To pee or not to pee

This week, I complete 3 years at my present job. Considering that the shelf life of an editor here is 2 years, I have seen a lot.

And I've done it all. At least that's what I used to think. Till yesterday. When I did something I had not done before.

I entered the guys' restroom!

Ok, the thing is, every year our company gives us 24 cans of orange juice as an early Christmas gift. It is not very pleasant in taste, and I only drink it if I am feeling very sleepy at work. And today, I had had one too many cans, without realising it. My bladder was in serious need of the restroom before I left for my dinner appointment with colleagues.

So when I got to the ladies' room, I groaned in dismay.

There was a small problem. Auntie's bright yellow "Toilet cleaning in progress" sign was blocking the doorway.

No post about the toilets in my company can be complete without talking a bit about Auntie first.

Auntie is Auntie. No one knows her real name. To one and all, she is just the terrifying toilet-cleaning Auntie. Everyone tries to avoid her gaze and run past her as fast as their legs will allow. Cos Auntie has a habit of bellowing at you, in languages that were last used by the stone age man.

Not to mention that she picks the oddest of hours to clean the toilets, not sympathising even once with bursting bladders.

But at least she warns us.

At 5:50 pm, 13 minutes before we close work for the day, Auntie turns around to face our cubicles and bellows.

"Aaaaachhhaiaaaattttthiaaaaaachaaaaaaaiiiiiiaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!"

That's what it sounds like to me. Till this date, I have not been able to figure out exactly what she says. It is loud, energetic, and threatening. Quite like a war cry. And I believe that just like me, many people don't even know whether it's in Chinese or Malay. I believe it is not English either.

But every one knows what that sound indicates.

"People, if you wanna use the toilet, do so NOW. I am gonna start cleaning it in five minutes and if you dare to come and use it once I have started cleaning, I will spank you with my toilet brush and flush you down the toilet."

And boy, is she serious.

So the moment the "Aaaaachhhaiaaaaattttthiaaaaaachaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!" phrase leaves her mouth, people leave their cubicles like darts to empty their bladders so that they won't walk funny on the way home.

So when Auntie almost left the company a coupla weeks ago, many people and bladders were relieved.

Auntie's resignation. That's another story.

At present, my company is going thru a crisis. Our competitor company is scouting all the top guys and many of them have already crossed over. So coupla weeks ago, when I heard that Auntie had tendered her resignation, I went "What??? They don't even spare our toilet cleaners?? Now they've head-hunted Auntie too???"

But strangely enough, Auntie was back and bellowing two days later. Which made me suspicious about my company funds. I wonder if she was the only employee my company could afford to head-hunt back into the company.

Anyway, going back to the beginning of the story, yes, today, I entered the guys' restroom.

(I believe the last time I did this was on a dare, when I entered the guys' toilet in university, smiled at a very visibly disturbed guy, and then coolly walked out. But that was more like a tourist visiting a 'not-so-interesting but famous nevertheless' monument in a foreign land.)

Anyway, so hearing my groan of dismay upon seeing Auntie's yellow board, one of the designers, K, suggested, "Sayesha, just use the guys' restroom lah!"

"What??? K, are you crazy??? I'm not gonna use the guys' restroom! They would be so startled to see a girl in there!"

(Visions of screaming guys running helter-skelter upon seeing me in there crossed my mind. But maybe only girls would do that if they spot a guy in the ladies'?!)

K said, "I've done it before! Do it! Otherwise you'll have to go to the toilet on another floor. Just go in lah, I will guard the entrance and not let any guys in till you come out."

Bless her, I rushed in and out, managing to freak out only one guy who was already inside.

What a way to celebrate the third anniversary in the company.

Now I think I've done it all.