Thursday, May 18, 2006

So long!

A couple of days ago, a friend of mine was talking to me about my blog.

"When I open your blog page, you know what I do first?"


"Scroll to see how long the post is?" I replied.


"Wow!! How do you know???"

"Ah, well. I know. A lot of people do it."


"I actually skip some posts, you know. 'Cos they're too long..."


"I know. A lot of people do it."


"Some of your posts are just way too long yaar!"


"I know. A lot of people say so."


"Saare posts chhote likha kar na!" ("Why don't you write only short posts?")


"I can't."

"Why not?"


"Because I can't end the post on my blog before it ends in my head. Waise bhi, jisko padhna hoga woh padhega. Jisko nahin padhna hoga, woh nahin padhega." ("Anyway, those who wanna read it will read it. Those who don't, will not.")


"But sometimes I don't even finish reading the post."

"I know. A lot of people don't."


In the conversation, I said "I know" like a million times. But what I thought I knew, was brought forth with a never-before clarity only now.

Here's my very cool Excel chart that shows some data about my last post.















As shown clearly in the chart above, if they made a movie out of that post of mine, the audience would go to pee during the interval and never return to the theatre. It would be such a whopping flop, I'd be on the streets. :D

No statcounter data has ever revealed it the way that post did - that not everyone makes it to the end.

So am I going to start writing shorter posts from now on?

Nope.

Why?

Because I can't end the post on my blog before it ends in my head.

I never thought I'd ever have to explain a post, but I don't think I can take any more sympathy, love-life advice, and words of consolation/encouragement to help me cope with the apparent heart-break that I never had in the first place. I know people mean well, but I really cannot take it any more. :)

So I guess an official press statement is in order.


1. William is not my boyfriend.
2. He never was and never will be.
3. Ditto for Thomas.
4. William is my 40-something optician.
5. Thomas is his 50-something colleague.
6. I feel silly as I write this.



74 comments:

Raysofsun said...

First

Duhita said...

Keep them as long as it can get, we dont want to miss any juicy details!:)

2fast2furious said...

This space is full of dumasses.. God.. the IQ level in the comments space is making George Bush look like Einstein.

2fast2furious said...

Bronze. Kiss my ass.

Rays Of Sun said...

ROTF @ William story:P

Rays Of Sun said...

WOW..George bush must read your comment 2fas2furious:P

shub said...

tsk tsk. post ka explantaion?! :O

Rohit Talwar said...

And you still think I fell for that post, haina?!

:(

By the way, the Excel thingie is 'very cool' indeed. Ahem.

Restless said...

~blushes again~...
excel analysis was cool:)

ggop said...

Dude(ette),
You think 39% didn't get it?
Bwaahaahhaa. Write as much as you want. Blogs are ramblings anyway :-)
gayatri

kais said...

long posts are okaay yaar...if its too long i usually skip the middle, not the end...now where is this 'excel chart' everyone is talking about??

:)

cheers
kais

Sayesha said...

#ROS,
Bahut dinon baad?

#Duhita,
:)

#2fast2furious,
I don't think it had anything to do with IQ. I think many people just found the post too long to read all the way till the end.

#ROS,
:)

#Shub,
What to do yaar? I really can't take any more consolations or advice on love-life :(

#Rohit,
Hahahahaha! What (the lack of) a smiley can do, eh? ;)

#Restless,
:P

#Gayatri,
//You think 39% didn't get it?

That's what I gathered from the comments that overflowed with sympathy, consolation and advice :)

//Write as much as you want. Blogs are ramblings anyway :-)

Exactly :)

#Kais,
//if its too long i usually skip the middle, not the end...

Aha, smart strategy! :P

//now where is this 'excel chart' everyone is talking about??

What? You can't view it?? :O

Recently, I got to using a lot of Excel graphs for some of my reports, and ever since I have been like a toddler with a new toy! :P

Kais said...

>> What? You can't view it?? :O

Uhhhh....so so far 100% didn't understand my joke... :O :O

Cheers
Kais

Sayesha said...

#Kais,
Heyyyyyy! This is cheating, okay! :/

1. This post is definitely not classified as a long post! How dare you skip the middle? :P

2. I can't view many things when I access blogs using my work comp (it's a Mac) and that's why I fell for it. Innocent me. Evil you. :|

Rebellion said...

LOL Sash..

Great analysis haan :P
You actually had to pen down in points explaining yourself and the importance of William & Thomas in your life :P:P hehehe

As far as long posts are concerned.. I don't think there's anything wrong with it (And no.. I don't skip any part of it).. I too tend to believe in your statement.. You can't end the post on your blog before it ends in your head :)

You know what I see first on your blog?? Well.. take a wild guess! :P

Take care,
Aarti

Archana said...

LOL :-D! I read the previous post right till the end...so you can add a few more percentage points to your chart in the "read the full blog" section ;-)!

Ro said...

Nice excel analysis. You should go to business school.

Anonymous said...

hahaha!!!! ROTFLMAO!!!! hahahaha!!!!hehehehe!!!!!

Abhishek Upadhyay said...

Hey sayesha,

Write as much as you can. Dunno about others but this guy-without-job is there to read it up to end, word by word.

William and thomas...hmmmm....so you are more into may-decenber romance kinda thing.

Keep pennin

Abhishek

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

post was too long yaar..thanks for the summary statements, tho'

;)

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

I always scroll down to see if tgwstw made it before me. then i read the post.

Rays Of Sun said...

And if ppl dont understand...its their problem..I would never explain my posts:)

Negative Creep said...

F*ck. You got me. :P

Rohit Talwar said...

I KNOW!

The damn smileys.

Bhaarat said...

Please Please.... Do not cut short your blog. I am learning so many things from your blog. But after Kaavya I am a bit skeptic but then who gives a damn. I can cannonically transform into another platform once I learn from u.

And u dint get the pun intended in my comment and u included me in the 39%. Excel is way far powerful, u must learn a bit of VBA to harness its power better. its simple english like programming.

spamtaneous said...

hmm... day by day...either
sayesha ke readers ka IQ girta jaa raha hai... ya sayesha ka

j/k

Thanu said...

Ayyo... u had to write an explanation for ur prev post...

naari said...

Ha Ha! I thought that post was hialrious. Happened to read it first thing this morning and it sure started off my day with a laugh. And as for the lengths, like you said, thoughts need to come to a natural end; like waterfalls. Ending them abruptly is like the reel getting chopped off in the middle of a thriller movie. Or a waterfall suspended in midair
I fI know you, you write cos you want to on your terms and unlike movie producers you do not write it to sell it to us, to get our kudos. If that had been teh case, you would have been performing to an audience and a lot of MACs could have been avoided..whaddya say?..

Eclectic Blogger said...

i also see the length of the post.. and only then use my discretion to decide on whether to read it or not ;-) but I always read urs even though i know they will be a mile and a half long ;-)

Sudeep said...

aila maine bhi last line nahi padhi thi..
hey u added tht ltrz.... pataa hain mujhe

bechare Thomas aur William ka dil tod diya tune..shyyyaaaa

aur i swear main bhi scroll karta hu dekhne kitna lamba post hain :)

The Girl Who Sold The World said...

I do usually scroll down to see the length of the post...more out of a habit, I guess.
And count me among those 50%...nice chart. I suck at Excel. Bleh.

L said...

Yup, this is the standard "Sayeshaz Reader Dilemma"

Ur posts are too inviting and tempting to read, and u reveal things so slowly, by the time , I reach the end, I realise ki aadha ghanta khatam ho gaya hai..!!

And then u have a cruel way of linking this post to 13 other past history posts with a cutie smilie "Remember mera class 5 wala kiss I wrote abt here" and then finally making me read 15 more posts. Hence I am damn careful nowadays..!

Added to this new blogs every day..!! ..Sigh..No rest to readers..!

Hmm also gt an idea... Ek Synopsis bhi dal do at the end.. so that fast movers ko pata chal jaye ki kya hua hai but again like this post its also too alluring.

Anil said...

Sayesha, you use a mac at work and you are still stuck with Excel charts? Naalayak! Use Keynote!

Joy said...

ha ha ha I knew it... there's something wrong with the love triangle!

Write for your very own pleasure Sayesh. Be it lengthy or otherwise, let your post ends when your head tells so!

BTW, Emraan Hashmi is cute!

Sayesha said...

#Aarti,
//You actually had to pen down in points explaining yourself

Sigh. Karna padta hai yaar... karna padta hai... :)

//You know what I see first on your blog?? Well.. take a wild guess! :P

Uhhh... who took gold? :P

#Archana,
Phew! :D

#Ro,
Thou mocketh me??? :@
ps: I am also very good with Microsoft word and powerpoint, sir. :P

#Anon,
:P

#Abhishek,
//William and thomas...hmmmm....so you are more into may-decenber romance kinda thing.

What? Huh? Samajh mein nahin aaya :(

#Ipanema Gal,
Yeah, I'm thinking of doing that from now on. After every post, the subsequent one will be the summary of the previous one :P

#ROS,
//I would never explain my posts

I wouldn't either. But I was getting a bit sick of the sympathy and advice. :/

#Creep,
Muahahahaha! Revenge sweet revenge! You said my taste was bad when I said I like Emraan in glasses. Muahahaha! :D

#Rohit,
Offo! Isme toh daal diya hota ek smiley... abhi tak naaraaz ho? :(

#Bhaarat,
Oye you're comparing me to Kaavya? :(

//And u dint get the pun intended in my comment and u included me in the 39%.

And who said that I included you in the 39%? Apne aap hi?? Hahahaha! Chor ki daadhi mein tinka! :D

#Spammy,
//sayesha ke readers ka IQ girta jaa raha hai... ya sayesha ka

Haan haan... mere posts padhne se brain cells degenerate ho jate hain. Jaise ki aapke ho gaye hain. :D

#Thanu,
What to do yaar... all the love-life advice was getting too much man... :(

#Naari,
You know me too well, bacha... :)

#Eclectic,
//even though i know they will be a mile and a half long ;-)

Sheesh. Thanks :)

#Sudeep,
//hey u added tht ltrz.... pataa hain mujhe

NO, I didn't!! Khud ka patience nahin raha end tak padhne ki toh mujhpar aisa ganda ilzaaaaammmm???? Yeh nainsafi hai! :/

//ur i swear main bhi scroll karta hu dekhne kitna lamba post hain :)

Maloom hai maloom hai... I still remember how you came to my blog! ;)

#World Girl,
Arre tu sabse itna peechhe?? Kya ho gaya bachi? :(

#L,
//"Remember mera class 5 wala kiss I wrote abt here"

Oye!! Kaiku meri reputation kharaab karta hai public ke saamne? Apun ko Emraan ka female version samjha hai kya? Serial-kisser since class 5! :O

#Anil,
Oye khalnayak! Apun ghar par PC use karta hai... aur blog bhi ghar par karta hai... that's why excel :D
ps: Excel charts rock. :P

#Joy,
:D

Duhita said...

Hey...you did change the ending, right?!:) I know I'm not that ill to the point of delirious.

Sayesha said...

#Duhita,
Ending of this post you mean? Yeah, I just broke the paragraph into numbered statements :)

I think Sudeep was talking about the last post - he thought I added the last line later. :D

dharmu said...

ok, 67 people talk about ur bf who never existed, and a break-up which never happened. 37+ people talk about ur press release.

this thought flashes in my 70mm screen: if sayesha is so widely read, why dont i start a blog mag every month from US. ill be multi-millioner soon,

@junta-any one interested ?

sabkabaap said...

read your blog for the first time..in fact read any blog for the first time..the ending was really slick .. stylish.. but hey! blogs are ramblings

Raj said...

Hey. These days even I don't comment for the same reason. The posts are too long n my breaks are too short :(

Maybe you should start writing post summaries for impatient people like me :)

Prayank said...

i had a big laugh reading the comments on ur last post ...
imagine there mit be ppl who cud not have slept that night when they thought that Sayesha had William/Thomas in her life

Raju Bathija said...

I link the line: Because I can't end the post on my blog before it ends in my head. . Your posts are long but are entertaining and readable.

Mary said...

Hehe! I didn't comment on your last post Sayesha.. but I had lots of fun reading the comments from the people who didn't read the last line at all (or didn't get it) :D keep up your posts long or short.. they are great! :)

Rose said...

~laughs~

First time at ur blog.. so the press statement didnt mean mch to me..

But "Because I can't end the post on my blog before it ends in my head" sunk in deep coz i face complaints abt hw long my posts are...

Like u said "jisko padhna hoga woh padhega. Jisko nahin padhna hoga, woh nahin padhega."

:)

..Me

Shruthi said...

Now this has me totally tickled :)))) People actually gave you love advice on the previous post?? :))
I wanted to comment on that one too, to tell you that it was awesome.(But, err... I didn't ;)) That "optician" at the end really got me!
Great fun :) Thanks for the good laugh ;)

Rebellion said...

hehehe..

Yeah Sash dear.. something similar...
I first check the number of comments on your post and see if I stand a chance in the first 10 :P

Its happened just once so far! So I normally just see the no of comments & sigh! Get back to reading your post coz I don't stand a chance anywhere :P

Thats what made me sooo excited to take away silver in your last post :D I'll definitey take away the GOLD too someday!

Sun rahi ho world girl.. I don't get scared of you.. I'll definitely snatch away the gold from you one day :D :P:P

Hum honge kaamyaab..
hum honge kaamyaab..
hum honge kaamyaab.. ek dinnnnnnnn...
o ho mann mein hai vishvaas,
poora hai vishvaas,
hum honge kaamyaab.. ek dinnnn! :P:P

LOL, sorry.. got carried away (as usual :P)

Take care,
Aarti

Bhaarat said...

Oye!! U arent reading my comments well. I understand u have so much of pressure to reply so many posts.
In my comment
SAYESHA: Mc-Cafferty
BHAARAT: Kaavya.

Anonymous said...

Sayesha, thats an awful thing to do to us. Okay, I admit that I was one of the people that just didnt get it. When I read I glance over the words, and so the whole "optician" thing didnt grab my attention.

BUT, despite the fact that I though it was a genuine story of you being dumped, and once I get past the feeling of being duped, I think it was an amusing and well thought of way to describe the simple act of your optician of 4 years referring you to another optician. Well done!

The Smiling Girl said...

Yeah, I often come across comments like that from a few people whom I know in my personal life. They complain that the posts are too long... and I tell the same to them. \"Read it if you want to.. No force!!\"

But as you said, its so weird that people give neutral comments or comment without understanding it at all... :)..

the Monk said...

yeah, but you write well...and quite a bit is conversation, which can be read quickly...

Rohit Talwar said...

Eew. Yeh lo smileys.
:) :D :P ;) ;D ;P

:D

Aur.. The Girl ka kuch karo.

HOTWINTER said...

I think Im the dhakkan who misinterpreted the whole thing. Curse me!

Aslam said...

Your last post had an O Henryesque ending.

priya said...

Grrr.. tht was a lot of knowledge wasted on ur optician.. hmmph!

..p..

Suds said...

Hey I called u brave girl because u took ur dumping by ur optician so well..:):)

Hehehe. I have to accept it I also did not get all of it. :) Sorry.

Enjoy.

Shekhar said...

Not fair!! I read the complete post and yet didn't get it. Ok. I guess that qualifies me as MR. Dumb of the year..but what the hell. :D

And I seriously don't care how long your posts are, I always read them, if not immediately, then later when I have free time.

Cheers.

Rahul Obla said...

Sometimes....I wonder whatz more fun to read!!...your posts or the comments section!!. But your blog sure does bring a smile in my face during a stressful day !. Spread the joy.:o)

Sahil said...

hahaha! bechaari Sayesha. Kohin nahin samajhta hain aap ko... humaare ilaava :)

ritzkini said...

:O
somebody said the samething to me !
"too long..."
It's a conspiracy,i tell you...to dominate the world !
May even be the aliens,spreading such stuff !
ha! bloggers and short posts !? who ever heard of that !!!??
:D

Negative Creep said...

Sayesha, Emraan Hashmi still deserves to be shot at sight.

Anonymous said...

Hey! "So long" meant you are on a vacation??? No new posts :( ... Very Bery Disappointed!

-Sowmya

Siddhu said...

I got it last time... :D I'm among the 50% :P Treat de

Sayesha said...

#Dharmu,
Hahhaa! I'll supply the inside masala stories... royalties kitne? ;)

#Sabkabaap,
Welcome to Sayeshaz. :)

#Raj,
:D

#Prayank,
:O :D

#Raju,
Thanks :)

#Mary,
Thanks :)

#Rose,
Welcome to Sayeshaz. :)

#Shruthi,
Yeah! :| I got loads of advice, suggestions on who I'd wanna 'spend my life with' and other similar stuff. Sheesh. :P

#Aarti,
Aap honge kaamyaab! Ipanema Girl se kuchh seekho! Table ke neeche se apun ko chai-pani ka kharcha paar karo, gold hi gold milega! ;)

#Bhaarat,
Ohhh!! Okie okie :P

#Anonymous,
Thanks! :D Care to identify yourself? You sound like a regular reader, gimme at least your nickname yaar! :)

#Preethi,
:)

#The Monk,
Thanks :)

#Rohit,
Baap re! Saare smileys ek saath! Saal bhar ka quota pura kiya kya? :D
ps: Kya hua World Girl ko???

#Hotwinter,
//Curse me!

Aha. I see what you're getting at. No curses for you.

#Aslam,
Hey, you're still around! :)
O Henry?? Whoa, I'm honoured! :D

#Priya,
Egg-jactly! Who asked you to give one big bhaashan without reading the post?? :D

#Suds,
//Hey I called u brave girl because u took ur dumping by ur optician so well..:):)

Nice try, Suds! ;)

#Shekhar,
Aaj kal bahut zyada kaam kar rahe ho kya? Simple simple cheezein bheje ke upar se nikal jati hain? ;)

#Rahul,
Thanks! :)

#Sahil,
Bechaari?? What bechaari! Kuchh bechari nahin! :/ 50% of the people got it. You're just one of them, apne aap ko itnaaaaa sara credit bhi mat do, my dear :)

#Ritzkini,
//somebody said the samething to me !
"too long..."

Errr.. was it me? Hehehe! :P

#Negative Creep,
Dude, watch Gansgter, then we'll talk.

#Sowmya,
Hahahahahaha! Your comment put a thought in my head. What if there were people around who only read the post title and did not have the patience to even begin reading the post? :D My comment space would be flooded with goodbye messages by now :D Perhaps a few 'Tusi na jao' ones too! :P
ps: Went for a concert last night, came back at 2 in the night, now going to uni... will blog later if I get time :)

#Siddhu,
Oye! Kaahe ka treat! You're my reader from the old days. If you hadn't got that, I'd be whacking you on the head! :D

kinghouse said...

where is my new post...
sayesha ne bunk maar diya....weekend ki khusi mein

lil _kath said...

...oops which one i belong?? ^_^ hehe...i dun have problem with long post to read coz i love reading...the problem is i'm not good in commenting :)
...and Sayesha will be Sayesha ,the gal who always writes long post and we love you for that and probably no one can match u for longest post in blogger hehe ^_~
..but it's always worth reading here yaar, i always leave with a smile and saying hmm...nice sayesha u made my day girl ^_~
...and for sure ur not suffering "writers block" syndrome haha..magnificent kawaii, i can't believe you ;) ur always loads of something to write.
..i envy you ^_~

P.S.
i still remember the"guy who could not deliver" :P
Did they sent you the dvd's?? hehe..

enjoy weekend kawaii^_^

cheers,
-kathy-

Sayesha said...

#Kinghouse,
Hehehe :P

#Kathy,
Thanks, dear. :)
Nope, no DVDs yet! :(

Kais said...

>> Heyyyyyy! This is cheating,
>> okay! :/ + some heavy logical
>> analysis etc...

Hey don't get all scientific on me now...!

1. i crack joke
2. you no crack smile

now i am making my own diabolical
pie-chart to defame you ... :O :O

Cheers
Kais

Sayesha said...

#Kais,

1. I crack logic.
2. You no get.

:(

Anonymous said...

Me last!!

Sayesha said...

#Anonymous,
Beat you to it!
ps: We're crazy! Hahahaah! :D

Harshi said...

Sash, I always read your posts from start to finish and never skip even a word. :) You don't have to shorten any posts.......just do it the way it comes naturally. You writing is such that pata hee nahi chalta when I reach the end. :) It just flows.

Sayesha said...

#Harshi,
Thanks, girl! :)

Dev said...

Hmm... so finally a press conference to explain matters. :D:D:D

And do NOT shorten ur posts. Jisko padna hai padenge... :)

Anonymous said...

Keep up the good work » »