Thursday, September 28, 2006

The price of friendship

If you wanna be my friend, there's a price you have to pay.

Literally.

Sash Bhai se dushmani bhot mehengi hai, yeh sabko maloom hai. Lekin Sash Bhai se dosti usse bhi zyada mehengi hai, yeh bhot kam logon ko maloom hai. :D

My close friends know that there's an unwritten contract they signed the moment they undertook the risk of befriending me.


I'm a stickler for punctuality. Now if there's anything I hate, it's having to wait endlessly for a friend to turn up for a movie or dinner or whatever we'd planned.

So if my friends are late, I charge them.

And it's all according to the contract.
The contract that has only this one clause (hereafter known as The Clause):

"Thou shalt not be late for movie, dinner and other such appointments fixed with your friend the mighty Sayesha. If thou art late, methinks thou art dead. If thou still hath the courage to show up late, thou hereby undertakes to pay for every single item the mighty Sayesha ends up buying while she waits for you. The later thou art, the more significant the purchases will become, and the bigger dent in your wallet they will cause. Due consideration shall be given to last minute emergencies if brought to the notice of the might Sayesha resonably in advance. The mighty Sayesha will exercise her discretion for such cases. However, thou shalt not forget that thou art supposed to take The Clause seriously."

None of the following sms messages have the capability of melting my steely heart.

- Sorry, wasn't looking at watch. Taking cab now, will be slightly late.
- Will be late, dunno how late.
- Sorry sorry rushing rushing!

- Are you already there?
- Errr... Are you still there?
- Damnit no cabs! Will call one. Be there soon.
- All lines are busy damnit. Be there soon.
- I thought I'd finish this, but it's taking longer than I thought.
- Be there in ten min, promise!
- Hey... if I don't get there in half an hour, count me out. Will try my best tho.
- Am ALMOST there!
- I can see you!

Now don't get me wrong here. I'm not a shopaholic. It's just that if I am made to wait, I get restless. Then I start entering random shops. Waise toh irada is nek - only to window-shop. Lekin kuchh oonch neech ho jaaye toh they have to pay for whatever I end up buying. Reasonable, isn't it?

A friend used to be always late. Always always late. Late for everything. You name it and he'd be late. So the other day, I enforced the clause in the agreement.

He actually paid for two pairs of shoes which are currently sitting pretty in the shoerack outside my door. (Now don't give me those looks okay, he owed me a birthday gift anyway! )

Lesson learnt. These days, he's dot on time. Muahahaha.

So last night, in celebration of this being my term break, the closing of a deal with a best-selling author for a new series of books, I decided to reward myself. Holding on to free movies passes I had wrangled out of my flatmate, I decided to meet up with one of my beshtesht friends and watch a chick flick 'John Tucker must die'.

My friend got stuck at work and messaged me to say she would probably be late.There was still some time before the movie started and before I knew it, I had wandered into Noda. Some time later, I found myself at Series. Ummm... Let's just say things happened.

My friend turned up just in time for the movie. After the movie, I generously told her that I was waiving the $103 late fee because she had not been informed of The Clause.

So as we walked towards the bus stop
discussing The Clause, she brought up a very important point. So far, it had always been clothes or shoes or accessories.

"But what if you end up buying a laptop?" She asked.

Hmm... that thought had not crossed my mind. Interesting... very interesting... I see a solid business plan here.

*evil grin* :D


Toh... Mujhse dosti karoge? ;)



47 comments:

Dan said...

well, wasn't IST introduced in India to prevent the 'being late' problem? I mean the indian stretchable time...

Too bad that you don't reside in India ;)

PSV said...

Itni havaa..itni havaa!!!
Your friends spoil are spoiling you

PSV said...

ek spoil extra ho gaya...

mysorean said...

First time in top 5.. will read post and come back.. till then.. dekhte rahiye Sayesha's World! :)

Bivas said...

interesting and I agree...lateness shud be penalized.
The penalty proposed though taxing (not to mention, profitable ;-) ) the first time surely makes 'em all punctual.
Laptop...guess ppl have to be late in a group and thus pool in for that :D

mysorean said...

Haan chalo yar... Karenge. It's a deal!

Aap bhi kya yaad rakhogi.. kis rayiz se paala pada tha!

I pride myself on my punctuality, though off late it's been a bit 'off', so let me try it out with you.

Deeps said...

Hehehe love the idea :). I hate waiting for people too, but never got such an evil idea as yourself :). Pure genius :-D.

Sakshi said...

LOL.. I am stealing the clause.. What an evil genius you are.. Bhai.

Lalit Singh said...

Baaas... you are the intallyzaant ..zenius!!!!

asterix said...

//Toh... Mujhse dosti karoge?

bindas karega bhai!

Anonymous said...

Err, a quick question.
What do u do when ur e-friends don't log in at the pre-fixed time for Y!M/G talk?

Is it the likes of Amazon/e-bay that help u enforce ur 'clause' then? :)

Tum pehle yeh bataao, then lemme decide whether you belong to the 'Mujhse Dosti Karoge' clan or the 'Bachke Rehna Re Baba' clan! Muaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ;)

Inder said...

haha... i am famous for turning up late. of course unintentional... kisi tharah late ho jatha tha. my friends even started calling me 'late inder'. awful, isn't it? am trying to change myself.

The Smiling Girl said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
The Smiling Girl said...

Dost to hum already hain.. lekin meri achi kismat yeh hain ki main abhi Shingapura mein nahi rahti hun... :D

The Smiling Girl said...

$Anon: Whoever you are, *frowns* thanks for reminding this to Sash... *mar gayi ab SG*

How do we know said...

nahi!!!!! kar hi nahi sakte!!! hum hamesha late hote hain!!

Iday said...

To quote from my fav song from Lage Raho...

//Toh... Mujhse dosti karoge? ;)
Samjo ho hi gaya...
Samjo ho hi gaya...

:D

TMaYaD said...

does "forgot" count as a valid reason? :P

qsg said...

Considering my stellar punctuality record, I will have to say, No... :( Bummer, considering I think you are a great gal - but, I have finally come to a realization about myself - no matter what, I just can't make it on time - something ALWAYS goes wrong. Always!

:)

Sumana said...

that's evil! nonetheless a good idea to make people come on time!

PizzaDude said...

I too hate waiting for friends who turn up late... Maybe from next time, I shall exercise the "clause". :D
And Oh yeah, I would love to be a bouncer at your bar. Am very fond of orange juice :D

Di said...

Me too using this clause!!!!! I am always the one on time among those late lathiefs...grr...

The Inquisitive Akka said...

Gold-Silver-Copper trimetallic alloy---- Frandship with you??? I'll think about it :)

Nirwa said...

Dosti kar rahi hai ya dhamka rahi hai?

btw, this one and the previous post, both started with a statement, and next word was, "Literally." :P :P :P

Naya trend hai?

Literally.

Jeevan Baretto said...

Though we keep cribbing for someone whom we are waiting for till the time they come . but once they are there, it's all gone.. Isn't it true..?? At least in my case..!!

shub said...

ummm....does this work both ways? :P

Rebellion said...

LOL Sash,

Awesome that was, esp the last statement ;)

Well, probably astonishingly but am like you, very very punctual! Even I get very very restless waiting for someone, I so hate it.. so much that I even hate making someone wait for me, I get all the more restless if I can't make it on time! So I guess I am best suited for your dost ki category or considering your business plans, maybe worst ;):P

Ninu, you & your observations!!! :P

Take care,
Aarti

cardamom said...

ye to hrithik roshan ki flop picture hai...:P
abhi tak singapuri kelaa hi khaaya hai singapuri dollar nahee dekhaa..hheh kharcha kahaa se karunga..
newayz nice post!! :)

-aby

Hiren said...

Your post reminds me of what writer Khushwant Singh used to do. He used to shut his door on the visitors even if they were slightly late. Some grace period should be allowed.

Sayesha said...

#Dan,
Hahahaha! I'm not very "Indian" in a lot of ways :)

#PSV,
Yeah... and so?

#Mysorean,
Arre wah! Free ki publicity? Lage raho! :)

#Bivas,
//Laptop...guess ppl have to be late in a group and thus pool in for that :D

Hahahaha! Maybe I can hire some gundas to get my work done! ;)

#Mysorean,
Hahaha! Cool, milenge toh dekhenge aap kitne punctual ho :)

#Deeps,
:D

#Sakshi,
Muahahaha! Apun aiseich bhai thode na hai... ;)

#Lalit,
Zanks! :D

#Asterix,
//bindas karega bhai!

Aur nahin toh? Apun se dushmani zyada mehengi padegi, kyun? :D

#Anon,
Of course! Amazon.com par 'windows' shopping muahahahaha! Ok ok bad joke :|

#Inder,
Hamesha late??? Kabhi kabhi theek hai lekin hamesha??? :O :O

#Smiling Girl,
Hahahahah! :D

#How do we know,
Ok I retract my hand of friendship :)

#Iday,
Hahahah! You sound adorable when you try to write in hindi! :D

#TMaYaD,
You think? "Forgot" has a double penalty! :P

#QSG,
:'(

#Sumana,
I AM evil, baby! ;)

#PizzaDude,
Hahaha! You need to pay me for using my Clause. (Yeah, I'm milking the idea for all it's worth!) :P
ps: You're hired! :D

#Di,
Exactly!! Grrrr....

#Akka,
Think???? :O :O Wotaninsult! :/

#Nirwa,
Hahahaha! Apun toh har cheez dhamkakar karta hai, kya? ;)

//btw, this one and the previous post, both started with a statement, and next word was, "Literally." :P :P :P

Difference hai bacha, last post mein 'literally' italics mein tha, is post mein roman hai :P

#Jeevan,
Eh?? :O :O :O You mean your friends turn up, see you and leave?? Hahahahahahahah! :D :D :D

#Shub,
Aha, I see what you're gettin' at, missy! ;)

#Rebellion,
Hehehehehe.... I knew you'd be exactly like me! :P

//so much that I even hate making someone wait for me, I get all the more restless if I can't make it on time!

I can TOTALLY identify with that! :O

#Cardamom,
Kareena Kapoor ho toh Hrithik ki movie bhi flop ho jati hai :s

#Hiren,
Eeeeeeshhhhhhhh! I'd NEVER do that!! Atithi devo bhava and all :)

Iday said...

//You sound adorable when you try to write in hindi! :D
Jeez! No one's ever told me that :)
Sirf iske liye, aaj se apun hindi me bolega :D

Shekhar said...

Zaroor dosti karunga...bas yeh late hone waali aadat ko 'kick' kar doon..

Waise, aaj shaam ko dinner pe chale ?? ;)

qsg said...

Don't give me the sad smiley - I am always late re - this could be really injurious to my wallet!!! :)

shub said...

missy!!! did you get my sms yesterday? I got no reply :-?

raghu said...

lolz!
me is mister late!
im always late no mattr wat da occasion.. its more fun 2 b late dan early.. really.. cos evrytime ur late u havta make a new xcuse.. sumthin i luv doin.. cookin up stories.. abou ppl who dunt xist!
lolz.. its fun.. try it out sumtime..

Sayesha said...

#Iday,
Hahahahah! The keywords were "try to"! ;)

#Shekhar,
Hahahahahha! Dinner with you, one who eats once in a fortnight? Kabhi nahin!
*looks coyly at her nails*

#QSG,
Ok I will give you discount! :'(

#Shub,
Oh shucks! My phone was outta charge so it auto-switched off, put it to charge last night just before I went to sleep... saw your message then... thought I'd reply today, then forgot :P Will call you in a while :)

#Raghu,
Sheesh!

Sneha said...

bhai! er.. that's all i could manage- bhai!

Harsha said...

You know what, I'll take up that offer. I am ALWAYS ahead of time. Hum waqt se hameshaa 10 min aage chalte hain. No risk of losing money. SO we are friends then !!!

Iday said...

//The keywords were "try to"! ;)
Yeah - i caught that.
That comment was to say that what i heard from u was enuf incentive to keep trying more :)

Bivas said...

gundas!!! wicked ;-)

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

i cannot stand latecomers myself. what if you're waiting at home and the person is late? how to penalise? no khaana for them? :p

dunno. sometimes, i think some flexibility in time should be allowed- because shit happens. but habitual lack of punctuality is a problem that must be dealt with rightly as you have.

itna lamba comment! i miss coming to sayeshaz re! life has taken over! :'(

Sayesha said...

#Sneha,
Hahahaha! Koi baat nahin... Bhai ko dekhkar achhe acchon ki bolti band ho jati hai. :D

#Harsha,
Done! :)

#Iday,
Hahahaa, okie cool :)

#Bivas,
:D

#Ipanema Gal,
//no khaana for them? :p

I usually go for the 'No starters' route. Esp cos my starters tend to be very yummy *proud look* :P

//i miss coming to sayeshaz re! life has taken over!

I miss you too yaar... especially the way you used to daantofy me if I didn't post regularly :'(

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

one beeeg hug to you. :-)
i guess this is the offshoot of getting to know someone outside the blog...the expectations from their blog, the perception of their blog, all change. For eg. because i now know you're busy, etc. etc. i wouldn't insist on a post like it's my birthright. :) (apart from the fact that i am not checking blogs as often)

weird it is.....but well..i cannot say knowing you outside the blog is any less fun..;) so we'll make some trade-offs here. :-)

>:D< or whatever that is. ;)

Rebellion said...

Aawww,

Sash & Lajjo.. Hugs to ul. I so loved your conversation :)

>:D< to both of ul :)

Take care,
Aarti

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Janitri said...

Not at all a bad idea... but tell me if you get any discounts during festival times??

Ranjini said...

Hi Sayesha,

This is Ranjini here. Ran into ur blog by chance and enjoyed reading it thoroughly. Looking fwd to many more posts