I cried today. No, actually I bawled. I did not know why. I did not understand why. I did not know who the tears were for. Myself? Someone else? I try to figure it out, but I can't. All I feel is an entangled mess of emotions and I can't seem to pull the threads apart.
Maybe it was the rain.
Maybe it was the music I was playing.
Maybe it was sheer panic. The day when my friends would leave the country, is stealthily and mockingly approaching me.
Maybe I was missing my friends.
Or maybe, my loneliness just decided to put all of these together.
Shaam se aankh mein nami si hai...
Aaj phir aap ki kami si hai...
Waqt rehta nahin kahin tikkar...
Iski aadat bhi aadmi si hai...
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Aankhon se aasuon ke marasim puraane hain...
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Apne aansoo-on ko hataayein
Aur zaraa himmat se kaam lijiye
Kar nahin sakte yeh aansoon aapke saath wafaayein
Iss akelepann ko apna dost hi samajh lijiye
Hmmm... I feel like life's saying to me, "Alright, Ms celebrated survivor, let's see how you handle this one!"
Let's see.
i love the rain and yesterday was wonderful for lazing about, ruminating, being pensive and ofcourse writing :) oh and did i mention pakodas and chai?
Dearest Apple,
My my, aren't you the sensitive one.
People have their own classifications of rain. Mine's here:
http://sayesha.blogspot.com/2005/03/rain.html
Unfortunately for me, yesterday it rained both the yaadon wali and the aansu wali baarish.
Not the best combo to have when you're lonely.
Sometimes, doesnt a good hearty cry just make you feel really good, sorta like you've cleansed your system?
I feel that often. In fact, if every couple of months, I haven't had a hearty 'let-go' session of mine, I think i actually get cranky... *blush*
Iss akelepann ko apna dost na samajhiye,
na kabhi karna aisa bhool
akelepann se karloge dosti
toh bahut ho jaoge aap 'uncool'
Dost na karenge aap se wafaayi,
na kareyga yeh akelapann kohi nihaal
khudh ke andar jhaako
aur samjho apne dil ka haal
Jo aason aap ne bahein
aap pehchaano iska raaz
kehna kya chahta hain aap ka dil
kyun hain woh aap se naaraz?
Kammi hain nahin doston ki
Na kammi hain sammein ka
kammi hain to sirf ek hi
aur woh kammi hain aap ke paas
Pehchaano apne aap ko
Jaanlo yeh baat
Joh khushi ki hain kammi
Woh hain aap ke dil ke paas
To na ho abh yuh udhaas
Na baaho yeh aasoon ki nadi
Dil ke saath thori baatein joh karloge
Toh mil jaayegi aapko woh khushi.
...its just one of those days...
I guess it's the kind of thing that happens to all of us from time to time...
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