No control!

I may play the fool most of the time, but I rarely play pranks. So when I discovered a ye olde text document saved on my computer as evidence of the last prank I played, I had no choice but to ask the 'prankee' for permission to post it on my blog.

This was in my final year at university. I was talking to my friend Rahul on ICQ. Suddenly, I saw this freshie Sanjiv at my door. He had come to pick up his dinner. (We used to get an Indian caterer to provide dinner for a bunch of people. The food was delivered to my hostel room every night, and everyone would come and pick it up from there.)

So when I saw the freshie at the door, I brb'ed Rahul.

By the time I got back on the computer, the evil forces in my head were already at work. I had decided to play a prank on Rahul.

I pretended to be a very lost and technologically-challenged Sanjiv on ICQ.

This is a copy-paste of the original transcript.

Of course, names have been changed to protect the identities of the hapless people involved.

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Rahul 8/16/2001 9:02 PM gone?

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:03 PM Sanjiv here

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:03 PM anha!!! howcome???!!! :)

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:03 PM I mean Sanjiv here. I am Sanjiv.

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:04 PM Hi Sanjiv! wat happened to Sayesha! and how come u r snooping into other ppl's accts???!!! :)

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:05 PM no I came here to collect my food from Sayesha. I order from jaggies

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:05 PM still 2 more qns unanswered...! :)

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:06 PM no I am not snooping. she asked me to check because something was blinking at the bottom of the screen

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:07 PM hmm...:) Okhay...!

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:07 PM so how are you?

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:08 PM hehe... I am fine... thank u... How are u?

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:09 PM I am ok. and I am still not snooping just checking my email account to see if there are any new messages

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:10 PM :) okhay... I wasnt accusing u...! Sayesha gone off?

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:10 PM Sayesha is here only. She was watching a movie on the computer. Now I am also watching.

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:11 PM You are Rahul isnt it?

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:11 PM //You are Rahul isnt it?? who did u think this was till now?

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:12 PM no I was confused because on the screen I see Rahul with an eye. so I thought that I should confirm

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:13 PM The eye means I am invisible to ppl till I dont message them... and which movie u ppl watching?!

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:14 PM but why are you invisible to people? We are watching the Sridevi movie

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:15 PM invisible to avoid ppl msging me for the heck of it... wat can u do when some 150 ppl are in ur list and half of them msg u...?

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:16 PM you mean 75 people message you at the same time? Doesnt your computer crash?

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:17 PM I said what if they do...? SO I remain invisible... to avoid unnecessary msgs...:)

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:18 PM but tell me doesnt your computer crash if suppose you receive 75 messages?

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:18 PM of course it wudnt!!!

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:18 PM and is Sayesha sitting there and enjoying this enlightening conversation the 2 of us are having rite now?

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:20 PM Sayesha is sitting on the floor and eating her dinner. that is why I am sitting on her computer

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:20 PM and she knows we are having this wonderful conversation? :)

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:21 PM no she is talking to her room-mate. she is hardly watching the movie. I think she doesnt like the movie

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:22 PM are you invisible?

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:23 PM because you are not replying now?

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:23 PM I am here...

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:24 PM are u invisible?

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:24 PM I am not invisible once I msg u...

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:25 PM oh okay but when u just went off now were u invisible to me also?

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:25 PM no, I wasnt... as long as u see me 'online' on ICQ, I am not invisible

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:25 PM ok, tell Sayesha this: Not to let other ppl use her comp and have fun with her ICQ...:)))

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:25 PM if u were some wicked chap with not so good intentions, u can really get her into trouble, cant u? :)

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:26 PM what can I do with her icq? I mean I can only talk to u or whoever is not invisible only. Right?

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:26 PM u can message some other chap some wierd stuff, cant u?

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:26 PM weird stuff? what weird stuff? I dont know a thing about icq!

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:26 PM I cant see u online on icq! does that mean u r invisible?

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:27 PM I donno why... I am online... Did u tell her the thing I asked u to...? if not, tell her NOW...:)

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:28 PM I did. She said "Sanjiv, write whatever u want to"

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:29 PM hmm... too bad for her... now u choose some random person online in her list, and send him/her some gaali... See, she has given u permission!!!!!!!!

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:30 PM tell me some gaali. I dont know what to write. And where is her list? I cant see anything. whenever yr message blinks I click on it

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:31 PM double click on the flower icon... u will see ICQ and list

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:31 PM can I come to your room will u teach me ICQ? Sayesha was saying she was going to your room later to learn some photo (photoshop) thing? Can I come too?

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:31 PM ok, tag along...:)

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:31 PM u mean the green flower? that doesnt look like a flower

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:32 PM yah, the green flower...

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:32 PM I clicked on it. It says sonique playlist editor.

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:32 PM nah, that's not it... another flower...?

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:33 PM there is no other flower. there is a loudspeaker and a triangle with a head on it

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:33 PM else do this: Press Control + Shift + 'A' all together...

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:33 PM I think she doesnt have control key

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:34 PM click on the bluddy control key... left, down end of keybd!!!!!

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:34 PM there is no key that says control!!!!!!!!!

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:34 PM ctrl !!!

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:35 PM oh

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:35 PM u should have said "ctrl". You said "control".

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:35 PM is this the first time u using a comP? :)))

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:35 PM hahaha:)

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:35 PM no I use it in hall 7 computer room to send emails

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:36 PM hmm...! and u dont know the control key...!!

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:36 PM but I never use control key for emailing

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:36 PM I think hall comps dont have control key

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:36 PM shaddup...!!! EVERY computer has a ctrl key!!!!!

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:36 PM but the one in hall ??

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:37 PM IT DOES!!!!!!!!!

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:37 PM maybe I havent seen

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:37 PM yah, so say so... there are no comps without control key...

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:37 PM whats the meaning of the toilet sign here?

Sayesha 8/16/2001 9:37 PM near Chetan's name on her list?

Rahul 8/16/2001 9:38 PM toilet sign???!!!

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Yupp, that's the end of it. By then, Rahul was so exasperated that I felt sorry for him. You could see how frustrated he was, and was yet trying to "be nice to the freshie". Also, I couldn't continue because of the insane amount of laughing I was doing. So I had to stop this amazingly entertaining conversation. And guess what? Rahul was at my door in two minutes! I took a while to even open the door because I could not stop laughing.








<--And oh, if you're curious, this was the 'toilet sign'. The 'Occupied (Urgent Msgs)' mode. I always thought it looked like a raised little finger. Hence the name 'toilet sign'. :D



I don't think I had laughed harder in that entire semester.

I'm so glad I saved the conversation. Even now, four years later, every time I read it, it cracks me up.