Shaan meri jaan

So this guy-I-kinda-like is supposed to take me to a concert of another guy I like, when he has to cancel the date because of a game. To play a game, not watch one. I didn't mind. In fact, I found it kinda sexy and manly and all that blah which we girls like in guys but rarely admit lest it go to their heads which have a lot of empty space anyway.

Yeah, so dateless on Sunday night, my friend Clueless and I clutched the two concert tickets and set off on a journey to go see the man from my past. I had already warned her that he was all mine, but she wasn't gonna give up without a fight. 'May the best girl win' was our motto.

At first, whatever could go wrong went wrong. Instead of Kallang theatre, Clueless and I landed at Kallang Indoor Stadium. Thankfully, the lack of the usual crowd of a thousand millionaire Indians dressed up in funky finery and ghastly gold made me suspicious, and we asked around. Finally we found the right place. We had some time before the show started, and Clueless and I proceeded to copy-edit the concert programme they were distributing outside the theatre.

The unprofessionally done programme had many many errors, and it was obvious that no one had bothered to copy-edit it before it went to press. I wanted to scream "Argh! 'Churaliya' is not one word! Why are there no spaces after the commas? And there's no song called 'Just walking to my life'! And there's no Shaan album called 'Orja'! Argh! Argh! Argh!"

The lack of professionalism spilled over into the actual concert as well, when random guy in red kurta wandered on to stage and mumbled something like "Adarniya sajjanon, ab aapke saamne aa rahi hain... Bombay ki mashoor gaayika Moon... (pause)... Moon... (pause)..." And just as he had wandered into stage, he wandered off. There was a general buzz. I guess it was because 'Bombay ki mashoor gaayika' sounds like such a seedy term. "Who the heck is Moon-pause-Moon?" I turned to ask Clueless. "And if she's so mashoor, how come I haven't heard of her??"

"I know! If it wasn't for the banner behind with Shaan's pic, I wouldn't even know where I am!" She said.

Anyway, Moon-pause-Moon (MPM) appeared on stage. I gave her one of my famous 'looks' as if she really could see me in my 'First there's the 500-dollar seats, then the 300-dollar seats, then the 100-dollar seats and then mine' seat.

"Who is she??? Why is she here??? What if Shaan doesn't turn up at all? They'd better refund us man!" I fumed.

Anyway, I decided to be fair and give MPM a chance. Maybe hers was just the opening act while Shaan was getting ready. She started with the opening lines of 'Baahon mein chale aao' and I was pleasantly surprised because she sounded good. And then the band started playing the dhikchik beats. Dammit! Even live performances are remixes now?? I was pissed as hell.

That was just the beginning! She proceeded to sing two more songs, really testing the patience of the patrons. At the end of her third song, people had started chanting "We want Sha-aan! We want Sha-aan!" But like Clueless commented, his name isn't very 'chant-able' and so the chant did not really pick up.

But finally he appeared on stage! In white pants, a white T-shirt, an orange jacket(!) and (Kini you're gonna love this part!) red shoes! Big contrast from the all-black attire I had imagined him to be in, but what the hell. I was in the same room with Shaan. Ok fine, agreed the room was very very very big and had thousands of random people in it, but what the hell. I was in the same room with Shaan. I quickly sent an sms to my Dad to tell him of my utter good fortune. Mom must have been so jealous, she's a big fan of his 'Sa Re Ga Ma Pa' show.

Anyway, I sank back in my chair, looked at him and sighed.

The guy looks cute. Can sing like wow. Can dance like wow. Is funny. Writes his own songs which are like wow. What else do you need to fall hopelessly in love?

Yeah yeah, I know you're thinking "But he's married!" Well, one of my theories takes care of that small technical detail.

According to me, celebrities are not 'single' or 'married'. Celebrities are celebrities. They belong to everyone. And perhaps that's why even when a dude-type celebrity dedicates a full song to his wife, and looks at her now and then especially when singing meaningful songs, single girls (at least the non-duh ones) don't feel jealous. He just rises higher in their esteem. That's what makes a real celebrity. You look at him without anything else clouding your judgement, and you celebrate his talent. His personal life does not matter. He really does belong to everyone. Even though everyone thinks "He's all mine."

Anyway, Shaan started singing and then stopped abruptly and asked for volume adjustment. The sound guys just could not get it right. Sheesh, that was sad. Finally they did it and he started singing again. Lots of technical glitches almost ruined the show.

When he started off the song 'Tuney mujhey pehchana nahin' with 'Singapore, tuney mujhe pehchana nahin..." I was highly suspicious that it really wasn't Shaan we were looking at, but some imposter they'd decided to substitute to avoid getting MPM murdered by the pissed-off crowd!

The audience comprised of all kinds of people. Very different from the A. R. Rahman concert I'd attended last year, where I'd looked around to discover that I knew 60% of the people in the audience. This time, I did not see a single familiar face. And there were sooo many kids! Many of them were holding A5-sized sheets of paper with words written for him! It was so funny to watch them believe that Shaan could really see them. I wished I had a piece of paper, I'd have written '4' on one side and '6' on the other in big bold letters, held it up for Shaan to see and then said, "Ooops, sorry, wrong place!"

Shaan was really cheeky at times! During 'O humdum suniyo re' from 'Saathiya', he actually sang the 'shaam ko khidki pe chori chori nange paaun chand aayega' as 'shaam ko khidki pe chori chori nange paaun Shaan aayega'.

Then later when he invited people to go on to the stage to dance with him, at one point in time, I counted 80 people. As more and more people rushed up, and we kinda lost view of him, we heard his voice "Hmmm... Lagta hai stage par zyada log hain, neeche kam!" Later, he was feeling rather hot in his jacket, so he tossed it off with a "Now you guys know whose song is next!" It was a Salman Khan number.

Parents were sending their kids to run to him and shake his hand. At one point, he was saying something when this itty-bitty kid who barely reached Shaan's knee had grabbed his hand. It took Shaan a full five seconds to notice the kid, by which time the tiny tot had run off.

MPM sang the duets with Shaan. She was okay, but sometimes too high-pitched, and sometimes inaudible. I really wished Shreya Ghoshal had been there. (But she's coming here in April, and I shall be there for her concert! Maybe I will take guy-I-kinda-like, on a date!) MPM tried to complement Shaan's sponatenity but was rather unsuccessful. And she made an ass of herself when Shaan asked "Kuch toh hua hai, kya ho gaya hai?" She replied, "Sab ladkiyan aap par fida ho gayi hain, yehi hua hai!" Shaan retorted, "Kyun, aap chahti hain ki ladke bhi fida ho jaayein mujh par?" Everyone went hahaha but MPM said, "Ladke ladkon par fida hote hain kya?" Sheesh, reminded me of my days of naivety.

Another annoying factor was the bunch of dancers in the background whom Shaan named 'R and rangers'. Well, R wasn't too bad, but his rangers?? The less said, the better! They were just a bunch of teenagers dressed in black and strips of silver, dancing on stage as if it was someone's baaraat! No coordination (not even in the costumes! One of the guys who had probably tried to look like Usher ended up looking like one of the researchers in a microcontamination research lab.) at all! They would turn up now and then and do some random steps, then they would send in two sexy chicks who would also do their own thing, and then they would go off. Really really annoying stuff.

Shaan tried to encourage them by saying things like "Come back, guys! Wonderful performance!" but they were boo'ed off every single time. I wanted to join in the boo-ing but I have four presentations in Manila next week, and I can't afford to lose my voice the way I did after the ShahRukh show last year. So Clueless, if you thought I was jumpy, let me tell you it was the very mellow side of me.

Shaan sang pretty much all of my favourite songs (Tanha Dil, Aksar, Gumsum Ho Kyun, Woh Pehli Baar, My Dil Goes Hmmm, Ladki Kyun Na Jaane Kyun, Bhool Ja), except 'Yeh hawaein' which he said was his wife's favourite song. That song was terrible, in spite of Shaan singing it. All I'd like to say is -- wifey, you picked the perfect husband, but your taste in music sucks man! Shaan even sang the Lagaan song 'Ghanan ghanan' in spite of having, in his own words, "sirf saadhe teen lines" in the song! He also popped in two numbers from his latest album 'Tishnagi'. And when he sang 'Take me to your heart', I almost swooned, I did.

Actually he sang an incredible number of songs, as he wasn't wasting much time talking in between. But now and then he'd say something in between (and sometimes in the middle of) songs.

I liked what he said when he paused in the middle of 'Bhool ja'. "Life is too precious to cry over someone who's not worth it." So true.

Finally, he ended the show with a medley of songs, and you could see how boundless his energy was, the way he was jumping and dancing. And we, just sitting in our chairs, felt so exhausted.

Clueless and I trudged back home, tired, sleepy, but incredibly happy nonetheless. We'd seen Shaan after all. In 3-D, no less! To my utter relief, she mentioned that she really liked the guitarist. So I gave her the guitarist and asked her to stay off Shaan. I love you, baby girl, but I'm sorry I can't give you Shaan.

He's all mine, you see.