B is for 'Baarah maheene line mari'

So this 1989 song followed in the footsteps of the format established by Madhuri's hugely popular 'Ek do teen' number from 1988 (and yes, I have seen what they have done with it this year). However, while Madhuri only did intzaar while counting down the days, this song went above and beyond to become The Essential Stalker's Anthem. Baarah maheene line mari, phir bhi laga na number. January mein shuru kiya tha, aa gaya December.

The song starts with a horrified Rekha in a garden. Btw, she looks like how I look when I have just washed my hair and dried it vigorously with a towel and then not done anything else about it.

She's in a garden with her friends when she encounters our main man Jeetendra dancing with his sidekicks. They  are holding up signs that say 'Hi!' Spelt correctly. PHEW. Not 'Hai' or 'Wanna frand me?' 

Jeetendra then proceeds to yell out 'Ae Miss!' and air-measures Rekha's vital statistics. 

He gives his verdict -- 35-25-36. She yells out 'SHUT UP!' but he's not one to be deterred. 

He starts off with how he's been stalking her for a whole year, and that's when you realise that he has exactly 12 sidekicks and they are wearing T-shirts with the names of the months on them. Much wow. 

No ordinary T-shirts these, for they also come with the month names written in Hindi at the back. Just making sure, you know. 

Much dancing by the month-buddhi bwoys. Much fleeing by the hapless girls.

The girls suddenly find themselves at a haldi ceremony that is conveniently happening at a beach that is conveniently located right next to the garden they are in.

Cliche of all cliches, the 12 boys who came armed with 12 burkhas, gatecrash the haldi to continue the harassment.

The girls run back to the beach and Rekha complains to some local fisherwomen about Jeetu and his brigade. The determined-looking women tuck their pallus in and just when you think they're gonna kick some ass...

...they break into dance while their respective men do the saltwater dhulaai. Ok, at least there is some dhulaai.

The other saving grace of the song is that unlike many other songs where the girl gives in exactly after 4 minutes of a harassment song, Rekha tells him off, threatens to call the cops and storms off. 

The song ends with a line that doesn't even rhyme properly with 'number' and 'Disumber'. "Mere dil mein kar gayi puncture", sings Jeetendra amidst the support of all the supporting cast. 

Enjoy this gem. You're welcome.