That don't impress me much!

Last month, I was at my company's booth in the NUS recruitment fair. This guy came to speak to me, and asked many many questions about my job. Then he asked for my business card, and said that he would email me if had any more questions (which did not seem possible to me at that point in time).

Some time ago, I got an email from him. Simple email, introducing himself once again as the guy who had asked me the million questions. And the reason for his email? To ask me another question. "What do I do in order to be hired by your company?"

Apparently, he had applied for an editorial position, but was probably rejected in the first round when HR shortlisted the resumes. He wanted to know what it would take for his resume to make it to the next round, and for him to get an interview call, and finally for him to land the job.

Well, I'm gonna send him a formal and a diplomatic reply soon. But there are some informal and undiplomatic answers to his questions, which I thought I should put down here, on my blog.

Firstly, I believe getting your first job has little to do with how good you are academically, or otherwise. This is something I can't put down this bluntly in my reply to him.

In my final year at university, I created my resume with much love and care. I thought I had the perfect resume - a beautiful balance of scholarships and extra-curricular activities, that fabulously showcased my oh-so-impressive 'talents' and 'creativity'. Who would not give me a job?

Bah.

This false illusion of mine was further strenghthened by a career counsellor provided by my university, who was engaged to review our resumes and give us comments on how to improve them. When I submitted mine, it came back with a 'Good' marked in the margin.

Sheesh. 'Good'? What did he think it was? A term paper?

But back then, I was happy with the 'good'. It further underscored my false belief that employers were queuing up in the streets to hire me.

Anyway, so I set out in the world with my 'good' resume. True to its impression, it landed me my first job offer way before I had graduated. Or at least that's what I thought.

But in reality, that resume never got me anywhere.

1. I was hired by my first company because crazy companies will hire just about anyone.

2. I was hired by my present company because of sheer thick skin.

And so it's my belief that one's first job is a lot about luck than we would like to believe. It's a frustrating journey for fresh grads. People in the industry are looking for experience. But if you don't give me a job, how the heck am I supposed to get experience? And so, all the fresh grads that actually get hired just have sheer good luck, yes, even those who are recruited on campus. It's only when you stay at a job and prove yourself, hone your skills and acquire relevant knowledge that you actually become valuable enough for someone to want to hire you.

If you put it down correctly in your resume, and do a good job at the interview, that is.

I always thought I had a turbulent job life. I thought I had seen a lot - resignation from first job in three months, being jobless and penniless for yet another three months, sending out 50 applications a day to random companies I had not even heard of, shamelessly reapplying within two weeks to the company that rejected me.. yeah, I've done quite a bit. And yet, if I think that this is as extreme as one's job situation can get, I would be really naive.

Our jobs and careers are unpredictable. Anything can happen to anyone. Anytime. Often, we have no control over what happens. Perhaps that's why - wherever we can have control, we should.

I understand the true importance of resumes and interviews only now, when I'm sitting at the other end, and ruthlessly rejecting applicants.

Moving from being an applicant to being an interviewer has opened my eyes in ways more than one. And here, I'll list down my experiences of what being an interviewer has been like, along with tips that will make, at least me, want to hire you.

1. Your resume tells me straightaway how serious you are about getting the job. I can tell at once if you prepared this resume to apply for my company, or if it is one of the twenty copies you made to send out to different companies one morning. It is evident from your career goal 'To use my skills in an environment offering maximum growth'. That line can be used for any freakin' job on the planet! Believe me. 'Cos I have used that line. And got nowhere with it.

2. Every time HR sends me a stack of resumes, I have to take time out to look at them. Remember that you're taking up someone's time. Make that time worth it for the person. Keep your resume short. Remember, it's a resume, not a blog post by Sayesha. Two pages is just nice. Not more, not less. And when I say keep to two pages, I mean delete stuff. I don't mean point size six.

3. Be relevant. I really don't want to read about stuff that has nothing to do with anything that will make me hire you. I know you're applying for many different types of jobs using the same resume and probably think that it would be good to show what an all-rounder you are. But do remember that an extra-curricular activity that's considered relevant for one type of job may not sound that great to another type. For example, if you have worked with children (including giving tuition), I will regard that as a valuable asset, but it may be worthless information for, say an investment bank, even if it was Maths that you taught.

4. Be concise. I know you're glad to have won the inter-HDB-block badminton championship six times in ten years, but do you really have to use six bullet points and half a page to tell me that? Commas are for a reason, use them.

5. Nerds, I'm sure you have a non-nerdy side. Bring it out. Show me the other side. Non-nerds, I'm sure you have a nerdy side. Bring it out. Show me the other side.

6. Don't for a moment think that just because you are seven feet tall, with rippling biceps, and weigh 110 kgs, I'll be scared of you in the interview room. (Actually I will be, but I won't show it.) So don't use your bulky bod to try and intimidate your sole female interviewer. I can kick you out in a second. (Yes, this happened to me last week.)

7. Just by your handshake, I can tell a lot about you. Do not under any circumstances think that if you make gelatin out of my hand, I will take it as a sign of confidence. No one, (no, not even you, Virdi), is entitled to shake my hand using that kinda grip.

8. If there's anything worse than a fist-crushing handshake, it's the limp handshake. That itself is enough to create an impression so bad, that no impressive resume or answers to my questions can remedy your situation. Your handshake says a lot more about you than you think.

9. Overconfidence is a big turn-off for interviewers. Don't tell me you want to change the Singapore education system by yourself. You can tell me what you have in mind, but don't go over the top. In case you've forgotten, I know exactly what book publishers can and cannot change about the education system.

10. When you come down to sit for the editing test, we ask you to write a paragraph to describe why you want to join our company. This is not just to know the obvious, but also to study your writing skills. Please don't give me an answer like 'personal interest'. Duh! (Yes, it happened recently.) For a start, look at the number of lines given to you for your answers.

11. A sense of humour is good. But don't crack bad jokes during the interview. Bad jokes can (and will) come in only after you've joined us. If you're attempting to be funny during the interview, you're not. I once interviewed a girl who was a volunteer for the Red Cross. She was describing to me why there was a Red Cross booth at rock concerts. Apparently, some fans get so hysterical, they have to be taken to these booths to calm them down, before they are allowed to go back. Her description was hilarious. And she was funny without trying. What a pity she was not interested in joining the Science team, but was more into History. I recommended her for immediate hiring in the History team.

12. Try not to freak your interviewer out. In the column marked 'Relationship of applicant with referee', we expect you to write something expected, such as 'friend' or 'supervisor'. Please don't write 'platonic'!! (Yes, this is a real-life example I came across two weeks ago.)

13. Don't use a job interview as an opportunity to get your book published. If you want to get published, go through the proper channels. Don't waste my time. I'm not looking for an author, I'm just looking for an editor for my team. I once interviewed a guy who sounded more interested in getting his book published than securing a job as an editor. He even showed me his manuscript in the middle of the interview. The bloke had written an academic book on terrorism! I politely reminded him that we publish books only for children, and promptly got rid of him.

14. I don't really care how interviewees dress, as long as it is evident that they take the interview seriously. Many female interviewees dress up really glamourously when they turn up for an interview, but the moment they realise that my magazine is not one of those glossy female magazines, but a Science magazine for kids, their disappointment shows through. I guess simple formals are the safest choice. Nothing too crazy maybe. You can dress crazy after you join us.

15. Don't even think that you can charm your way into getting the job. Don't try to flirt with your interviewer under any circumstances, no matter how hot she is. And oh, don't flatter me by telling me how great I am. I know how great I am. Why don't you tell me how great you are?

16. When I ask you to ask questions, please do so. Most interviewees, especially fresh grads feel that a company is doing them a favour by offering them a job, and so the company must find out all it can about the candidate by asking as many questions as possible. But it works the other way round too. Maybe you are so good at the job that it's you who's doing the company a favour by taking up the job offer. Wouldn't you want to know everything you can about the company you're about to join? More importantly, shouldn't you?

17. When you ask me questions, I will not paint a pretty picture. I will tell you things exactly as they are. Children's book publishing is not as easy as it sounds. There is no author who will come to you with his/her manuscript which you simply edit and publish. It's you who has to develop the idea of a book, source for authors, juggle the Ministry of Education, the designers, the illustrators, your seniors, your authors and what not, to come up with a book. You have to go to schools and talk to teachers to find out what they want. You have to go to bookshops to observe buyer behaviour. You have to 'sell' your package to your customers using just a 15-minute presentation. Frankly speaking, some people find the job so stressful, they quit within a few months. Are you really up for it? If you are, welcome to my world. It's not an easy world to live in, but I believe it rocks. Kind of.

18. When I interview someone, I use my sixth sense a lot. I try to figure out how serious the person is about a job like this, where what you produce at your desk is used to develop young minds across the country and beyond. Two great dialogues will illustrate my point. Preity Zinta's father said in the movie Lakshya, "Whatever you do, do it well. If you're a scientist, be a good scientist. If you're a grass-cutter, be a good grass-cutter. Otherwise there is no point doing what you do." Naseer said in the movie Iqbal, "Each one of us is sent to this world to do one thing exceptionally well. Many people spend their entire lives looking for that one thing, and never find it. Some people are fortunate to find it sooner. If you have found it, cherish it."

I found the dialogues stunningly true. We spend most of our lives on our jobs. Shouldn't it be something we are really good at? Shouldn't it be something we really love to do? Shouldn't it be worth waking up at 6 am for?

So after all this analysis, I dug out my own resume to study it.

I did not quite like it. It has a lot of info, but it is not a true representation of what I believe I am capable of.

And so, I have decided that once every few months, I'm gonna review my own resume and ask myself a question.

"Would I hire myself?"