Friday, April 07, 2006

All that jazz

I don't know if it's a good habit or a bad one, but the moment I step into my room, I must have music playing.

Last night, I came back from class, and instead of playing my usual hindi MP3s, I switched on the radio. The default station on my radio is Lush 99.5 - a station that plays jazz - a kind of jazz that reminds me of a very dear friend of mine - let's call him Jazzman - who now lives in a whole other country.

There are two kinds of friends who live in whole other countries. The first are those who have always lived in those countries, away from you (like my Chatur Chaar). And the second are those who went away from you to live in those countries.

In the first kind of long-distance friendships, there is little change in the degree of closeness you feel, perhaps because you have never been closer or more distant from what you are now. But in the second kind, after the friend goes away, you feel a change in the closeness - an increase or a decrease. You may wake up suddenly missing the person so bad that you can barely keep yourself from catching the next flight to that country, and then getting arrested at the airport 'cos apparently you were so excited about going there, you forgot to get a visa. Alternatively, you may find the closeness dying off, compared to the days when you met every other day, and hung out together.

I never really believed in long-distance friendships. Whenever I think of my friends from school days, I realise that I don't remember most of them too much. I only remember my crushes, and a few of what I referred to in school as my 'bestest friends'. Of course, it could be because I did not have 'that one school' imprinted in my memory. The seven schools I studied in have kinda mixed things up in my head. I do not have any friends I "grew up with" or "hung out with for years", because as soon as I found some friends, Dad had to move to a brand new city in a brand new state. So I just accepted it as a part of life that when people go away from you, or when you go away from them, you don't feel that close to them anymore.

But my friendships with some people, particularly Jazzman, seems to defy my own theory.

It's been such a long time since he left Singapore. And yet, the closeness I feel with him has not changed in any way. My friendship with him gives me faith that perhaps, once in a while, physical distances really do not matter. The amazing thing is even when he was in Singapore, we met up only once in a while, and rarely called each other. We don't even know each other's deepest darkest secrets. He doesn't tell me everything and I don't tell him everything. We don't have to. Even now, we don't email or call each other often, and yet, I have never felt us distancing away from each other, the way I feel with others I have left behind, or who have left me behind.

I guess some people just stay on even after they've gone away from our lives to create their own.

And when they go, they take a little piece of our heart with them.

And sometimes, they take a little more than that.

Dude, where're my DVDs?



26 comments:

The Girl Who Sold The World said...

AHA! I was just about to go to bed...phir socha ki chalo jaane se pehle Sayesha ke blog ke darshan karen.....muahahaha. Gold, gold, GOLD!!!!!!!! Triumph at 5:00 am in the morning! YIPEEEEE! :D

The Girl Who Sold The World said...

Oooh...senti post.
And when they go, they take a a little piece of your heart with them.
So true! I've lived in many different places too but I'm still in touch with almost all my friends...even those from 2nd standard, whom I haven't met since sooo many years. :D
I think the kind of friendship that's between you and Jazzman (you know, not forgetting even after such a long time) is what is actually friendship. Maybe? I guess the others are just normal companions to hang out with. People like Jazzman are friends. :)
*Hits herself on the head* Subah-subah itni bakwaas? Very bad. Now, I won't be able to digest the breakfast. :P

Ta-ta! :D

Oh, and is that my silver over there? Yesss. YIPEEEEEE!!! :D

Mary said...

Hehe! funny last line :D
I get exactly what you mean.. and it's very hard to explain just ,why some friends stay close and others drift!

Ro said...

sexy, sensual, smooth...
...lush 99.5 fm

Vikram said...

Sash, where are my DVDs? huh?

X-(

Drops Of Jupiter said...

"I don't know if it's a good habit or a bad one, but the moment I step into my room, I must have music playing."

I don't know anyone who died of music overdose :p

Sayesha said...

#World girl,
Going to bed at 5 am??? :O
ps: Hey, how's the Creep who used to hang out with you?

//but I'm still in touch with almost all my friends...even those from 2nd standard

Whoa! Impressive :)

//I guess the others are just normal companions to hang out with.People like Jazzman are friends. :)

Either that, or others are friends, but people like Jazzman fall under an unnamed category altogether :)

//*Hits herself on the head*

Sayesha washes hands in behti ganga! Muahaha! :D

#Mary,
Yeah, strange, isn't it? :)

#Ro,
:)

#Vikram,
Oye! Kyun meri reputation kharaab kar raha hai? Aaj tak teri shakal nahin dekhi (3D mein), you think I'd borrow your DVDs? :D

#Jupiter,
It's not about music overdose. It's about being too dependent on something, and hence getting withdrawal symptoms if you don't have that even for one day. Now that, my friend, could be a bad habit.
ps: Yeah, I run a very tight ship of discipline in my life! :O

Raj said...

That was quite a senti post!

Jazzman - weird name!

Its ture. Some people do stay with you even after they've gone away :)

Kusum Rohra said...

Same here sayesh, the moment i step into home or wake up in the morn the music has to be playing, And i grew up listening to the radio more than playing my own music, infact i had a crush on one of the RJs :)

Did you read abt my frd laxmi's wedding well our friendship is like that, we met after 4.5 years but the closeness in our friendship never declined despite the distance :)

And you are so right, some people take a little peice of our heart with them *happy wala sigh*

And Sayesh for the first time I am in the top ten commentors *GRINNING* Joy to the world :)

Somya said...

hmmmm...agree even I have a friend of mine whom I have not been able to meet for last 1 and a half year and still thinking of her gives me so much of strength...we were group of three girls...charlie's Angels...but after college just two of us are intouch...she left for Indonesia to live with her parents...my decisions are still made on the basis whether shama would have approved of it or not.
He he he like kusum even I made it to the top 10 commentators.

HOTWINTER said...

The moment I get inside my room I need peace because of the hustles and bustles of my city's road-life makes me get tired.

So as soon as I enter my room, I switch off the bright lights, switch on the dim light, turn the AC ON, close my eyes, lie down in bed and go for a sound sleep till I get refreshed.

My room is a peaceful place, like a temple and not an auditorium where rock and jazz music of those western monkeys are played.

shub said...

lol @ the last part! :))

strangely I've come closer to some people i knew earlier after I've moved away...through YM, emails and my blog....

satish said...

_________________
//*Hits herself on the head*

Sayesha washes hands in behti ganga! Muahaha! :D
_________________

gud one :))

nice post!

chandu said...

some friendships and some memories, they just keep sticking on.. no matter what u do!!

btw the last line was funny.. :))

Anonymous said...

:) Interesting..I have had lotsa friends, close n far n close n far.. some closer...then gone for good.. somehow jazzman sounds like a very interesting person, if he had left such a lasting impression over so short a time..

ajay said...

:) of btw earlier was me

The Girl Who Sold The World said...

Hey, how's the Creep who used to hang out with you?
He's busy preparing for his IIT-JEE and yeah, he's also busy ranting and protesting against Mandal Commission whose recommendations are being re-implemented from this year. DAMN!!! So much for "equal opportunities".

//*Hits herself on the head*

Sayesha washes hands in behti ganga! Muahaha! :D


OUCH! *The Girl's eyes are filled with tears*

Rohit Talwar said...

Yeah.

Funny, isn't it, how I feel the closest to my friend who moved to study in an another country four years back, and not to someone who is in your city, with whom you *thought* you shared a special bond.

Siddhu said...

That was the best last line I could have imagined!!!! ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sayesha said...

#Raj,
Arre woh nickname bhi kya jo weird na ho... :)

#Kusum,
*Happy wala sigh too* :)

#Somya,
Whoa, Charlie's angels? Hehehe! :D
Yeah, sometimes old friends serve as a checkpoint for our decisions :)

#Hotwinter,
Err... okay...

#Shub,
Yeah, I have found a lot of close friends thru my blog too :)

#Satish,
Thank you :)

#Chandu,
Thanks :)

#Ajay/Anon,
Thanks :) Yes, he's a very interesting person.. intriguing and interesting :)

#World Girl,
Baap re IIT-JEE and all? Good, uski sari energy wahan par lagegi toh blog world mein kam jhagde honge! Hahaha! :D
ps: Royegi toh ek aur kaan ke neeche! Mera haq banta hai, kyunki tu chhoti hai :P

#Rohit,
True true... :)

#Siddhu,
Hahaha! Thanks yaar! :D

lil _kath said...

...hey Kawaii,i'm still around hehe,i do read your blog sweetie but sometimes dunno what will i write down for comment^_^
(shut up kathy,ur lazy!)haha..*wink*
..luv that part...where's my dvd?*grin*
..hope you're doing fine yaar..
enjoy weekend!

cheers,
-kathy-

Shreemoyee said...

Friendships where you can start just where you left it are the most amazing.

Sayesha said...

#Kathy,
Hey, long time! Glad to know you're still around :) I'm doing good... exams starting soon! :O

#Shreemoyee,
Nicely summed up! :)

Ajay said...

nice one....
me here for the first time...
nice blogg
lol

Negative Creep said...

Hmph. I thought you'd put up a post about some good jazz music.

Purush said...

Hilarious!!!
Ur a modern day, female version of PG Wodehouse!!