Friday, November 25, 2005

:) and yet :(

So I had some good news at work. Brilliant news, in fact.

It was a proud moment for me. I was very happy.

I think.

But every now and then, my heart would sink. As if something was wrong somewhere and I could not figure it out. What was it that was not letting me fully celebrate my moment of glory? What was that odd feeling that was gnawing at a corner of my heart, causing such ups and downs? Why were my eyes teary, why was my heart breaking? One moment I would be so elated, and the very next, I would come crashing down. Something was not right still. What was missing? What was it?

It just didn't make sense. It was supposed to be all happy. Sayesha, happy happy happy. Happy!

But why was I sad?

And then I remembered the little girl.

The one on the red bicycle, rushing home from school after the annual day, almost tumbling off her bicycle in her excitement to get home, not even parking it properly, but just pushing it against the wall of the house, tearing through the door, "Mummy!!! See, I won I won! Your daughter is first!" And she ran and put the medals around her mother's neck, and placed the trophies in her arms. Her mother beamed with excitement, while her father quietly looked on with a smile on his face, not wanting to be part of the almost embarrassing mother-daughter drama, but proud nevertheless.

How tacky. Sounds like a chocolate ad, doesn't it?

But this scene is straight from my childhood.

And that's when I realised. That's what was missing.

Phone calls... emails... naah! Nothing quite beats family being there on the spot, physically present, to see our moment, to share it, to live it with us.

Perhaps that's why I was sad in spite of my happy news.

Because somewhere inside me, that little girl still lives, and just like the old days, she wants to dash through the door, show mom her report card and say, "Mummy! See, I won I won! Your daughter is senior editor!"

But she can't.

Damn these long distance relationships...



53 comments:

Humjoli said...

kya baat hai? ye to kamaal hi ho gaya!!

Humjoli said...

Congratulations Sash!!!

I can understand your feelings. When you are away from home and these moments come in life which you want to share with all near and dear ones, you miss family and close friends like anything...

But, this is life. Take everything in your stride and keep moving.

Good show Sash! Good show!

ps: today is celebration day for me too. The website we guys were working on for last few months got launched today. Had a blast in office!

chandra said...

Congratulations sayesha!!

priya said...

oh balle balle!! senior editor sayesha.. party time for all bloggers.. so where's the bash??? :)
and abt the long distance thingy,.. yeah got my share of experince on it.. sighhhh :(

..p..

Clueless said...

hey!! first off, congratulations!! Sayesha, senior editor. Has a nice ring to it, dontcha think?? :)

And yeah, I totally understand what you mean. The little girl part actually brought tears to my eyes...cuz that is sooo me! :D I miss my family, I miss everything about them!! I miss hugging Mom, and teasing Dad...ah, those were the days...

But I'm going home in a week...so, yay!! I'm gonna cherish every moment I spend with them from now on...cuz I never realized just how much they mean to me till I came to S'pore. Long distance relationships can give u a lot of perspective on things...:)

Tinku said...

Wonderfull!!!

You sure have a talent with words. You made a happy event look like a tear jerker. Im like...ihihih Sayesha is a Senior editor :(

Congratulations and good luck!!! :)

Tinku

Sayesha said...

#Humjoli,
O ji tussi phir se??

#Humjoli,
Yeah man... I miss them when I am happy, I miss them when I am sad, I miss them when I am hungry, I miss them man.. :(

#Chandra,
Thanks! :)

#Priya,
Bash? Yeah I do plan to bash Virdi up! Please feel free to join the party! :)

#Clueless,
Thanks, baby girl! :)
ps: Hey I heard about your alien exam! ;) All the best for the rest!
pps: Lucky you, going home! And all I have left in this year is two days of leave :/
ps: Give your mum a big HUGGG on my behalf, okie? :)

Sayesha said...

#Tinku,
Oops, missed your comment. I think we posted around the same time. Thanks man. :)
It is a very happy event, yes, but imagine if they were here and I could actually see their faces when I told them about it?? SIGH...!!

Aethyr said...

ok am i missing something now..!! today itself when a friend asked me 'when u going home?'
i said..i dont plan to, atleast for a few months..but man now i m missing them....
i should just leave before i create a scene here...:(

spamtaneous said...

totally understand this feeling of urs...

even though im not very close to my family members... i miss them at times... esp after staying away for an year or so :(

mebbe its time for u to go home for a vacation :)

spamtaneous said...

'senior editor' where did u mention that in ur post?

Sayesha said...

#Aethyr,
Take me with you! :'(

#Spammy,
Yeah man! I know what you mean! Every time I go home, I argue with them over something or the other, but then I come back and I miss them! :(
ps: I have only two days of leave left for this year. And workload's gonna get crazy next year, so I dunno when I'll go home...

//'senior editor' where did u mention that in ur post?

Offo theek se padh na! :P
//"Mummy! See, I won I won! Your daughter is senior editor!"

croondoodle said...

8:15 to 18:03...5 days a week...!!!
yeh toh hona hee thha!
Congratulations! way to go! =)

inhas said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
bananapen said...

Congrats! About time that happened anyway ;)

inhas said...

congratulations on being promoted! But don't you feel that when you are away from your family for long, the times when you are together you cherish them more.. Just a thought... i may be wrong though... enjoy the celebrations!!

Rohit Talwar said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

great news!

you are right.. nothing can replace that...

but hey.. let that little girl stay there... u never know when those moments will be back..

all the best with the news!

and.. party hard!

:)

ankur said...

been through this. know exactly how u feel...
...if it makes you any happier...then i can tell you that your parents will be very proud of you today...wherever they are...far or near.

congratulations...keep walking...!

~a

Divya said...

Hi Sayehsa, I've been a silent visitor to ur blog in the last 4 months... time for me to share a moment with u here atleast now... CONGRATULATIONS!!! I like what u write... keep up the good work!!!

virdi said...

shabash mere sher errrr I mean sherni... :E

and why are you and priya planning to bash me?? maine tera kya bigada hai??

V..

soumya said...

Hi Sayesha,

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

I've been a silent reader since August...Although I've read all your posts and loved each one of them, I just couldn't get myself to comment...But this one went straight through my heart...It is exactly what I feel, you have put it so beautifully in words...

When you live together with your loved ones, you're part of each other's lives automatically without having to ask or answer any questions...When you're away, phone calls, emails and all the advancement in technology does no justice whatsoever...Parents are proud of you even with the slightest thing(which may not be so great after all) but when you really accomplish something and share it with them, the feeling they have and the expression on their faces is priceless...

Well, that's how life is, isn't it?? If its any consolation, you're not alone, there're many people sailing in the same boat...

Yeah, you're right; long distance relationships are such a pain...

Enjoy & celebrate...

Kroopa Shah (Kr00pz) said...

Congratulations :-)

Anonymous said...

Congratulations Sayesha!! That's wonderful news. I knew...our Sayesha has so much potential....she will reach the sun and the starz and all that's beyond...in her own way.

Yeah, nothing can replace our family Sayesha. It feels sad to have them away, so far away, especially in times like these.

I hope that you get to meet them soon enough. Live these moments with them as best as you can long distance...

Aur hum hain na Sayesha...
Everyone together!!! Sayesha in the center..

Smile please.....!

*CLICKKKK*

(camera shutters open and close)

:-)

Harshi said...

Ohoh..the above comment was from me, Harshi....:-)) Sorry!

Vikram said...

This calls for a party!!

I like to move it, move it
You like to move it, move it
I like to move it, move it
She like to (pause) move it

(from the animated movie - Madagascar) :D

You have to serve tequila now, no excuses :P

Rays Of Sun said...

Hey Sashy!

I know my wishes are coming in quite late, but sending a bear hug your way:0
Like I said, "Mom is a phone call away". Send in sweets home, and it will just be the same:)
Chal can I have "Sex on the beach" please:D

Leon said...

Congrats.. :-)

And damn you for reminding me of the "distance" factor.. :-(.

Vikram said...

I got the lyrics of the song. It rocks! I'm listening to it on repeat for an hour now. I can't stop laughing =))

I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT
HE LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT
SHE LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT
YOU LIKE TO, MOVE IT!

WE LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT
YOU LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT
I LIKE .. OH I DID I HAVE I DONE I? DID I DO I LIKE?
I THINK I DID I LIKE.. WE? WHAT ABOUT WE? THEY? THEY? I DID THEY.

OH I GOT IT, I GOT IT I GOT A NEW ONE I GOT A NEW ONE.. THEM?
NO NOT THEM.. DID I SAY THEM OR NOT?

THEM LIKE TO MOVE IT MOV... I'M GONNA SAY THEM

THEM LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT
WE LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT
UMM WAIT THERES GOTTA BE ANOTHER ONE WE... WE... NOPE.. OH US!
CAN WE DO US LIKE TO?

Chugs said...

congrats! :)

tcr_79 said...

Congratulations...

I used to wonder how your writing is so exemplary - now I know - you are a senior editor...

Good to know that you are pursuing a profession in which your talents would be really useful

Princesse said...

Heyyyyyyyyy Congratulations girl!!!! :) I'm very proud of your achievement, but not least bit surprised... you're a STAR!!! :)
*e-huggie*

L said...

Wow...!! Congrats Sayesha..!! And ya homesickness sucks..!! It is these moments when u feel real lonely...!!

Sayesha said...

#Croondoodle,
Thanks! :)

#Banana,
Thanks, girl! Now gotta concentrate more of my energy on you :)

#Inhas,
You do have a point, but when something big happens, you just wish this was the time you were together, hai na? :)

#Rohit,
Thanks, buddy! The li'l girl's gonna stick around. And she's gonna party hard! :)

#Ankur,
Thanks! :)

#Divya,
Welcome to Sayeshaz! And thanks! :)

#Virdi,
Thanks, praji! You are very bashable ji! :P

#Soumya,
Welcome to Sayeshaz! Thanks for putting in so much time into that thoughtful comment, babe! :)
ps: Yeah, I SO wanted to see the expression on their faces! :(

#Kroopz,
Thanks! :)

#Harshi,
Babe, I was wondering ki yeh kaun hai anonymous... sounds a bit like Harshi... and it IS you!! :P
Thanks! I really feel very fortunate to have you guys around to share my happy and sad moments... :)

#Viks,
Haha! Yeah man, come over! We'll party! You and I with tequila, Virdi with Shakeela! :D

#ROS,
Hey baby, got the hug, it was still warm! Thanks! :)

//can I have "Sex on the beach" please
Jo karna hai kar meri bachi, you don't have to ask me just because I am your soul sister! ;)

#Leon,
Thanks and dammit! :)

#Viks,
Okay, now I HAVE to listen to it! :P

#Chugs,
Thanks! :)

#TCR_79,
Exemplary writing? Wow. Thanks, am honoured! :) But actually speaking, what I write on my blog is very different from what I write at work (cartoon briefs, explanation of scientific concepts, book blurbs, etc.) And my engineering training doesn't help in my writing either! :P

My belief is that anything written dil se and written simply is always good writing :)

#Princesse,
Thanks, girl! :)

#L,
Thanks! :)
ps: Yeah, homesickness sucks! :(

Mr. Quipster said...

Congratulations!!

HoliDevil said...

Congrats

So watz the new cocktail for ths occassion @ da bar

TC

Kais said...

Congrats! :)

abhi said...

Wow.wow.wow.congrats sayesha !!!! you know i slept through a class i had to attend coz of my superlow attendance in it and then our advertising management class test results were released and I stood 21st in a class of 26 n then came back to my room to find that a cat had spilled the dustbin and then kicked open the door in frustration to look at my room and think 'man , the only thing that looks in place are the walls in here' and then i log to your blog and now I feel "man , i am happy !!".congrats :).and udaas na ho , I bet ur mom can feel her bitiya's happiness :).when hearts connect , distances do not matter.

Harshi said...

Wow, you could tell it was me from my writing!? Hahaa :-)

Sayesha said...

#Mr. Quipster,
Long time no see! Thanks! :)

#HoliDevil,
OJ, what else?? :D

#Kais,
Thanks, man! :)

#Abhi,
Thanks! :)
ps: Hope your room is in a better state now! :)

#Harshi,
Kya karein, aadat ho gayi tere presence ki Sayeshaz par, perhaps subconsciously I was looking for your comment, which also helped! :)

Ravi said...

Oh my god. That post really made me go "aww". So cute. I felt like hugging the little girl away from her family. Congrats!!

Anonymous said...

Congrats, Ms. Editor.. oops.. Senior Editor

Soon to 'come out', but still Anon911

Sayesha said...

#Ravi,
Hey, thanks for the e-hug! :)

#Anon911,
Gosh, you're still Anon?? Baahar niklo bhai sahab, we're waiting for your blog! :)

Aye Kay said...

Congrats. All the Best in your new role.

tcr_79 said...

No need to be honoured... I think your writing is very good... And the reason is you keep it simple and yet they are powerful...

You do not use gloss or good words to make your post good. You use just good and strong thoughts and convictions

The flow of thoughts show clarity and that helps...

Overall I would give an A+ - am impressed

Sayesha said...

#Aye Kay,
Thanks! :)

#TCR_79,
A+? Wow! YEAY! :D

You're right, I don't like to use too many glossy words. Mainly because I believe we don't think in seven-syllable words. Our thoughts are always very simple, and so should be their expression. Thanks for validating! :)

Harshi said...

Yeah Sash. Haan, subconsciously, woh ho jaata hai, true :-)

MeAwinner said...

Sayesha... COngrates..
Wow ! Seniour Editor.. proud on you & definitel yur parents will be.

Great you are moving on..Little girl..:)Cheer up..
You made me nostalgic too :)

love,
Maneesha

Sayesha said...

#Harshi,
:)

#Maneesha,
Thanks a ton! :)

tcr_79 said...

:)

I agree... And the greatest orators and writers have communicated using simple language

Keep it up - i will keep dropping by

Anonymous said...

Bhai-sahib ya Behen-ji .. kaun karega decide?

As-yet-undecided, Anon911

Raj said...

Congrats!!

Couldn't agree with you more. For me, a good news is incomplete unless i call up my mom n dad.

Sayesha said...

#TCR_79,
Thanks for supporting my blog :)

#Anon911,
My bad, boss! Maaf kar do bhai/behen! :P

#Raj,
Hey, thanks! :)

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