Sunday, May 08, 2005

Dil toh pagal hai

Once upon a time, there was this really cute guy in school who had a crush on me. He was totally gorgeous, but I did not show any interest. Firstly, because I'd met him only twice and I barely knew him (he was a friend's friend's friend). Secondly, I thought I liked someone else. And thirdly, I was leaving the city for good in less than a month.

Before leaving, I gave all my friends a nickname each. He came to meet me one last time. I gave him a nickname too, and apologised to him for breaking his heart and for not being able to reciprocate his feelings.

Now, seven years later, in one of the millions of mindless forwards I receive from one of my old friends, I happened to see that guy's name in the list of names the forward was sent to.

His email address was 'his-name_nick-I-gave-him@yahoo.com'.

I suddenly had this strange feeling of something tugging at my heart -- of not really knowing what to feel. And yet, feeling it.



9 comments:

Princesse said...

shaayad woh kahin se tumhein ek ishaara kar rahaa hai, ke mein aapke naam ka board leykar ghum rahaa hoon, aur aap humein kabh miloge ;)

Kya itefaaq jaisi cheez bhi hoti hai zindagi mein? Har ek insaan ka humaari zindagi se ek gehraa taalooq hota hai. Hum uss taalooq ko ek dum se pehchaan yah jaan nahin paate. Lekin ek din, duur jab hum sab apni apni zindagi mein bas chukke hote hain, tab ehsaas hota hai, ke shaayad meri zindagi mein iss shaks ka dubaara aanaa ek pehgaam tha..

Bhalle hi woh kaamna na ho joh ek waqt mein huaa karti thi, lekin ek pyaari si dosti kaa hi kaamna ho.. jisse phirse seej kar aap bohut khush hongi.

Vaise bhi, shaayad yehi aap ke subhaav ke pehchaan hai, phirse, ek aur dil par aap ek aur gehri nishaani chhod jaayein... :)

croondoodle said...

that's almost unconditional...time, distance...nothing matters! hard to find in the kindof life we live. Its more of convenience with regards to proximity, time et al...but i guess that's more practical than just 'blind love'!...erm..does love really exist?

croondoodle said...

jise jiski zindagi mein jab hona chaahiye, woh usi waqt us insaan ki zindagi mein aayega. kisika kisike zindagi mein rehna, aur jo waqt ek doosre ke saath guzaarte hain, woh to oopparwaale ke haathon mein hai. gar dor ooppar hai to hum katthhputli bankar apne aap ko unke hawaale karein yahi samajhdaari hai. kyon khud ko taqleef dein jab logon ka aana jaana hamaare haath mein nahin hai. Bas, yahi samajhna sahi hai ki jeevan ek rail gaadi hai aur har station par log utarte aur chadhte hain. Safar ka maza lekar zindagi jiyo!

Zindagi ik safar hai suhaana
Yahaan kal kya ho kisne jaana? =)

Princesse said...

Yeh sahi hai ke kuchh bhi humaare haath mein nahin, par itna toh teh hai bhulleh shah ke iss dohe se:

Khudi ko kar bulandh itna
Ke khudaa bandhe se aakar pooche
Ke BOL, TERI razaa kya hai

Amazing :)

Sayesha said...

Sigh... things like this make me wonder about the wonders of life, people and relationships. An email address is so personal and it's for life. And yet, he chose my nick to be part of it, knowing fully well that we'll most probably never meet in life again. I am not sure if I should be flattered or anguished... Like I said before, I dunno what to feel, yet I feel something...

I guess I can only hope that I am a happy memory of his, not a painful one...

Keshav said...

interesting..

divya said...

Possibly he thot the nickname to be so creative that he has decided to keep it for life =)

Perhaps you should just try to talk to him now and find out why he kept the nickname =) Atleast it will clear the air =)

Angelsera said...

I am astonished.

Anil said...

I happened to read this only now.. and I love the comments written in hindi.. especially the hyderabadi stuff.. I can't write or speak hindi like that anymore since I haven't had any occassion to speak proper hindi for many years.