it's your laugh man! You can laugh any time you want! The post is about projecting a statement from oneself to others. In that case, you do need validation from at least one member of the 'others'.

#Tinku,
If the invi had to explain na, sara maza kharaab ho jata! I wouldn't have laughed! :D

#Ro,
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Boy do I miss Malaysia! :D
ps: Remember pasar ikaning? HAHAHAHAHA! :D

#Harshi,
Triple validation, yeay! I think the inner voice has died of embarrassment! ;)

#Rev,
Nonononononononooooooo!! We don't need validation for OUR thoughts, because they are our own and no one but us can understand them.

#Harshi,
Hahahaha! I have no idea when this post became all about 'love'. Damn Virdi! :D

#Spammy,
Hey hey hey! Where was my man all this while?? Kahan gaayab ho they?? Ya turned silent reader??

#People,
I refuse to get into the 'LOVE DEBATE' because my post was not about that. But if you wanna use Sayeshaz as the venue, go ahead, I don't mind :)

Rays Of Sun said...

@People,
Venue for what :p finding love or debating whether to find love or not..Gosh! me going bonkers over something and I am drinking away to glory at Sayeshaz:))

Bhole said...

It might be funny once, but not always.

Sayesha said...

#ROS,
Venue for finding love?? Hahahaha! Hey, Sayeshaz is not match-making agency, it's a bar! :D

#Bhole,
I agree! :P

Vikram said...

//And all we need for validation is just that one person who thinks like us.


That one person can be your alter ego, don't you think? :P To hell with the world, laugh at whatever you think is funny. No? I got it wrong again? :(

viv said...

#Ze Exaggeratorr!

Story of my life! No one finds my jokes funny. Anyway, they are! :)

Sayesha said...

#Viks,
Well, in this case, my alter ago was laughing at me for laughing at that. And I had just told my alter ego that others would find it funny. So now my task was to validate that statement of mine by finding "others" who did find it funny.

This post has nothing to do with whether you should laugh or not. It's all about finding validation when you make statements on behalf of others.

Clearer now? :)

Sorry man, I think the post was probably too cryptic, very few people seem to have got what I wanted to say :(

Sayesha said...

#Viv,
//No one finds my jokes funny.

Hey, that's not true!!! I find 50% of your jokes very funny. Of course, for the other 50%, I jus wanna bash you up. :)

Vikram said...

Yeah, I got the message you were trying to convey initially with your post but now it seems entwined :P...anyway, my question is why is it neccessary to validate something that you find funny? How do you know if the other person sees humor in the way you see it? According to me, you seek validation if you are unsure about certain things. In this case, it was genuinely funny, maybe some people in class didn't 'catch' the humor. Anyway, I hope I didn't sound insolent. :)

Sayesha said...

Gosh I just noticed I missed Rohit Talwar's comment!

#Rohit,
Apologies!!! :O

//the next thought: something's wrong with me?

I agree. :)
Or at times, "something's wrong with them?" ;)

Sayesha said...

#Viks,

//anyway, my question is why is it neccessary to validate something that you find funny?

The validation was not to determine whether something is funny. The validation was for the statement I made about others finding it funny. I said "I'm sure others find it funny too!" I needed backing for that statement of mine, and not whether the incident was funny or not. To me, the incident was hilarious. Period.

And no re, you don't sound insolent. :)
I think I sound insane.

Vikram said...

Oh ok. I get it now. You should excuse my speed at grasping some things which seem complicated to me. I hope I sound 'innocent' with this one...hehe..OK, don't hit/kick me...just fooling around

Rays Of Sun said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Raj said...

Tell me about it. I go around telling everyone about things which i feel are funny/weird/retarded or whatever until I get someone to agree with me. If i think someone is a li'l close to agreeing with me, I offer them an option of partially agreeing with me.

But the way I'm programmed, If nobody agrees with me, by default, I blame them. I say to myself, "These people suck. I should get new friends. People who think like me. I'm sure people on the internet will find this funny/weird/retarded or whatever"

Whoa, long comment.

Jay said...

Its the timing, and one cannot everyone to react to an event on similar lines.

virdi said...

thrbbbbbbbbbbbbbrrrrrrttttt....

you deleted my comment... cow...

V..

ritzkini said...

@sayesha:
/*And no re, you don't sound insolent. :)
I think I sound insane. */

I think We will all validate you on that !!
=))

Vikram said...

//I think We will all validate you on that !!
=))


Count me in too...=))

Ravi said...

I guess everyone would have their own moments when they need such validation. This is one of those things that make people different.

But yes I would definitely be the third person in the exam hall trying to control myself had I been there.

jade said...

i found that funny too. maybe some didnt get it n some didnt notice it.. happens all the time.
once i laughed out loud when a movie clip was screened in my class. it was a part of some presentation. it was a bit embarrassing... but then, what the heck!

Sayesha said...

#Viks,
Hota hai hota hai! :)

#Raj,
Hahahaha! :D
Yeah, long comment, but hilarious too! :)

#Jay,
True. It's all about timing and mental state! :)

#Virdi
Yes, I deleted your comment.
And here's a poem I wrote for you:

I'll edit out the part
that made me wanna throw up
Then I'll put your comment back
But Virdi, please grow up.



Virdi said...

this is my foot and now it is in my mouth....

***edited out part***

Ok i was wrong... :(

V..


#Tarzan,
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Gosh I almost fell off my chair, laughing at that! :D
ps: Did anyone else find it funny enough to validate? ;)

#Vikram,
Ah, there's one! Thanks a lot man!
ps: Seriously, it was hilarious! :D

#Ravi,
Yaar tu kyun nahin tha exam hall mein?? :)

#Jade,
Best way to put it, man. What the heck! :)

virdi said...

hehehehehe... i will not grow up... thrrrbbrrttttt...

V..

rimjhim said...

Happens yaar!!
most of the time ..i never find nybody to validate ...:(
aur bade log bloe to ..ma bapu to naaraz ho jate hain mere her bata pe hehe krne se...but jalddee maan behe jaate hain fir :)

PuNeEt said...

that was funny for sure...
may be u were the only smart to link it that way to smile ;-)

great going

cheers

Sayesha said...

#Virdi,
Tu barah saal ka tha, barah saal ka hai aur hamesha barah saal ka hi rahega! :D

#Rinku,
Hahahaha! :)

#Puneet,
Yeah yeah! ;)

Rohit Talwar said...

hmm.. yes.. majorly.. its 'what is it with them'

but who cares, eventually! after sometime i get down with one thing: atleast i had a good moment..

Sayesha said...

#Rohit,
//atleast i had a good moment..
Well said! My views exactly! :)

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