Saturday, June 25, 2005

SO KHOOL!

When I was a teenage schoolgirl, I worshipped this 20-something female who lived in the neighbourhood. To me, she was 'The Goddess of All Things'. She looked fabulous, was really smart, dressed well, carried herself with amazing grace, and did all the right things. She was the perfect grown-up, and I would hang around her all the time, telling her every now and then HOW KHOOL I thought she was, and how much I wanted to be like her.

Today, I had the opportunity to see the other side. Here's the full story.

I woke up really early this morning as I had to go and volunteer at a fund-raising event organised by the Student Volunteer Corp. I was running late, my Filipino maid was cleaning the house, and my housemate was still asleep. I knocked on my housemate's door and bellowed, "Hey, I'm off, can you pay the maid once she's done?" My housemate mumbled something back. "She'll pay you." I told the maid, as I rushed for the door. The maid looked at me with astonished eyes and after struggling to express herself (her English is not very good) said, "So apter I pinis, I knock her?" I had no time to laugh. But I wanted to say, "Yes, you knock her, girl. You knock her out and do whatever you can to get your money, but I gotta run now!" (This actually has nothing to do with the rest of the post, but it was just very funny.)

So I reached the Youth Park and set up my henna stall. A large group of teenage schoolgirls was also volunteering at the event. A giggly bunch of them came to my stall and plonked themselves on the chairs around me.

"Are you the henna girl?" One of them said with a smile.

"Henna girl? Errr.. yeah, I suppose I'm the henna girl!"

"Can I get something done on my wrist?" One of them asked shyly.

"Sure! What design do you want?"

"Could you just write 'Linkin Park' on my wrist?"

"Err... Just write 'Linkin Park'? Ummm.... all right!"

As I wrote the words on her wrist, she said, "Ok, that is just SO KHOOL! You're just SO KHOOL! You're the first grown-up I've seen who can spell 'Linkin Park'! All the others spell it as 'Linking'! Can you imagine that???"

Ah well. I really had nothing to say.

"So where is your shop located?" Another one asked.

"What shop?"

"Your henna shop?"

"Oh, I don't have a henna shop. I just do it for fun, and once in a while for fund-raising."

"Really?? What do you do then?"

"I'm the editor of a children's magazine."

"Really??? That's just SO KHOOL!"

Another girl came along and asked hesitatingly, "Can I get henna done? But I don't have enough coupons, am down to my last 1-dollar one!"

"No worries. Come, take a seat." I offered.

"Ok, you just ROCK! Doesn't she?" She asked as she dropped the coupon into the sealed box. All heads nodded in unison.

"Are you a local Indian?" Another one asked. She was a local Indian.

"Nope, I'm an Indian from India."

"Oh! So you must know Hindi! And you must know Bollywood movies!"

"Yes, I do."

"So what do you think of Zayed Khan?"

"Zayed Khan? Well... I think he looks better in real life than in his movies."

The girl suddenly made a dash, almost upsetting my table. In a minute, she was back with two other breathless Indian girls.

"OK, ASK HER! SHE HAS ACTUALLY SEEN ZAYED KHAN!!!" She gushed.

"Oh my God NOOOOO! Really?????" The others gushed too.

"Yes, I have."

"Who else? Who else?" They chanted excitedly.

And I had no choice but to recount what the Grand Hyatt knows.

In a while, I had a raptured audience at the stall, who then proceeded to ask me everything else about my life. Every now and then, a new girl would join the group, and the whole cycle would be repeated. "Ok, you have to listen to this! She is an engineer, who works as an editor, and she's really smart 'cos she came here on this really KHOOL scholarship. And she does henna for fun and fund-raising, and she's seen like a million Bollywood actors in real life, and she knows how to spell 'Linkin Park'! And look at her earrings, they are just SO KHOOL, and so are her bangles. And don't you just love her nails? She's just SO KHOOL!"

The other stall holders were giving me very amused looks. I could not even tell the girls that it really wasn't "SO KHOOL" and that their "KHOOL idol" was actually embarrassed to bits about all that gushing.

But then I remembered my early teens.

And I finally knew what it felt like to be considered by teenage schoolgirls as 'The Goddess of All Things'.



22 comments:

Anonymous said...

the Bhai has turned into super KHOOL Bhen . :)

Sayesha said...

Hey Soldier,
I did want to meet you guys for dinner, but was exhausted after the day's work at the stall (that too in the hot sun), and just wanted to go home and crash. Will see ya at the party tomorrow! Wear your 'gay shirt'! ;)

Ashwin,
Hahahaha! You make me sound Gujju, man! :P

Sayesha said...

Ok baba, let's end this discussion now. :) I don't want to get into another long discussion with you and Sahil about what's gay and bitchy, and what's not, all over again.

It's not KHOOL.

;)

anubhav said...

Nice post I enjoyed reading it.

Anonymous said...

hahhaha - I don't know whats funnier, the way that you described SO perfectly how your filipino maid said "so apter i pinis, I knock her" - or soldier's insistence that his shirt is not gay :P

But that's awesome you do volunteer work. Most of us just get so caught up in our routine, that all we do is THINK about doing volunteer work, but never get around to it. At least, thats how it is with me. And to top it off, you get to do something you enjoy, and get young girls to idolize you.

Not bad, not bad at all.

Maybe this could be the start of a new gang. "Sayesha and her bitches". hahahaha j/k.

Anonymous said...

oh, and i'm just playing with u soldier. ;) I'm sure you'll rock when you wear the shirt today....

Sayesha said...

Here we go again! No wonder Aye Kay said he loved reading the nonsensical banter between the three of us! :)

We should meet some day. Before Soldier leaves Singapore. That will also verify whether Sahil really lives in Singapore or not! Muahahaha! :D

Anonymous said...

Arre yaar, at least on Sundays you shouldn't get up this early. Its just not normal.

Next thing I know, you'll tell me you wake up early because you go to the temple everyday.

Sayesha said...

Well, if you live in Singapore (ahem! ahem!) you're up early too! What for? Pooja ki thaali taiyaar karne ke liye? Hahahaha!

Sorry to disappoint you man, but Sayesha is not into mandirs. Anything that's overly religious, freaks her out.

Anonymous said...

Well I had majboori, thats why I'm up early. I was bed-ridden all day with my 105 degree fever (now that was a real nightmare), and having slept on and off for the past 24 hours meant that I would but naturally be up early.

And plz, I am far from being disappointed.

btw - Virdi yaar, where you gone? You shouldn't get upset over these small-small things: "badein badein desho mein aise chotti-chotti baatein hoti hain"

oh, and Sayesha, you always talk about yourself in the third person? Sahil doesn't.

Anonymous said...

congratulations to you and me.

to you for having 10000 visitors to your blog.

to me for being the 10000th visitor.

do i get a prize?

Siddhu said...

Why did you speel Cool as Khool? Okay, maybe a stupid question - I guess Khool is a cool way of saying cool. Or rather, Khool is a Khool way of saying cool. Me guess right?

Btw, I'm visitor number 10020. I wsa so close to being 10,000.

Don't I get a prize? Puhleeaze?

I'm not a teenage schoolgirl. In fact, I'm not a teenage anything, but I'll say you're khool too (if the prize is in cash, that is. ;) )

Sayesha said...

Hey Aye Kay,
Yeah man, I'm still the same ol' henna buff. And nice bumping into you outside CM today! :)

Sahil,
10000 visitors? I've got 10000 visitors? Ok, there's got to be something wrong with the tabulation. I only enabled the counter in May! There's no way I could have got 10000 visitors in less than 2 months. Anyway, you'll get your prize. Bolo, dil kya chahta hai?

Siddhu,
That's the way the li'l girls pronounced the word. Khool! :)

Soldier,
I agree with you. Sahil should totally have his own blog. And when are the three of us meeting?

Anonymous said...

Enlightened souls? Or perhaps a schizo? hehe - actually, I think when used appropriately, like when u guys do, talking in the third person is quite cool. Esp when u've reached celebrity status levels (10,000 hits..) you might just as well be called "The Soldier" and "The Sayesha".

Oh - THAT'S what that picture was? Yeah its not flowery enough to be gay - the red flowers must be real big, yellow just doesn't do it. See if you can get one on ur next holiday.

Soldier - don't quit writing your blogs. I quite enjoy them, and for enlightened souls such as yourself, it would barely take you a few minutes each day.

Thanks for trying to get me to get my own blog. Unfortunately, I wouldn't have the faintest idea on what to write about. Hats off to all you bloggers who manage to do it. And do it well mind you (well, some of you at least).

Though I do feel guilty for taking up so much of Sayesha's comments space. Nah, actually I don't - i was just being polite.

virdi said...

now listen everyone... I AM NOT GAY... I AM HAPPY AND not GAY... and sayesha and anil shut the DUCk up...
V...

virdi said...

no one ever said... LOOK AT HER HANDS THEY ARE SO SO BEATIFUL!!! bloody fooking pakis... how dare they didnt say that.. they are now piece of meat... i love your hands and they didnt even say anything about your hands?? fooking pakis..
V...

Anonymous said...

Good Morning ... And how are you all this lovely Monday morning ....

I dont know where Soldier's Gay shirt discussion originated from , but i can tell you about his Butterfly Shirt ....

It became a hit back in those simplistic days .... i think he was ragged for the whole year about that ....

Henna girl ?!!!! Were you a henna girl December 24th 2001 in front of Kinakunya or one of those plaza thingies on Orchard.....

Sayesha said...

Arre Virdi aa gaya! Dekho dekho Virdi aa gaya! :D

Oye Virdi, I never said you are gay. WH Anil did. Why you getting angry with me, man?

Haha, they did compliment my nails. Nails are an integral part of Sayesha's hands. And what's with the paki thing, man??

Good morning, Devil.
I have been the henna girl at a number of occasions, but I don't remember ever being one at Kino or Plaza. I was definitely there at Suntec City though. In 2002 I think.

Anonymous said...

I actually enjoy the anonymity. Why spoil that by meeting up? We shall meet up, but all in good time. And vaise bhi Sayesha bhai ne supari nikaali hain humaari naam ki - for making fun of her song. Thats the real reason she's suggesting to meet up. Haha - foiled your plans again, diabolical Sayesha.

//Anyway, you'll get your prize. Bolo, dil kya chahta hai?

*grin*

Dil toh bahut kuch chahata hain. But for now, just remember you owe me one, when the time is right I'll ask it from you.

oh and Virdi - glad to see that ur back. I see the absence has increased your virdiness 10 fold.

Anonymous said...

To soldier : :).....

To Sayesha : Yes, the Henna Girl there did not have beautiful hands .... but on the other hand .... my pal Dhimant would be calling her B*S*Y maan , B*S*Y and another fellow would be going BS ... All BS ....

Sayesha said...

Sach kaha Sahil, Virdi ke virdiness ke bina mere blog ka kya hoga! :D

-Poison- said...

kya khool hai tum....:p