:) and yet :(

So I had some good news at work. Brilliant news, in fact.

It was a proud moment for me. I was very happy.

I think.

But every now and then, my heart would sink. As if something was wrong somewhere and I could not figure it out. What was it that was not letting me fully celebrate my moment of glory? What was that odd feeling that was gnawing at a corner of my heart, causing such ups and downs? Why were my eyes teary, why was my heart breaking? One moment I would be so elated, and the very next, I would come crashing down. Something was not right still. What was missing? What was it?

It just didn't make sense. It was supposed to be all happy. Sayesha, happy happy happy. Happy!

But why was I sad?

And then I remembered the little girl.

The one on the red bicycle, rushing home from school after the annual day, almost tumbling off her bicycle in her excitement to get home, not even parking it properly, but just pushing it against the wall of the house, tearing through the door, "Mummy!!! See, I won I won! Your daughter is first!" And she ran and put the medals around her mother's neck, and placed the trophies in her arms. Her mother beamed with excitement, while her father quietly looked on with a smile on his face, not wanting to be part of the almost embarrassing mother-daughter drama, but proud nevertheless.

How tacky. Sounds like a chocolate ad, doesn't it?

But this scene is straight from my childhood.

And that's when I realised. That's what was missing.

Phone calls... emails... naah! Nothing quite beats family being there on the spot, physically present, to see our moment, to share it, to live it with us.

Perhaps that's why I was sad in spite of my happy news.

Because somewhere inside me, that little girl still lives, and just like the old days, she wants to dash through the door, show mom her report card and say, "Mummy! See, I won I won! Your daughter is senior editor!"

But she can't.

Damn these long distance relationships...