Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Winners (and paranoid Sayesha) never quit!

So rumour has it that my company's CEO has tendered his resignation.

That's it man. So I have seen it all now. Resignations ranging from the toilet cleaner to my boss to my boss' bosses to the CEO now.

And I'm still there.

And I'm reminded of the fact every time any of my ex-colleagues who freelance for me, come to the office. For they take time to visit my cubicle and go, "Sayesha, you're still here?!"

And I sheepishly smile and say, "Yupp.. still here..."

Statistics show that I am close to fulfilling twice the shelf-life of an editor in my department - kids' books. But to the surprise of everyone, and especially the payroll department, I am very close to celebrating my fourth anniversary in the company.

So why why why? Why am I still where I am?

Unveiled for the first time in history, the top ten real reasons why I'm not quitting:

1. What if I quit my job and join a new company, and they give me like... a PC??

2. Worse, what if the PC is old and its screen flickers just like every damn screen of every damn PC shown in every damn hindi movie does??

3. What if my chair is an uncomfortable one??

4. Worse, what if it's one of those un-adjustable low chairs that you make you look at your computer at the same angle that you look at a giraffe's face from??

5. What if they refuse to issue me business cards??

6. Worse, what if the business cards they give me have a typo in my name and they refuse to reprint the cards till I have exhausted all 3000 that they give me in the first round??

7. What if they don't have red Pilot pens??

8. What if the toilets are small and dirty?

9. What if they give me a really stupid sounding email address, just like what I have in my uni, where they chopped off half my name and added the number 0007 (yes, it is indeed triple o seven) to it, making me sound more C-grade agent than secret agent??

10. And the most horrifying one is this - what if they block access to blogspot??????

:O



67 comments:

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

A BIG FAT THENGA TO TGWSTW and all the other gold snatchers in the room.
muahahahahahahaahahah

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

//10. And the most horrifying one is this - what if they block access to blogspot??????

horrors of horrors! indeed!!!! we can't let that happen, now, can we?

:) stay on, lady, & fight strong! :)

bananapen said...

Are these reeeally the real reasons?? :P

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

or, you can chart a treatise with a prospective new company- you know, list of non-negotiable demands include :
#1 cushy chairs #2 red pilot pens etc etc. :)

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

"come come to the office"
tee hee

adi said...

i was waiting frm mornin to b the 1st 1 to write d comment.. and m 6th.. not fair

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

@ adi
ohhhhhhhhh you poor thing.......:p

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

adi,
technically you are third. we don't count the same samples who keep commenting one after the other ;)

Sayesha said...

#Ipanema Gal,
Ah! Lurking eh? :P
And I do have a friend whose office does not allow access to blogspot!!!!!!! :O :O

#Banana,
Haha! You're the most qualified (after me, of course) to answer this. You tell me, any better reasons as to why you think I'm still here? :)

#Ipanema Gal,
Hahaha! I will print this post and take it to my interview! :P

#Adi,
Waiting since morning??? Sheesh! :O Waise you got bronze but for your effort, I should delete all the comments above yours so you can have gold. But I am afraid that if I delete them, Ipanema Gal will delete me. :|

#Ipanema Gal,
Kyun, sahi bola na? :O

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

glares sternly and silently.

that you could even *think* of doing such a thing???

The Girl Who Sold The World said...

*Glares at TGFI and silently wishes that she oversleeps tomorrow morning and gets late for her classes or lab or whatever*

what if they block access to blogspot??????
Nahiiiiiiiiiiiiin!!! *cries like those dukhiya naaris in Bolly flicks*. Don't change your job, don't change it!!! X-(

I hereby issue a blanket warning to you. If you change your job, I shall make sure that each and every one of the bewdas here goes to Singapore and strangles you. Be warned, child! :P

Duhita said...

Aaahhhhh the dreaded comfort zone!:) The reason we come up with such a long list of "real" reasons!:D

xianfu said...

lolz.. yup ur still here.. ^^.. yeah, it's horrrifying to see that wat if they block blogspot?.. lolz!! wat a lovely blog here... visit my blog and tell me wat do u think about it InvernoKL keep up all the good works.. rocKZ!! :p take care, xian

Sahil said...

oh come now... where are the real reasons ur sticking at ur company?

and btw - the screens in indian movies don't flicker, it's just when you take a video of a computer screen, it looks like its flickering because of the refresh rate or smthg.

The true geeks can elaborate further....

bananapen said...

Heheh...
Let's see... could it have something to do with a certain magazine, a coupla fairies, an elf, a Bee and a few lunch-time cameos?
Oh, plus the iMac of course. ;P

Lalit Singh said...

red Pilot pens... hmmmm
thats one helluva reason you shouldnt quit... unless u ahve amassed enough red pilot pens to last you a whole lifetime from the present company

Sayesha said...

#Ipanema Gal,
Sowwie sowwie! *kaan pakadke* :O

#World Girl,
//classes or lab or whatever

Hahahahaha! :D
Dukhiya naari, don't worry, not yet! ;)
Waise bewdas in Singapore sounds good, partyyyyyy! :D

#Duhita,
Sigh sigh sigh... :P

#Xianfu,
Welcome to Sayeshaz! Thanks for dropping by :)

#Sahil,
Sheesh! How geeky! I know I like geeks lekin you are too much! :/

#Banana,
Hehehe... I try to pretend that it's not the pple... cos there were pple long ago too... and they left, didn't they? Sigh...

Ahem... so it has to be all these silly reasons then. :)

Sayesha said...

#Lalit,
I LOVE red pilot pens! Also the purple and pink ones! :P

Prayank said...

LOL ... u gave a completely new perspective to work and workplace ...

btw ... what do u do with 3000 business cards ... it would be like giving ur card to every other person in singapore :)

Jon said...

Interesting set of reasons. I have been asked this question of quitting by my friends too. They keep saying that for the experience I have gained I could get a much higher pay if I switch. Some how I dont get the nerve to do just that. The same paranoia i guess. And I know for sure the other companies my friends suggest definitely dont give access to the internet either while I get 24hrs broadband where I am now.

For the previous post, wow! You really had the patience to read all those stuff and comment on them too. The orkut stuff if always too funny. Another group of people I know are collecting "bad/stupid" references provided by friends on orkut profiles.

Inder said...

i understand... i am about to finish 5 years of my current (and first) job. whenever i go back to offshore office, people look at me as though i am new joinee... that hurts in a strange way. byt still, i like my job and company... WILL I RETIRE IN THIS SAME COMPANY? let me see...

ggop said...

Sayesha,
Believe it or not reason 10. is valid. My friend's company recently blocked access to hotmail, yahoo and gmail accounts from work. And this is in Silicon Valley not in paranoid TCS of yesteryear :-)
GG

dharmu said...

bhai, it makes me think like a goldfish now, wat if they block blogspot? what will i do??
*seen hugging my 70mm screen*

sabse khatarnak postkeliye office mein hi ideas milte hain. yahan block kiya to mein kya karungi???

they blocked orkut few days back. now me planning to send an invite to my manager, she might like the scrap-scrap game and file the acess???

nope, i wont quit this company either,,,, but singapore mein supari business mast hai han,,, aap mujhe PC dooge??? with net access.

dharmu said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
dharmu said...

*are, error message aagaya, and see...comment got posted 2 times??? looks like my office net connection is giving me hand*

(urr,,, ditto translation from a local slang, meaning: ditching me)

Rohit Talwar said...

I don't get to access blogspot from work! X-( SUCKS!

And...iMac's there :D Hahahaa.

Singh said...

My top 5 reasons for staying with a company (they aren't necessarily smart reasons, just true):
1. 24 hr. gym in the office bldg.
2. pretty receptionist (I was 22 then)
3. Foozball table (dept. champion, 2 quarters running).
4. A manager who let us race cars in the office (uh, R/C cars).
5. Lets me work from home.

scipio said...

every damn PC shown in every damn hindi movie does??

Err.. That's coz the scan rate of the film camera and the monitor don't match...

D-oh!!! The nerd in me has surfaced again... :D

satish said...

___
... name and added the number 0007 (yes, it is indeed triple o seven) to it, making me sound more C-grade agent than secret agent??
___

hee hee!

Bond.., Chemical Bond.

bbye!

satish said...

aah! @-)!@#$#%$#$

just visited your orkut profile.

so is this the sexy red halter neck dress we dreamt of everynite..(hee hee!)!!

you look awesome!

Sudipta Chatterjee said...

Oh, come on... I am launching a company with you as the first recruit and all you are expected to do all day is keep writing on blogs. When you get tired of that, you are edit my posts and create children's literature. And we will have special corporate tie-ups with all the red pilot pen manufacturers and business card printers, along with lounge-sized toilets and any other furniture you want! :D

Ok, on a more serious note, I understand why you don't want to quit... it is the factor of being unhappy about something that makes you look for 'greener' pastures on the other side of the river. :)

Shekhar said...

Theirs is the world who are passionate about what they do.

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

@ TGWSTW,
//oversleeps tomorrow morning and gets late for her classes or lab or whatever

i got the gold. i got the gold. nya nya nya na na

Ramkumar said...

hey! chopping ur name into half and adding 0007 is cool.
frnd:whats ur id?
you:say0007
frnd:0007 now tell me what is ur id?
you:?!?!??
i was also worried abt toilet when i switched my company. BTW, what do u do..i mean ur profession.

Suds said...

That was hilarious. :) I agree with u totally on 10... Without blogspot spending 8 hours will be tough...

Enjoy

Cogito said...

hehe...good one. No comments about browsing speed and some nice cafeteria ?

lil _kath said...

...** what if they block access to blogspot?**
...lol! don't ever resign Kawaii..never ok? :P

cheers,
-kathy-

Raj said...

When I had to change my job, I made sure that I joined a company which give better PCs and does not block websites. I refuse to work without the internet. I mean, if you dont trust your employees then I dont want to work in your company.

Harsha said...

10. And the most horrifying one is this - what if they block access to blogspot??????

lol here... I dont what i would do either ... I spend 2 hrs on blogspot in the morning, talk about low productivity ;)

Sumana said...

I guess if you are happy with your workplace and work, there is no reason you should quit.

I cant comment much on this becuase in the past 3 years that i have been working i have changed jobs thrice ;-)

So i think its great that you are not giving up!!

Sumit Tada said...

Bilkul sahi bola, itni saari facilities aur kahan milengi???

Waise stopping blogger.com can't prevent the really determined ones!!
Dekho ji you can post by sendng the mails to the unique ID that Blogger provides with every account (I always use that coz Blogger takes tooooooo long to open on my connection and Gmail rocks!!)
And then use any RSS reader(or MY Yahoo/MSN/Google personalise homepage) to read other ppl's blogs. And there are even services available that will send the latest posts to you by email!!
Haan lekin writing comments can be more difficult. But then you can always have a GPRS/EDGE connection on your mobile phone and download free Opera Mini on any Java enabled phone and Bingo!! Whole un-restricted net is with you all the time!!

But seems Mighty Sayesha won't like using such secondary means.......hai naa??

The Girl Who Sold The World said...

@TGFI:

Dekh loongi!!! Tere khaane mein main aaj extra mirchi dalwaane waali hoon! X-(

Phoenix said...

only the last makes any sense, and i'm not even surprised

pradster13 said...

from all that i have read about your workplace....seems like a nice place to me...i would never wanna quit...though i hope they give you something other than 50 cans of OJ

Rebellion said...

LOL!!
What awesome list of reasons yaar!! I agree with TGFI, go in for a list of non negotiable demands if you wish to join another company! :P

But hey.. no blogspot?? No posts from you :O:O:O
Nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.. Yeh nahi ho saktaaaaaaaa
*holds her head as the world goes round around her* (:P)
Stay there only chup chap..
How can you even think of leaving only coz others are?? Not done, no proper reasoning, your appeal for resignation is not accepted.. You continue with the present company :P

Take care,
Aarti

Lalit Singh said...

PINK.... PINK???
Who writes with pink pens???
EWWWWWWW

Bhaarat said...

Why dont you just say that you love your work and the workplace. All these reasons (rather justifications to pacify yourself) can be resolved with amost NIL effort. If you disagree with me just drop me an email. I will offer free consultancy to solve these trivial issues because you have been helping me a lot in my improving my language through your blogs.

spamtaneous said...

PC chair businesscard pilotpen toilet internet.... i thought these problems were only in my office ..now i know..these r global :-

Nirwa said...

Tough times never last, Tough Sayesha does! :P :P :P

Don't you quit your job now! :P I know Krrish in Singapore, he'll come and make you watch the movie on loop! :P

Nirwa

Sayesha said...

#Prayank,
Ahem, got carried away there... yeah I'll have to stand at the train station and give one each to the passengers. :O

#Jon,
Yeah, I've got the same issue. I'd probably get a way better salary if I switch. Jus wondering why the hell I don't! :D

#Inder,
Retire in the same company?? Wow! Hope you retire as the CEO! :)

#Ggop,
WHAT???? All email blocked???? I'd quit in a day! :/

#Dharmu,
Hahahaha! I rarely post from work, but I do need to read blogs and comments every few hours! :P
ps: Tu Singapore aa toh sahi, tujhko PC, apple, watermelon sab milega! :D

#Rohit,
I have an e-mac at work. Muahahahaha! :D

#Singh,
Gym in the office bldg?? I'm so jealous!! :/

#Scipio,
I knew some geek would come up with an explanation! Hehehe! :P
Don't worry, I'm sure there'll be others... apparently my blog is popular with geeks cos I have confessed that I have a soft corner for them. :P

#Satish,
//Bond... Chemical bond.

Hahahaha! :D

//so is this the sexy red halter neck dress we dreamt of everynite..(hee hee!)!!

Sheesh! Naughty boy! :D

//you look awesome!

Thanks dear... ho jata hai kabhi kabhi :P

#Sudipta,
Aha! I have a new job offer! When can I join, boss? :P

//it is the factor of being unhappy about something that makes you look for 'greener' pastures on the other side of the river. :)

Totally agree. But I feel that there should be more reasons than that... I just can't seem to find mine! :/

#Shekhar,
Hmmm....

#Ipanema Gal,
Gosh, age reverse mein ja raha hai kya? Teenagers ke saamne aisi bachkani harkat?? :/

#Ramkumar,
Hahaha! You forget that Sayesha is just a nick :)

To answer your qn, I work as a senior editor in a children's book publishing company.

#Suds,
Hahahaha! :D

#Cogito,
Browsing speed! OMG yes!! Very important point!

Cafeteria... hahaha... nothing can be worse than my company's cafeteria so I am not too worried about that :P

#Kathy,
Top up my salary, babe. Then I'll stay :P

#Raj,
But can you ask at an interview, "Do you block blogspot?" or "Are your computers fast?" Hehehe :P

#Harsha,
Hahaha!! My statistics are about the same :P

#Sumana,
Am happy with my workplace and work, but not too happy with my salary and the frequent resignations. :(

#Sumit,
Baap re baap!!!!!!!! Sumit, you're the geek of the highest order!!! :D

#World Gal,
Tu Ipanema Gal ki chef kabse ban gayi? :D

#Phoenix,
Hmmm...

#Pradster,
Yeah, we make it a fun place... but the people who make the place fun are leaving at a steady rate :(

#Aarti,
Nahin yaar... posts won't stop, because I don't blog from work, I blog from home... it's only the reading and commenting that will stop if they block blogger :)

#Lalit,
Dude, I don't "write" as such with my pink pens. My job requires me to mark-up and murder other people's hard work you see. So I have to do it in an ink that is different from the original manuscript. Red and pink stand out nicely. :)

#Bhaarat,
I love the work and workplace yaar... I just don't love pple leaving :(

#Spammy,
The last bit of your comment is missing, so I dunno what expression you have on your face right now... you seemed a little pissed off the last time you commented on my blog.

#Princess Nirwa,
Hehehe... I'm checking out Krrish's abs and biceps tomo! ;)

Sudeep said...

bang-on the last one
yahan sab blocked hain except blogspot... n i also face the question "Still there?"

attrition is really high.. juniors bhi chodkar gaye mere..
logoko lagta hoga ki isse dusri company leti nahi hogi.. yahan kisne le liya kya pataa :D

Ankur said...

witty, humorous yet true. these r the small things that can make u stick to the company for long.

I am also a victim of free internet and flexi timings,,so cant leave company even after 3 yrs. Where industry average is abt an yr.

Rohit Talwar said...

But they're dumb machines! DUMB! :|

Dev said...

Ok... I'm 54th. Not bad, not bad at all for Sayesha's world.

No. 1 reason why I like my company -> It's the only one in Mangalore, which is my home town. :):)

Everybody who can, quits my company as soon as possible. So the first question I get when I meet somebody after a long time is "Are you still working there?" *incredulous look*

Some solutions for u:

//Worse, what if it's one of those un-adjustable low chairs that you make you look at your computer at the same angle that you look at a giraffe's face from??
Chop the legs off the desk.

//Worse, what if the business cards they give me have a typo in my name and they refuse to reprint the cards till I have exhausted all 3000 that they give me in the first round??
Send one to each of ur blog readers - that'll finish 'em off. We know how your name is spelt.
P.S Is not to send to peoples wanting to mack frand ship.

//What if they don't have red Pilot pens??
Flick a years supply while leaving. Visit once a year to look in on old friends, repeat cycle.

//what if they block access to blogspot??????
Horrors. This one is too much, even for me. *theatrically brings hand to head*

Rays Of Sun said...

I bet this are not 'real'reason:P

If that is the case then :O..goes my reaction;)

OK!
1. What if I quit my job and join a new company, and they give me like... a PC??

Every company does give a PC, isnt it? If S'pore airport can have the worlds best PC..they better give u one:)

//What if my chair is an uncomfortable one??//
Do editors get uncomfy chairs??

//What if they refuse to issue me business cards??//
Its better that way..U wont have unwanted ppl calling u:)

//Worse, what if the business cards they give me have a typo in my name //
Business card with a typo:O Kaheen dekha hai kya:P

// What if they don't have red Pilot pens??//
Buy your own:P

//What if they give me a really stupid sounding email address//
Thats trivial isnt it?

//And the most horrifying one is this - what if they block access to blogspot?????//
Simple..blog from home:)

perverse_net_stalker_Ha said...

(Okie, this comment doesn't really belong here but I'm not a regular to your blog and you wouldn't have noticed it if I'd posted it at the right place. Take it as if I'm posting it for the post titled "Are you a hot sexy guys wanting to do frand ships with honest and lovely person?")

Well some of your bracketed comments weren't amusing even though you tried really hard.

To the guys above who haha-ed and hihi-ed I'd say, don't forget your past when you went about chat rooms looking for female partners to have some so-called perverse fun.

To Sayesha,
I've read your blog from time to time and have found it amusing and nice. Nevertheless, this post of yours(which makes me write my first comment) was too sarcastic. Probably you didn't read up carefully before signing up on orkut but I'll reiterate it for you.. Orkut is an online community. Quoting their front page, "We are committed to providing an online meeting place where people can socialize, make new acquaintances and find others who share their interests." And the last time I checked, friendship wasn't really about correct grammatical English nor was it about coming up with a witty pickup line. So, stop being so disparaging and sarcastic about people who have carefully looked through your profile and have put in the effort to write you a scrap. You never know when you'll be lonely enough to search for friends online.

Sayesha said...

#Sudeep,
Hahaha! Yeah, my juniors also left! :P

#Ankur,
Flexi timings rock man... I wish I had them too! :)

#Rohit,
All machines are dumb, sweetheart. :)

#Dev,
Hahahaha! Amazing tips man! :D

#ROS,
I can't believe you addressed each of the points... tera kya hoga baby? :)

#Perverse net stalker,
Welcome to Sayeshaz! :)

Some points for you:

1. All comments reach my gmail, so even if you post a comment on an old post, I will know and will reply. :)

2. As for my bracketed comments, those were my immediate reactions when I read the frand ship messages. All of my reactions and thoughts do not have to be amusing for your pleasure. This is a blog, not a humour column.

3. Just because you used to go around chat rooms looking for female partners to have some co-called perverse fun, don't assume that all guys did. Besides, even if they did, what's wrong in having the ability to look back and laugh at our own deeds? I could write a full-length post on how RIDICULOUS the clothes we wore in the late 80s and early 90s looked.

4. //this post of yours(which makes me write my first comment) was too sarcastic.

I refuse to moderate my sarcasm levels to suit your pleasure levels. Hope that's okay :)

5. //friendship wasn't really about correct grammatical English nor was it about coming up with a witty pickup line.

Friendship is also not about picking a random profile and copy-pasting the same line to a million people. Neither is it about "one hot fun". Maybe your definition of friendship is different from mine. Accept it.

6. This post was not a high-horse "Oh our English is so good" post. The bad English in the lines was just one of the things that made me laugh. I don't claim to be a master of the English language and I am very aware of my weak points.

7. //stop being so disparaging and sarcastic about people who have carefully looked through your profile and have put in the effort to write you a scrap.

Sweetheart, like I mentioned, my orkut profile has nothing. NOTHING! There is no need to "carefully" look through my profile. Those who "carefully looked through my profile and sent me a message" probably just looked at my pic and sent the message. And yes, by some stroke of luck, that pic is a really good one. I don't want "friends" to whom my pic is my profile. Is that so bad?

8. Lastly, I would have taken your comments much more seriously if you'd had the guts to not hide behind a link back to some random website. What do you think? :)

Thanks for dropping by my blog, and hope to see you around, this time as yourself. :)

comfortably_numb said...

All points accepted. Sorry, that's the way I felt and I guess to each his own opinion.

Regarding point 8, yep.. you are right. I guess I'm not gutsy enough to submit my blog to the scrutiny of such brilliant bloggers and well, what would I blog about, my online cyber-sex escapades?! :p

Anyways, *very* nice blog and I'll keep coming back to Sayeshaz.

Sayesha said...

#Comfortably numb,
Yeah, to each his/her own it is. :)

And nice work with the sarcasm there about my *very brilliant* blog. I like it! :)

And oh, if you HAVE a blog and yet don't sign in to post comments here, that just makes your case so much weaker. You, without showing me your blog, judge me on how judgemental a blogger I am? Tch tch. :)

whatisthebigdeal? said...

Newsflash:

This is Singapore!! People are given free colored stationery and good chairs and business cards and corporate credit cards!!

Again, This is Singapore, even railway toilets are clean, hullo!

What's the big deal? There are no hellish workplaces, at least not as bad as you make them out to be.

Sayesha said...

#Big deal guy,
Hahaha! Looks like you have been lucky! There ARE hellish workplaces, my dear :)

At my first job, the CEO made racist remarks at me and refused to issue me name cards for a while because he wasn't sure I would stay on. Read more about this hellish workplace here
:)

Apy said...

great .jus great .. i tried to comment yest but "blogger the great" din let me.. n today i m leavin 61st comment.. jus perfect

anyways .. jus wanted to say .. u gt sm real serious reasons gal..lol

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

points and laughs at apy. nambar 61!!!!! hhahahahahaahha :)

spamtaneous said...

#sayesha
pissed off...me...kyu...aisa nahi hai...and sometimes i comment just for the heck of it... just to let you that im still arnd...so if u dont understand them...jus ignore :)

Sayesha said...

#Apy,
Hahaha! Yeah, and some pple seem to be taking this post way too seriously! :O

#Ipanema Gal,
Arre ab tu Apy ke peechhe lag gayi? Naya bakra dhoond liya huh? :D

#Spammy,
Arre nahin re... it's just that when you use the word 'fart' in your comment, I wonder what about the post pissed you off so bad...
ps: And did ya manage to find me on Orkut? :D

Anonymous said...

best regards, nice info
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Anonymous said...

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