Thursday, April 27, 2006

Take it - 'cos there's no leave it!

Dear pregnant woman in the train,

The next time I offer you my seat in the train, you'd better take it!

Now don't give me that killer 'Are you yelling at me?' look. Yes, I am yelling at you. Don't think even for a moment that just because it is a well-known fact that a woman's hormones go a bit crazy during pregnancy, I am scared of you. (Actually I am, but you don't know it, do ya?)

Do you know that before I offer you my seat, it takes me a full ten seconds to assess whether you're pregnant or you just happen to have a paunch? I actually take the risk of getting verbally abused in front of fifty people in case you turn out to be not pregnant but merely in need of cutting your carbs and visiting the gym?

I take that risk and offer you my seat, and what do you do?

Smile and say, "No thanks, I'm fine."?

Did you forget your lines? You're supposed to smile, say 'Thank you' and take the freakin' seat. What's with the
onstage improvisation with a "No thanks, I'm fine."?

You're fine?? Lady, look at the size of that thing! Let me tell you missy, I have a history of blacking out and collapsing in trains. And if I choose to give you my seat, surely you need it more than me. Maybe from up there you can't get a clear perspective, but I can! Trust me, you're not fine, you need a seat. I know you're trying to do the whole independent woman thing, but this is not the place. We're not all equal. You're pregnant, I'm not. You should have the seat, I shouldn't. And that's the truth. You gotta face it.

How would you like it if I told your Mom or your Mom-in-law that you refused a seat in the train? You'd get it from them. Bigtime. Isn't it?

I'm not offering you my seat because the government instructs me to be courteous to fellow passengers. I'm not doing this because I want to rise in my own esteem. I am not doing this because there are four million closed circuit cameras all over Singapore that are taking note of the citizens' good deeds. I'm not doing this so that due to my good karma, some kind soul in New Jersey will offer my sister a seat in the train. (I can only hope that he does.)

I'm doing this because I believe that there is something fundamentally wrong in a society where I sit and you stand in the train.

And most importantly, sweetheart, you're getting attention. Take it! As soon as the baby is born, it will completely steal your thunder. Everyone will be talking to it in the universal alele-googoo-plu-plu-kuchi-kuchi language, and no one's gonna pay any attention to you. Not even if you break into the dhakki tiki dance. You'll be craving for it, but you won't get it.

So while you're getting attention, grab it I say.

See ya in the train. And oh, remember your lines this time.



39 comments:

The Girl Who Sold The World said...

Again first this time by chance. MUAHAHAHAHA. GOLD!!!!!. :D

The Girl Who Sold The World said...

I actually take the risk of getting verbally abused in front of fifty people in case you turn out to be not pregnant but merely in need of cutting carbs and visiting the gym?

HAHAHAHAHA! Has it ever happened, O kind, compassionate Sayesha? :D

Lady, look at the size of that thing!
ROTFL! Making her conscious of the size, eh? :P

As soon as the baby is born, it will completely steal your thunder.
Uggghhh....kids suck, don't they? X-(

To dear pregnant woman in the train: Take her seat...otherwise, you're DEAD. :D

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

:o :0 baap re baap.
i wonder if the damage from standing is going to be more than the damage to the poor lady's mental state after being threatened and reminded of her size! ;)

and TGWSTW. i am really convinced. tereko ko na koi exams hai na padhai. it was just a ploy so i'd let my guard down. dekh loongi tujhe.

Rebellion said...

LOL..

no no.. that was ROFL stuff =))

Poor lady.. had she read your post.. she'd be cursing herself for her "No thanks, am fine" attitude :p

"Actually I am scared, but you don't know it, do ya?" LOL.

"Not even you break into the dhakki tiki dance" hehehehe

Nice one...

If you'd be in India.. sure no one would have said "No thanks, am fine".. instead a dozen would have jumped on your seat without a thanks :P:P:P

I love my India :D

Take care,
Aarti

Dev said...

Simply put, :D!!!

Arti, If you were in India, you wouldnt have been able to offer ur seat to anyone. Just get up and u lose ur seat b4 u say a word. :)

Dear pregnant woman in the train,
The next time I offer you my seat in the train, you'd better take it!

And if you dont be sure to visit my blog that evening. Face my wrath.. muhahahahaha (evil laughter)
Mogambo ka bhatiji hai kya? ;)

oxymoron said...

good girl sayesha!
a cookie for u!

The Smiling Girl said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
pandora said...

I remeber once my mom offered her seat to a pregnant woman. But her expression expressed-thankfulness..and she never uttered "no thanks..i'm fine".

good post. :)

Abhishek Upadhyay said...

Haha,
it has happened to me many times.In Mumbai local train I offered seat to an old man. And he gave me a look,"Do I look old?I am younger than you."
I still remember his reply,"Why should I sit, its your seat. So be seated".To add to the humiliation my friends,sitting besides me, gave a wide ravan laugh after this.

Rays Of Sun said...

//Lady, look at the size of that thing!//
Hahahahahhaah..tht thing is a BABY:O
Abe Amrica mein gadi jampacked nahi hota hai...(so what i think) me lives in gaon..no gadi(local train)idhar:))

Pramod said...

:-) I just went through a similar situation yesterday in the tram here - A nice looking lady walked in with she holding her son.

Not a very common sight here as almost everyone has a buggy! So me the honourable gentleman - got up and offered the seat. And she goes No, thank you, I am quite sporty still Great! What the heck!

And guess what few weeks back I was in Singapore - was trying out the MRT one evening. Got in and it was relatively crowded and all seats where taken. After a stop or two one of the seats got empty - I went to sit when I saw an old lady get in. I looked up at her - smiled and offered her the seat - she was happy and was walking up to me. But in the meanwhile a smart guy walked from behind and sat down looking absolutely non-challant about it. I was thinking of shouting at him - but then both of us just shrugged it off. I wouldn't want to guess the nationality of the guy ;-)

Well, it takes all kinds to make this world such an intersting place - including Sayeshas - whose wrath against you might end up with you being the topic of her next post. And if you were owner of a restaurant - will cost you a truck load of Thumbsup!

RP said...

ha ha ha... were ye so embarassed dat a post was born out of the unborn baby in d womb?? :-D
neways, i liked yer writting again. :-)

dharmu said...

a real good post sayesha !
if the lady ever visits ur blog, assured she will get her labour pains sooner.

In blore, before you offer the seat, ull have atleast 3 people trying to push you out of the way!

but in US, you can sleep all your way, i mean SLEEP !!!

ggop said...

First time comment ever..I'm trying to catch up with your delightful blog.
Today's post is up there with the "Top 10 reasons I like to go to the gym" entry :-)

Keep them coming Sayesha!
gayatri

Rohit Talwar said...

Right! Attention!

I remember, the other day, everyone in the Metro the other day went crazy about this unbelievably cute kid in a woman's lap. And to note that the kid was crying his lungs out before everyone started getting over-friendly with him! :D

Girl next door said...

That pregnant woman had better watch out! I don't know if it's a pride thing when people refuse to take up an offer when you're being polite. I've noticed a similar attitude with some elderly people. There are times I used to see some frail old person at the supermarket trying to carry something and offered to help--only to be met with a cold 'No.' After a while, I just stopped offering. If they wanna be independent, that's their choice!

Janefield said...

Bhalai ka zamaana hi nahi raha aaj kal!

Siddhu said...

*smiles*

Can't say anything more - kinda warms the cockles of your heart! Go Sayesha!!

Siddhu said...

By your heart I mean my heart of course - or more generically speaking, the hearts of yr readers.

Joy said...

LOL!!

With a sincere gesture like that, I consider you one in a million. There's just none like you in this corner of the globe where I live in. Or perhaps there are, but they don't take the train, they use their cars. :-)

Cheer up, girl. Life is like that. *sigh* :-))

chandu said...

roflol!!! nicely put.

G said...

Touching stuff this...keep it coming, girl...

Sayesha said...

#World Girl,
//Has it ever happened, O kind, compassionate Sayesha? :D

Hehehe... almost almost :P

//Making her conscious of the size, eh? :P

Not her size re! The size of her tummy!

#Ipanema,
Arre! Uski bhalaai ke liye hi toh bola... :/

#Aarti,
I took a public bus in India once... in Calcutta... swore never to do it again... what a distressing experience :(

#Dev,
Hahaha! If she's reading my blog na, she'll be looking out for me on the trains... hehe... so much stress :P

#Oxy,
Thanks! I love cookies! :D

#Preethi,
They took your seat? Lucky you!

#Neha,
Arre most will accept the seat... it's just some who take the independent woman thing too far... :)

#Abhishek,
Eeeeshh! That sounds embarrassing! :/

#ROS,
//Hahahahahhaah..tht thing is a BABY

Arre! Baby hua kahan hai... baby+tummy = that thing :)

#Pramod,
//I am quite sporty still

Sheesh! What's being sporty got to do with it? :/

//I wouldn't want to guess the nationality of the guy

Oh man! :( :( :(

//And if you were owner of a restaurant - will cost you a truck load of Thumbsup!

Hahahahaha! :D

#RP,
I wasn't embarrassed. Merely pissed. I just did not like the idea of me sitting aaraam se, while she stood there with the big tummy. :(

#Dharmu,
//if the lady ever visits ur blog, assured she will get her labour pains sooner.

Aiyoh! I hope not! :O

//but in US, you can sleep all your way, i mean SLEEP !!!

Cool! Coming soon! ;)

#Gayatri,
Welcome to Sayeshaz, though I know you have commented once before somewhere (saw it in my gmail), but I can't find that post dammit! :P
Thanks for your kind words :)

#Rohit,
Oooh I love to meet cute babies in the train! :)

#Girl next door,
//If they wanna be independent, that's their choice!

Hmmm... good point that... but I just feel very very uncomfy sitting there when old/frail/pregnant people are standing :(

#The Chosen One,
Hahaha! Now you sound so elderly! Want my seat? ;)

#Sid,
//Go Sayesha!!

Thanks! :)

//By your heart I mean my heart of course - or more generically speaking, the hearts of yr readers.

Hahahahahaha! I love people's afterthoughts on my comment space :D

#Joy,
Thanks! :)

//Or perhaps there are, but they don't take the train, they use their cars.

Hehehehe! :P

#Chandu,
Thanks :)

#G,
Welcome to Sayeshaz! Thanks for commenting :)

D The Dreamer said...

Can't refrain myself from using the cliche, but I have no choice.

Awesome :)

Cheers
D The D

Vikram said...

Usually I keep a safe ten feet distance from pregnant women. They are always so cranky. Sheesh.

Negative Creep said...

^^Pregnant women should keep a safe ten fet distance b/w them and Sayesha. for their own safety. :p

I can understand her side of the story, i don't like excessive do-gooders either, especially when they take offense if you don't take them up on their offers.

Just kidding Sayesha.







Or am i? :p

trups said...

nice one sayesha-di!!! best part of this best post was - Everyone will be talking to it in the universal alele-googoo-plu-plu-kuchi-kuchi language

alelelelelele :))

Sayesha said...

#DTD,
Thanks :)

#Vikram
Hehehe... true... am kinda scared of them too :P

#Creep,
//i don't like excessive do-gooders either

This was no do-gooding, my dear. Actually why am I even bothering to argue with you? Waise bhi, tujhe toh duniya ki koi baat achhi nahin lagti :)

And oh, considering that you are not (and never will be) a pregnant woman, no, I don't think you can fully understand her side of the story.

#Trups,
Sheesh! Did you just alele me?? :/ Hehehehe :P

Kais said...

Hahaha...reminds me of the time when I was on a MRT with this pretty girl and she was saying something to me and I was quite uskee-aankhon-mei-lost. Suddenly she started making these weird sideways glance gestures with her eyes while talking. Im thinking - "thats weird what shes doing, but hey I like quirky girls..!!". Until I realised that she was 'hinting' at me to offer up my seat for the old man who was standing right in front of us, that I did not notice! Anyway...she probably crossed out 'kind-and-thoughtful' from my list of talents, after that :D

Cheers
Kais

PS: What is your e-mail address?? I want to send you something cool!

Sayesha said...

#Kais,
Haha! If I was the girl na, I'd get up and give my seat to the old man... thereby embarrassing the hell outta 'not so kind and thoughtful' guy! Muahahaha! :D

ps: You can send the cool stuff to me at sayeshaz@gmail.com

The Girl Who Sold The World said...

@TGFI: Hai, hai, bohot kaam hai aur dher saari books, chaatne ke liye. :P It's just that sometimes Sayesha posts just when I'm taking a break. ;) Keep it up, Sayesha...go co-incidences! :D

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

chal chal, "coincidences". like you were hoping for one right now, weren't you?
muahahahahahaahahah

Anonymous said...

and then there is this other kind...you offer your seat(actaully getting up and walking up to them), they say no but with a teensy-weensy smile(which means yeah theyd like to) then you reassure them itz fine following which they ask you silly questions like are you getting off soon yadayadaya(obviously not!) and then say 'no' again. Finally end up giving that threatening look and they scuttle by to your seat...nice 5 min drama for the rest of the folks!
Liz
ps: you havnt welcomed me to your blog :P meee want the magic dialogue! yeah putting in a comment just for that! :D

Siddhu said...

What about before-thoughts/during-thoughts?

Okay, that's what we call a mokkai/kadi joke down south. In English, that's a terrible joke! ;)

Janefield said...

@ siddhu, in English, it's called PJ!! :D

HOTWINTER said...

That was very sweet of you to offer your seat to an unknown pregnant lady. Maybe someday when u will be pregnant the child of the same lady whom you offered seat yesterday, will offer you his/her seat. Then you cant say "No, Thank you". Just grab the seat.

This is how the world functions.

Sayesha said...

#World Girl,
Baap re... itne saare coincidences ka ek saath hona koi coincidence nahin hai! :D

#Ipanema Girl,
Nahin yaar! Tu maan le uski baat! Is ladki ke paas jadui shaktiyan hain! :O

#Liz,
Welcome to Sayeshaz, my dear! :)
ps: Yeah, I have been thru that drama too! :O

#Siddhu,
Aha! Learnt a new term. Mokkai/kadi! :D

#The Chosen One,
Hahahahahahahahahaha! :D Damn right you are! :D

#Hotwinter,
Gosh! :O

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