The days of our lives

Long ago, I wrote a post about the people we pick.

Some people just bring out the best in us. Others bring out the worst.

Hanging out with some people makes us happy. Even if nothing happening is happening, they add something to our lives, which just makes everything better. Their mere presence can make a really bad day seem not too bad. We actually like ourselves, and the people we become, when we are around them.

On the other hand, we don't like ourselves when we are with some people. Perhaps they bring out our worst side, something we’d rather not bring out, especially if it makes us feel not so good about ourselves. Perhaps that’s why our parents and teachers used to say, “You must hang out with good company.” And I’d always wonder what they meant by a vague undefined term like “good company”. What is “good company”? Who are these “good people” who make this “good company”? Perhaps this is what they meant. “Good people” are the people who make you feel good about yourself, whom you’re proud to hang out with. Deep inside, you know that because of them, you’re an ounce of a better person that you’d be without them. And yes, each of us has his/her own definition of a “good person”. My “good person” is not necessarily your “good person”. The person who brings out the best in me may bring out the worst in you. It’s my choice to hang out with the person, and yours not to.

Yesterday, I remembered a person I used to know called X. When we first met, I disliked X thoroughly. Usually, when I meet someone for the first time, I can immediately sense the vibes and know whether we would get along or not. In this case, the vibes were so negative, they were almost pushing me away from X. And considering that I like most people, this was my sixth sense telling me that I should not be friends with X. But because of a common friend Y, we hung out together, and I realised that being friends with X was perhaps not so bad after all. Well, after some time, I realised that I'd been right in the beginning, and that I didn't like myself when I hung out with X. I was turning into this person whom I disapproved of. And I wasn't even happy. So I was more than relieved when the friendship ended.

And that's when I realised something. Each of our relationships with people around us — with friends, partners, family — is like a day of our life. We meet someone early in the morning, start talking over breakfast, know them quite well by noon, start getting to know their not-so-nice sides by early evening, and by night, we've decided whether the day should end there or go on for a bit more. If we decide to take it further, the day doesn't start all over again. The night just becomes longer. And it's good, 'cos only when you've lived the day through till it's night, that you know everything you have to. At any given point, we may feel like we’re living only one day, but in reality, we’re living all of these days concurrently. Some of them just end early, and some don’t.

Perhaps that's why some days feel longer than others. On the other hand, some days are so incredibly short, we wonder where they went.

Some days are good right from the beginning and stay good all the way. Some days start off really well, and then end really badly, leaving you all disillusioned about the beautiful beginning. We hate how some days start off, but they just get better and better as the clock ticks. Other days start off badly and stay bad all the way. We feel glad when they get over. We try to forget they happened to us. We avoid thinking of how badly they screwed us over. And sometimes, they have such a hold on us that they influence every other day of our life. Much as we try to shake them off, their shadows stay with us and cast themselves on other days.

Some days are beautiful. We feel fortunate that they happened to us. And there are so many such days that often, we have difficulty when someone asks us "What was the best day of your life?" Actually, the best part is — some of the best days have not yet happened to us.

Some days are like other days but they are not quite the same. We want those old days back but we can’t have them. We remember them with fondness in our hearts, and live them again and again in our heads, in detail. We want new days to be like these old days. Somemtimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't.

Some days are unpredictable. They always manage to surprise or shock us. We think they’re headed a certain way, but they’re not.

Some days break our hearts when they end. We think that once they are over, life will never be the same again. But we’re proved wrong. Not only do we manage to get over and forget those days, better days come along, and we chide ourselves for crying over the days that are gone.

And sometimes, we don't know. We don't know how the next day is going to be like for us. We don't know how many more days we have in our lives.

And oh, on a final note, some days just never end, do they?