For your eyes only

So William dumped me last week.

(This post was partly for him, and partly for some others who had decided to delete me from their lives and whom I had decided to delete from mine.)

He said he's getting very busy at work, and can't spare dedicated time for me.

"Sometimes when you call, I can't take your call... and then even if I tell you I'll be in, when you drop by, I'm not around. I don't want you to depend on me so much. You should have other options."

Depend on him so much?? Other options?? What the..??!!

"I want to introduce you to someone," He continued.

Introduce me to someone??!! What did he think it was - passing the parcel? The audacity!

"Sayesha, this is Thomas, my colleague."

Random guy Thomas acknowledged with a nod.

I was speechless. As usual, in my head I was saying a lot of things. "Dude, you and I are not done yet, who the hell is this Thomas chap? I need an explanation before you decide to conveniently dump me on this Thomas guy! What makes you think I'd be interested in your Thomas dude??"

Perhaps I should have said something. But my words had left me. I did not know why I did not say anything. Perhaps it was the shock of this happening after four years of being with him. I tried to catch his eye and show him how utterly angry I was. But he did not look at me directly. Within a moment, he'd disappeared, leaving me stranded with the Thomas chap.

"Come, sit." said Thomas.

Still seething with disillusionment and anger, I turned my attention to Thomas. I should have stormed off, but I stayed. Perhaps I did not want to boost his ego by show how upset I was. Perhaps I wanted to show that if William was cool, so was I. If he didn't care, neither did I. Whatever it was, I actually sat down to talk to Thomas.

Thomas was older than William, but had a kind face. He was gentle and understanding, and spoke to me with respect. He was smart and witty, and knew the right things to say to a girl who was in the situation that I was in.

"You're 26?? Really?? But you look 22, you know. I'd think you were a student." He said.

"Actually, I am a student too. Part-time." I said, my anger beginning to slowly cool off.

We got to talking about my studies and my job and stuff. It was so refreshing to see a guy who actually listened to what I was saying and processed it before giving his opinion. He was the first guy who gave me an objective analysis on why I should quit my job, something I had been considering for a while. No one else had dared to suggest that to me.

I realised I had started to like Thomas. In one meeting.

I was getting late, and soon we exchanged goodbyes. William was nowhere to be seen. I was still seething inside about the whole thing, but I was happy to have met Thomas. As I took his leave, William suddenly reappeared. Thomas had just said something - I think it was something about my eyes - and we were both laughing. William stared at us as we laughed. I ignored him and walked out.

I've been recovering well.

Recently, I dropped by to see Thomas. He wasn't there but William was. Which was surprising considering it was his off-day. I ignored him and approached another guy to ask where Thomas was. But before I had opened my mouth, William had deposited himself on the seat in front of me.

"Hi..." He said with a smile.

"Hi..." I said with a smile. Damn.

He initiated the conversation and kept me engaged for twenty minutes or so, not letting anyone else near me. I noticed that he was extra attentive. In fact, he was pretending that last week's conversation had never happened between us, and that things were exactly how they'd been over the last four years.

Sigh.

Why is it that only when a guy sees you happy with another guy, he wants you back?

I could almost feel the dilemma faced by Simran in 'Gangster'.

On one hand, is a guy who is unpredictable, has no time for me, disappears now and then, and makes decisions about me without involving my opinions. But he is familiar, he knows me, and I have a history with him.

On the other hand is this nice, dependable guy who is understanding, respectful, carries no baggage, and offers me a clean slate. But he is unfamiliar, and doesn't know my history.

So which optician should I pick?