From bloggers-not-so-anonymous to MACs

Dammit. Today I wanted to blog about the very interesting case of the missing intern, but looking at the hoo-haa on Munnu's blog, I feel that this post is more called for. So at the risk of inviting more unwanted MACs to Sayeshaz, here's what I have to say.

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Dear Mean Anonymous Commentator (MAC),

Thank you for anonymously subscribing to our newsletter. Welcome to your third consecutive year in Commenting 101. We hope you will enjoy these lessons as much as we at bloggers-not-so-anonymous have enjoyed putting them together for you. And we hope you will finally graduate this year.

Before we proceed to delve deep into the subject, let us give you a refresher course on blogs, since you seem to forget it every now and then.

1. A blog is a web log. It belongs to an individual. It does not belong to you. Is that clear? Underline that. It does not belong to you.

2. If point 1 is clear, you would realise that since it does not belong to you, it belongs to someone else. Someone else, okay? Now that's a whole other person. And no, it's not you.

3. Since the blog belongs to a whole other person, that whole other person has the right to write whatever he/she wants to write on his/her blog. We know we keep harping on this, but we have to, because some of our more intellectually challenged students just don't seem to get it. If you're so keen on dictating content on a blog, get one yourself. It's easy. And free. (unlike these very expensive lessons you're having to attend).

4. We bloggers do not ask for praise. Neither do we ask you to agree with us on every point. We write because we want to write. Hell, half the time we write nonsense. And we know it. But a blog is for our thoughts. If there is nonsense in our thoughts, there will be nonsense in the blog. You cannot control it. We repeat, you cannot control our thoughts. (Hell, even we can't!)

5. You're not tied to a chair with your eyelids pinned open and the blog in front of you. You have the choice to close your eyes. You have the choice to close the window. You have the choice to shut down the computer. You have the choice to run away from the 'evil blog that insults your intelligence'.

6. Be clear about what constructive criticism is. What you are doing, is not. There are plenty of intelligent commentators here who give us constructive criticism. Learn from them.

7. Before you judge us, look at yourself. We bloggers are mere mortals with all our flaws. And we display them on our blogs. Not for you to take the high-horse attitude. If you are so perfect yourself, why don't you spread some love around, instead of spreading malice and possibly ruining someone's day? Most of us bloggers don't care about your comments, but some do, and the rest of us will stand up for those. Bloggers are people too. Treat them as you would treat people whom you talk to in person. The mask of anonymity does not give you special meanness privileges.

8. You are not forking out your hard-earned money to read anyone's blog. It's purely your own choice. So do not complain about QC.

9. We bloggers are open to criticism and disagreement, but only if it is mature and leads to an intelligent debate. Statements like "What crap!" or "You write nonsense." or "You're so pathetic." are of no use to either you or us. It may boost your ego for a while, but think of how pathetic you are if your ego is boosted by thoughts of how pathetic you think we are.

10. Think about your comment after you comment. Remember, everyone makes mistakes. Just that blogger gives you the option of going back and deleting your mistakes. Use it. Be a good guest. Don't let your host clean up after you.

11. Why do you post as anonymous? What are you scared of? Most MACs have blog accounts. Use it. Sign in and then post. Let us see you just as you see us.

12. If you do not have a blog account, get one and walk a mile in our shoes. Think of how sad it is that you are criticising someone's online thoughts, when you don't have any yourself.

13. Trust us when we say that none of us bloggers wants to block anonymous comments, many of which are incredibly insightful. Some of them are our friends and we respect their right to not have a blog in order to comment on our blogs. Just as we have the right to put ourselves on blogger, they have the right not to. So do not let your deeds give a bad name to all non-bloggers.

14. Face it. Most of the time you post mean anonymous comments due to a personal grudge. The same post by a friend of yours triggers a "Haha, you're crazy, man!" comment from you, but if someone you dislike writes it, your comment magically transforms to "How much crap do you write? I'm disgusted at your blog." Personal grudges are not good for your well-being. Get rid of them. (This, coming from us, who don't even care so much about your well-being!)

15. Do not make it your duty to do internet policing and criticising content on the net that is not upto your 'high' standards. Think about how much value your juvenile comments are adding to the 'high-standard' stuff.

That's all for the day. Because we fear it may be too much knowledge for you to digest. We hope this lesson has been enlightening for you in some way.

We know you may not change your ways just by reading this.

But maybe you will. Who knows.

Yours truly,
Sayesha
On behalf of
Bloggers-not-so-anonymous