Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Sayesha Bhai B.Engg

OMG I have lost it.

I have completely lost the ability to pull off a civilised conversation for ten minutes.

My mamaji called yesterday. Now this is the mamaji who was the only one to protest against me taking up the scholarship to come and study in Singapore. I think he thought I would lose my culture and tradition and values and become one of those "bigdi hui NRI chicks" that no one wants as their bahu. I'm actually a bit scared of him, and would like him to believe that I may have changed in certain ways, but I'm still the sweet little girl he knew. Sometimes, I am so eager to make a good impression, it backfires. Take this for example.

His first question, as usual, was "So what's the time there now?"

Only I know how I resisted the urge to say, "Subah ho gayi, mamu!"

Anyway, he told me that his friend's son has received an interview call for a scholarship to study computer engineering here. Mamaji had given his friend my phone number and email address and told them that they could call me with queries.

"Not again!" I was horrified.

Now don't get me wrong here. I don't have a problem with helping people. I only have a problem when I get one of those emails or phone calls asking me how the engineering course here is. I can't tell the truth and I can't lie.

I feel like I am not qualified to answer the question. I have no idea what I learnt in my engineering course. I was never really interested in what I was doing in the course (don't tell my folks, okay?). I made a lot of friends, including seniors and juniors, did tons of ECAs, watched lots of movies and sitcoms. But other than that, if you ask me what I learnt in uni, my mind is a complete blank. My heart was never in engineering. It was always in writing. So after getting my degree, I worked as an engineer for exactly three months, just enough for me to get my Singapore IC. As soon as I got the card, I jumped into children's book publishing, and have stayed there since. My Dad still harbours hopes that maybe some day I will return to engineering.

This afternoon, when Mamaji's friend called, I was in deep deep trouble. Remember the episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S in which Ross got really nervous before a lecture and when he started speaking, this weird fake accent came out and he couldn't get rid of it? The exact same thing happened to me when I got the call. It's been so long since I spoke formally with anyone in my own language, that suddenly outta nowhere, all I could think of as I answered his questions was tapori lingo, which caught my tongue and would not let go.

What made it worse was that I had never heard a guy more polite than him. He was referring to me as 'aap'. Sheesh. So I was actually having two parallel conversations at the same time. Tapori Sayesha was speaking in my head, while dignified Sayesha was answering his questions out loud. One miss and I'd be in trouble. With Mamaji, that too! :O

In other words, waat lag gayi apun ki.

(I won't translate the tapori bits... cos that'd be like dubbing Munnabhai MBBS in English. Utterly bleah.)

Uncle - Hello, is this Sayesha?

Tapori Sayesha - Arre yaar! Apun ka number ghumaya toh apun hi uthayega na? Kya re Uncle, aap bhi...

Dignified Sayesha - Yes, this is Sayesha.

Uncle - I'm Mr XYZ. Your mamaji gave me your number and told me that you would be able to help my son with his questions.

Tapori Sayesha - Ab Mamaji bhi na... aise hi sabko apun ka number shumber de dete hain... police ka koi locha hua na... apun toh jayega na saal do saal ke liye andar? Khair laga hi diya hai toh batao... kisko tapkane ka hai?

Dignified Sayesha - Yes, yes, mamaji told me you'd be calling.

Uncle - Actually my son wants to study engineering in Singapore... and I thought you could help out...

Tapori Sayesha - Kya yaar Uncle, chhokre ko zabardasti engineer banakar hi dum loge? Dharti ka bojh halka karo... akha duniya mein kitna hindustani engineers hain, maloom hain? Truck bhar bhar ke aate hain... Pehle poocho chhokre ko, usko banna hai engineer?? Ya aiseich bol raha hai, aapka dhamki se darke... ya wohi sare friends engineer ban rahe hain... toh tum bhi kood pado... poochha hai usko? Usko cirketer banna mangta hoga, F1 racer banna mangta hoga, Indian idol banna mangta hoga... poochha hai kabhi?

Dignified Sayesha - Sure, no problem.

Uncle - He has received the scholarship interview letter... you know... the same scholarship that you went to Singapore on...

Tapori Sayesha - Apun ko apun ki hi Ramayan mat sunao Uncle, junior ko phone do.

Dignified Sayesha - Yes...

Uncle - So I wanted to ask you... is it a good course?

Tapori Sayesha - Poochh diya na wohi tedha sawaal? Riks (sic) nahin lega apun! Ab kya bolega apun... aaj toh apun ka bad luck hi kharaab hai lagta hai...

Dignified Sayesha - Which course has he got the scholarship for?

Uncle - Computer engineering.

Tapori Sayesha - Apun ka field nahin re... apun ko kuchh maloom nai course kaisa hai... achha hi hoenga... sab nerdy nerdy logon ko dekha hai niklate hue... peti-peti kama rahe hain saare! Toh jhakkaas hi hoenga! Apun ko mat poochho. Apun toh thaan liya... bhookha marega lekin engineering mein waapas nahin jayega.

Dignified Sayesha - Ohh... computer engineering? Well, I don't know much about it... cos I'm from Electronics... the two courses are very different from each other...

Uncle - Hmmm.... but what is your general impression?

Tapori Sayesha - Impression? Aap ka sawaal sunke apun ko depression ho raha hai. Ab kya boley apun... Aap bhi na Uncle... chhokre ko yeh bada computer-shomputer kaiku khareedke diya? Maaloom bhi hai raat ko kya kya karta hai yeh computer par? Junior ko bolo ki computer ka kuchh shareefon wala use karey... university ke website par jaane ka... apun dega url... boley toh link hai... course ke baare mein padhne ka... achha laga toh plane mein baithne ka... warna apun ka desh mein options kam hain kya? Jaake baithe IIT mein... kyun, sahi bola na?

Dignified Sayesha - Uncle, I can give you the url of the university, he can check up more details about the course...

Uncle - They say it's a full scholarship... does it mean that I do not have to pay anything? Is the scholarship enough?

Tapori Sayesha - Apun toh araam se heroine ka mafik raha uni mein chaar saal, fokat ka kamai ka khana khaya, har saal India jaake pani puri khane ka paisa bhi usi mein se aaya... lekin aapka chhokra kaisa hai yeh toh aap hi jaano na... Woh toh aapka chhokra par depend karta hai na... daru bazi karenga toh ghar kaisa jayenga... waise agar usko pura nahin padenga, toh tension nahin lene ka... apun dega na achhe se usko... kharcha pani!

Dignified Sayesha - Uncle, the scholarship will cover his university tuition fees and his hostel fees. Plus, there's a monthly stipend. It will comfortably cover everything, including two trips home every year.

Uncle - Can you talk to him for a while?

Tapori Sayesha - Sab interrogation toh aap kar hi liya... ab third degree bhi kar hi lo... chalo de do bache ko phone...

Dignified Sayesha - Sure, no problem.

Kid - Hi... What will they ask in the interview?

Tapori Sayesha - Osama kahan chhupela hai, yeh poochenge. Arre dhakkan, apun ko kya maloom kya poochenge? Apun ka interview toh aath saal paile tha na... ab wohi cheez thode poochhenge same-to-same... market badal gaya hai, duniya badal gayi hai... supari ka rate kitna badh gaya hai bhidu... aath saal purana baat toh yaad bhi nahin rehta... kya?

Dignified Sayesha - They may ask blah blah... and I think you could read up on blah too... and oh, they lay a lot of stress on blah as well...

Kid - Okay. Thanks.

Tapori Sayesha - Oye shyaane! Thanks baad mein. Char peti pahuncha dena aaj shaam saat baje tak. Abhi tu patli gali se nikal le aur babuji ko phone de.

Dignfied Sayesha - No problems.

Kid passes phone back to Uncle.

Uncle - Sayesha, thanks for your help. I will let you know what happens.. if he gets through, you will take care of him na?

Tapori Sayesha - Aap toh apun ko ekdum hila ke rakh diya re! Chain se apun kholi mein baithela tha aath saal... koi rishtedaar nahin akkha Singapore mein... jo chaha kiya, jo chaha pehna... kabhi koi nahin tha reporting karne ko... khali-peeli apun se yeh big-sister type kaam karwayega?

Aur yeh aapka chikna kis type ka khajoor hai, yeh bhi maloom nahin... danga ya panga karega toh bail ka paisa kaun bharega? Yeh Singaapurr hai Uncle... akhi Mumbai nahin hai ki table ke neeche se note pakdaya aur chhokra baahar... idhar aisa hai na... ki ek baar jo andar gaya, woh bhot time ke liye baahar nahin nikalta... apun kaise guarantee lega batao... apun ko bhi rehna hai ki nahin is shaher mein...

Upar se aapka beta edjusting type hai ki nahin pata nahin... fail-wail nahin hoga na? Aur yahan ka keeda makoda kha payega kya? Ghar par zyada laad pyaar kiya kya, ya kabhi ghumaake do haath gaal par bhi jamaya? Yahan uski waat lagi toh? Chhe saal ka bond hai, bond khatam kiye bina do din mein kalti maarega toh apun kya karega batao?

Phir bhi... tension nahin lene ka... apun hai na... aap apun ka mamaji ka friend hai.. madad karna toh apun ka farz banta hai... hafta bhi aapko pura nahin dena hoga... apun dega na discount... bas Mamaji ko bolna ki unki bhaanji bahut susheel aur sanskari type ki hai... kya? Lekin ek baat warn karta hai apun - yeda logon ki tarah over-acting nahin karne ka... woh kya hai na ki zaroorat se zyada susheel aur sanskari bolega toh woh chhokra logon ka line lagega... boley toh... shaadi ke waaste... pan abhi apun ko settle nahin hone ka... kya?


Dignified Sayesha - Sure, Uncle. Not to worry. And oh, you can call me again if you have anything else to ask.

Tapori Sayesha to dignified Sayesha - Aye item, tere ko woh last wala line bolna bhot zaroori tha kya?



91 comments:

freebird said...

OMG...GOLD AGAIN!!!!
seems like this's my lucky week :-)

freebird said...

Or is it tht i've been net surfing a li'l too much? :D...By the way, this happens to be my study holz. Ahem!

Hari said...

Wow!!! Bronze!!!

Ajay said...

:) nice.. real nice..

now c i dint know that u did
ur comp eng. ..in singapore

n u dint like it... haaaa.!!
(thats an exclamaztion of awe !!)

i loved the munnai bhai thingg..
its like an all time fav..
n i simply adore the accent..!!

its how the americans love the british..only more

:) if ye know tamilianz.
i normally jump to gowndamani
or vivek in my head at times

and a smile trickles to my mouth
for no good reason..

if only I cud do an anniyan for real..

Shekhar said...

Ha ha ha.

Ho ho ho.

Bahut mazaa aaya. You should seriously consider getting in touch with Vidhu Vinod Chopra and his team to become the dialogue writer for the next Munna Bhai movie.

The Girl Who Sold The World said...

bhookha marega lekin engineering mein waapas nahin jayega.
Maine bhi yehi dialogue maara tha apni Mom ko. It's a nice one-liner for engineering-is-the-best-field type "leechy" parents.
And how many times did you watch Munnabhai MBBS?

Full2 Faltu said...

Bole toh! Ekdum mast likha hai. Saala Mumbai ki yaad aa gayi. aankhn main aansoo aa gayela hai. Dukh nahi re! yeh toh has has ke aansoo aa gaya hai.

Jyada senti nahi hone ka. Seat par khada rehke sithi marta tha lekin apun jara sharif hai isliye jor se taali bajayega.

Laage raho!!!

Punds

Rays Of Sun said...

/two trips home every year//
WOW..Wish it was possible here;(
BTW, kaun bola re Mumbai mein table ke neeche note deke log pass hote hain???? Mehnat to kidhar bhi karna hi padta hai..naheeto bahar nahi padta hai:P

shub said...

bole to...jo bhi singapur ke baare mein poochega...boloongi bhai se baat karna aur usko sayesha bhai ka number doongi aaj se :p
bole to ...plan mast hai nai bheedu! :D

HOTWINTER said...

The sense of humour with which this post was composed is really a piece of "GREAT SENSE OF HUMOUR".

No one in this world could write the whole incident better than Sayesha. Im confident about it.

Sayesha works hard with her posts.

You will never find a single mistake in her style of writing. Its simply superb!

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

lol..one day your sub conscious will betray you, and fir dekhenge tamasha!

p.s: sayesha, i just love it when you talk in tapori style.
:D

Sudeep said...

ur mind runs tapori mode faster than u can speak in English :)

engg SUCKS!!! :)

Sowmya said...

Guess every Engg student has to answer such questions some time or the other! I go through this ritual every summer...

Sigh! CET results are out and Sowmya's now a counsellor!!! LOL!

-Sowmya

p.s:Used the 'other' option :D Not that you werent able to see it :))

dharmu said...

sayesha bhai, ek dhum jhakas post likhelaha tumne. ek dum rapchik!
padke apun ka bheja 420 volt mein disco karela hai.

kya kamal ki item ho tum uh ? akka blog world mein tere jaisa bindas tapori apun ne aaj tak nahi dekha. aisech likhna, apun ko padne mein bohut maza aata hai!

yeh amrica mein, saane log angreji men pakkake demag ka dahi banathe hain. dhung ka baat karneko aapke jaisa sharif bandha nahi milta.
maza aaya apka baat sunke. tapori sayesha zindabad!!

coldair said...

I kinda stumbled upon this blog. hilarious to say the least

Ajay said...

:) oops..
so u aint computers..

its electronics

now the whole world makes sense !!

I ended up doing the
thing the other blogger mentioned..
u know..
read the first few lines..
n think i got the whole thing..

but am really thinkn
wud manna bhai even say the word
"sanskari"
aint it a lil too polish fer him !!

but yeh sayesha maam mite

so shalt rest in peace
and digg thy grave !!

Sayesha said...

#Freebird,
Enjoy your hols! :D

#Prasad,
:)

#Ajay,
Not comp engg, elec. :)

#Shekhar,
Arre part 2 toh release hone wala hai... part three ke liye try karenge... tab tak 'The Shekhar at number 420' hai na? ;)

#World Girl,
Sheesh! I can never maro that line on my parents! :P

#Full2 Faltu,
Yahan bar mein emotional nahin hone ka, kya? Emotional hoke aaj tak kisi ka kuchh nahin hua re... dekh ab tu bhai ko emotional kar raha hai... :)

#ROS,
Oye!! Bhai ke mouth mein words putting nahin karne ka... baja dalegi! I said table ke neeche se note deke andar se baahar aane ka... bole toh jail se... yeh exam ka baat kaun kiya?
ps: Oye pakiya, nazar rakh is chhokri par... apun ko pulis ka aadmi lagta hai! :/

#Shub,
Bhai-giri type questions hain toh apun dega answer mast... engineering ke baare mein kuchh nahin poochhne ka ok? :D

#Hotwinter,
Errr.. thanks? :O

#Ipanemna,
Apun ka 'sub-conscious' jaagne se paile apun tere ko 'unconscious' kar dega, kya? Bhai ke saamne zubaan kholta hai? :/

#Suddep,
Bhai khush hua. Chal aaj hi join kar le apun ka gang. :D

#Sowmya,
Heheheh... good luck man! :D
ps: Welcome to Sayeshaz! ;)

#Dharmu,
Arre Dharmu, kaisa hai re... wahan America mein baja raha hai na sabki... apun ka training khali nahin jata... kya? ;)

#Coldair,
Welcome to Sayeshaz! Thanks :)

#Ajay,
Kya hai na... apun ka Mummy Papa bhot sanskari type hai.. toh apun ko kuchh shareef words ghotna padta hai.. jab woh log idhar aata hai na, apun log adde ko bilkul engineer ka office bana deta hai, toh apun waise hi sanskari type baat karta hai... tabhi... ghusi bheje mein baat? ;)

Duhita said...

Filmy....so very filmy! But entertaining no doubt;)

viv said...

Hahaha... very funny :) You pass the tapori language test with flying colours :D

Sumit Tada said...

I had been silent reader for past many days, but cunt stop commenting on this post.......too good to say the least!!!
And ya i also so totally beleive that you are doing much better job in writing that what u wud have done in engg....hai naa??
But many times I think how being in "normal" can be uncomfortable for you......now whats the fault of "true engg" that parents of all kids who neva wanna be engg are forcing them to take up engg?? In fact my dad always wanted me to be an IAS officer, but right from the time I was first asked in school "what do u wanna be when grow up" my answer has always been "ENGINEER".....
And this also reminds me how most of the times ppl think its uncool to giv the obivious answer..
For eg when some one asks me "aur bhai kya haal hai"...most of the time I say "bahuuuut badhiya" and usually the other person looks a bit amazed....and secondly whenever anybody asks me "engg ke baad kya plan hai" my flat answer is "JOB"...and the usual reply is "What!!! no GRE??? no MBA??? seedha job???".....okey I know its good to aim high and do what u want and not to be too satisfied with urself....but what if an engg job is all that i wanna do?? and what if i dont have any reason to bitch about the whole world??
I dunno why I am saying all this here and naa i LOVE ALL UR POSTS but I thot i can speak whats in my mind at Sayeshaz....isnt it??
And BTW...whenever someone asks me abt IIT-JEE/AIEEE or engg...me also think on lines of "why do u wanna become engg, why not cricketer...why not F1 racer...but if u really want it, then be my guest...otherwise i know u r gonna suck at it anyways...." :)

Utham said...

aap ko thoo bollywood mein try karna tha!

really amaaaaazing post

regards
Utham

renegade said...

that was hilarious!

satish said...

toh.. ush bachche ko aapki ish blog ka bhi URL milna chahiye. ushe bhi toh pata chale ki four years of ur stay at singapur has done wonders to you.

aur yeh kya.. IITs ko toh aapne bus ek trivial shi cheeze banaa di. waise woh yahan bhi aaya toh desh kaa paisa hee barbaad karega.

anyways brilliant piece of writing. i'd soon be taking 'writing classes' from you, padayengi naa??

Anil said...

hilarious!! I was reading this in the office and in my head you were talking with a cocky look like Aamir in Rangeela... apun aaj se tere ko tapori bulayega..

naari said...

Impressive tapori language. You will fit right in when you visit aamchi Mumbai next ;)You are very flurnt. At this rate, you will start taking language classes for this :P

Venky said...

argggghhhh u beat me to it...just yesterday i was thinking of writing a post abt Joking Venky vs Serious Venky (this is the serious venky speaking)..but anyways gud that u beat me to it, I wud not have been able to do justice to it the way u did :).. rock on!!!

iyer education said...

bole to subeh subeh ye post padha aur apun to fulltoo hogayela hai sayesha bhai... tumhara bhaigiri ka apun pankha ban gayela hai... ekdam raapchaandooos post hai baap...

abhi bas ekich koshtiin hai apunko... kya tera mama aur ye baap bete dono bloggin karte hai kya? nahi... bole to agar galti se bhi padh liya naa to tere dignified twin ko bahut problem ho sakta hai? but jab tak tu hai tab tak koi tension nahi hai baap...

chal abhi bahut pakaya... abhi apun kalti

Sayesha said...

#Duhita,
:D

#Viv,
Thanks! :P

#Sumit,
//what if an engg job is all that i wanna do?? and what if i dont have any reason to bitch about the whole world??

I never said that everyone who is an engineer did it unwillingly. I never said that one must always have something to bitch about. All I said was that there are a lot of engineers who dunno why they became engineers in the first place. You're on the blog of one of them right now. :D

//when some one asks me "aur bhai kya haal hai"...most of the time I say "bahuuuut badhiya" and usually the other person looks a bit amazed....

Can totally identify with this :)

#Utham,
Thanks thanks! :)
Bollywood kya join karna, apun khud hi Bollywood hai re! :D

#Renegade,
Wow, you read the whole thing? ;)
Thanks! :)

#Satish,
//ushe bhi toh pata chale ki four years of ur stay at singapur has done wonders to you.

8 years re :)

//IITs ko toh aapne bus ek trivial shi cheeze banaa di.

Nahin re... I meant ki India mein options kam hain kya? Singapore mein nahin toh IIT mein sahi :)

//i'd soon be taking 'writing classes' from you, padayengi naa??

Hafta dega? :D

#Anil,
Hahahahaha! :D I hope I'm wearing better clothes than Aamir. How about my disguise-wala halter neck red dress? ;)

#Naari,
Haha! Thanks re... apun ko koi language class lene ka zaroorat nahin... apun aise hi ustad hai! :D

#Venky,
Bhai ki barabari?? Gustakh! Koi le ke jao re isko yahan se... apun ka dimaag satak gaya toh khoon kharaba ho jayega!

#Iyer-padhai-likhai,
//bole to agar galti se bhi padh liya naa to tere dignified twin ko bahut problem ho sakta hai?

Kyun re? Bhai ko darata hai??? Tu Bhai ko darata hai??? Padhenge toh padhenge! Bhai kisi se darta hai kya??

*gulp* :o

Aditya said...

excellent post.

Aditya said...

you should try script writing in bollywood.

The Smiling Girl said...

Arey waah.. kya mast post likha bhai aapne... Bhai, tussi great ho bhai.. :)
Uff.. cant try any more of the tapori style Hindi.. Yeah, I know I spoke little Punjabi also here..:)
So message to clear hain na bhai aapko?:)

-Preethi.

Bhaarat said...

Kya shyani... tere dimaag ka kya hogayela hai. Tu bhi naa... khaali pili last ka line bol daalaa. Aisa line bolne se pehle sochneko maangta naa.. Abhi bola to bola... Tension nahin lene kaa.. Tension dene kaa.. Abhi woh chikna phir se ghanti bajaya to usko kopche mein leke kharcha pani dene kaa. Bolne kaa yeh computer wimputer kya kar rae la hai.. Mast jeene ka hai to blogging shogging kar.. bole to ekdum jhakaas life hai..

Aaaj apun ko tera degree-wigree ka sunke bahut senti hua. Sun-neka tha naa mamu ka baat. Wo tereko pehle-ich bola tha nahin jaane kaa. Apun kya hai pehleich samajh gaya tha engg-wingg mein apun ka kuch nahin hone wala. Apun kya hai ki gate se hi kalti khaya aur di-irect istall laga diya. Abhi apun bole to khoka leta hai aur apun ka ded shyana dost log peti pe atak gayele hai. Kabhi Mumbai mein kisi ko tapkane ka hoe to bolne ka. Apun akhaa mumbai kaa kone kone mein tension deta hai. chal abhi apun chalta hai. aaj 3 log ko tapkane ka supari liya hai.

Ankit Gupta said...

This is my first visit to ur blogs and i must say that this was absolutely hilarious... i will now hav to go thru all ur blogs to make sure that i havn't missed another masterpiece...

shub said...

"Riks (sic)" taht was so cute :D (missed it the firsttime! :P)

Disha said...

Hi Sayesha,
I have been your secret admirer from a long time. Each of your post is delightful & a surprise in itself.I loves your “fearlessly expressing your thoughts” spirit, I have never been able to do that. This post is just marvelous & your tapori language is really good.
Keep writing such good posts.

Enlighten the world……

Regards,
Disha
P.S.:Tum bole toh jhakaas hai, Bhidu!

iyer education said...

bhai lagta hai aapko galti se mishtake ho gayela hai... aap ka ko koi kuch nahi ukhaad sakta hai... woh aapka dignified twin hai naa, uski jaan khatre mein aa sakti hai bola apun... abhi isse pehle ki tum raampuri nikaal ke mera kachumbar bana de, apun jaa rela hai...

magar apun wapas aayega tere galli mein...

Anonymous said...

@sumit tada..felt good readin ur msg..arre zyada duniya ke bare main sochne ka nahi..wohich bolneka aur karneka jo khud ko acha lagta..sayesha bhai mafik..aur humesha bahut badiya rahneka:-)

Sudeep said...

me.. nah
m gud here shooting spam mails rather than shooting gun :)

fao san said...

heh! totally enjoyed that one. supah post to come back to after a long time.

nevermind said...

oi, this happens with my relatives all the time, tho' our lingos may be slightly different.

U.S. Cousin(about twentysomething engineer daughter): She wants to study opera!! She wants to move into her own flat! Gasp!! What do I dooooo....

Real nevermind: Fantastic! Bully for her! Jes let'er f...in study bloody opera! Hope she has loads of boyfriends and loads of sex! And sheeesh woman, grow up n' let her be, will u?

Dignified nevermind: Ermmmm, ummm, so what are your thoughts?

Unbelievable.

satish said...

aap hafta, mahina, saal poora hee le lo ;), par aapke ish bhakt kaa kalyan kar do bus. jay(not J) maa sayesha!

Raam Pyari said...

bahin!!!!!!
pata hai kya!!!
humane bhi NTU waala eggjam diya tha..maxxx saal pehle....
but fir interviwe waala locha phas gaya tha...
toh fir hum yehi apane des mein hain!!!!
nahi donoh bahinz ek hi des mein mein hoti..
waah!waah!
kya nek khyaal hai!

Richa said...

:-) That was an absolute riot.

Sayesha said...

#Aditya,
Welcome to Sayeshaz and thanks! :)

#Preethi,
Hahahaha! You're like a cute little disoriented punjabi Bhai! :D

#Bhaarat,
Sahi bola re... tu udhar Mumbai sambhal, yahan apun Singapore sambhalega... baahar se business karne se safety zyada hai, kya? Baki rokda ka ghotala kiya toh chhil jayega! :@

#Ankit,
Welcome to Sayeshaz! Good luck with all the old posts! :P

#Shub,
:P

#Disha,
Welcome to Sayeshaz! Ab toh secret nahin na? :) Thanks for commenting :)

#Iyer shiksha,
Theek hai theek hai... apun ka khadoos twin hafta dene se inkaar karta hai... kehta hai galat hai, gundagardi hai... bheja satkela hai uska... lekin hai toh apun ka twin na... uska protection karna mangta... teri zimmedari! Chalega? :|

#Anonymous,
Sahi bola re! Duniya ko oil-purchase ke liye bhejne ka, aur pakoda banake khaane ka, hai ki nahin? :D

#Sudeep,
Kya re? Bhai se darr gaya kya?
Sadde naal rahoge toh aish karoge
Duniya bhar se hafta leke cash karoge!
Samjhe? :D

#Fao San,
You won't believe it, I had a nightm... I mean dream... about you recently! :P Bahut lambi umar hai teri lagta hai... kuchh karna padega! Muahahaha! :D

#Nevermind,
Baap re! Tu toh apun se do kadam aage nikla... sara sanskaar hi nikal diya re... :O

#Satish,
Apun tere ko shaadi ka pundit dikhta hai, kalyan kar do! Tamil nahin maloom? Kalyan matlab shaadi... bole toh... settle hona... Bhai kisi ko settle nahin karta, sabko unsettle karta hai. Samjha? :/

#Raam Pyari,
Indian government ka haath tha re usme... bole toh... tu shareef type hai toh tujhko India mein hi rakha... apun ko zabardasti ka scholarship thamaakar tadipaar kar diya! :/

#Richa,
Welcome to Sayeshaz! :) Thanks for commenting :)

Prayank said...

as usual .. awesome post ...

reminds me of 'waisa bhi hota hai part II'

Purush said...

Total dhaamal post! Burst out laughing quite a few times in the office when I read it!! Boss ka metaphorical tapli milla!!
U shud try writing "Andaz Apna Apna - Part II"!

lazy leo said...

lagta hai apun late ho gaya.... bolna tha kya mast item likhela hai...ek-dum first class....par lagta hai akkha blogworld yeh baat pehleich bol dala... koi baat nahi shyaane.... aiseich likhte raho.... akkha singapore mein world-famous ho jao

satish said...

sachchhi mein, mere pass aur kuch nahin hai kya karne ko?? (uhh, how wud you know? ;)) bhai.. bole toh unsettle karne ke liye settle hona bhi jaroori hai..toh kya bolte hain bhai, kar hee doh hamein settle.

i am fed up watching sitcoms and movies. write a new entry pleeze.

Hari said...

:( How I wish I understood Hindi!! Well,Sayesha, This is Hari here. The same guy who claimed the bronze( which was actually a silver!) earlier in the comments column! Err.. I had changed my display name to Hari after that(!).I have been a regular reader of your blog for a few months and Girl!! Your write ups are wonderful( "Girl!! You rock!!!" sounds too cliched isn't it?!) So whenever my boss gives me a job that sucks and I feel too bored with it, I just enter the bar!! :D
I have always wondered at your ability to come up with posts at such regularity!! (Your dad was a writer right?)
Engineering is boring for me too :(
I usually would love to comment on your blogs, but the mad rush keeps me away!! Anyways, I felt like commenting today.Ok then, keep going!

Abhishek Upadhyay said...

hehe,
ekdum jhakaas post hai.Apun ka toh bheja hich ghoom gaya.Uncle ko ekdum barabar answering kiya.I am wondering agar real sayesha(Tapori) reply karti toh Uncle ke bheje ka seedha post mortem ho jaata.
Arre Sayesha Bhai tu bhi apun ki categarry ki nikli.Apun bhi Mekanical enginear hai par day 1 se Finance mein kaam kar raha.Bapu bol bol ke thak gaya ki engineer ka kaam kar...par apun kyon sunega.:D

sayesha ke mamaji said...

arey...kya bolri tu ...mera majak udati...mere dost ka bhi.... ab to bikul mai tere ko mere ghar ki bahu nai banaunga .....

%&%%*&**&^ hat

Nandya said...

ha ha...hilarious...

tumhein hi dekh dil ghabrata hai...

u are my SAKI...referring to ur earlier bartender role....that fits quite well

Sayesha said...

#Prayank,
Thanks :)
ps: Can't remember what WBHH II was all about! :O

#Purush,
Thanks! :P
AAA did not have so much tapori language... I wanna write MunnaBhai III :D

#Lazy Leo,
Akha din lukhagiri karega toh late nahin hoga! Saat sau ghadi smuggle karke laya, phir bhi late? Usme se ek apne nahin nahin dhaap liya kya?? Offo sab sikhana padta hai! :/

#Satish,
Hahahaha! Chhokri dhoond ke la... apun interview lega phir decide karega tu uske saath settle ho payenga ki nahin! Masoom ladki ki zindagi ka sawaal hai na! ;)

#Hari,
Welcome to Sayeshaz! Glad you like my bar! :)

Oh dear! I wish you understood Hindi too! Such a pity you dunno what's going on here! :( Especially cos this has become one of my fav posts, mainly because of all the taporigiri in the comment space! :P

My Dad's a banker, not a writer :P

#Abhishek,
Arre tu toh apni hi party mein hai! Shabash! Aiseich naam roshan kar! Finance mein rahega toh apun ka kaam dhanda bhi thoda finance karne ka, kya? :D

#Nakli Mamaji,
Oye khajoor tere ko practical joke mein ek course karna mangta! Apun ka Mama apun ko bahu kaise banayega, kya bakwaas karta hai tum??? Tera bheja theek hai?? Dr Asthana se ilaaj karao! Bhai ko gussa aa gaya toh tere sar par windows install karke crash bhi kar dega, samjha! Bada aaya Mama banne! :/

#Nandya,
//u are my SAKI

Hehehe... this morning I was listening to that song :P

Woh sharaabi kya sharaabi
dil mein jiske gham na ho
Lut gaya samjho sharaabi
paas jiske hum na ho...


Kyun, sahi bola na? ;)

sayesha ke mamaji (bigde hue) said...

//Apun ka Mama apun ko bahu kaise banayega

kya matbal.... kyu nahi... :-:

Sayesha said...

#Bigde nakli Mamu,
Kyun nahin it seems! :/

Tere ko toh bheje ke problem ke alawa kuchh khandani problem bhi lagta hai... apun tere par apna time waste nahin karega... :|

Duhita said...

Oooh the comments section is getting more interesting than the post itself! Seems like everybody is well versed in this tapori language. Is this a genetic hand down or an acquired skill through hard work Sayesha? :D

Sayesha said...

#Duhita,
Haha! I'm almost tempted not to post anything tonight cos the comments section for this post is so entertaining! :D

naari said...

Girl, I meant you will be teaching the language not learning it LOL!!

Sayesha said...

#Naari,
Arre tu 'taking classes' bolegi toh apun kya samjhega re? Apun jaake apun ka Rapidex English Speaking class ka teacher ka game bajane wala tha! Achha kiya jo tu time par aa gayi :O

Hari said...

Ya, Its a pity that I dont understand Hindi. By the way you dont understand Tamil (Tamil Teriyaad Dude!!) How about a deal?!
Err..How much per hour?!!!! ;D

Maverick said...

e bhidu... ekdum rapchik post ...

Sirius Black said...

Waah thakur waah
*Mood swings to mombaiyaa taporri*-- mast Chaapelii hai tu yeh post tune :D
*Mood swings back* - Yeh HAATH mujhe de de THAKUR!!!!!

Prayank said...

WBHH II was abt this female underworld don called Tai ... must watch

Jagadish said...

sayesha - Were you at NTU? When did you pass out? I was there on the scholarship too [1993: 1st batch of scholarship holders], although I didn't complete the course :)

amitken said...

...bole to ekdum zakaas :D

Sayesha said...

#Hari,
How much per hour?? Dude, if it's a give-n-take deal, what's with the money talk eh?? 'Tamil teriyaad' is not the only phrase I know, you know. Don't make me open up my 'other Tamil vocabulary list'! Muahaha! ;)

#Maverick,
Welcome to Sayeshaz! Thanks for commenting, bhidu! :)

#Sirius,
Ya allah! Underworld mein bhi workplace harrassment of female employees with pretty hands? Ab tu bhi mere haathon ke peechhe pad gaya? Apun female hai toh kya hua, Bhai toh hai! (Kar diya na confooj??) Game baja dalega tera! Inhi haathon se! :D

#Prayank,
Oye! Apun Tai nahin, Bhai hai! Ijjat se baat karne ka... kya? :D

#Jagadish,
Hey!! Aren't you the SIG Jaagadish??? I think I have heard about you! (Good things good things!) Whoa, my super senior is on my blog! What an honour! Welcome to Sayeshaz! :)

I was in the GIG batch - came to Singapore in 1998. :)

#Amitken,
Welcome to Sayeshaz! Apun ka tareef kiya, iske thanks! Tareef nahin kiya hota toh yahin dher ho jata. :D

the Monk said...

Oh, but that was fun.

Sayesha said...

#Monk,
Thanks :)

#Others,
Any more silly or malicious comments posted by 'Your mamu' or 'Sayesha ka mamu' will be promptly deleted. :/

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

>Haha! I'm almost tempted not to post anything tonight cos the comments section for this post is so entertaining! :D

I KNEWWWWWW ITTT. sab log idhar pe zara gapchup baitho re. nai to aaj ka din mein naya post dekhne ko nai milega. kya?? bohat ho gaya yeh taporigiri.

chandu said...

and specially if it is a new college as is the case with my college then u have to answer many such calls from uncles and aunties.

i think a new consultancy agency might definitely do gud considering the increasing pop and increasing colleges.


well written... :)

Hari said...

The money talk comes in coz me teaching you Tamil and you teaching me Hindi dont cancel out each other!! You got to pay me more, for Tamil aint as easy as Hindi ;) In addition I shall also teach you local Madras Tamil ( something like your tapori!) Come out with your other Tamil Vocab, lets see how well you fare!!(Err..no bad words plz!!)

Aslam said...

Good stuff.

Sayesha said...

#Ipanema Girl,
Offo! Here I was, really enjoying myself, and you had to go and ask everyone to shut up! :P

#Chandu,
Consultancy fees? Hahaha... good idea, lekin riks phir bhi bahut hai! :D

#Hari,
//You got to pay me more, for Tamil aint as easy as Hindi ;)

Damnit. Can't argue that! :P

My other vocab consists of words like 'Ni pichkaran madiri!' :D I dunno why, but I really like the phrase... maybe because it's one of the few I can remember! :P

Learning Tamil sounds interesting though... what's the fee? And what's the discount? :D

#Aslam,
Thanks yaar! :)

Shreemoyee said...

Couldn't help smile at the tapori lingo :)

Sayesha said...

#Shreemoyee,
Thanks! :) I've been laughing my ass off all day replying to tapori comments in tapori lingo! :D

Anonymous said...

omg u win the internet, that is by far the funniest thing i have ever read since the invention of the internet. my sis forwarded this to me aur kya kahe bore hote hote hue hi padna shuru kiya. lekin madam aapki tapori ek dum first class hain. after reading that all the tapori that leaked out of my head after 6 years of living in the frigid wasteland that they call canada has come back to me full force. thank you very very much.

Siddharth said...

oh PS i dont have a blogger acc so i didnt know what to sign in as, dont need another blog. but thanks yet again.

Siddharth

Sayesha said...

#Sid,
Welcome to Sayeshaz :) Glad you liked the post :)

Rebellion said...

WOW Sash!!!

That was awesome!!! You write really really well yaar.. am very impressed!!

Bole to ye tapori sayesha ekdum raapchik item hai yaar.. apun ko pasand hai :P

//"Tapori Sayesha to dignified Sayesha - Aye item, tere ko woh last wala line bolna bhot zaroori tha kya?"
That was the best.. loved it! Even I'd got the same thing in mind and I read your tapori mind's thoughts! Bole to.. apun dono ka tapori dimaag same to same ich lagta hai re :P

Take care,
Aarti :D

The Smiling Girl said...

Aur nahi to kya bhai aap bhi..
Abhi locha nakko kar aur ache bhai ke jaise roz ek post likha karo... kya bolta tu???

Yikes.. this time its sucks big time, right? I used Hyderabadi taporigiri this time...:)..

Arey bhai, aapka yeh wala post ek dum hit hain.. super duper hit hain...:) Hain na?:)

-Cute little disoriented Punjabhi Bhai - Sorry, Behna, Preethi..:)

Sayesha said...

#Aarti,
Thanks yaar! :P

#Lovely Smiles,
Hahahaha! Now you're cute little disoriented punjabi-Hyderabadi bhai! :D

Ankur said...

jhakaaas sayesha bhai,,

Swapna said...

Gosh, that was hilarious... I lost you a bit in between... :)

Apy said...

i m actually ROTFLMAO.....n my Japanese colleagues r lookin at me jus to check if i was okay

Too good...

adi said...

Ramu...bole to apna Ram Gopal Verma naya filam bana rela hain apun bhai logo par.. apun ko hero ka role diyela hain... Sanju (bole to apna handsome MUNNA BHAI MBBS) ko bhi role diyela hain... heroine khoj rela (Wo smack wala nahin..chokri wala)hain.....
Tera item pasand aya..apply kar..apun phone lagayega to le lega.

A Burlesque Of Life said...

OMG you have no idea, how much i enjoyed reading your post XD.. Im an Indian, living in Dubai, and attend an IB school, I have a few indian friends in that school, but like they are all sensible ones, I was too, Until the tapori fever caught up with me, I hang out with My other Indian friends of my old ICSE school, also in Dubai, and daily we pakao people by talking loudly in Public in the tapori accent XD

Arun said...

A tapori Hindi children's book from you will be a treat! I pre-order it now :)

Raja Swaminathan said...

Hey Sayesha, I do not even know what to say about this. It is SO AWESOME !!!

I have been reading your blog now for hours - and I just cannot get enough of it. Absolutely brilliant !

neeraj said...

awesum......
i was searching political view on net n got ur blog...
i started reading at 11.00pm n now its 12.30am
cant believe someone can be so innovative, expressive...

bole to apun ki watt lag gayi re mamu..
kal off me late ho jaunga...
But i hv become FAN of u...

amey lawande said...
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amey lawande said...
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