Monday, July 25, 2005

Fat Chick

"Fat chick, man!" I hear a lot of gals being thus dismissed by my guy friends.

But to me, the term 'fat chick' has a different meaning altogether. A 'fat chick' to me means precisely that. A fat chick.
















In the year 1998, which was my first year at university, I saw a stall put up by the Red Cross Society in the canteen. They were having a charity sale. And that's where I first saw Fat Chick. Almost round in shape, she was sitting there, in all her fat glory, beckoning out to me, "Buy me, Sayesha. Buy me!" Now I am not really a soft toy person (I think teddy bears are ugly) but this one was special. The stall holder showed me how Fat Chick flapped her wings if you pulled the ring on her tail. I decided to buy her. I was due at a lecture in five minutes, but I did not want to come back after it, in case someone else had already bought Fat Chick by then.


After I'd paid, it suddenly struck me how fat she really was (I'd say she'd fit snugly in a hollow sphere of diameter over 1 foot), and how embarrassing it would be if I walked into the lecture theatre, holding Fat Chick in my hands. So I did something quite cruel. I stuffed her into my school bag. On top of my books and lecture notes and everything. It was really difficult, but I managed. And I rushed to attend the lecture I was already late for.

As I tried to slink into the lecture theatre, I realised that all the 'safe seats' (the ones at the back) were taken, and the only vacant seat was the one right under the nose of the lecturer. I sheepishly made my way to that seat and plonked myself down. As I caught my breath, the professor announced, "Please take out your lecture notes and turn to page xxx."

Horror of horrors, as I hurriedly pulled the zip of my school bag to open it, Fat Chick suddenly popped out and rolled down on the floor (yes, she actually rolled! Did I mention she is round, like absolutely round?) between the lecturer and me. He paused for a full ten seconds, looking at Fat Chick on the floor, the open school bag and finally at my red face. As the rest of the class burst into laughter, I picked Fat Chick up and stuffed her back into my bag.

I don't think I can ever forget the look on the lecturer's face.



17 comments:

Sahil said...

Over 1 foot in diameter? Dude that's one SERIOUSLY fat chick.

So you have a thing for fat chicks, eh Sayesha? Hey, whatever rocks your boat.....

Sahil said...

....and a chick that size would LITERALLY do that!

Leon said...

It's a wonder how you have something genuinely funny to say almost everyday.. :-)

Shuuro said...

Entire class found a reason to laugh!. Damn! i can't, may be i lost sense of humor!, perhaps i need to get back to my jolly mood :((.

Sayesha said...

Yeah, Sahil, she is one fat chick!
But I may have to give her away when I move. :(

Kroopa Shah (Kr00pz) said...

Now that is one fat chick!! LOL

Starbreez said...

noooooo don't give her away, i can help take care of her (how come it's a her) for a while. never did get to pull that ring.

Aye Kay said...

"..I'd say she'd fit snugly in a hollow sphere of diameter over 1 foot.." ???
Lol. That's probably the only technical statement you've made on this blog. Your engineeirng background starting to show looks like. :-p

Sayesha said...

Starbreez,
Cool, you can adopt her for a while, flap her wings, give her a bath, shampoo her fur, etc. etc. Can? :) Do you know when I was in uni, I used to wash her and hang her to dry on the clothes line along with my clothes? Sounds a bit sadistic, but she used to look adorable! :)

Aye Kay,
I just realised you're right, man! I'm horrified. Horrified!!

Sahil said...

Dude, she's just a [over] stuffed toy.

If I had her, I'd have used her for football practice :)

nin said...

Hey !!! its so cute...yummmmyyyy...lol.

Anonymous said...

The meaty chick...mmm sexy! I'd like some "breast" please....:-)

Ok....i think i took that joke too far....

Rahul said...

That was funny. BTW, nice blog you have got here. Me linking you.

virdi said...

sayesha u could have taken this photo by holding the FAT CHICK in your hand. who cares about the fat chick, all i care about is the hand. when is the sexy hand photo coming?? this century?? atleast one glimse could have come with the fat chick... :-(
stupidest post i should say.. no i am serious.. this post was stupid.. ok its a fat chick... so what?? can i eat it?? can i roast it and have party??
V..
PS: everyone loved the fat chick post and i thought lets be different.. so i said the post sucks.. ;-)

PuNeEt said...

That was damn cool...
So did u bought ne other Fat Chick after that ;-))

. : A : . said...

Hilarious! Funny now, but I am sure back then it was not!

:-)

Neel Arurkar said...

He he. A few weeks ago I saw fluorescent chicks(real live chickens). Fluorescent Pink and fluoroscent green. Painted by their owner(ah cruel). But they were looking really cute.