Saturday, May 28, 2005

Of killjoys and killsorrows

Friday night. Almost perfect. Well, Bar None is always perfect. The band 9Lives is always perfect. And then Addy, the guy who is perfection personified (though he may disagree) acknowledges my entry with a smile and a nod in the middle of his song. It was too perfect to last, I suppose.

Later, as we chatted with the keyboardist of 9Lives, he broke the news to us. 9Lives is breaking up. Sunday is their last performance at Bar None. The band's breaking up 'cos the members want to do their own thing. Do their own thing. Sigh.

I am too depressed for words. Just when I thought I had found the perfect bar with the perfect band with the perfect band members who played the perfect music. As I sat there, my face giving away my true feelings, one of my friends said, "Bands break up all the time. These things happen. It's normal."

Now I call this a classic case of 'killsorrow'. Just like killjoys, who spoil your joys and enthusiasm with statements such as "Oh you didn't know this???" or "What's so great about that?" or "I always knew that!", there are killsorrows. Killsorrows lurk everywhere around you, and their mission in life is to not let you grieve in peace.

My favourite band is breaking up, I am upset and I just want to be sad about it.

Killsorrows of the world, stay away from me at this point. I don't need your sappy happy optimistic idealistic high-horse crap right now.

Just let me be.



9 comments:

Ro said...

spoke to the lead singer after you left. he confirmed the news and shall be expecting us on their final performance.

9 lives is dead. long live 9 lives.

croondoodle said...

Yip! Be. That's life. You are, that's why you feel.

Life is full of changes. Accept n move on. No point holding on. Hurts all the more! Killsorrows are there to show reality...to make you see what is. Why?...not that they dun want to let you grive in peace but to see that one who is dear is not hurt cos of something as simple as this. Aren't a curse but a blessing! If its not seen the right way yep! they are a mean lot...the meanest of the lot who don't let you 'grieve' in peace?! =)...
no one likes to see a friend sad i guess...hmmm

Probably cos they have seen reality at really close quarters at an extreme level one can't imagine? And they just want to save those they feel for to get over it easily.Hard to explain and digest but yep! they smile with you cos you smile, cos they feel happy seeing you happy, them forgetting the gravity of what had been and why a simple thing as a band breaking up means almost nothing to what could be in a worse situation in comparison to what life has been to them. I agree one can't be so realistic at times...but can't help.

Guess its easy to brand one a 'killsorrow' unless you can share with them their realities of life...=)

Killsorrows are killsorrows cos of a reason. Sad that one brands them as killsorrows. Its never out of choice. You could have ended up being one if you had gone thru the same =)...

tragicomix said...

hmm..didn't figure sayesha for a groupie..but hey, whatever floats your boat...!

i worshipped a guitar man once too..hung around him, and licked his ankles like a happy puppy..then things happened..he got other puppies..i started licking corporate ankles..and life goes on..its what makes life worth living..

Sayesha said...

> hmm..didn't figure sayesha for a groupie

TC, Sayesha ain't no groupie for just any random band! :)

9Lives is special, and Addy rocks.

Sahil said...

aww... poor 'lil sayesha.

All I have to say is, is that All good things will come to an end.

When you find something perfect, and which couldnt be improved in any way at all (eg. addy) - enjoy it for the moment, cos one of the great truths of life is that it just wont last.

Sayesha said...

Croondoodle,
Good points raised by you, all of 'em! (Another reason why I urge you to start your own blog.) But sometimes, you just want to live the pain. For a while at least. 'Cos all kinds of feelings deserve attention from us, don't they? :)

Hmm wat shall we call me.... said...

How cool would it have been if the bar would be calles Cat or Catz or Katz or something. Then we could have said Catz has 9lives

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