Monday, October 17, 2005

It was a dream, wasn't it?

Some time ago, I had a dream.

Or did I?

Have you ever had a dream that felt so real, even after you woke up, that was so fresh in the mind days later, that you often wondered if it really was a dream? Or did it really happen without you realising it? Can you manage to sneak away from your life and live a completely different life and still make it back in time to catch the bus to work?

In DDLJ, Simran asks her father to take a month out of her own life and give it to her to live. I wonder if that can really work literally. Is it possible that we can take a few moments, days, months or even years out of our own life, and live it like a dream, and suddenly wake up and find ourselves back where we were, with the same familiar faces that had been with us, sans the moments, days, months and years that had passed and yet, somehow had not passed?

Long ago, I saw an episode of the X-files, where the same day was being repeated over and over again. And no one realised it, except one girl. Every one would wake up to the same day, not knowing it, and would live their life for the day in the exact same way. Every single day. And the lone girl looked on, bewildered, waiting for the cycle to end, the glitch to fix itself, so life could go on normally.

What is time really?


Going back to my dream, it was strange and unfamiliar. And yet, it was magical. It was different. I was different. The way I live my life, my strict discipline, my fierce independence, my attitude towards life, my values, my expectations, my feelings, every thing seemed to have different shades. I could not recognise my own self. It was good and it was bad.

It felt like I had taken some moments out of my own life and was living someone else's life. And then the dream got over and I returned to the point where I had left my original life. Without anyone around me realising it. As if I had chosen to take an overhead bridge instead of crossing the road at the traffic light along with the others. And somehow, I had crossed the bridge so fast, that I reached the other side of the road at the exact same time as the others did. And no one had even realised that I had taken a different path, and was missing. I had stolen a few moments of my own life and lived it by myself as I crossed the bridge.


Yet somehow, it did not seem like a dream. I really was living that life. Every time I close my eyes, I can still see that dream so clearly. I can relive each moment as if it had really happened. I had laughed in it, cried in it, got angry in it, loved in it. Even now, I can sense those feelings. It felt so real, it was scary. But it never happened, did it?

Yes, I loved it. At times more than my real life. But if I were given the choice to go on living in that dream and never wake up, what would I do? Would I choose to live that alternate life or would I be happy to go back to my old life, where everything was familiar, where I recognised people around me, where I knew myself? Which one was the real deal? Was the dream my real life, or was my real life the dream?

Now I have woken up, and I am wondering.


A dream it was and I should dismiss it as one. It was not real. I will never have that dream again. It will never cross paths with my real life.

It was just a dream.

Wasn't it?



31 comments:

Sushant Bhatia said...

Haha I claim First! My day is made.....now i can die in peace!

Ravi said...

Wow. Some heavy stuff.

I do not want to govern or direct how you blog. But I want to give a humble suggestion. Whenever you have such heavy Brain Draining posts please give a warning like I'm giving before my own Brain draining stuff. ;) Like this-

Warning: Complex thoughts ahead

Our reality is what we percieve everyday around us. Isn't it? Sayesha, what if your present life is not real? What if this life you live is actually the dream? Maybe the bridge that you passed was that occasional stopover in real life. Maybe it was another dream in your dream. How do you know what is the actual reality? Does it even matter what the reality is? As long as you do not realise that you live in a dream, as long as you have complete faith that your existence as you know of it now is the actual reality, how will your being in a dream be of any importance? Is there anything of importance other than what we feel? What we percieve? Where would you rather be? In the dream world of your current perceptions or in the real world that seems like a dream world. I sometimes wonder what reality is anyway. If you look from a viewpoint, everything is real. From another viewpoint, everything is a dream. This again is one of those eternal questions that keep me involved in thought. I do not have any answers.

Jay said...

"Have you ever had a dream that felt so real, even after you woke up"

deja vu!! ;-). Matrix beckons eh? Wake up Sayesha! :p

Humjoli said...

well, well, well. what was the dream will shayesha tell us guys?

Sayesha said...

#Sushant,
Are you there???? Don't die here please. I dun wan no dead body at Sayeshaz! :P

#Ravi,
Wow. I mean WOW. I love your complex thoughts man.

//If you look from a viewpoint, everything is real. From another viewpoint, everything is a dream.

Couldn't agree more.

ps: Sayesha always strikes without warning. ;)

#Jay,
Yes, indeed, the feel was very 'matrix-y'! :|

#Humjoli,
//what was the dream will shayesha tell us guys?

No, she won't.

ps: And anyway, Sayesha doesn't disclose her dreams to pple who misspell her name. :P

Humjoli said...

thats not fair sash, i would rather stick to calling you sash instead of so long sayesha in which there is chance of misspelling. Have you read the book 'Tell me your dreams' by sydney sheldon? i am asking the same now 'tell me ur dream sash'

Anil said...

Arz hai..
Main to khwab dekha karta tha,
par kabhi khwaab mein bhi yeh nahin socha ki,
haqeeqat usse bhi bada khwaab hoga.


Tell me your dreams Sayesha... tell me... I'm watching you.... watching you as you sleep... *throws head back* mwaaaaaaahahahahaha....

Rays Of Sun said...

Boy Man Sash,

I came to work late today, coz I woke up late.
Reason: A horrible dream in which I miss my flight (remember I talked about it in my post);)and I have no ID, I cannot find my purse which somehow is left with my sister..and I cannot even find the boarding gate!!

I truly hope I never come to experience this thing in reality:D

Sometimes, dreams are larger than life:)

Sayesha said...

#Humjoli,
Too late man. You lost your chance! ;)
On a serious note, it was too dark a dream for me to share it with anyone :|

#WH Anil,
Aao thakur! Welcome back! Kahan reh gaye they?? Aur aate hi shaayari? Wah wah!
ps: You watchin' me sleep, you wigged stalker?? :@

#ROS,
I laughed out loud when I saw your "Boy Man Sash"! Make up your mind what I am, girl! :P
Yeah, some dreams can scare you, while others leave you very disillusioned. Some confuse you beyond comprehension, which is what mine did.

Rays Of Sun said...

# Sash,
Hehe..no that Boy Man thingie I say irresepctive of gender:( So don't take it personally, girlie!
You know sometimes your worst dreams can never come true! So, since yours was a dark one..beleive me..it will not!

Sayesha said...

#ROS,
I know I know. It jus sounded funny -- Boy Man Sash! Hahahaha! :D

//So, since yours was a dark one..beleive me..it will not!

That's the prob. I think it was not a dream. I think it really happened to me. It was too real to be a dream...

Rays Of Sun said...

# Sash,

OK! Go chillax with a warm cup of coffee:) That will help you get over that dream! It did not 'happen' to you girl! Wake up!!!

nuttysocrates said...

hmm u need to sleep more and catch less sci - fi

Ro said...

i identify with you. this happens very often with me. the dream lingers on and seems so real, often frighteningly and wonderfully so. for better or worse, reality does eventually creep back in.

eV said...

>I saw an episode of the X-files, where the same day was being repeated over and over again. And no one realised it, except one girl.

Hmmm.. Groundhog Day is also based on a similar funda. I remember liking the movie.

virdi said...

Have you ever had a dream that felt so real, even after you woke up....

Awesome opening... looks like its Morpheus giving gyan to Neo... hehehehe...

V..

Vikram said...

Like Jay mentioned it, clearly implies Deja Vu!

I have had a few too. Some can be really creepy and knock the daylights out of you.

Anyway, good description of your thoughts and 'dreams'.

Vikram H said...

This is a perfect feeling of deja vu that all people in life go through at some point or the other! And these are so vivid at times that people often tend to be in a constant dilemma as to what the truth was! But most people end up disregarding it, branding it as a 'coincidence'!

But there are recorded instances of people being able to transcend the time barrier while in sleep, and see future events. And trust me, there have been way too many instances when i have felt that i've been in some particular situation with certain parameters, too many times in the past. And i certainly feel they have a significance!

Vikram H said...

And...The description of your thoughts was superb! I have left a comment on your prev post too...

Leon said...

Brrr.. this is just way too profound for me.. and to think I came here for relief.. I'm getting back to my distributing computing assignment.. ;-)

Bhole said...

Dreams are illustrations... from the book your soul is writing about you - Marsha Norman

Bhole

Sayesha said...

#ROS,
//It did not 'happen' to you girl!

I hope you're right, dear! :O

#Nutty,
Yes, I definitely need more sleep... but you know what? I'm scared of sleeping lest I end up in another one of such "dreams"! :O

#Ro,
// reality does eventually creep back in.

Yeah, it's happening now, I think. But I dunno if I am happy or sad about it. Weird...

#ev,
Will try and get hold of it. I was so amazed when I first saw the concept in the X-files! Couldn't stop thinking about it!

#Virdi,
Glad that you're back, and glad that you felt like commenting. :)

#Vik,
It did knock the living daylights outta me, still does when I think about it.

#Vikram H,
Thanks! Yeah, And I know exactly what you mean when you say pple can transcend the time barrier when in sleep...

#Leon,
Hey, you're still around?? Welcome back ! And goodbye? :O
ps: Good luck for your assignment. This post was written when I was getting sick of doing my research assignment.

#Bhole,
Interesting...

viv said...

Must see The Thirteenth Floor...

As long as you are able to live life the way you want to, does it matter if it is "real"?

Maybe this is something like forced schizophrenia...

Fao said...

hey, freud's lil elf! you shot needles at me thro a pea shooter...wonder what that dream meant. guess that was just prophetic. *wink!*

be dreamgirl again. wud love to mate...eeps...meet ya. (freudian slip. pardonnez moi! wait...freud wore a slip? sheesh! these austrian cross-dressers take the bakery!)

Ravi said...

Since we are talking about X-files here, I would like to make special mention of Disneys Alladin. There was one episode where Alladin and Genie witness two waring factions (they are spirits really) cursed to live the same day everyday. Each morning they rise from the sands without any memories of the previous day to fight each other. The fight happens in exactly the same way & one faction wins everyday.

A Jane said...

//I saw an episode of the X-files, where the same day was being repeated over and over again.//

//Groundhog Day is also based on a similar funda. //

Have forgotten the name of the flick but it starred Drew Barrymore and have also forgotten the dude who tries to help her. She's stuck in a time warp after an accident and wakes up and does the same thing everyday. Her dad and bro take pains to do the same things every single day for her since otherwise it would affect her psychologically. Guess a lot of stories have been taken from this theme...

I bet Tarzan in the jungle does exactly the same thing everyday...sit on the tree top, eat bananas and swing from vines with his gorilla mates....

A Jane

Ravi said...

# a jane
That film with Drew Barrimore was 50 first dates.

A Jane said...

Thanks Ravi, for jogging my memory!

Sash said...

Ur post made interesting reading..i get dreams that are very close to reality. most of the time they are just a continuation of what occured in the day...so when i wake up i am fully loaded with thoughts....

Sayesha said...

#Viv,
Yeah, I really wanna watch it! Will borrow it some time.

Forced schizo... hmmm... interesting concept...

#Fao,
Errr... I have nothing else to say! :P

#Ravi,
Yeah, looks like it's not that uncommon a concept... esp in movies and tv shows...

#A Jane, Ravi,
Didn't watch the movie 'cos I can't stand Drew Barrymore (except in E.T.). Was it any good?

#Sash,
Thanks, man! :)

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