Saturday, May 06, 2006

The guy who could not deliver

I have something to say to all you people who upload entire movies on

If you're gonna upload it, I'm gonna watch it, aren't I????


I am new to Youtube. And as happens when you give Sayesha new toys to play with, she has been going bonkers about it. While video hopping one day, I found a file from the movie 'Socha Na Tha' (meaning "I'd never thought of that."). I decided to watch a bit of it to see if Dharam praji's nephew can act better than his sons or not.

Oh boy.

The file had me completely hooked. So much that I dug out all 10 files of it from Youtube. Not to mention that I had to try various typos before I could get hold of all the files. Three of the files are named as 'Soucha Natha'. Sounds like a South African cricket player. Also 'shauchalaya' (Hindi word for 'toilet'), as ROS and I concurred. (Soucha natha = There was no toilet??)

Anyway, the bad quality of the files and the sound lagging behind by about 15 minutes did not deter me. I loved the movie so much that I actually watched it thrice over - that's watching 30 files. Sheesh.

So naturally the next step was to obtain the DVD so I could watch it when the sound was actually in sync with the scenes, and review it on my blog. My DVD buying rule is simple - if I can watch it 10 times, and still love it, it's time to buy the DVD!

So I thought I would go to Jade theatre this weekend, watch Gangster, and pick up the DVD of Socha Na Tha from the Bombay Talkies outlet outside the theatre. But a quick call to Jade theatre confirmed that Gangster has not yet released in Singapore, and will not for another week. Damn.

By then, my craving for the DVD had shot to epic proportions. I realised I could not bear it any more. I had to get the DVD to watch in the weekend. So I called up Bombay Talkies and asked them to deliver the DVD. I asked them to deliver it to my office before 6 pm. They said they would.

They did not.

Living in Singapore for almost 8 years has made me so used to the efficiency and organised way of doing things here, that such things make me very angry. Sometimes I feel like I'm too quick to judge India, but at other times I feel like it's high time we caught up, since the whole world is now looking at us. I feel that such bad customer service brings my country and its people a bad name. I remember the pain I had to go through when I was in India and I first applied for my passport. I had to go to Calcutta (where I was stalked on the roads for half an hour by this creep, making me swear that I would never visit the city again in my life, bringing on the wrath of many a Calcutta-lovers and Calcutta-dwellers, including my bro-in-law. Recently, Dad broke the news that his next transfer could be to Calcutta. But let's not get there. Literally or otherwise.) and stand outside government offices with rickety fans and lazy officials and load shedding and sweaty crowds for three days in a row before I could get my passport. When I compare that to the breeze that getting my Singapore IC was, I sigh and say, "Sigh. When will India and Indians get there in terms of efficiency?"

So the non-delivery of my DVD made me curse under my breath again and sigh "Sigh. When will India and Indians get there in terms of efficiency?"

As I finished work, I got a call. From some mobile number.


"Hello, is that Sayesha?"

"Yes, it is. Who is this?"

"Hi, I am guy-who-could-not-deliver, calling from Bombay Talkies."

"Hi, guy-who-could-not-deliver. You could not deliver."

"Yes yes, I could not deliver."

"Well, I wanted the DVD before the weekend started. Guess I'm not getting it. So can you deliver it on Monday?"

"Oh, have you left your office?" He asked.

"Am leaving now. I had asked for delivery before 6 pm. It's 6:10 now."

"Hmmm... Where do you live?"

"Excuse me??"

"I mean I will deliver to your home. Are you going home now?"

"Uhhh.. I am not going home now."

"When will you get home then?"

"Errr... I will get home very late."

While he probably thought of me as the happening girl with the happening life on a happening Friday night, I was rolling my eyes. That's because I was going to spend my happening Friday night getting jabbed in the arm with my not-so-happening keloid shots. My dermatologist is incredibly popular, and getting an appointment to see her is equivalent to the heavens descending down on you. So Friday night or no Friday night, I was going to see her.

"So where are you going now?" He asked.

"Excuse me??"

This conversation was getting more and more uncomfortable.

"I mean - can I meet you where you're going and pass you the DVD?"

"Uhhh... I am going to a clinic."

"Hmmm... Okay, I call you later, okay?"

"Uhh... okay." I hung up, very puzzled.

So I reach the dermi's place at 6:45 pm, and join the people who have queued in front of the clinic. The clinic opens at 7 pm, and the nurse gives me a piece of paper with the number 29 scribbled on it.

"Two and a half hours." She says.


So I wander around trying to kill the two and half hours before the doc would see me. I go back to the clinic at 9 pm. The display shows the number 12.

Only 12 people in 2 freakin' hours????

I grab a seat, pick up some bimbo magazines and flip through the ads, occasionally coming across an article or two.

It's now 9:30 pm. The display shows 16.

Girl sitting next to me smiles at me. I smile back.

"That lady who just came in... her number is 41. Wonder when she'll get to see the doctor." She giggles.

"She will either have to follow the doctor home, or camp here until tomorrow morning." I say.

"Ha ha!" The girl laughs.

"You should take a number and then go watch a movie and come back. You'd still be in time to see the doc." I say.

"Hahaha!" More laughter from her. I'm crying on the inside. It's 9:45 pm. Tampines is on the other end of the country. It would take me almost two hours to get home.

Suddenly my phone rings.

"Hi, Sayesha! This is guy-who-could-not-deliver."

"Errr.. hi, guy-who-could-not-deliver."

"Where are you now?"


"I can go wherever you are, and deliver the DVD. Where are you now?"

"Err.... I'm in Tampines... " I said, unsure, because the clinic is in a godforsaken part of Tampines, without a single landmark where I could meet him.

"Where in Tampines?"

"Uhhh... Street 81..."

"Which block?"


"Unit number of the clinic?"


"Will you still be there in 15 minutes' time?"

Dude, I'll probably be here until tomorrow evening, I thought to myself.

"Should be." was my actual reply.

"Okay, I call you when I get there?"

"Uhhh... okay."

In 15 minutes time, the guy called me. I stepped out of the clinic and there he was, with my DVD.

I paid for the DVD, went back into the clinic and took about 15 minutes to recover from what had just happened.

The doctor finally saw me at 11 pm. I had waited exactly 4 hours to get jabbed.

Bombay Talkies had sent guy-who-could-not-deliver to track me down no matter whichever part of Singapore I was in, and deliver my DVD.

It put things back in perspective. Maybe India and Indians were getting there in terms of efficiency. If not there, perhaps somewhere.

The incident made me smile on the inside. I was filled with a warm feel-good feeling.

Hmmm... socha na tha... :)

But wait a minute now... Suddenly I got suspicious!

Does Bombay Talkies have anything to do with Bombay Cafe now??? :O

If they do, and if the Bombay family is reading this, I beg you, please do not deliver a crate of 24 complimentary DVDs to my office.

I repeat, I do NOT want a crate of 24 complimentary DVDs delivered to my office.

Thank you. :-|


Well, if you're insisting soooooooooooo much, then...... can I send you a list first? :P


Lalit Singh said...


Rays Of Sun said...

Me first

Lalit Singh said...

an this time i read before posting...

agar 24 DVD aa gayi to 2-4 idhar bhej diyo

Lalit Singh said...

Sorry ROS

lil _kath said...

..hehe ^_^ hope 24 dvd's will be deliver to ur office today :D
..oops ur off naa? then the"guy-who-could-not-deliver" will need to meet you again somewhere ready ^_~

..enjoy weekend kawaii!


Meena said...


imagine if you get 24 copies of the same movie!..Cool thought eh?

PS: I found the movie okay, but the dude sucked bigtime!!

The Girl Who Sold The World said...

Hahaha, I was wondering how I missed those Thums Up posts. Now I remember that I was in the evil clutches of boards at that time. :P
And "Soucha Natha" (what an insanely funny name!) is a cool movie...Abhay Deol is NICE. :D
And if you get any complimentary DVD, please remember someone nice, sweet, innocent, charming and*ahem* moi. :P
Oh, by the way, I'm gonna have paani-puri tomorrow. Exam se pehle ka shagun. :P Are you jealous yet? Muahahaha.

The Girl Who Sold The World said...

And the name "guy-who-could-not-deliver" sounds hilarious...if you think of it from another point of view. :P Hahaha.

Rohit Talwar said...

Man! That guy! Tracked down on Street 81, 825, #01-64!

Haan. Kahin to kaam achha kar rahe hain.

I'd have been very irritated and would have screamed with the way the guy was talking. You're still patient. Sheesh.

Aur haan, if you get DVDs, mujhe bhi bhej dalna ek-do. :D

Sayesha said...

#Lalit ji,
Mubaraq ho :)

//agar 24 DVD aa gayi to 2-4 idhar bhej diyo

Kis khushi mein? :/

Bas yehi kehna tha?? :O

Hahahaha! :D

Sheesh, that would be terrible. In that case, I will send 22 of the DVDs to Lalit. Muahahaha! :D

//I found the movie okay, but the dude sucked bigtime!!

Really??? I LOVED the movie, and I LOVED the dude. :)

#World Girl,
//And if you get any complimentary DVD, please remember someone nice, sweet, innocent, charming and ummmm...GOOD

Haan haan, kyun nahin! NRIs ko dikha dikha ke pani puri khaane wale toh bahut "nice, sweet, innocent, charming and ummmm...GOOD" hote hain na! Hmmph! :/

//And the name "guy-who-could-not-deliver" sounds hilarious...if you think of it from another point of view.

It was meant to be like that, you dhakkan! :D

Sayesha said...

Sheesh! Teri nazar bhi mere free DVDs par hai?? You can have a few from Lalit's 22! ;)

Rohit Talwar said...

And, err, well, let me inform those who are going-to-enjoy paani-puri tomorrow, and even to you Sayesha, I HAD LOADS OF IT today. :P

Siddhu said...

Good try to cadge 24 DVDs, Sayesha! LOL!!

And love Bheegi Bheegi - thanks SO much for sending it to moi -- now my revision's going to the dogs (or rather, it's getting all bheegi-bheegi)! ;)

The Girl Who Sold The World said...

It was meant to be like that, you dhakkan! :D
Hahaha. Okay, okay. Main thodi si dimag se paidal hoon liye time lagta hai. :P

@Rohit: Loads of pani-puri? :O Pet dukhega tera! Dekh lena!

Mitthi said...

"socha na tha" is a lovely movie.... and those two songs "ek ped humne", "Mera Tumhara..." are wonderful.... may be you won't notice them while you watch the movie but do listen to them later.. i bet you will love them...

Milind Sharma said...

my god,
you write so many things.It will take whole my saturday and sunday holiday to complete reading this.

Deepu said...

wish i can go to singapore atleast once -- not to enjoy such high level of service but to meet you once...

Anyways i didnt understand that " i dont want a crate of 24 DVD's" and one of my friends who is also a Sayesha fan explained me quickly about your bombay cafe debacle..

Grr i dropped my plans to visit singapore atleast once because Thumbs-up is very rare to find in Singapore grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
In my scheme of things thumbs-up come first and your blog is a close second..

Sorry sayesha.. we just cant meet unless you end up convincing singaporeans to sell thumbs-up :))

chandu said...

astonished after reading that the guy-who-could-not-deliver infact delivered after a deliberate search for the busy Sayesha!!!!

dharmu said...

hey sayesha,

i love reading your posts. i read them, giggle, my boss looks, uh..stares at me, i giggle, he looks annoyed, i giggle,

hes left all hope on me now, so i keep giggling.

Purush said...

Always good fun, ur posts...:)

The Anonymous said...

Such a huge country, so much history, so difficult to match up.

Bruce Almighty said...

to move fwd with india's size wud surely take some time... hope sooner than later...

lil _kath said...

..aww "the guy-who-could-not- deliver" meant by that?? :D
...yeah, i thought of that too when i first read it ^_^ ehehehe..(shut up kathy!) *wink*

pandora said...! cool!

You tube..even i was introduced to this u tube quite recently. I uploaded "my heart will go on" of Titanic. :D

so when he finally approached you with dvd how did he introduced homself? err.."the-guy-who-could-deliver"? :P

Rohit Talwar said...

@The Girl
Nahi re, I'm used to it. You know Punju stomachs :D Abhi tak to nahi dukha! Tu itna chahti hai to shayad ho jaye.. X-(

Rebellion said...

Hey Sayesha...

I was wondering what exactly you'd have written in the post titled 'Guy who could not deliver' :p
Obvio.. double meanings rise first :p hehehe

Nice one.. I love the way you name the characters haan.. 'guy-who-could-not-deliver' :p

Dam.. you have me soooooooo addicted to your blog.. how will I update mine then??? :p I come on the net & first thing I do is check your blog, sometimes even before my mail :| :D

And hey.. glad 'the-guy-who-could-not-deliver' Manged to delivery the DVD... see Indians are improving too :D

As its rightly said..
"Sau mein se ninyaanve (99) baimaan..
Phir bhi mera BHARAT mahaan"


Take care dear,

Rebellion said...

PS: Forgot to tell you Sash.. 'Gangster' is still going on, in the background :| :P

Dev said...

28th (or thereabouts)!!!! Yipppeee!!! :D

"Soucha natha -> No toilets" This has me ROTFL... still.
And Gangster (the film & the moozik, as u know) rocks!!! Meant to write a review last week, but no time. :( Hectic week.

And... thnx for droppin by. :)

Sirius Black said...

lolzz :P Socha na tha is an awesome movie :D nice blog
Keep Bloggin

arpz said...

great post ! and yeah , uve now motivated me to go see the movie ...

Shekhar said...

Sahi hai. The last DVD that I bought was 2 weeks ago outside Andheri station. 4 James Bond movies for Rs. 80. He wanted 100, but I, unbelievably and successfully, bargained !! 20 bucks per movie. Not bad, huh ?

Lalit Singh said...

main phurst aaya na isliye 2-3 inaam mein de dijiye shehzaadi sahiba...

aur agar saari ek hi movie ho to siorf ek hi bhej dena..

and yes.. blogger finally allowed me to upload all the pics which i wanted to... lekin bahut try ke bad

Abhishek Upadhyay said...

Just take another scenario.
Sayesha is very desperate to have the CDs.The guy-who-atlast-delivered too was desperately trying to fulfill his cammitment.

As soon as sayesha sees the delivery guy...she goes and gives him a tight Jadoo ki Jhappi(Munna Bhia Ishtyle)....

You would have made the day of that guy....since he took so many trouble to reach you,I think he deserves that.

Sayesha said...

Resume rejected. :/

You too hooked, eh? Muahahaha! Bheegi bheegi and Sayesha will soon take over the world :)

#World Girl,
Dimaag se paidal?? Hahahahaha! Pehli baar suna yeh term! :D

I LOVE both songs, especially Mera tumhara... but you gotta watch the song as you listen to it... especially all the scenes where he's thinking about her... amazingly done :)

Don't read badon ka blog, bache. Go and do your homework. :)

Arre you will find both me and Thums Up in Bombay Cafe! :)

Hahaha! Whatta tongue-twister! :)

Oye don't get fired ok?? :P :P

Thanks, dear! :)

#The Anonymous,
Yeah... true... some day we will man.. as long as things ARE moving, there is hope :)

Yeah, amen! :)

Hahaha! Dirty mind, you! :D

Hahaha! No, he just gave me his name, and told me he was from Bombay Talkies :)

Wait till I get to Delhi next year... Tu hi ghumaayega puri Delhi mein pani puri ke liye! :/

//Sau mein se ninyaanve (99) baimaan..
Phir bhi mera BHARAT mahaan


//'Gangster' is still going on, in the background

I have graduated to songs from Socha Na Tha. :)

Cool! A friend told me Gangster sucks. I gotta watch it for myself. :)

Yeah, I just watched it for the fifth time. LOVED it all over again! :)

You gotta watch it! It's awesome! :)

Hahaha! Mine was around 20 bucks too!! Dollars :P

Ghulam Ali, late aaye ho! Shehzadi naaraaz hai! DVD nahin degi, hmmmph! :/

What?! Oye my jadu ki jhappis are not so free-for-all, okie? :D


I think you should accept the 24 complimentary DVDs from Bombay Talkies.

Know what Sayesha? Just like your Bombay Cafe reading your blog, my post on our State politics in my blog got published at the Telegraph Newspaper, Kolkata without my knowledge, on 2nd May and I was overjoyed to see it there.

Blogs are really getting polular among newpaper editors too. Thanks to BlogSpot.

Sudeep said...

Socha na tha is gud?? :o

if someone directly reads the first convo betn u n the guy it will seem funny :D
Hi, I am guy-who-could-not-deliver, calling from Bombay Talkies."
"Hi, guy-who-could-not-deliver. You could not deliver."
"Yes yes, I could not deliver

n this coz i just read a post on earth-shattering male pregnancy announcement

anyways enjoy Gangster when it gets released there coz heard tht it is pretty gud..

naari said...

Hey can I also contribute to that list ;)

Sayesha said...

Congrats about your post getting published! :)

// I think you should accept the 24 complimentary DVDs from Bombay Talkies.

Right. Like they're running after me to give me the free DVDs! :D

Socha Na Tha is brilliant!!!! I've seen in four times in one week! :D

Haan haan, tu bhi dho le haath behti ganga mein! :D

Shriedhar said...

socha na tha ki "sochaa na tha" was tht gud :)

Sayesha said...

Egg-jactly! :D

naari said...

So any news from the Bombay gang yet ;)

Anat said...

The title is very very misleading :)

Sayesha said...

Nahin re... I think they saw through my act this time! x-(

I know! ;)