Tamil teriyaad, dude!

The other day, I was walking around when I came across an Indian food stall.

"Kya chahiye?" ("What do you want?") said the guy in Hindi.

I was so pleased that I instantly bought my dinner from him.

No, I wasn't thrilled that a fellow Indian had spoken to me in a language I understood. I was just thrilled that the guy did not automatically assume that since I was Indian, I knew Tamil.

A small percentage of Singapore's population is made up of Indians whose great-grandfathers settled here ages ago. Since most of them happen to be from Tamil Nadu, they are an important part of Singapore's multi-racial society. In fact, Tamil is one of the four national languages here. Which is probably why, surprising as it may seem, many people are not aware of the existence of states other than Tamil Nadu.

Many people appear shocked when I tell them I can't speak Tamil. "But you're Indian what!" they say. "Yes, but all Indians do not speak Tamil." I try to clarify. "They don't???" I get shocked looks. Heck, I know my country's official language in and out even though it is not my state language. I understand most north Indian languages, what else do you want?? Oh, sanskrit? Well, I know that too! :/

I have noticed how advantageous it is to know Tamil, especially in Mustafa, as demonstrated by a friend yesterday who got us instant service from the salesman by speaking in Tamil. If the language wasn't the toughest language in the world (according to me baba!), I'd have surely taken up lessons right after I completed my Introductory Chinese lessons. But when I hear someone speak in Tamil, I freak out. 'Cos one word sounds like one sentence and one sentence sounds like a word. You get what I mean. And don't even get me started on the jalebi-like script. It is too intimidating for me to even think about learning it.

So much as I love some of the Tamil songs, I don't understand what they are talking about. And somehow I feel that the hindi version just does not do justice to the original songs. I mugged up the entire lyrics of Snehidane and Vaseegara so I could sing them. But it's a pity that I don't understand what I am singing. :(

Sometimes, when I am out in a food court, even the guy in the Indian food stall simply assumes I am a Tamilian and starts talking to me in Tamil. At first, I used to get really confused because I did not know what to say. I mean I do have Tamil friends who have been kind enough to teach me some bad words (isn't that the first lesson in any language?), but I don't think those words would exactly be useful in the food court situation. Besides, those words almost got me into trouble once, when I wanted to say "Aapdiya?" but almost said...err.... something that rhymes with it.

So to get around this problem, I decided to learn to say "Tamil teriyaad" ("Dunno Tamil") to such people. I was told that it was a sure shot way of getting the point across that I was not a Tamilian because apparently no self-respecting Tamilian would use such an ungrammatical, incomplete and inelegant phrase, not to mention the bad pronunciation.

So I thought I'd try it in a real-life scenario.

"Something-something-something?" said food court guy.

"Sorry, Tamil teriyaad." I said triumphantly.

"Ohhh! Something-something-something-something???" He grinned widely.

Sheesh. :/

Any Tamilians in the house? Can you teach me how to say "Didn't I just say I don't know Tamil, you dhakkan?"