Sunday, July 02, 2006

The aftermat(c)h

So I watched the football match last night.

It was a lose-lose-lose situation.

Before you think that I'm embarking upon a detailed analysis of how and why England lost, let me assure you that my limited knowledge of how the game works ensures that no such thing is gonna happen in this post.

Well the lose-lose-lose situation is because of the following:

1. England lost the match.
2. My flatmates lost money.
3. I lost interest in football forever and ever.

Yeah, I have lost all the little interest I had in the game. Simply after watching one game.

You might say that I don't get it.

I agree with you fully. Yup, I don't get it.

I don't get how 22 guys (one of which is a strapping 6 and a half feet tall) can run around like crazy all over the field after a ball for two whole hours and all they can come up with is a miserable 0-0 score? You mixed the flour, eggs and sugar in front of me. You put the mixture in the oven to bake while I watched. Now what do you mean by "Sorry, there's no cake"?? I want my cake, hello? I came here for the cake!

At least in cricket, even if you don't run for two hours, a wide selection of wide balls, no balls, fours and sixers will ensure a nice little positive number on the scoreboard. I think I'll just go back to watching cricket.


And what's with the whole concept of 'heading the ball'? I mean, doesn't it like damage the brain cells? Who came up with that concept anyway? Was it that one fine day, during a match, a coach yelled at one of the players, "Use your head, dimwit!" and they just thought that he meant literally?

I wonder if the dimwittedness is because of the heading or the heading is because of the dimwittedness. It's a chicken and egg problem. Maybe it's all the heading the players do that makes them so disoriented that when they get hit in the stomach by a player of the other team, they clutch their eye and wince in pain. Perhaps they need a lesson in Body Parts 101. Someone needs to explain to them why the scene from Munnabhai where he holds up an x-ray of the skull and declares, "Lympho sarcoma of the intestine!" is so funny. Seriously, what's with all that drama? I don't remember seeing much of this injury-faking in cricket, except of course by the-one-who-shall-not-be-named-by-Sayesha for fear of getting lynched by the entire state of West Bengal.

I was told that if nothing works, I could always motivate myself to watch the game because of the tall dashing manly hunks. Ricardo (or was it Ronaldo?) chose that particular moment to unleash his whiney voice upon unsuspecting female fans who'd never heard him speak before. And then David Beckham burst into tears. 'Nuff said.

But yes, I did learn a few things other than the rules. Contrary to my belief that Kaka was someone's uncle, it turns out it's just his nickname. His real name is probably something else, this is actually his ghar ka naam. I can't wait for the day when India plays the World Cup, represented by our very own gharelu team of the talented Pappu, Munna, Chintu, Happy, Lallu, Bunty, Chiku, Pintu, Bablu, Golu and Chunnu.

Disclaimer:
The rather naive and silly opinions expressed here belong solely to the author. If you do not agree with them, it's fine. Do not make a fool of yourself by trying to convince her about how great the game is. Otherwise she may just roll up a newspaper and thwack you on the head.

THWACK!

Oh, I'm sorry, did that hurt your knee?



90 comments:

The Girl Who Sold The World said...

GOLD!!!
Thenga to TGFI! Dekh, dekh...vacation par jaane se pehle bhi tujhe hara kar jaa rahee hoon. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

**does a bit of a victorious wardance**.

Ab hum post padhenge. :D

wordsmith said...

I don't believe this !!!
I am the first one to post a comment on ur post!

Ich bin der erster!!!
Yoooohooo...alright, that was oft-repeated 'I am First' in German.


And yes, I did see that ill-fated England Vs Portugal match y'day...and horror of horrors, my friends and I landed up in a Mexican Pub here to watch the game! Poor me...felt like I was the only English aficionado in the whole pub! **sob-sob*

wordsmith said...

oooooooooops, how did this happen???

Sorry TGWSTW!
U deserve the honor...I shall retreat to the second place!!
Aaaaaawwwww **sob**

The Girl Who Sold The World said...

Hahahaha, I'm BEYOND joy at England and Brazil's defeat (hopes that TGFI is reading this). Muhahahaha, it's gonna be Italy all the way!!! :D :D :D Yeeeeeehaaaaa!!!

Oh, and that Kaka's name thingie is hilarious! In Punjabi, 'Kaka' means a little boy. I remember talking about this player Kaka to a cousin of mine and my Nani was like, "Oh, do teams have "kakas" too?!"...hahahaha, she thought that there was actually a little boy in the team. Gee wiz, football ignoramuses! :P

And David Beckham, a dashing manly HUNK???!!! Euggghhhh...he looks like a CROW! A starved and sick one at that...some crow who's just escaped from a hailstorm and is looking for shelter. Pffft.


@Wordsmith: Muhahahaha, I beat ya!!! And oh, languages? Let me say it here too.
Je suis la première. [French]
Soy la primera. [Spanish]
Jeg er den først. [Norwegian]

That's it...I'm yet to learn other languages. :P

Muhahahahahaha.

The Girl Who Sold The World said...

@Wordsmith:
Oh, yes, yes, be happy with the second place...first is mine, mine, MINE! :P

And rejoice that you didn't let TGFI get the silver. Ha!

wordsmith said...

@ TGWSTW:
'Take a Bow'
Oh dear, so now we have a linguaphile gracing Sash's blog!!!

But pssssssst, I think u forgot to impress us with your prowess on the hindi and Punjabi languages!! :)))

wordsmith said...

and yes dearie, can't say how happy I am with the second place!!!

Phew! May be Schumi, Alonso n the gang should hv a race in Sash's blog...

Any guesses on who gets the podium?

Abhishek said...

though i have been following the WC with mild enthu, the most jarring point is the fake dives and all the drama players enact in the field...somehow the purity of a sport seems lost while watching football...
long time since i last commented...u r as usual churning out excellent posts...Thanx! :)

shub said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
One of your best and funniest posts ever girl (imo)! :D loved every bit of it! some super lines in there! :)

@tgfi...beat you to it :P yayayayay!

Nirwa said...

Hark hark hark! My thoughts exactly about the game where people run around aimlessly kicking a round object they call ball! :p

I'd prefer playing with eyeballs anyday!

Nirwa

Vikram said...

Cricket is for sissys... even if it rains ten miles away from the field, they pull up the covers and get back to playing after two days... it's so boring....

and Test Match?? who the hell named it a Test Match? what sense does it make? Are you testing the player's ability to take tea breaks, lunch breaks and overnight breaks??

I mean, c'mon... a sport has to be played aggresively and within a limited frame of time... That's when teams really compete to play better.. In cricket, there is hardly any contact with the opponent... you wear freakin' helmets, pads, gloves and what not to protect yourself...

I hate cricket.. i just can't stand it... it's the most boring game ever invented...

Duhita said...

Sash, the nerdy side kicks in...:D Apparently India did make it to the WC in the 50's I believe BUT they withdrew becase they weren't allowed to play barefoot!!!

Chals if soccer doesnt do it for you, shall we try the next game, how abt hockey?!:) Seeing it live is all the more fun, trust me! That is something you will see India in at the Hockey World Cup later this year!!!

Raam Pyari said...

baaaaaaaahhhhhhhhiiiiiiiinnnnnnn

main wapisss aa gayiiiiiiiiiii
*huuuuuugggggssssssssssss*

mera pc marr gaya tha...isiliye blogistan se door thi...sayeshaz parr kal bhi aayi thi but tab takk maxx comments ho gaye they isiliye i waited for a fresh post!

I MISSED SAYESHAZZZZZ
*breaks into tears of joy*

P.S. i dun care a bit for futball shutball.huh!

Iday said...

Bad luck that u gotta see this match. Beleive me - this is not the best football match. It was pretty much close to a boring match - with portugal attacking without any attacking skills and England defending with that notorious defence of theirs (which was surprisingly good y'day). Guess u read all that on my blog anyway :)

Yeah - the players faking injuries is a big pain for anyone seeing the game. So much so that FIFA had warned the players against it and this still happens. May be we got used to it as we see a lot more of this in all those European League matches.

So i brave the THWACK and suggest u to give it a few more tries. See some more matches - it will just take one good match to prove how good the game is. But with the teams remaining, i dont think u'll get to see any such match in this world cup. The Confederations cup 2 years ago would have been just the perfect beginning.

Everybody seems to be pretty happy beating TGFI. So yeah - tgfi, me too :P

@TGWSTW - Italy??? They're a good defending side and they've got a good attack. They played well against Ukraine simply coz it was Ukraine - i dont remember any game when i saw Italy score 3 goals. And they are playing Germany. I think their chances are pretty weak. It will be a good game though.

Dev said...

"Use your head, dimwit!" Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

And some of the injury acts are hilarious... I mean, this guy rolls over in pain as if he needs an operation just to walk again... and the next minute, he's racing down the field to score a goal...

I wonder if the injury acts are part of their training.... "101 ways to get ur opponent sent off" :P

Sakshi said...

"Oh, I'm sorry, did that hurt your knee?" heheehe Zhakas..

I am an avid sports buff, so I don't agree with the football analyis.. but the blog made a lot of sense, once I assumed you were talking about golf.

PSV said...

awesome post, absolutely wonderful girl!
and yes "use your head" was a masterstroke.dont be so disheartened, if you wanted to watch soccer for the hunks tune in to the italy-germany game...italian team is full of models.
and football anyday is far better than cricket, just the fact the whole world plays football compared to just 10 nations playing cricket makes all the more difference about the quality of the game.
Football is a great leveller, the world's two most populated countries couldnt even qualify and the world's super power was defeated by the malnourished ghanians.
the frenzy associated with world cup is mind blowing, stick around for one more week coz Deco from Portugal, Henry from france, Ballack from Germany and Totti from Italy are still not done yet!

ratan said...

yaa it did hurt my knee.. ha ha

i support ur argument for cricket..
atleast kuch to chalta rahta hai naa.
football 1.30 - 2 ghante baitho and u finally see 0-0. so sad yaar.

IndianArchie said...

Hmmmm....foot-ball pasand nahin aaya...bat-ball dekh nahin sakti...maybe you should stick to Kho-Kho...mazaa aayega watching men running after each other doing pakda pakdi.

IndianArchie
Musings that Amuse

Rebellion said...

Awesome post Sash!!!

Laughing all the way to that!!
From the start to the end, dunno which part to call most hilarious! But specifically loved your Indian cricket ke gharlu team! hehehehe :))

//"Oh, I'm sorry, did that hurt your knee?"
ROFL
Ouch.. My stomach actually hurt dear.. I laughed soooo much!

Excellent one dear,

Take care,
Aarti

!xobile said...

stupid match yaar..

i was standin outside an english pun but the reaction of the huge english crowd around me was much less dramatic than i expected. i thought people'd cry and all but everybody just walked away frowning.

Sirius Black said...

Portugal won , i got richer :D
World cup Rulezz :P

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

hahahaha. good one sayesha. i loved the pappu bablu bit the most.

and for all those who are laughing at me, are you done? do you still have some rocks to throw at me? if so, then i'll stick around...

*sniff sniff*

Joy said...

ha ha ha this post is lovely, simply lovely and silly too! :-)) You remind me of how I disliked golf... the game of hitting the ball, following it and hitting it again, then following it again, then hitting it again. What a bore! :-))

What do you mean by saying I should watch a one- dayer cricket game? You really mean a ONE- DAYER? Gosh, I never thought it lasts that long! Hmmm... interesting, interesting. I think I should start to google cricket and not listen to Vikram (peace, bro!).

Someone's uncle???? What???? You, silly, you!! He's cute, yes? You must agree with me, we're friends, right otherwise I'll give you a thwack... on your knee! :-))

PS Kaka in French means poop
:-((((((((((((( (ok ok I know you're laughing)

delusional said...

Umm, yep.. I guess the England-Portugal match was a wrong match for Football newbies to start off with. Nevertheless, the penalty shoot out was awesome. Just imagine, Cristiano Ronaldo walking up there to score that last penalty with millions watching every move of his. Damn, very gutsy sport.

Anish said...

hey sayesha...dropping by to say hi after a loong loong time...england-portugal was not the match to start off watching this sport with...my money is on germany...urs ?

Raj said...

Its funny that the first match you decided to watch turned out to be "not very exciting". But its okay if u dont like football. It has enuf fans in the world already. Cricket, otoh, needs fans like you tp spread it all around the world (which i know is not gonna happen)

satish said...

kaun kahta hai kee portugal aur england kaa match interesting nahin tha. itna saara action aur emotion kahin milta hai kya??! We had 'unstable' peter crouch, trying to balance himself against the wind, then wayne rooney getting a red card (loved it), beckham out of the field for the first time ( first time a gud decision frm the coach), and finally some gud football from ricardo.

i loved the game and i am gonna cheer for portugal now on.

jeetega bhai jeetega portugal jeetega!

satish said...

chaliye bye :)

SM said...

Brazil lost the game ,so sad.
But I dont care ,who won or lost.I lost my $10 bet .

Princesse said...

This is just sooooo funny sash!! You're TOO cute :)

Somya said...

You interpretation of football was fantabulous. But I guess I love this game because it involves more of energy and action than cricket(remember Dravid staying on the crease for good two hrs with just two runs scored with opp ballers irritated beyond measures. I am sure they must be like Bhai ball nahi pakdenge tu bhag to(run b/w the wickets). Well I had the worst time on friday wid two of my fave teams playing againt each other Germany Vs Argentina.

Apy said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Apy said...

Yo babe... nice post.... i saw jus one match .. Argentina vs Germany.. cdn see any af that .. was too busy partyin...lol..

zoxcleb said...

i like ur analogy tothe cake.. quite a novel way to look at the whole thing. and no, for fear of hurting my other knee, i wont do any such thing as convince u how good football is. esp since i only watch the world cup :-)

Aparna S Mallya said...

wow, sayesha, U TOOK THE WORDS RIGHT OUTTA MY MIND, gal!

i keep telling my hubby how cricket is more interesting than soccer. in soccer the only momemt of joy is (or rather, when ) people score a goal. but in cricket there's SIX, FOUR, OUT happening all arnd!!!

which means, u eat yr cake n get it too, what say? ;)

Sayesha said...

#World Gal,
Arre wah... sona hi sona... tu toh Bappi Lahiri ho gayi re :D

#Wordsmith,
//Ich bin der erster!!!

Nope, youch bin der seconder! Muahahaha my German is soooo gooood! :D

#World Gal,
//Gee wiz, football ignoramuses! :P

Ahem... think before you write... you're on the blog of one of 'em! And she's holdin' a rolled up newspaper remember? :P

Beckham does look like a wet crow at times, but he was still one of the better ones :)

#Wordsmith,
Egg-jactly. World Gal, tu apne desh ko bhool gayi??? :O *shocked look*

#Wordsmith,
Hehehe... may the best (looking) man win! :D

#Abhishek,
Hey, long time! Welcome back! :)

#Shub,
Thanks :P

#Nirwa,
//I'd prefer playing with eyeballs anyday!

Your scary eyes in your profile pic are enough! :P

#Vikram,
Hahahaaha! I hate test cricket too... it's too damn long! :P

//In cricket, there is hardly any contact with the opponent...

I believe I dun really wanna see the guy of contact with the opponent that Roonie displayed in that match! :/

#Duhita,
//BUT they withdrew becase they weren't allowed to play barefoot!!!

WHAT?? Really??? :O :O :O

And hockey?? Hahahaha! No way! :D

#Raam Pyari,
Hugs back to my dear bahinnnnn... missed you bacha... computer gaya kabristan aur tuney chhod diya blogistan?? Bahut nainsafi hai! :D
ps: You changed your URL AGAIN??? X-(

#Iday,
I have one thing to say to you - THWACK! :D

#Dev,
//I mean, this guy rolls over in pain as if he needs an operation just to walk again... and the next minute, he's racing down the field to score a goal...

Hahahahaha! I believe I have witnessed that! :D

#Sakshi,
Hahahaha! Golf is another one... lagta hai ek hi banda apne saath hi khel raha hai... aur usko dekhne junta khadi hai dhoop hai! :O

#PSV,
//tune in to the italy-germany game...italian team is full of models.

Aha! Now you're talkin'! ;)

#Ratan,
//atleast kuch to chalta rahta hai naa.

Exactly! :D

#Archie,
//bat-ball dekh nahin sakti...

Arre yeh kisne kaha?? I'm going back to my first love - cricket. Yeh football-shootball toh bas rebound tha! :/

//mazaa aayega watching men running after each other doing pakda pakdi.

Eeeeeeeks! I dunno what all you like to see man.... :D

#Aarti,
Hehehe... arre gharelu team par mat hans... after a few decades, girls will be holding up banners saying, "I love you Chintu!" and "Marry me, Pappu!" :D

#!Xobile,
Arre you should have cried for them na :P

#Sirius,
Hahaha! How much moolah did you make? :)

#Ipanema Gal,
Arre yaar... senti kaiku hoti hai... bola na, wait and watch - Italian team ka pizza bhi ban sakta hai! ;)

#Joy,
//the game of hitting the ball, following it and hitting it again, then following it again, then hitting it again.

Hahahaha! What a hilarious description! :P

And yeah, a one-dayer is really a one-dayer! :P

Hahaha... yeah poopy Kaka is cute... kind of... Hahahaha! :P

//right otherwise I'll give you a thwack... on your knee! :-))

OUCH! Hey, my thumb hurts! :D

#Delusional,
Yeah.. but I don't have the nerve to sit thru another one... okay maybe one more - the Italian hunks :D

#Anish,
OMG is it you Unni??? Sheesh, where the hell have you been man???? Welcome back!!!!! :D

//my money is on germany...urs ?

In my wallet, buddy. Not going anywhere! ;)

#Raj,
Sigh... Football mein aisa kya hai jo cricket mein nahin?? Cricket ke paas toh meri maa bhi hai! :P

#Satish,
//We had 'unstable' peter crouch, trying to balance himself against the wind

Hahahaha! I agree!!! I actually thought he looked like a newborn giraffe trying to stand up on its legs :D

Chaliye bye! :)

#Sharda,
Hahaha! You too, eh? :P

#Princesse,
Whoa look who's here! Welcome back and thanks! :)

#Somya,
Yeah I guess it does have more energy to it, but spread it out over a day, and there, you have a nice lil one-dayer :P

#Apy,
Enjoy! :)

#Zoxcleb,
Thanks :)

//for fear of hurting my other knee, i wont do any such thing as convince u how good football is

Wise decision, my friend! :)

#Aparna,
//soccer the only momemt of joy is (or rather, when ) people score a goal

Exactly! :D

Anonymous said...

how the interest in what sports you play changes...

workers like football;
middle management like tennis;
top management like golf.

as you go up in ladder, balls reduce in size ... :) ... (apologies to the stronger sex for the sexist joke)

Iday said...

//I have one thing to say to you - THWACK! :D
:(

Ash said...

Well, i have heard this over and over again at home.
My father a great football fan and us who love cricket ...
but the other way round about cricket as the better one .....is hillarious ......

Ash

spamtaneous said...

yeah...football is boring esp when no one scores.... but then unlike cricket you dont need sit and watch all day...

spamtaneous said...

btw...i found you in orkut...and u look hot :)

Anonymous said...

naaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh
www.smilethesmile.blogspot.com!!!!!
aur kutch anhi!

raam pyarri

Sayesha said...

#Anonymous,
Errr...
*one of the few times when Sayesha runs outta words* :)

#Iday,
Areeee chill yaar! I'd been holding the rolled up newspaper for so long, had to thwack someone na... :P

#Ash,
:)

#Spammy,
Yeah... football has higher probability of being boring over cricket! :P

//btw...i found you in orkut...and u look hot :)

Hehehe... thanks thanks... ho jata hai kabhi kabhi galti se... Sash bhi hot dikhne lagti hai...

So why didn't ya leave me a message on Orkut? Unless you're the one who left that "Hey sweeto wats up...wana be frend" message on my scrappy today! :O

#Raam Pyari,
Okie I'll update... but if you change one more time na, Luke Henderson ki kasam, khoon kharaba ho jayega! :/

veetraag said...

Dear Sayesha,
Read your comment in Megha's blog,so came to investigate.Just read the one about football.
Never could interest myself in the game.Too many people and not much play, Give me cricket any day.
Sorry for the rhyme, been reading Ogden Nash.
BTW Anonymous I love tennis, so do I qualify for middle managament?
Do keep writing.WILL HAUNT THIS BLOG FROM NOW ON.
Love,
veetraag

spamtaneous said...

i was so overwhelmed by ur beauty (read hotness) that i could find alphabets on my keeyboard :p

spamtaneous said...

*couldn't

IndianArchie said...

You check your orkut scraps?? Do you also reply to them?

IA

Anonymous said...

Wood!!........yeppie...
England ruled over us around 200 yrs.. so its kinda ok to watch dem loosing..
-by the anon who defeated you in last blog...

Iday said...

//Areeee chill yaar! I'd been holding the rolled up newspaper for so long, had to thwack someone na... :P
okie - chill chill :)
GOLD GOLD!!! I was the first one to get a THWACK :D

Vijay said...

Sweetheart, there is another game called Cricket where 22 guys sweat it out for 5 days and on the sixth day you read in the newspapers (more so because by end of the second day everyone would have stopped watching the match) that the match was a draw. ICC has managed to convice about 10 nations in the entire world to play this game. 'Nuff said.

Freddy Mercury said...

You know what's really pathetic? Your desire to have an opinion about something you know absolutely nothing about!

How stupid do you have to be to expect a Brazilian player to have a name that makes sense in Hindi? It's not funny- it's immature and you're not 12.

And Beckham injured himself so he cried? Is that too hard to get?

There is a reason football is not the same as cricket- the reasons is that it is a different sport, genius!!

You don't know jacksquat about football, and yes I know your lame pathetic disclaimer states that already. And your stupid point about there not being goals? Well there are cricket matches where no wickets are taken.

You've just gotten to a point where you feel the dire need to verbalise every miniscule opinion you have on things you don't even know about and that makes this blog really fake and really sad.

P.S. Italicising the last line doesn't make it smarter.

Freddy Mercury said...

And thanks Vijay, love your opinion bro.

Vikram said...

I'm with Freddy Mercury on this. :)

Sudipta Chatterjee said...

See, in spite of the huge THWACK on my knees (which already hurt from thinking too much), I'll give you a simple analogy.

Imagine 22 hunks chasing a gal, with each one trying to score a point (oh, even if that involves kicking around)... with one referee acting as the chaperone to maintain 'gentleman'-ly behaviour! At the end of such a marathon 2-hour ball-chase :D the gal finally decides that she has had enough, and will remain a spinster to teach everyone (including people like Sayesha who were watching the show) a lesson. But these unfortunate hunks have had enough... they just get their 5+5 best people to give "the coveted one" a kick of her life! Alas, one person from each such team tries to save her by jumping from the goal line as soon as the "Thwack" is heard, and thus the tale of the princess is complete!

*Takes a bow*

Sayesha said...

#Veetraaq,
Welcome to Sayeshaz! :)
Hey, I used to read Ogden Nash a loooong time ago! :)

#Spammy,
Wah wah! And you proved it in the subsequent comment too! ;)

#Archie,
Yes I do reply to them :)

#Anon,
Wood! Hahahaha! :D

#Iday,
HAHAHAHAHAHA! OMG I almost fell off laughing! :D

#Vijay,
I already said I don't like test cricket, it's too long and boring, and nothing seems to happen. :)

#Freddy,
Welcome welcome... I was waiting for my MAC on this post :)
1. I am assuming that you only have opinions on things that you have done a PhD in? But I'm only human, you see, and I tend to have opinions on things I dunno much about too. Hope that's ok?
2. I expressed an opinion about a sport I dunno much about. You expressed an opinion about a girl you dunno much about. You do the math.
3. I can't believe that you took this post so seriously that you actually sat down to rebutt the Kaka and the Beckham points of my post :)
4. Yes, I will verbalise every miniscule opinion on every little thing I know jacksquat about. It's MY blog you see :)
5. I'm just a girl who does not like football. Why is it so hard for you to get that? And I thought you were the smarter one.
6. And oh, if my blog is so fake and sad and if you think that I think it's a very smart move to italicise the last line of my fake and sad post, maybe you should just stop reading this stupid blog and start your own - I'm sure it will be full of smart lines.

#Vikram,
Thanks, Vikram.
ps: You know how some guys think they know everything about girls and write girl gyan posts? At least we know how to take them in the right spirit. And I thought football teaches you spirit.

#Sudipta,
Oh gosh I think I hit your knee... you've received serious injury to your head. What was that analogy all about?? :O
ps: I hope your comment had nothing to do with the West Bengal bit in my post. I know you're more mature than that :P

KS said...

That strapping six foot and beyond giant is a nitwit - Crouch, its this dumb lucky as can be bugger who's antics cost em the match and Rooney's untimely exit too.

I vote for ze deutschland, you?

Freddy Mercury said...

Just because you think the post is incredibly funny (which it isn't) and written in good humour (which it isn't) does not make it intelligent.

Stand up comics like Robin Williams have made hilarious observations about the game but they didn't have to liken Kaka to an uncle to get laughs. The joke is idiotic. And you probably were sitting by the match taking mental notes on the awesome blog post you were gonna make about it the following day and nothing funny really hit you, so hey..why not make a lame hindi joke!

Just face it- You write about this kinda stuff for your "audience" to make yourself look like the seen-it-all-done-it-all that you so obviously are not.

And your grand defence about your blog to anon commentators is always the same "dont read my blog, go start your own one"... is that the best you can come up with?

Sayesha said...

#Freddy,
I never claimed my blog was funny or intelligent. If you like it, fine. If you don't, fine. I will write exactly what I wanna write on my blog - lame humour and idiotic jokes included. With pride.

And my grand defence is always the same every single time because you guys just don't get it in one go, do ya? :)

The fame that you are trying to get on my blog by flaming me can be better garnered if you write that intelligent and geuinely hilarious blog that you are apparently so capable of.

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

freddy,
disputing another, and disagreeing with something/someone for the heck of it, just to be different from the several others that have enjoyed it, is NOT the new hotness.
get over it.

freddysbuddy said...

freddy baba
u r 2 qt. will u pls do frenship wid me? i am kewl gal. look how i hide my name behind a random webpage. heeheeheeheehee

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

sayesha,
you need to fire the bouncer. he ain't doing a good job.
;)

Sayesha said...

#KS,
Whoops, missed your comment, sorry! :P
Oh yeah, now I remember - his name was Crouch! How apt for his height. :P I'm not supporting any team, but good luck to Deutschland :)

#Ipanema Gal,
How do you do it man? Your one-liner says much more than the ramayan-mahabharat I had to write since morning! Way to go :)

#Freddysbuddy,
Hahahaha! Whoever you are - thanks for bringing a bright smile to my face early in the morn! :)

#Ipanema Gal,
Hahaha! MACs toh aate-jaate rehte hain yaar... we've seen worse than this, haven't we? ;)

Vikram said...

//You know how some guys think they know everything about girls and write girl gyan posts? At least we know how to take them in the right spirit.//

Ha! Don't tell me about how to take it in the right spirit, woman. I'm biggest sport when it comes to jokes on me (you know it better than anybody else right?.) So don't even try and get there. Everybody (and now me) know that you can never take any sort of criticism. Talk about taking it in the right spirit.

And, yeah about the girl gyan posts, I'm just using a fictitous girl as my central character to write those posts. If such a girl ever existed in this world, she would be the dumbest species. Girls are smarter than what my posts portray them to be. And you know that too.

//I don't get how 22 guys (one of which is a strapping 6 and a half feet tall) can run around like crazy all over the field after a ball for two whole hours and all they can come up with is a miserable 0-0 score?//

You didn't have to mention that this was the first soccer game you watched. It's cleary evident. You can't make judgments about soccer by watching just one off game. Let me give you a recent example - Argentina scored six goals against Ivory Coast. So there you go! Not all games come out as high and dry as you make it sound. And yeah, maybe you didn't know this, when quarter finals begin, they become a 'do or die'
situation, so even if the game is goal less at the end of the regulation time and OT, they get down to penalty kicks, I'm guessing you were probably late for a movie to sit down and watch those penalty shoot-outs, because if you did, you would never have said the game ended 0-0.

Sayesha said...

#Vikram,
There is a difference between criticism and malice. And there's a difference between criticising a post and making personal attacks.

So you can write posts making fun of girls knowing that they are smart, but I can't write a post making fun of a sport knowing that there must be something to it otherwise why would it be so popular?

And oh, I never said the game ENDED at 0-0. I said all I got at the end of 2 hours was 0-0. There's a difference.

Viks, you got all worked up because a sport was criticised.

I got all worked up because a person was criticised for something as trivial as a casual blog post.

Hope you can see the difference here at least.

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

nobody read this?
"The rather naive and silly opinions expressed here belong solely to the author. If you do not agree with them, it's fine. Do not make a fool of yourself by trying to convince her about how great the game is. Otherwise she may just roll up a newspaper and thwack you on the head.

nobody gets a joke?

what???

so dissing the female species, even if in the garb of a "fictitious character" , is ok, but dissing a game, in complete jest, is not? what's the deal here?

and when sayesha chooses to object mr. fred's remarks about her not being as good as some stand up comedian, or making baseless assumptions like "You write about this kinda stuff for your "audience" to make yourself look like the seen-it-all-done-it-all that you so obviously are not" she is wrong?

sayesha, please, next time, before you joke, make sure everyone approves, okay?

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
just_another_blogger said...

hilarious...super well written

g

Vikram said...

//There is a difference between criticism and malice. And there's a difference between criticising a post and making personal attacks.//

I EXACTLY know what the difference is, so I take care to see I don't hurt someone with incisive comments or actions. If you think I have made a personal attack on you with my previous comment, damn! you don't even understand how rude and straight up I can be if it actually gets down to it.


//So you can write posts making fun of girls knowing that they are smart, but I can't write a post making fun of a sport knowing that there must be something to it otherwise why would it be so popular?//

I write posts about girls with a nonsensical backbone and so far, everyone who has read it has never lost their mind over it (Even if they have, they have never told me about it.) But it's not the same with your posts (as you can see with this post alone, there are an average of four commentors who dispute your thoughts, no matter how nonsensical you claim them to be.) Some of your posts are funny, I agree but in some others, you try hard to make it sound funny. And if someone doesn't find it funny, aren't they entitled to cast their opinion? C'mon Sayesha, we are not living in a wonderland for you to hear "constructive" criticism all the time. It doesn't work like that in the real word. And for all practical purposes, I think I'm right when I assume the "blog world" is also a part of the real world. Everyone has their right to cast their opinion in however, whichever way they want. You can hurl comments back at them too but you choose not to do it, instead, you have a standard way of going about it. "IT'S MY BLOG, I CAN WRITE WHAT I WANT." C'mon Sayesha, you just have the password to a website, and the website is viewable by everyone. Not all will share the ride with you, not everyone will pat your back on every post you make. I also agree that nobody likes criticism, I don't like it either and I'm being honest about it. You can just be open about it and put up a disclaimer saying "You know what? I don't like criticism, so please do not leave cynical or sarcastic comments ok?".

//Viks, you got all worked up because a sport was criticised. //

I didn't worked up because you criticized a game! It's after all a game! I like to follow it but I would never go around acting immature defending it! What do I gain by doing that? I am just throwing light on some "basic" rules about soccer you should have known before you made the post.

Iday said...

Arre yaar - kaiko log tension hota hai?!?!? Ladki ne ekh hi match dekha and jho bhi man me laga, bhol dhiya!!! khoi problem hai kya?!??! chod na...

Freddy-behind-the-fifa-mask: I feel that u shud have concentrated on commenting abt her post, rather than sending down heated up comments abt her. Gulp a few glasses of cold water, get ur breathing back and THINK.

I'm not supporting the stuff in her post by any means here. I'm against all that. But i'm also against the way in which u've presented ur comments, especially considering the fact that this is a public forum. Creates serious doubts abt ur intentions :D

Well, I'm new here. Dont even know whether u guys know each other (which it looks like) or whether there is some history to all this.

My $0.02 :)

And no - dont waste ur time replying to me. I'm not replying to that anyway :)

Kais said...

Freddy, dude, your comments are down-right malicious.

Sayesha, I wonder why you bother replying logically to such blatant rudeness. Be playfully dismissive. I liked what 'freddysbuddy' said...

Cheers
Kais

shub said...

hahahahahahahaha!!!
sorry!
hahahahahahahahaha!!
sorry again Sash, but these guys...err...I mean boys are taking it personal cos u mocked at football?! =)) It doesnt get more hilarious than this....!

and boys...peace out. She never claimed to be Robin Williams or an expert on football did, she?! Geez people stop passionately getting worked up over nothing - save your breath and some of her time! :)
Grow up and learn to let people be entitled to their opinion, and not to jump at a chance to shove your 2 cents down their throats! And try and see the lighter side of things!
Bah!

ashwini bharadwaj said...

nothing against your post or opinion but was quite surprised and to read the following-
>>And then David Beckham burst into tears.

may be you wouldn't have found it funny if you knew what it meant to a captain to lose a match in a penalty shootout and get knocked out of WC when he knew that he would step down after the WC and his only dream was to lead his team to victory.

just thought i should share this -
becks did say the following after he announced his decision to step down- "we were more hurt than people realise"

Vidya said...

"I can't wait for the day when India plays the World Cup, represented by our very own gharelu team of the talented Pappu, Munna, Chintu, Happy, Lallu, Bunty, Chiku, Pintu, Bablu, Golu and Chunnu." and or own sets of cheer girls ..Sayesha ,Shub ,Vidya ...
haaaa haaaa haaaa ..
good post ..

Vinod R Iyer said...

adding to the long list of comments .. !!

Hey wat abt the lot many cakes u got in the penalty shoot outs ??!!!

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

hey vikram
you are clearly getting personal here. what's your gripe? that sayesha doesn't know the rules of football? or that sayesha cannot take criticism? Both of them are extremely personal. If she wanted critics for her posts, she'd have asked. I doubt that she's catering to anyone's sensibilities on here, yours, or mine. And nothing about what Freddie "critiqued" in the first place reflected any maturity . Neither was it devoid of malice. Then you fly in and simply say "i agree with freddie".

Exactly what the @#!@ do you guys want? She has already said so in the post. If you don't like it, hold your peace. Then what are you guardians of good writing and football trying to achieve?

Drops Of Jupiter said...

Becks is my baybee, ain't nobody saying nothing about my baybee!!!!!

He had every reason to cry, sigh... broke my heart to see him that way though.

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

AND vikram and freddie guy,
you need to read more blogs and comments to see how dissent is presented. Intelligent debate takes place after several blogs, and i'm sure sayesha would encourage it too, had this been a serious post, first, and second, had the comment been bereft of immature slinging.

it's not such an ideal world either, where one takes such mudslinging and says "oh, thank you kind sir, for showing me the light". no. if they don't know how to present their unsolicited point of view respectfully or even a tad meaningfully, they need to shut up.

Sudeep said...

ha ha.. though i like football ab main bhi yehi sochunga if the score stands at 0-0

n m extremely jealous of tht six-n-half feet Crouch.. thoda ht mujhse share karne mein kya jayega uska

luved the heading n Kaka concepts..

btw, i did not like Rooney being sent off like tht lekin enjoyed watching England lose n Becky crying :))

10th July ki headline abhi se hi sun:
FRANCE lift the WC beating ITALY :))

Anonymous said...

bhai ke saath panga!

just one thing, dont waste your time replying to all this shit.

LMG (ie light machine gun.. ohh i know so much abt guns!!), .303 (read as point three nought three), or AK-47??!

my favourite is AK-47!! the name sound so sexy! :D

what do you say??

chaliye bye ;)

Anonymous said...

'CIA guys wont come after me' is not the reason i posted this as anonymous.

this damn thing called opera has got some problem i think.

satish

new malice on da bloc said...

Quite a hoohaa you make about people getting personal with their comments here... dont you? So inspite of that, the one thing you brought up against Vikram was his post on his blog. Now aint that getting personal, missy?

If he, being a good friend, and part of your 'chatur chaar' can see through your fakeness, if all you have on your orkut profile is a wannabe photo and a blog URL, and if all the testimonials written there are by people who have never met you, EVER, you need to take a step back and give your identity crisis some thought.

To the Ipanema Girl and all other Sayesha bodyguards,
Dont bother replying to me... if I wanted to hear what you had to say, I would personally visit your sorry blogs myself.

Freddy Mercury said...

Girl from Ipanema,

I notice from your blog that you follow football, so quit taking a fake stance on the subject just to suck up to Sayesha.

Secondly, what is a good way to tell Sayesha that her "jokes" aren't funny? hmmmm lemme see... oh I know "Your jokes aren't funny!!" Where's the malice eh?
Criticism is not the same as malice, unless you're a whiny, spineless excuse for a human being.

So, while your intentions to defend Sayesha are noble, it would help to grow a spine and a brain and come up with an intelligent rebuttal.

And yeah, about the unsolicited points of view- if Sayesha wants to, she can block anonymous comments or comments altogether but it's fairly evident from the completely IDIOTIC comments on this space (such as ME FIRST GOLD!! and ME LOST THE SILVER TODAY!!) that the comments are enabled so that y'all can pat each other's backs and suck up to each other. So if the comments are enabled, once in a while someone intelligent is bound to comment.

P.S. All of you suck-ups, quit whining or I'll have to mail-order a box of tissues and a bottle of no-tears shampoo to each one of you.

Rays Of Sun said...

WOW..a lot has happened here...and a lot of heat presented too...
Although, I dont know much about football myself, thats why posting a comment about it doesnt make sense to me..
Well, many ppl got into the nitty gritty of the games..but one comment that struck to me was Ipanema Girl. Was kinda surprise at the remark she made at Vikram.

//you need to read more blogs and comments to see how dissent is presented//
BTW, this does not apply to Vikram. He has been around Sayeshaz much before than you have..not only through blogs but countless emails that you would not have even dreamt of.

Clearly, Sayesha had said earlier in one of the posts 'If MY'Chatur chaar' says something I will take it'Never has Vikram made any personal remarks on her..especially on her comment space. We guys have shared a lot and if he has said something ONCE..he doesnt deserve that flak..Thats all

I know this post was in a good humor and HER attitude towards the whole game. And I have nothing to say to any of those.

The only thing was, this was between Sayesha and Vikram and only they know the depth of their friendship. Someone else stepping in and saying that Viks was getting personal is not valid.

And Vikram is not a MAC in order to be said all that has been said.

Peace!

Freddy Mercury said...

Iday,
Stop being a douchebag and read my first comment. Drink a few glasses of "instant brain"

Kais, dude, she didn't really reply logically. And stop being the resident suck-up.

Shub, hahahahaha mock at football? Now I will mock at you. Ahahhahaha moron!

Anonymous said...

____

P.S. All of you suck-ups, quit whining or I'll have to mail-order a box of tissues and a bottle of no-tears shampoo to each one of you.
____

thankyou. i will take two!



satish

Kiranz..!! said...

Hey Saysha,

Hilarious narration it was..thoroughly enjoyed it..!Hey one more thing,thankz for your comment at my blog :)

Shreemoyee said...

Any sport is an emotional experience, especially when played for a country in front of a charged live partisan crowd. Victory dances will happen, tears of disappointment and let down will flow, a career might have ended in the quest for glory. It is natural one would think isn't it?

Iday said...

What a wonderful game Italy had!!!
Now i'm beginning to think!!!
World girl - u might get ur chance to party on the 7th :)

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

ros,
whatever i commented was a reaction to whatever i've seen on here, on this comment space, on this issue. you follow the comments, and you'll see. didn't mean to attack any of your relationships, and i'm sure they will stay unaffected by my comments. cheers.

freddy,
i don't need your testimonial on my intentions, noble or otherwise.
and i'm not going to waste my time teaching you how to express dissent effectively on the www. when you come out of your cave, you'll learn.

and we can quit flogging the dead horse now.