The price of friendship

If you wanna be my friend, there's a price you have to pay.

Literally.

Sash Bhai se dushmani bhot mehengi hai, yeh sabko maloom hai. Lekin Sash Bhai se dosti usse bhi zyada mehengi hai, yeh bhot kam logon ko maloom hai. :D

My close friends know that there's an unwritten contract they signed the moment they undertook the risk of befriending me.

I'm a stickler for punctuality. Now if there's anything I hate, it's having to wait endlessly for a friend to turn up for a movie or dinner or whatever we'd planned.

So if my friends are late, I charge them.

And it's all according to the contract. The contract that has only this one clause (hereafter known as The Clause):

"Thou shalt not be late for movie, dinner and other such appointments fixed with your friend the mighty Sayesha. If thou art late, methinks thou art dead. If thou still hath the courage to show up late, thou hereby undertakes to pay for every single item the mighty Sayesha ends up buying while she waits for you. The later thou art, the more significant the purchases will become, and the bigger dent in your wallet they will cause. Due consideration shall be given to last minute emergencies if brought to the notice of the might Sayesha resonably in advance. The mighty Sayesha will exercise her discretion for such cases. However, thou shalt not forget that thou art supposed to take The Clause seriously."

None of the following sms messages have the capability of melting my steely heart.

- Sorry, wasn't looking at watch. Taking cab now, will be slightly late.
- Will be late, dunno how late.
- Sorry sorry rushing rushing!
- Are you already there?
- Errr... Are you still there?
- Damnit no cabs! Will call one. Be there soon.
- All lines are busy damnit. Be there soon.
- I thought I'd finish this, but it's taking longer than I thought.
- Be there in ten min, promise!
- Hey... if I don't get there in half an hour, count me out. Will try my best tho.
- Am ALMOST there!
- I can see you!

Now don't get me wrong here. I'm not a shopaholic. It's just that if I am made to wait, I get restless. Then I start entering random shops. Waise toh irada is nek - only to window-shop. Lekin kuchh oonch neech ho jaaye toh they have to pay for whatever I end up buying. Reasonable, isn't it?

A friend used to be always late. Always always late. Late for everything. You name it and he'd be late. So the other day, I enforced the clause in the agreement.

He actually paid for two pairs of shoes which are currently sitting pretty in the shoerack outside my door. (Now don't give me those looks okay, he owed me a birthday gift anyway! )

Lesson learnt. These days, he's dot on time. Muahahaha.

So last night, in celebration of this being my term break, the closing of a deal with a best-selling author for a new series of books, I decided to reward myself. Holding on to free movies passes I had wrangled out of my flatmate, I decided to meet up with one of my beshtesht friends and watch a chick flick 'John Tucker must die'.

My friend got stuck at work and messaged me to say she would probably be late.There was still some time before the movie started and before I knew it, I had wandered into Noda. Some time later, I found myself at Series. Ummm... Let's just say things happened.

My friend turned up just in time for the movie. After the movie, I generously told her that I was waiving the $103 late fee because she had not been informed of The Clause.

So as we walked towards the bus stop discussing The Clause, she brought up a very important point. So far, it had always been clothes or shoes or accessories.

"But what if you end up buying a laptop?" She asked.

Hmm... that thought had not crossed my mind. Interesting... very interesting... I see a solid business plan here.

*evil grin* :D

Toh... Mujhse dosti karoge? ;)