The guy who could not deliver

I have something to say to all you people who upload entire movies on Youtube.com.

If you're gonna upload it, I'm gonna watch it, aren't I????

:D

I am new to Youtube. And as happens when you give Sayesha new toys to play with, she has been going bonkers about it. While video hopping one day, I found a file from the movie 'Socha Na Tha' (meaning "I'd never thought of that."). I decided to watch a bit of it to see if Dharam praji's nephew can act better than his sons or not.

Oh boy.

The file had me completely hooked. So much that I dug out all 10 files of it from Youtube. Not to mention that I had to try various typos before I could get hold of all the files. Three of the files are named as 'Soucha Natha'. Sounds like a South African cricket player. Also 'shauchalaya' (Hindi word for 'toilet'), as ROS and I concurred. (Soucha natha = There was no toilet??)

Anyway, the bad quality of the files and the sound lagging behind by about 15 minutes did not deter me. I loved the movie so much that I actually watched it thrice over - that's watching 30 files. Sheesh.

So naturally the next step was to obtain the DVD so I could watch it when the sound was actually in sync with the scenes, and review it on my blog. My DVD buying rule is simple - if I can watch it 10 times, and still love it, it's time to buy the DVD!

So I thought I would go to Jade theatre this weekend, watch Gangster, and pick up the DVD of Socha Na Tha from the Bombay Talkies outlet outside the theatre. But a quick call to Jade theatre confirmed that Gangster has not yet released in Singapore, and will not for another week. Damn.

By then, my craving for the DVD had shot to epic proportions. I realised I could not bear it any more. I had to get the DVD to watch in the weekend. So I called up Bombay Talkies and asked them to deliver the DVD. I asked them to deliver it to my office before 6 pm. They said they would.

They did not.

Living in Singapore for almost 8 years has made me so used to the efficiency and organised way of doing things here, that such things make me very angry. Sometimes I feel like I'm too quick to judge India, but at other times I feel like it's high time we caught up, since the whole world is now looking at us. I feel that such bad customer service brings my country and its people a bad name. I remember the pain I had to go through when I was in India and I first applied for my passport. I had to go to Calcutta (where I was stalked on the roads for half an hour by this creep, making me swear that I would never visit the city again in my life, bringing on the wrath of many a Calcutta-lovers and Calcutta-dwellers, including my bro-in-law. Recently, Dad broke the news that his next transfer could be to Calcutta. But let's not get there. Literally or otherwise.) and stand outside government offices with rickety fans and lazy officials and load shedding and sweaty crowds for three days in a row before I could get my passport. When I compare that to the breeze that getting my Singapore IC was, I sigh and say, "Sigh. When will India and Indians get there in terms of efficiency?"

So the non-delivery of my DVD made me curse under my breath again and sigh "Sigh. When will India and Indians get there in terms of efficiency?"

As I finished work, I got a call. From some mobile number.

"Hello?"

"Hello, is that Sayesha?"

"Yes, it is. Who is this?"

"Hi, I am guy-who-could-not-deliver, calling from Bombay Talkies."

"Hi, guy-who-could-not-deliver. You could not deliver."

"Yes yes, I could not deliver."

"Well, I wanted the DVD before the weekend started. Guess I'm not getting it. So can you deliver it on Monday?"

"Oh, have you left your office?" He asked.

"Am leaving now. I had asked for delivery before 6 pm. It's 6:10 now."

"Hmmm... Where do you live?"

"Excuse me??"

"I mean I will deliver to your home. Are you going home now?"

"Uhhh.. I am not going home now."

"When will you get home then?"

"Errr... I will get home very late."

While he probably thought of me as the happening girl with the happening life on a happening Friday night, I was rolling my eyes. That's because I was going to spend my happening Friday night getting jabbed in the arm with my not-so-happening keloid shots. My dermatologist is incredibly popular, and getting an appointment to see her is equivalent to the heavens descending down on you. So Friday night or no Friday night, I was going to see her.

"So where are you going now?" He asked.

"Excuse me??"

This conversation was getting more and more uncomfortable.

"I mean - can I meet you where you're going and pass you the DVD?"

"Uhhh... I am going to a clinic."

"Hmmm... Okay, I call you later, okay?"

"Uhh... okay." I hung up, very puzzled.

So I reach the dermi's place at 6:45 pm, and join the people who have queued in front of the clinic. The clinic opens at 7 pm, and the nurse gives me a piece of paper with the number 29 scribbled on it.

"Two and a half hours." She says.

Sheesh.

So I wander around trying to kill the two and half hours before the doc would see me. I go back to the clinic at 9 pm. The display shows the number 12.

Only 12 people in 2 freakin' hours????

I grab a seat, pick up some bimbo magazines and flip through the ads, occasionally coming across an article or two.

It's now 9:30 pm. The display shows 16.

Girl sitting next to me smiles at me. I smile back.

"That lady who just came in... her number is 41. Wonder when she'll get to see the doctor." She giggles.

"She will either have to follow the doctor home, or camp here until tomorrow morning." I say.

"Ha ha!" The girl laughs.

"You should take a number and then go watch a movie and come back. You'd still be in time to see the doc." I say.

"Hahaha!" More laughter from her. I'm crying on the inside. It's 9:45 pm. Tampines is on the other end of the country. It would take me almost two hours to get home.

Suddenly my phone rings.

"Hi, Sayesha! This is guy-who-could-not-deliver."

"Errr.. hi, guy-who-could-not-deliver."

"Where are you now?"

"Huhh??"

"I can go wherever you are, and deliver the DVD. Where are you now?"

"Err.... I'm in Tampines... " I said, unsure, because the clinic is in a godforsaken part of Tampines, without a single landmark where I could meet him.

"Where in Tampines?"

"Uhhh... Street 81..."

"Which block?"

"825."

"Unit number of the clinic?"

"#01-64."

"Will you still be there in 15 minutes' time?"

Dude, I'll probably be here until tomorrow evening, I thought to myself.

"Should be." was my actual reply.

"Okay, I call you when I get there?"

"Uhhh... okay."

In 15 minutes time, the guy called me. I stepped out of the clinic and there he was, with my DVD.

I paid for the DVD, went back into the clinic and took about 15 minutes to recover from what had just happened.

The doctor finally saw me at 11 pm. I had waited exactly 4 hours to get jabbed.

Bombay Talkies had sent guy-who-could-not-deliver to track me down no matter whichever part of Singapore I was in, and deliver my DVD.

It put things back in perspective. Maybe India and Indians were getting there in terms of efficiency. If not there, perhaps somewhere.

The incident made me smile on the inside. I was filled with a warm feel-good feeling.

Hmmm... socha na tha... :)

But wait a minute now... Suddenly I got suspicious!

Does Bombay Talkies have anything to do with Bombay Cafe now??? :O

If they do, and if the Bombay family is reading this, I beg you, please do not deliver a crate of 24 complimentary DVDs to my office.

I repeat, I do NOT want a crate of 24 complimentary DVDs delivered to my office.

Thank you. :-|

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Well, if you're insisting soooooooooooo much, then...... can I send you a list first? :P