Catch-up #4

So I'm looking at the date of my last post and in the words of a teenager, I'm going "ZOMG!!!!"

(Ok fine, not just in the words of a teenager. In my words too. Yes, I admit it. I use ZOMG. Well, sometimes OMG just doesn't do it.)

I have neglected the bar a lot in the last 2-3 years. And every time I do it, I find no other way to spring back than to write a catch-up post like this. Composed of all things random and then some more randomness.

This time, it's been too long. A month almost. All my bewdas have probably wandered away, but for some strange reason, I have started getting emails from companies who pretend to have read my blog. They send me 'proposals' such as 'invites for you to write about us', feature me on this 'new social network that helps Indian consumers discover new stuff', getting some 'bucks for your traffic and driving up ranking' or make me 'write something relevant to your blog but relate it to our product'. I ignore all such emails the way one ignores random fraaaandship requests on FB, and most of the time that's that. If their email is a little personalised, I might just drop a reply to say that the bar doesn't feature ads. But sometimes they send a follow-up email which makes me laugh. Especially when they say something like "If at anytime, you are thinking that we are ruining your site revenue strategy, then I will persuade you to believe otherwise." (True story, that.) My "site revenue strategy"?? Hahahahahahahaha.

Honestly, I don't think the bar is what it used to be in terms of traffic, and I am ok with it. I have not been as regular or interesting as I was a few years ago when I was young and foolish. Now I'm just old(er) and foolish. So... here's a message to all these companies -- trust me, you will not make any money advertising here. Even if you are okay with earning 3 cents a year off my blog, I don't want to feature any ads. The bar was and always will be my random hang-out place, it will never be a business. If I didn't make it a business when I had a crazyass number of hits a day, why would I do it now when there are ummm... five people who read it? (Hmm... I should totally write a book called 'The five people who read my blog'. I bet it will make more money than Mitch Albom's book.) I think even Viv doesn't follow the bar anymore. Let's see how long it takes him to express his indignation at the previous statement. *evil grin*

A lot has happened in the last few weeks and I don't know where to start my catch-up post. But I do know that I will refrain from any Xena-related stuff on this post, because it's only once in a blue moon that I don't write about her.

So I will start with the next most important topic to me - Bollywood. I watched 'Special 26' and was not too impressed. I think the standards set by 'A Wednesday' are too high. Plus, after watching him in 'A Wednesday', no self-respecting Jimmy Shergill fan will support a movie that has him playing a pansy.

Speaking of things that disappointed me, I also caught Priyanka Chopra's album 'In my city'. I thunked my head on the wall. I can't believe a former Miss World and a Bollywood A-lister couldn't find someone to at least make the video a little classy.

Speaking of thunking my head on the wall, I read an old issue of Filmfare and you know that section they have been running for 8354876875486 years, where Shatrughan Sinha answers inane questions such as 'What do women want?', sneaking in a 'Salman is God' whenever he can? Yeah, so some girl had asked 'How should one ask the boss for an increase in salary?' And his prize-winning answer (I kid you not) was 'How can you, an intelligent woman, ask me such a question? You have the most important weapons, a smile or tears. But if they fail to shake the boss for a raise then the only potent option one could suggest would be just to sleep over the matter.' Honestly, I fell off my chair when I read that. I cannot even begin to list the number of ways in which his reply is sexist. And this was a prize-winning Q&A. Tsk tsk.

We also recently watched English Vinglish. I had watched it in the theatre but Viv had not because he was watching Xena. But it's such a lovely movie, I totally didn't mind watching it again. Especially when it was in the company of friends. We are trying to see if we can all catch up at least once or twice a month, even if it's just getting together at someone's place to watch a movie. We actually had a Govinda-themed party some time ago, would you believe it? Pizzadude won it hands-down, but I think I was a close second with my light blue capris, a fluorescent green spagetti strap top and a checked shirt containing the colours red, blue, green and black. And oh, bright pink slippers to complete the look. If visions of that are blinding you, try and imagine Pizzadude's attitre. The theme for our next party is 'Wear something that has been lying in your wardrobe forever, but you have never worn it'. That should be interesting.

Speaking of friends, our bestest friends from Dubai came-a-visiting and it was awesome! Guys, if you're reading this (you should be; you're two of the five people!), I miss you! Come back! Soon!

Recently, I had a chance to read Ashwin Sanghi's 'Krishna Key'. I had missed his 'Chanakya's Chant' which I'm told is very good, so I thought I'd try this as I'm very into Indian mythology. And then I read it. No, I made time to read it. And then I finished it. OMG. No, ZOMG. Honestly, I have never read a book worse than this one. Seriously. When I read the end, I did not know what to do and how to get all my precious hours back. A reviewer once said about a book, "You simply can't put this book down. You absolutely need to toss it out of the window." That is exactly how I felt after reading this book.

Viv and I bought Shaun T's Insanity workout program, and goodness, the name speaks for itself. It's just an hour each day, but the workout really lives up to its name. However, you will really feel your fitness level rise. I must warn you though, it is NOT easy. I am still doing the month 1 workouts and will probably never be able to proceed to the month 2 stuff (yes, it is THAT insane), so I keep repeating the month 1 routine. And it kills me. Every time. It's not for nothing that the Insanity people say 'My warm-up > Your workout'. (Disclaimer: I have not received any money from the fit folks at Insanity for the above paragraph. I would be really stupid to sneak in an ad in the very post where I am bashing blog ads.)

Speaking of stuff one can do at home, I actually attempted my first haircut by myself. I frankly can't afford the time to find a babysitter for Xena, and go to a salon for a haircut, especially if I'm going to come back looking like a scarecrow because the stylist can't cut Indian hair. Ok fine, junglee Indian hair. I figured I can't cut it worse than them so why not? It lasted 5 days. The hair-cutting process, not the hair. I actually started cutting bits and pieces whenever Xena was sleeping. On day 3, Viv looked at me funny and I had to explain to him that I was in the middle of a haircut. Thankfully, on day 5, I was happy with the results. So yes, it's possible.

All right, that's it for now. What have you guys been up to? :)