Friday, August 25, 2006


Note: Post written in an emotional state of mind. Please comment with caution. I'll delete any inflammatory remark made against either country.

Dear Sir,

I firmly believe that once you blog about something, it stops bothering you. This is a post of all the things that are bothering me. All the things that I have to say. Some of which I wanted to say to you today, others which I knew I could not say. And I have to write all this because I have to make it stop bothering me.

So here it is – a day by day account of what’s bothering me and why I need to tell you all this.

Day 1 – 22nd August Tuesday

I went to the Pakistan Embassy with my Singaporean colleague (he's also supposed to go to Pakistan with me on the business trip) and we submitted our forms. Your website said that Indian nationals need seven sets of the application form and seven photographs, a letter from my company stating that the company would sponsor my trip, and a letter from our partners in Pakistan stating that they were inviting me as a speaker at their seminar. I had diligently prepared the seven sets.

The guy at the reception was incredibly friendly. He even spoke to me in Hindi (Urdu for him I guess). “Indian national? Visa? Sakbo visa dete hain, aapko bhi denge! Aao, baitho.” ("We give visas to everyone. We'll give you too. Come, sit.") He said cheerfully. We were asked to wait in the waiting room. I flipped thru loads and loads of Pakistani magazines and also watched the video about Pakistan that was playing. My colleague was called to the counter first. His passport, photograph and forms were accepted and he was asked to pay the visa fee of $34. I chuckled to myself thinking of the $29 I was gonna save for my company (visa fee for Indian nationals is only $5). He was asked to pick up his passport (stamped with the visa) on Thursday.

I was called next. When I handed over the seven sets, the guy at the counter retained six of them and one photograph. "Only one needed." He said. Wincing at the extra trees I had just killed, I handed him my passport. He returned it to me with a "Call tomorrow at 2 pm" and dismissed me. I was not asked to make any payment either. Strange. I joked with my colleague that perhaps it was a 'when to issue the visa' for his case and 'whether to issue the visa' in mine.

Day 2 – 23rd August Wednesday

I called exactly at 2 pm. I'd had a post-it message stuck on my Mac to remind me. I was told that you wanted to see me personally before my application would be processed. I was asked to go to the Embassy at 10 am the next morning to see you.

Day 3 – 24th August Thursday

My colleague got his visa.

I was at the Embassy sharp at 10 am. The same guy was at the reception. He remembered me from the day before. “Aap? Indian national na? Visa application, right? Sakbo visa dete hain, aapko bhi denge! Aao baitho.” He said again.

So I sat in the waiting room and watched the Pakistan video once again. Then I was ushered into your room. I was very impressed with your majestic personality, almost scared I'd say. You went thru my application forms and confirmed that I was an Indian national. “Why do you want to go to Pakistan?” You asked. I told you. You looked hesitant. I could sense that you doubted my credibility and also my company’s. You asked me if my company was an MNC and I said it was, and that we have subsidiary publishers in the US and UK. You asked me to get a letter from my company stating all this. (Strange how the name of the same company whose credibility you were doubting got me my US visa instantly) You also said that you wanted to see the kinds of books we publish. I asked you if I could bring the letter and the books down to the embassy the next morning. You agreed to look at them, but warned me that you could not guarantee me a visa. And I wondered why. What was it in my application form that made me an undesirable candidate for a 10-day business visa? All the form had was my name, address, passport number, colour of hair, colour of eyes, the fact that I was not a migrant from Pakistan, that I was not in the army, etc. So other than the ‘Indian national’ part, which part of the form made you apprehensive? I do know that many people from India and Pakistan visit each other’s countries. Maybe Pakistani people also have difficulties obtaining a visa to go to India, I don’t really know. But I don't really care. Why should I? I care about my application. And I did not understand if you thought that going to Pakistan was a threat to my life, or that my going was a threat to Pakistan.

“I can’t guarantee you a visa.” Your words rang in my head the whole day. I could not concentrate on anything. I had an unproductive day at work, which never happens to me. After work, I was absent-minded in class too. I’d forgotten to print my lecture notes. I was not participating in the class. The MD of Edelman SE-Asia was a guest speaker in my class that night, and he had a contest for us to pitch our creative ideas and the best would get to attend a talk by the CEO of Edelman. I could have done so much better, but I wrote some crap, which I can’t even remember now.

To tell you the truth, I even cried a bit. And I never cry at anything other than Bollywood movies. But last night,
before going to bed, I shed a few tears.

At the thought that a complete stranger had the power to break my heart.

Day 4 – 24th August Friday

I was at the Embassy again sharp at 10 am. (The $29 I had supposedly saved for my company was all going poof in my cab fares.) I had with me the letter you’d asked for, and books that my company had published, including some that I had written and others that I had edited. I even took the certificate from a school in Manila that stated that I had done this kind of seminars before.

I wandered around in the waiting room. I had seen the video so many times now that I was sure that if you muted the TV, I’d have done a complete voiceover for the whole thing. I had devoured all the books and magazines in the waiting room. Without stepping a foot in Pakistan, I had begun to understand the culture. I read that they like Bollywood movies. I read their reviews on Hindi movies that featured Pakistan, such as Veer-Zaara and Fanaa. I’d read about their models, their celebrities, their marathon events (I read two books on the Run Lahore campaign). I read a magazine that had an Indian male model and a Pakistani female model on the cover dressed in fine ethnic wear. I thought that was pretty cool. I saw their ads. I even saw how they wrote their addresses, just like in India. "Near KFC".

After a while I got so bored I started cracking really bad jokes with myself, just to kill time. The worst one was this:

Q: What would Sachin Tendulkar say when he hears about Sayesha’s visa issue?
Ans: Visa power. For-get it.

I doubt if I will ever forgive myself for that joke. :|

I waited from 10 am to 11:30 am. (Not that I’m complaining about that. I’m Indian – who am I to complain about lack of system and waiting time at government offices?) In those three hours, I was asked to go to the counter thrice and was sent back into the waiting room again. People came and went, most of them instantly getting approvals. I sat there till about 11:30, when the guy at the reception called me and told me that you were not in the office. He said to the guy at the counter, “Woh pata nahin kab waapas aayenge… Inki chhutti karo na…” (Dunno when he’ll be back, at least send her back.)

So the guy at the counter asked me for my mobile number and told me that they would tell me over the phone. Tell me what? That I was supposed to go see you again? Or just tell me that I could not go to Pakistan because I am an Indian?

The guy at the counter looked at me helplessly. If I wasn’t almost in tears, I’d have said to him, “Sabko visa dete ho, bas hamein hi nahin dete.” ("You give visas to everyone. Just not to me.")

So I was at the lifts when I suddenly remembered that I had one last chance to 'sell' you my application. I decided to leave the books that I had taken (the ones I was supposed to show you) with the guy at the counter, in the hope that perhaps you will find some time to look at them, and find whatever you expected of them, and maybe, just maybe I'll have some good news on Monday.

But I'm also very aware of the other possibility. Which seems more probable at this point in time.

I'd thought I'd sort this out today - Friday. I'd know for sure what I was in for, and then I could concentrate on my weekend dissertation writing. But now it looks like my depression over the last two days has now entered my weekend. And I dislike it. I feel pained and hurt and angry. And I know I will probably stay this way till Monday. Even though you've probably made your decision already, I'll only find out on Monday. And this post is to avoid the restlessness I think I will experience till I get that call from you, which will either make or break my day.

I felt this sudden change today after coming back from the Embassy. Nothing was really cheering me up anymore. We had a company event today and we had a silly voting thing and I was picked as the most admired person. Normally, I’d be celebrating this and be on a temporary high, but I feel so low that small things like this which used to make my day do not seem to matter anymore. And I hate to see myself like this.

When I asked my parents for permission to visit Pakistan, I was more than sure they would say no. Many of my friends told me I was crazy to want to go, and that my parents would never agree. And I knew they were probably right. I’d even mentally prepared myself. But when they agreed, I was ecstatic. I thought I had won the battle. Now it was just a matter of one flight. I could almost see myself on the streets of Pakistan. I never even imagined in my wildest dreams that my visa would be a problem.

And in the middle of all this - my 'glass-is-half-full' side nudged me. Suddenly, just like that - I had a thought. So what if they won’t grant me a visa? I won’t go. Big deal. It’s not a career-changing trip anyway. Besides, I’m probably safer in Singapore than I would be in any country, including India. So maybe I should just let the whole thing go and return to my work, which has been massively disrupted due to my frequent trips to the Embassy. Maybe I am obsessing over something that won't matter so much after a while. In all probability, I'm being silly about this whole thing. Maybe it's fine not to go.

But then there was this other part of me saying – But I wanna go. I really really really wanna go.

Let me tell you, sir, why this trip is so important to me. It’s not just a career thing. It’s also something very personal, something close to my heart. Most of us Indians would never get to see Pakistan. We would not go on holidays there, we would not go for relatives’ weddings there, we would just not go. And, here it was, the opportunity of truly a lifetime, something that will probably never happen to me in this life ever again. I did not have any big ambitious plans for my trip. I was not going to try and “foster friendships” or “build ties” between two countries who have been disputing for years and years now. It not like I thought my trip would change the image of Indians in the eyes of those who are cynical about us. I was not going to show off how "brave" I am. I was just going to see Pakistan. With my own eyes. Now that I have a chance to go see things for myself, I’m being denied the opportunity. By being denied entry, I am experiencing the negativity that I never had in me about your country.

If three visits to the Embassy did not help, I wonder what will. However, I do know that you’re probably not doing this on a whim. Perhaps you have some reason for your reluctance on this visa. But if there really is no substantial reason, maybe all you need to do is just trust your instincts and let me through, then I do hope that even though I know you would have already made your decision this afternoon, somehow, something will happen over the weekend to make you rule in my favour. Maybe the vibes from the words that I write here will reach your heart and tell you I'm clean. I believe in vibes very strongly. It's the closest thing to God that I believe in.

It's amazing how something that did not affect my life in any way a few months ago has suddenly become so important to me. But I can't help it - cos that's the way it is.

I just want to see your country, is that so bad?

Yours sincerely,


Sakshi said...

I wish I could say something to make you feel better, Sayesha.
I have my fingers crossed.

Deeps said...

Thats really sad Sayesha. I don't know what can make them apprehensive about you. As you said, is it that you are a threat to their country (ha ha ha!!) or is there some threat to you (possible).

Anyways, all the best and hope this works out for you. I've seen your enthusiasm for going to Pakistan in your previous posts and hope you won't be disappointed.

If they do refuse your visa, remember its their loss, not yours. Please cheer up :))).

Jay said...

Cheer up! There is still time!

Duhita said...

Keep the faith Sayesha....I hope it comes through for you! In the mean time be happy:D

PizzaDude said...

I dont know what to say.... But I hope that you do get the visa and go and see the place.

Raj said...

I hope you get the visa.

Stay positive!!

Adarsh said...

All the BEST !!!

Anonymous said...

I told you you were stupid to agree t go in the first place! I still don;t understand why you're dying to go? Is it just to show off? I have no idea, but i know this for sure - you're a traitor to our nation!

Sudeep said...

Kya bolu? Be happy even if u dont get visa is bullshit.. it sure might be hurting when almost being rejected just for being a national of a neighbouring country which is at so-called 'cold war'
cant go thro ur situation but got the sad feeling thro ur post.. just hoping tht the books u dropped at his office n some miracle will land a positive judgement on ur side.. tk care

MAC said...

This certainly does not befit the Sayesha I have come to "know" - the unflappable, imperturbable..

Just remember - "and this too shall pass"...

P.S. I am not writing this because "you were beginning to like the adorable me"

Disha said...

Don't worry, such VISA matters take time(Sometimes quite irritating), but in the End, you will be approved!
Just think about the the good times you will enjoy in Pakistan:)

raven said...

@anon: count another one in your list of traitors - me!

@sayesha: and my reasons for visiting that land would quite a bit be the same as yours. just wanna visit. and muh before i turn old!

Sayesha said...

Thanks, dear. Your concern for me is more than enough. Waise I am already feeling better after writing this post. :)

//I don't know what can make them apprehensive about you.

Maybe they heard about my Bhai-giri? :O

Yeah... everything hinges on Monday :)

Thanks, dear! :)

I hope so too! Fingers crossed! :P

Thanks! I will! :)

Thanks :)

Thanks yaar :)

//This certainly does not befit the Sayesha I have come to "know" - the unflappable, imperturbable..

Thanks for your undying faith, but the mighty Sayesha has her weak moments too :)

//I am not writing this because "you were beginning to like the adorable me"

After I read this, I went to my gmail and went thru every comment you have posted on my blog. Turns out you're someone who works in a circus and who's got a couple metals on my blog, and oh, who thinks that each one of my posts sucks. That's interesting :)

Anonymous said...

yup!! look out for other things!! watch other videos!! i can send u sum funny ones if u want!! :D

things will definitely work out themselves!!

chill maaro!

Sayesha said...

Wow, that sounds good... hope what you say is true... :) things look pretty bleak right now...

I hope you get to visit man!

Hey, thanks!
ps: Is it you?? :)

satish said...

ab pata nahin aap kise expect kar rahein thein..par lets for the time being pretend kee u guessed correctly that it was me!! do u find my 'watching videos' proposition?!

Iday said...

Such a sad post from u :(
Thankfully this was not the first one i got to read @ the Shaz bar.
Hopefully - this is the last and Monday brings back the smiles on ur face :)

Anyway - jus let it pass.
I sincerely hope that u get a Visa. If by any chances u dont get one, jus dont take it to heart.
I know getting rejected this way is a big heart breaker.
But this is so much out of our hands. We cannot do anything in this case.

Iday said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Inder said...

that is the job of any embassy - to decide whether to issue visa or not. if they decide not to, they would have a reason or two, which according to them is very valid. they are there to look at things from their point of view and not ours.

i personally think that there is no reason to allow that to affect you, your work and your weekend. it will be great to get a visa. if not (which, i sincerely hope will not be the case) what is the problem? if not this time, may be sometime later. if never, what is the big deal?

i know that it is easier said than done. but still - 'there is no point in being depressed about something that is totally out of our control'.

Fishy said...

you know what? I have been having the most rotten week myself...almost thought of turning to chocolate for solace, but you know what, thats a temporary solution...
I know u have work to do this weekend, but spend some time looking at old pictures, take the phone off the hook, log off the internet and spend some time with yourself, THINK all you want, it will make you feel better!! and a tiny bar of chocolate/mug of hot chococlate will help!!! :)
What happens, happens!! C'est la vie

Rohit Talwar said...

I'm going to cross my fingers for you, dear lady. Even I want you to go and see it for me, (err.. us), share the experience with us, later, with the sensibility and emotions of an Indian. It'll happen. Hopefully. Relax.

starbreez said...

Whatever happens this time round, I believe that you will step foot on Pakistan one fine day. Take solace in the fact that life is long and there is more than one road that leads to Rome.

Raam Pyari said...

I say a small prayer each night before I go to bed.Tonite I shall talk to God about a particular girl in Singapore and how bad she wants to visit Pakistan.

I know you are not much of a believer but I am.

Main apani bahin ki sifarish upar waale se karungi, woh Sir jee koh akal de denge!

Anonymous said...

They can never tell if you are a spy for India. You know nowadays spys come in all shapes and sizes. Can they take that risk?

I think its a political situation that has simmered for centuries and is way beyond your control. Why feel upset over issues that are beyond your control then?

Rebellion said...

Kya Sash.. wrote such a big comment for you but the browser crashed & I lost it :(

Anyways, I can't experience but can definitely understand your pain dear. Its hard for Indians like us to accept something like this, when we try hard to keep ourselves away from the bias & hatred that many around us have for the other nation!

Your post is really nice, written direct dil se. If it made me emotional, I can understand how painful it might be for you. But I still say just one thing which I've been saying since evening to you.. Don't worry, am sure ul get the visa. I have full faith in God and il pray for you. Please don't get upset.

A nice warm hug for you >:D<
Probably I needed it too :)

Please don't worry,
Keep Smiling,
Take care,

black tulip said...

Hey Sayesha, you are one of the happiest bloggers I've read. Your posts always leave your readers smiling. This one made me sad. I really hope you get the visa :)

Clueless said...

Got my fingers crossed for you. I hope you get to go. I really do.

Things will sort themselves out, don't worry. Just make sure you don't let this affect you too much. Sad Sayesha makes me sad too. :(

*prays real hard*

ggop said...

Good luck in getting the visa!
I can empathize, my sister did not get a visa to visit me here in the US.

Shreemoyee said...

Its not Monday yet, things might just turn out well after all. Chill.

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

hope you get it hope you get it hope you get it.
keep the faith.

perplexed kid said...

Trust yourself...u'll definitley get it...all the best

Thanu said...

First and foremost no one seem to have noticed u were voted as most Admired. Let that high last you till Monday and Monday to Visa mil jayega

qsg said...

Sash...I hope it all works out for the best! Keep the faith, girl! Chin up, and smile! :)

The Pirate said...

Hey Sash Bhai,

Do not worry dude... everything happends for good.. Really..

You did your best... couldn't have done any better... so now chill dude... i'll send you some real cool youtube links.. ;)

and even you don't get the visa (u will), who cares man?.. we'll go to europe instead.. :))

saty said...

your friendly neighbourhood trip seems to have turn into a obsession...almost like SRK wooing Juhi Chawala in Daar:- 'Tu ha kar, ya na kar..main pakistan jaana chati hoon'...even discounting your questionable emotional state while writing the blog, your mental scales seem to be off balance for a while..chalo hota hai subko kabhi/kabhi..such desperation/obsession doesn't get us anywhere,except for creating Khun-nus... hope writing this blog made you feel better.....and reading all the comments made you feel normal...have a nice weekend, mondayko jo hona hai woh hoga!!!Bheja kyu sarka ney ka??...calendar budlte rehena ka!!

Nirwa said...

This too shall pass! :-) Being an indian national would be a problem to viist pakistan sounds ridiculous to me! Why would htey do that?

This too shall pass.. :-)

Sayesha said...

Of course I knew it was you. Who else write 'sum' on my blog? :P
ps: What videos are you talking about? If you're gonna jus send me Youtube links, I will crack your skull. If you're talking about sitcoms, keep talkin', I'm all ears! :)

Arre yaar Sash is not superhuman... kabhi kabhi bar mein bhi maayusi hoti hai :)

Thanks for that very practical comment. :)
ps: Btw, if it's not now, it's never. Because the visa form has a question 'Have you ever been denied a visa to Pakistan? If yes, why?' How will I answer that when even the Embassy can't?

Thanks. Blogging about it has already helped me a lot. Comments from you guys are doing the rest. This morning, I woke up feeling much better, and I even went to Uni and worked on my thesis with a very clear and calm mind :)

I know yaar! You're one person who really wished I could go, perhaps as much as I did. Dekhte hain monday ko kya hota hai.

//I believe that you will step foot on Pakistan one fine day.

I think not. I'll copy paste my reply to Inder here:
Btw, if it's not now, it's never. Because the visa form has a question 'Have you ever been denied a visa to Pakistan? If yes, why?' How will I answer that when even the Embassy can't?

//Take solace in the fact that life is long and there is more than one road that leads to Rome.

But I dun wanna go Rome. I wanna go Pakistan! :(

#Raam Pyari,
Thanks baby :)

So are you saying that now they're denying visas to all Indians?? I think not. Besides, I don't even live in India. I have been a Singapore PR for 8 years. All my records are with the govt of Singapore.

Thanks yaar. Needed that hug. Last night I was in so much pain over this. But strangely, today I feel much much much better :)

#Black tulip,
Thanks, dear! Don't worry, I'll be back to my happy self soon. Bhai log agar eternally depressed hone loga toh supari ka dhanda band ho jayega! :P

Thanks, baby girl! :)

//my sister did not get a visa to visit me here in the US.

REALLY? Did they give a reason?? Sheesh!
ps: Actually I applied for my US visa earlier this year to go see my sis, I was very scared they'd deny it. I was very pleasantly surprised that they gave me a 10-year visa. What is their criteria man?

Yeah... chilling now... it's the weekend after all... and weekends should never be ruined :)

#Ipanema Gal,
Thanks! :)

#Perplexed kid,
I hope you're right :)

Hahahaha! Even I didn't seem to notice it man! :/ Thanks for reminding me! :P

Thanks babe! Chin's up! :D

Thanks... maybe you're right :)

//we'll go to europe instead.. :))

Eh?? "WE"??? Dude, you won't even tell me who the heck you are, and you're planning holidays with me?? :/

Hahaah! Yeah, I think you're right. It snowballed into an obsession probably... I'll be fine... don't worry :)

Yeah... sigh! :)

Kais said... be honest, you do come across as a bit of a shady character at times...

kidding kidding!!...seriously though, dont worry yourself about this beaurocratic nonsense...


Harshi said...

Hey Sash...

Hope ke they make a decision in your favor. All our wishes here are with you. Hope all the positive energy works! I can understand how you might be feeling. Kinda hard to get it out of the mind when we want something so bad and are apprehensive about the outcome. Who knows what their reasons are...I'd like to know. But remember that if not this time, there WILL be another time. Life lambi hai Sash! And you know who you are. You are not a person who gives up that soon, haina. :)

Sayesha said...

Hahaha! Thanks for making me laugh out loud, buddy! :D

Thanks for the vote of confidence yaar... was beginning to lose it myself :)

How do we know said...

Hey Sayesha... am sure that guy will give u the visa now.. otherwise.. there will always be another time.. did write a long comment and deleted it in favor of this mish mash.

Btw, I've also tagged u.

Sathya said...

Wow that was really a heart-felt blog. I'll be thinking about this all weekend. And will watchout for your Blog on Monday like a famished man waiting for the ritual to get over and start on the meal. I can't wait to know the answer from the pak consualte. I only hope that you get your Visa by Monday. If not like you said...nothing's lost. Remember always "things happen for a reason, and a good one at that"

The Inquisitive Akka said...

I certainly hope you get a positive answer on monday! You know, Irfan Khan was supposed to do a movie with Angelina jolie in pakistan but the visa didn't come through. There was an article abt that in the paper yesterday. I really realy hope you get to go!!!!!

RandomThoughts said...

H Sayesha,Life can be difficult at times but trust me life gives us exactly "What we deserve but not necessarily what we desire" Sometimes,it is best we leave it to life ...for LIFE KNOWS BEST!(Even if u don't go it's Pakistan's loss, not yours, Right?)
Celebrate what you have in hand-the enviable title of "most admired person" Cheer up girl!


Vinesh said...

good luck, sayesha..

starbreez said...

///I believe that you will step foot on Pakistan one fine day.

//I think not. I'll copy paste my reply to Inder here:
Btw, if it's not now, it's never. Because the visa form has a question 'Have you ever been denied a visa to Pakistan? If yes, why?' How will I answer that when even the Embassy can't?

Maybe there'll be a change of regime in the visa office in the foreseeable future?! Or, hope springs eternal from the human breast.

///Take solace in the fact that life is long and there is more than one road that leads to Rome.

//But I dun wanna go Rome. I wanna go Pakistan! :(

Rome is a metaphor for where you wanna go la. Well, I'll just keep my fingers crossed for you then.

sakhi said...

Chill dear-- a super-duper hug from me..take care (})
whtever happens, happens for the best..
keep smilin

Sayesha said...

#How do we know,
Thanks :)

Yeah I really hope you're right. Thanks dear :)

Thanks! :)
ps: Irfan Khan? Angelina Jolie? Pakistan? :O Medem, yeh baat kuchh hazam nahin hui :P

Thanks dear! :)

//Even if u don't go it's Pakistan's loss, not yours, Right?

I cetainly wish it was so, but we all know what the truth is, don't we? :)

Hey long time no see! :) And thanks for your wishes! :)

//Rome is a metaphor for where you wanna go la.

Sheesh! I knew thaaaaat! (GGM style!) Was just doing my usual nautanki :D

Thanks for your super-duper hug! I'm indeed smiling :)

Restless Rain said...

Hey wishing you all the best in ur application for the visa! Hope you get good news on monday!

I also had a similar experience myself once, which I think you know, heee.... And until now, I still don't know why it happened to me only! My point being, sometimes things jus happen, and you dunno why it happens, but jus believe that it's for the best...
Hope this helps.

PSV said...

Sayesha Kaur fikar not hai jee. Jo hunda hai oh changey layi hunda hai(whatever happens, it happens for good)
We really really want something which we are denied, so maybe u wanna get this visa more than ever just coz u maybe denied it for no apparent reason.
Visa power-(for)get it! was an intelligent joke.

Amazing post.
Best of luck for monday!

qsg said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Angelsera said...

I know this is no relevance to your post...and I realised you already have ur visa by the time I read it..
but I really want to someday backpack ard Pakistan, just as much as I want to do the same in India..
I know it sounds silly n I may not even get the visa..but still..

Sayesha said...

#Restless Rain,
Yes, heard your experience.. I'd have bawled my eyes out... I think you were very brave! But your Dad was the coolest! :)

Thanks for your wishes :)

Maybe you will. Keep the faith :)