Fat Chick

"Fat chick, man!" I hear a lot of gals being thus dismissed by my guy friends.

But to me, the term 'fat chick' has a different meaning altogether. A 'fat chick' to me means precisely that. A fat chick.
















In the year 1998, which was my first year at university, I saw a stall put up by the Red Cross Society in the canteen. They were having a charity sale. And that's where I first saw Fat Chick. Almost round in shape, she was sitting there, in all her fat glory, beckoning out to me, "Buy me, Sayesha. Buy me!" Now I am not really a soft toy person (I think teddy bears are ugly) but this one was special. The stall holder showed me how Fat Chick flapped her wings if you pulled the ring on her tail. I decided to buy her. I was due at a lecture in five minutes, but I did not want to come back after it, in case someone else had already bought Fat Chick by then.

After I'd paid, it suddenly struck me how fat she really was (I'd say she'd fit snugly in a hollow sphere of diameter over 1 foot), and how embarrassing it would be if I walked into the lecture theatre, holding Fat Chick in my hands. So I did something quite cruel. I stuffed her into my school bag. On top of my books and lecture notes and everything. It was really difficult, but I managed. And I rushed to attend the lecture I was already late for.

As I tried to slink into the lecture theatre, I realised that all the 'safe seats' (the ones at the back) were taken, and the only vacant seat was the one right under the nose of the lecturer. I sheepishly made my way to that seat and plonked myself down. As I caught my breath, the professor announced, "Please take out your lecture notes and turn to page xxx."

Horror of horrors, as I hurriedly pulled the zip of my school bag to open it, Fat Chick suddenly popped out and rolled down on the floor (yes, she actually rolled! Did I mention she is round, like absolutely round?) between the lecturer and me. He paused for a full ten seconds, looking at Fat Chick on the floor, the open school bag and finally at my red face. As the rest of the class burst into laughter, I picked Fat Chick up and stuffed her back into my bag.

I don't think I can ever forget the look on the lecturer's face.