Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Farewell. And by the way, you rock!

Every time there's a resignation at my workplace, a huge A-4 sized farewell card is circulated and everyone writes stuff on it about the resigning soul.

The things I write on those cards set me thinking. I highlight the very best things about the person. And all these things I write are genuine things I feel about the person. I praise the person and disclose all the qualities about him/her that inspired me. I even find small things I appreciate in people I don't like, and write it down on the card.

And it's the same with everyone. No one writes stuff like "Thanks for making my life hell when we were working on project X." or "I can't tell you how relieved I am that you're leaving!" or "Good riddance, man! Thanks for resigning!" or "Yeay! No more of you tomorrow onwards!"

It's always, "You liven up the office!" or "Will miss your bad jokes terribly!" or "Can't imagine the team without you!" or "Thanks for the great work in project Y" or "Project Z would never have been a success without you!" or "Thanks for helping me out when I was new." or "All the best for your new job."

And as I think about it, I realise something. That somehow, the things I write on the farewell cards are things I would probably never say in person. These kinda words are disclosed only when a person is leaving. I say that from personal experience too. Because of Dad's frequent transfers, I've had to say 'Goodbye' to a lot of people. And every time, I would come to know of good things they thought of me, just when I was leaving. And often, the stuff they wrote on farewell cards or said at the airport or train station came as real surprises.

Why is it that we always wait till the farewell before we tell people what we really feel about them? Do we end up saying all that's in our heart only because we know that we're not going to see the person again? If so, why are we scared of facing these people after telling them what we feel?

Why does the good stuff have to wait till the farewell?



13 comments:

The Village Idiot / Soldier said...

So, will you wait until my farewell to say all the good things about me? :P Nahin to abhi se bolna shuru kar do.... har roz ek baat. :P ek poora saal lag jaayega sab baatein bolne ke liye :P hahaha ;)

Sayesha said...

Village Idiot,
Good stuff??? About you??? Hahaha!

Hmmm... ek poora saal lag jaayega to THINK UP good stuff about you!

;)

Packan said...

Hey can u blog roll me..thanks

viv said...

You only realise the value of something (or someone) when it's no longer with you... Until you have it, why bother about what it's worth? It's yours anyway.

viv said...

Sorry about the incorrect sentence... Until => As long as

Aye Kay said...

You know Sayesha, it may just be that when the person is leaving, you don't want to hurt the person by saying nasty/bad things about the person. Its probably because of the situation that you want to only state the li'l good things that you can think up of. Its like you said in your post:
........I even find small things I appreciate in people I don't like, and write it down on the card. .........
I'm guessing its the extra effort that you put in to make the person feel good the last time you are meeting them. After all, most of us dont want to be remembered by someone else as 'the &@#!%#*# who insulted me when I was leaving'.

PS: As I re-read this comment, I think my use of person, someone, others etc has made it very ocnfusing, but I hope you get what I was trying to come at.

Sayesha said...

Aye Kay,
I get your point. But my post is not so much on 'Why don't we write nasty things on farewell cards?' but more on 'Why do we wait till the farewell to say all the good stuff we had hidden in our hearts?' All the special thoughts, all the hidden feelings, come out just before 'Goodbye'. And that's kinda sad.

Princesse said...

But you're blessed sayesha..

I dont know what happens in ur life generally, but at least on this blog, each day, you're appreciated.. over and over..sometimes by someone u know, and sometimes by someone new.. a complete stranger...

and that 'praise' or appreciation is something that's never held back till u bid goodbye.

Instead, it's showered upon you each time someone visits your blog..they tell u how much they love ur blog, your style of writing, the way you make them laugh.. the way you're almost an antitode to their ailing end-of-day =)...

for you - all the good stuff is said at the outset.. and u learn, that you've earned quite a place in the hearts of those who are happily addicted to your blog :)...

Is it because in the blogosphere, we're all still faceless? Or is it because we're less worried about what we say out here?

Whatever the case, I think it's a great testament to the fact that where people see the opportunity and an interface to express their feelings / sentiments, at least on your blog, they do it without inhibition...

Congratulations :)...

Sayesha said...

//But you're blessed sayesha..

I couldn't agree more, Princessse. I am indeed blessed to have the life I have, and more importantly, the people I have in it. You guys rock, and I wanna tell you this before it's time to say 'Goodbye' :)

The Village Idiot / Soldier said...

Sayesha, does that mean even i rock?

Sayesha said...

Yes, you do, my dear :)

nmk said...

The wierdest thing about people resigning and leaving is that their ability to surprise you before they leave is always underestimated.

I had a colleague who resigned recently because he got a better job. On his last day he went to everyone in the office, said good bye and handed each one a small gift. I was stunned, I was relatively new and did not even expect a goodbye. I was stunned when he handed me a gift and wished me the very best with my future career.

I was touched. How do you find gifts for a whole office? Get them sizeable starbucks vouchers.

Adnan Siddiqi said...

hey!

Wat happened to your Pakistan tour. SOrry i had completely forgotten.