Wednesday, August 15, 2018

Flight of fancy

Xena wanders into my room, holding her bowl of pasta that she's been struggling with for about 45 minutes. I'm taking a break from my work, so she eyes my work chair, places her bowl on it, rolls it over, places a regular chair in front of it and sits down. I'm ironing shirts.

Xena - Mama, look! I'm sitting in an airplane, eating my airplane food.

(Ouch. That's a below-the-belt blow to my cooking.)

Me (*in full parent mode*) - Oh really? But why aren't you belted up?

Xena (quickly grabs a pillow from my bed and places it across her chest) - Now I am belted up!

Me - Good.

Xena - Mama, you're the captain of the plane.

Me - Hmmm... And why is the captain of your plane standing up and ironing clothes inside the plane?

Xena (thinks) - No, Mama, the buttons on the shirt you're ironing are the buttons to fly the plane!

Me - Ah ok ok.

Xena (watches me turn the shirt over) - And when you turn it over, the plane changes in direction.

Me - Nice.

Me (watching her take her time with her lunch) - Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. As we are going through some turbulence, you need to quickly finish eating your lunch.

Xena (giggles and takes a bite) - Oh, I like the announcement. Can I announce too?

Me - Ok. What are you going to announce?

Xena - Captain of the plane, this is your passenger speaking. There is a lost diplodocus on this flight. Please help to find it.

Me - But how can a diplodocus fit into a plane?

Xena - It's a tiiiiny diplodocus.

Me - Ok. Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. I have been informed that there is a lost diplodocus on this flight. If you spot it, please inform a flight attendant.

Xena (rings the 'bell' and looks at me) - *RINGGGG*

Me - Wait. I'm the pilot AND the flight attendant?

Xena - Yes.

Me - Ok. Hello, ma'am. You rang the bell? Did you happen to spot the lost diplodocus by any chance?

Xena - I *am* the lost diplodocus!

Me - Oh, you are?

Xena - Yes.

Me - Ok, let me go inform the captain.

Xena - Ok.

Me - Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. I have been informed that the diplodocus has been found. Does anyone know how it got into my flight in the first place?

Xena - The captain forgot that she had brought along her own pet diplodocus.

Me - Oh, I have a pet diplodocus now? And that's you?

Xena - Yes.

Me - And why are you on this flight?

Xena - To help you.

Me - Help me? What can you do to help me?

Xena - I can change into a dog!

Me - You can change into a dog?

Xena - Yes. Woof!

Me - You're a dog now? And why are you in the flight?

Xena - To find dangerous things in the flight.

Me - Like what?

Xena (points at her towel hanging over a chair) - Like that.

Me - That is a dangerous object?

Xena - Yes.

Me - It's a towel.

Xena - Oh yes, I forgot that it's my own towel.

Me - Hmmm... this dog and its owner don't have very good memory now, do they? One forgets she brought along her pet diplodocus to work and the other thinks its own items are dangerous objects.

Xena - Hehehe yeah...

Me - Ok, so what else does this dog do?

Xena - The dog has ice powers and it can make a person who is feeling hot feel cooler, and it can sniff very well and also hear all the bad guys' plans.

Me - But how will it tell anyone about the plans? It's a dog.

Xena - It can talk a bit. Like woof woof hello woof woof!