Laugh lines

A long long time ago, I blogged about things that sound right in my head but don't seem to make much sense when said out loud.

Lately, I've been compiling (in my head) things that probably sounded right in other people's heads but made me laugh hysterically when they were uttered. And they have kinda stayed with me to make me laugh every time I remember them. Here are some of the gems:

My little cousin when he had gajar ka halwa for the first time:
"Isme toh sirf gajar hi gajar hai! Halwa kahan hai??"
("This only has carrot! Where is the halwa??")


A friend when he saw me wearing these bangles:
"Bahut gusse mein thi kya, Sayesha?"
("Were you very angry, Sayesha?")



My Dad when he heard music on earphones for the first time:
(Pointing to his forehead): "Hey, the earphones are in my ears but how come the music is here??"

Friend in uni who had a Govinda-type dress sense:
"Whats wrong with a pink shirt, green pants and grey shoes?"

My friend when I was playing some instrumental Bollywood numbers on my computer:
"Why are you playing Indian restaurant music?"

Classmate in uni looking up at the sky after a nightout:
"Look! The moon is over... "

My classmate about a very good-looking lecturer:
"I think he thinks I think he's gay..."

My friend suddenly peering at my face while we're on the train:
"You don't look as cheerful when you're not wearing earrings..."

Mom when I was teaching her to use the computer and asked her to try:
"What if it explodes?"

Dad over the phone about how some virus got to his email:
"I could not email you last week because the IT guy said there are some worms in my inbox. He is trying to take them out."

My cousin when I asked him when he's getting married:
"I'm not sure. Sid (another cousin, younger than me) said it should be this year but he may have been talking about himself."

Mom when she saw a cricketer do the spit-on-ball action:
"Chhee chhee! Why can't the umpire hold a small katori with water for these guys to use??"

Mom during yet another cricket match:
"Why can't they give the umpire a stool to sit on? Poor guy must be so tired standing there in the sun all day!"

Friend to a very surprised me just as I stepped out of the toilet of his house (while a cricket match was going on):
"Andar ja waapas! Aur wahin reh! Match khatam hone tak baahar mat nikal! Tu andar rehti hai toh Laxman chauka maarta hai!"
("Go back in and stay there! Don't come out till the match is over! When you're in there, Laxman hits fours!")

Dad while watching a cricket match with me:
"What does he mean 'no ball'?? There is a ball! I can see it!"