Friday, February 03, 2006

Her name is Aish. Baby Aish. And she has a licence to kick.

Dearest baby Aish,

Hope you’re doing well, sweetheart. How’s the food and accommodation there? I hope it’s to your liking. Do you have Internet access? I know you’re being taken care of very well, but I can’t help but worry and panic. Ever since your Mom told me about you, every now and then my heart rate goes up and I go thru a weird form of internal shivering. I have to often stop myself from thinking about you because it makes me giddy with anxiety. (And if they have Internet in there, you would know from my blog how 'fond' I am of collapsing in public places.) So I have decided to try and not think of you too much till I see you. And that's in about four months' time. (Yeay!)

Do you know, baby Aish, that you’re the result of a million wishes and prayers? Do you know that there is a bunch of people whom you don’t know, who just can’t wait to see you? Soon, you’re gonna have a bunch of adoring eyes peering down at you. Some you will like and you’ll smile at them, and make intellectual statements like “Ggglllbbbblllgooogeee”. Some you will hate, and you’ll pee and throw up on them. And most of these people come in pairs. A pair of parents, a pair of maternal grandparents, a pair of paternal grandparents.

But there will be one face peering down at you, which I’m hoping will be your favourite face. Other than your parents’, of course. And that one doesn’t come in a pair.

That will be your masi.

As you know, your Mom and I have always been complete opposites. For most of my years, in spite of being the younger one, I have always felt this compulsive need to protect her from the big bad world. And now, I’m freaking out at the thought of my 'baby sister' giving birth to another living, kicking baby. So listen up missy, easy with those kicks there, that’s my sister, okay?? Otherwise I will kick your ass when you grow up and run to me with your boyfriend problems.

I have always maintained that pregnant women are crazy. Perhaps it’s the hormones or whatever. And your Mom is no exception. Do you know what she did? She sent me your ultrasonography picture, called me up and excitedly asked, “Did you see the picture did you see the picture did you see the picture???? Don’t you think she looks exactly like your Jeeju??”

“Uhhh… ummmm… Uhhhh…”

I soon ran out of uhhhs and ummms and realised she was impatiently waiting for my response. That’s another scary side of her that the pregnancy has brought out – impatience and extremity of emotions. And trust me, nothing’s scarier than an angry pregnant woman. Not wanting to get the first scolding from her in all my 25 years, I whispered to myself, “Say something, Sayesha! Anything!”

“Errr... I can’t tell whom she looks like... I don’t know how people do it! I will only be able to tell when she’s like... uhhh... five or so?"

"Hmmm... okay... " She sounded disappointed.

I had to say something to make up for it. So I said, "But you know what??"

“What?” She asked excitedly.

“No matter whom she looks like, she’s gonna be exactly like me!” I said triumphantly.

Stony silence from her.

I think I alarmed your Mom with that statement.

Okay fine, don’t be like me. Be a bit more conventional. Don’t run around the neighbourhood bashing up guys. No gangs in school. Have a few female friends too. Believe me, they’re really not that bad. Don’t watch too many Bollywood movies. Don't go so nuts over Hindi songs that they play in your head even when you are sleeping. Don't take off on random holidays by yourself. Don’t have a crazy blog. Don’t pick a profession that has nothing to do with what you study in university. Don’t laugh when someone suggests an arranged marriage for you. And oh, very importantly, don’t read masi’s blog.

Alternatively, you may choose to completely ignore the paragraph above (I suggest you do that, but shhh… it’s between you and me only. Don’t tell your Mom, okay?)

They say a baby in the womb can hear things outside. I’m sure your parents are talking to you and playing nice music to you. Wish I were there to talk to you, sing to you, perhaps read out a few of my posts to you about the childhood days of your Mom and me. And you can laugh at grandpa’s and grandma’s first encounter with computers.

We have so much to talk about, Aish. I can’t seem to be able to wait. You signify the beginning of such a beautiful chapter of our lives. You will have a great life, we’re all there for you.

And all said and done, I want to share with you three words that will take you through life and make it a breeze. The three words that will put right everything that goes wrong. Three words that will always be with you all through. Three words that will come to your aid whenever you are in distress. Three words that you must remember like a chant.

You know the three words I’m talking about, don’t you?

Masi’s the best.



48 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hmm...i'm the first...
sayesha the best:-)
interesting post.

-bindu

Vikram said...

me second :P...

me want to be first. :(

Sash, kuch chakkar chala na...hehe...

Eclectic Blogger said...

wow.. u shud be all eager to see her.. she shud be too.. mostly attributed to the fact that (thank gudness for the east-west distance) there is never an opportunity for her to hear u ;-)

PS: by the time she comes out of her mom's womb, sayesha masi wud probably not-be-so-single..

Vikram said...

//I’m sure your parents are talking to you and playing nice music to you.//

I'm going to play Pink Floyd to my unborn baby in my wife's womb. Thats is for sure, even if my wife has problems with it, will play it when my wife is asleep and me and my baby are awake. Muhahaha

Deepa said...

Surprise surprise surprise...!!!!

Shriedhar said...

Wud be more interesting,if u suggest a more special name like 'sayesha' to the baby :).

V hear the name aish 100 times a day n it looks no more spl.
n u kno, the comparison aspect comes ....

Hope,the baby has powers 4 telepathy n catching ur thoughts !!!

Rohit Talwar said...

damn you vikram. i was about to say the same. Grr..

but i have another incident to share.. when my cousin's wife [err.. bhabhi] was pregnant [damn that was HUGE! woohoo!].. bhaiya & I used to play pink floyd.. and not to forget.. Beatles. yes. Beatles. so we hope the baby is cute and psychedelic...well balanced! and bhabhi so hated us those days!! she wanted us to play usual shit when she is around with the baby.. it turned out to be a girl and bhai & I were even more excited!! we're hoping the beautiful girl is going to grow up & give us company when we sit down n enjoy Pink Floyd discs :D

And hey! Masi's blog's not crazy.. ITS JUST FUNDOO! She's so going to start blogging once Masiji emails her the link!! :P

Clueless said...

Awwww...so cute!! Sayesha Masi. Its giving u warm fuzzies, isnt it? :D

Here's hoping Aish will find u one of the kindest, sweetest and most lovable people in her life. I have no doubt she will :)

And oh my god, I just realized. You're going to take her shoe-shopping before she even turns 5, arentcha?? And make sure she has matching shoe-wear for every frilly, cute dress she wears?? Wow..this is gonna be interesting to watch!! :D

tinku said...

Congratulations sayesha! :)

Tinku

Vikram H said...

Masi or no Masi...Sayesha's the best! Who else could relate so beautifully to a yet-to-be-born niece! :)...And i just realised that your "sister act" article was written on my birthday! :D

chitra said...

Sayesha masi ban rahee hain :) ! Oh wow...so how does it feel, would-be-masi? :)

Jay said...

"Masi’s the best"

Hmmm .. really? :p!

Congratulations! :D

Aethyr said...

oh Masi...nice i m going to be masi soon (ie.e 6 months from now ) of 3 babies (or more), and i m as excited as u...just cant wait to see those kids and i wish to be there when they have any boyfriend problems..;)

viv said...

Aish,

Don't worry kiddo... you're in good hands :)

Sayesha,

It'll be so cute to see masi and baby together... can't wait to see that when it happens!

Lalit Singh said...

Is it the season of babies??? just yesterday a colleague had a baby girl and we went to see her at the hosp...
The stork must be working its ass off...

Sayesha said...

#Bindu,
Thanks! :P

#Viks,
Can't chalao any chakkar yaar! Sabke time zones alag alag hain.. I can't pick an 'odd time to post' and call you immediately afterwards! There is no 'odd time to post'! :P

#Eclectic Blogger,
Haan yaar! Can't wait to see my Amrikan niece! :P

//by the time she comes out of her mom's womb, sayesha masi wud probably not-be-so-single..

WHAT? You expect me to get married within the next four months?? Sheesh! :O

#Viks,
Hahahahahaa! :D And oh, you must get ROS to name your baby. She is very good with nicknames (ahem). ;)

#Deepa,
:)

#Shreedhar,
She's already been named yaar, and I like it. Long story behind her full name! :)

#Rohit,
Hahaha! Tu bhi?? :)

//She's so going to start blogging once Masiji emails her the link!!

Hahaha! Unlikely that Masi will email her the link, considering that my sis and bro-in-law dunno about my blog, and are probably alarmed at the thought of Aish turning out to be like me! :P

#Clueless,
Thanks for the wishes, my dear! :)

//You're going to take her shoe-shopping before she even turns 5, arentcha??

Heh heh! You got it! ;)

#Tinku,
Thanks! :)

#Vikram H,
Thanks! :)
ps: Happy very very belated birthday! And happy birthday very very much in advance. And you know what? Aish may just share her birthday with yours! :)

#Chitra,
I'm excited and anxious and excited and nervous and excited and scared and excited... :)

#Jay,
Thanks! :)

//Hmmm .. really?

Yes! :P

#Aethyr,
Three babies?? Your sis is having triplets?? Or is it different sisters having one (or more) baby each?

//i wish to be there when they have any boyfriend problems

They will. They all come to masi. :)

#Viv,
//It'll be so cute to see masi and baby together

Yeah! Can't wait! :)

#Lalit,
Haha! Yeah, looks like it :)

croondoodle said...

1) aa ri aa ja nindiya tu le chal kaheen
2) akhiyon mein chote chote sapne sajaaike

a few lullabies for l'il Aish sayesha =)...can start preparing a list :)...have fun!

Aethyr said...

:)) 3 different sister having one or more babies each..
but imagine if all 3 of them have triplets...man what chaos...unimaginable 9 babies crying at a time for ONE MASI...din raat tare hi nazar aayenge ..

Suds said...

Hey Sayesha that is a great post. I like the name too Aish..:):)

Masi is the best.. Hahahahha... Enjoy

Rays Of Sun said...

:( subah subah kyun senti kar rahee hai??:(
**Female friends are not that bad"--I know..mujhse milneka baad sabka perception badal jaata hai:D

virdi said...

Uffff!!! Kuch log na aapni tareef karne se baaj nahi aate.... Bhagwan inko kuch akkal de do... Maasi is the best ki bachi, this is for you in In Amitabh Bachchan style

Jao pehle un baachon ka sign le ke aao jinko tum ne bachpan mein mar maar ke baingan ka bhartha bana diya tha...

Jao pehle un baachon ke ma baap se maafi maango jinko tum ne tang kiya tha...

Jao pehle un baachon se pooch ke aao jinke sir par Sayesha Slapped ME likha gaya tha...

Fir meri pyari Sayesha tum jo bologi main maan loonga...

V...

pandora said...

:D

wow that's grrrreat....so sweet post :D

senti senti....

:)

pandora said...

@ virdi

bilkul sahi..
i agree :P:P:P

cheerz

:)))

Thanu said...

ROS is a Masi, SaSh gonna be a Masi.... I Want to be a Masi too...
Congrats to ur whole family. I'm so excited.. and have no clue y....
Hope Aish chant Masi is the best for rest of her life Nahi tho can not imagine the poor girls plight

Rohit Talwar said...

Oh damn, why aren't they aware of your blog wonders? Galat baat, you should tell them. :D

Rays Of Sun said...

#Thanu,
Imagine Aish saying"Om Jay Sayesha hare":))
Or else "Mujhko masi jaisee buddhi dena, mann vijay kare..doosron ki jay se pehle sabka sarr phoden"=))
Even am excited..Waise Virdi your comment rocks..Kyun Sayesha affidavit bana le and yeah we want it on a stamped paper=))

Negative Creep said...

Awww... that letter is soo cute... nephews and nieces are sooo cute... the feeling of being somebody's fvourite person in the entire world makes you feel so good... i have one nephew and one niece and whenever i go to my cousin's house, the two of them won't let me leave... and your nephew/niece is gonna have a great massi... i got my 5 year old nephew listening to Nirvana... :P

The Girl Who Sold The World said...

Masi's the best
Hahaha...Masi's the bestest. :P

Such a cute post! Babies are so sweeeeeet...but when they grow up, I mean, when they turn 3 or 4, they become monsters...ugh!

Your Aish is gonna have one cool Masi...and I hope she does read this blog...after years and years...and realize the craziness of the drunkards at Sayeshaz. :P

ROTFLMAO @ Virdi's comment. :D

Sayesha said...

#Croondoodle,
Yes, I am making my list. First one's 'Surmayi akhiyon mein'. Hopefully I won't have to say "So ja warna Sash Masi lori suna degi" to make her fall asleep! :P

#Aethyr,
Whoala! Aethyr surrounded by 9 babies crying for Masi's attention! Whoa! :O

#Suds,
Thanks :)

#ROS,
To your credit, yes, you played a large part in me changing my mind about female friends :)

#Virdi,
Hahahahaha! That was HILARIOUS! And more so, because you read it out to me over the phone last night! :)

#Pandora,
Haan yaar... thot I'd lost my senti side man... shukr hai, abhi bhi kuchh bacha hai :)

#Thanu,
You'll soon be a masi. And you, ROS and I will have a masi's nightout party! You can make gobi manchurian. And NO Viks, you can't come. This party is only for masis. You're NOT a masi. Understand? :P

#Rohit,
No way man! My family should never know about my blog. Kuch bhi likho poochhne lagenge, "Aise kyun likha? Kya baat hai? Are you unhappy? Koi pareshaani hai? Hamein batao!" Baap re! No way! :D

#ROS,
//masi jaisee buddhi

Kyaaaaaaaaa??? Tuney Sash ko buddhi bola? Buddhi hogi tu! Hmmmph! :/

#Creep,
//the feeling of being somebody's fvourite person in the entire world makes you feel so good...

Totally agree! :)

//i got my 5 year old nephew listening to Nirvana...

Tied him to a chair first kya? :P

#The Girl,
Yeah, I think upto the age of 2-3, they're SO cute! After that, baap re baap! :O

Harshi said...

Adorable post Sash :-).

All my best wishes for a rollicking time with Baby Aish :-). She is indeed very, very lucky to be having you as her Masi!

fao said...

*grin* the last three paras snipped my silence. u rock star, you! :-)

Rohit Talwar said...

@ The Girl..
Yeah, specially when they start crying. Oh man they can be SO loud. Tich Tich!

Rohit Talwar said...

Sash.. I know what you mean! Even my folks don't know I have a crazy webpage :P Heehehehaaa! Chalo me gotta go.. take care!

jade said...

congarts!:) i'm gonna be a masi to one more kid in some 7 or 8 months i think...
u must be really excited.:) good luck with playing masi!:)

Sayesha said...

#Harshi,
Thanks, girl! :)

//She is indeed very, very lucky to be having you as her Masi!

Hope she thinks so too! ;)

#Fao,
Whoa someone's back! :)

#Rohit,
Yeah man... when they cry and you dunno what to do... and if you pick them up and they cry more... and you dunno what to do next... sheesh! Paseene aa jate hain! :O

//Even my folks don't know I have a crazy webpage

Hahaha! I understand completely. Parents ko samjhana thoda mushkil hota hai yaar ki aise kyun likha waise kyun likha! :P

#Jade,
Yes, I'm really excited, nervous and anxious too!
ps: Congrats to you too! :)

Veena said...

Roj aati hoon blog padhne..
padhne ke baad soch thi hoon ki chalo comment dedethe hain..
comment box kholne ke baad aisa lagtha hai ki..areey sayesha to very good, nice, funny , interesting..and so on..post hi likh thi hai..woh usko bhi pata hai..so kuch spl to nahin milega..

and bina comment room chodke chali jaathi hoon...

This post touched my heart..being a elder sis..i know how youngers feel abt their sis..very very good one sayesha...you put right words...chal thi fir thi words ka bhandagar:-)

Sayesha said...

#Veena,
Achha kiya jo comment kiya. :)
My sis needs all the good wishes she can get, and I'm getting all of them channelled to her from my blog :)
Thanks again, dear! :)

lil _kath said...

Hey thats cool^_~ baby is coming soon for your sis woww..lucky Masi ^_~ for sure you're very excited naa?That's what i felt when rina came to our life..
Best wishes to your sis..and
Godbless!

Love,
-kathy-

croondoodle said...

late reply ke liye muaafi...o ya! thats such a beautiful song...
na ji! am sure she would stay awake saying "Wah! maasi! aur ek gaana...pleeeease! uske baad so~oongi" =)

Ankur said...

pregnant women and mood swings,,just the mention is enuf to take the color of my face away

Sayesha said...

#Kathy,
Thanks! :)

Croondoodle,
Hahahahahahaha! :D

#Ankur,
Hahaha! Looks like you've had experience :)

rachana said...

Yest i told i like ur blog,,now i shud say i love them!!!!

Rebellion said...

Aawwwwwww...

That was such a cute post Sash!!! >:D<

I just don't have words to express... so won't really comment anything here, just that it was wayyy to cute, loved every bit of it! Am in love with your blog yaar >:D<

Take care,
Aarti

Sayesha said...

#Rachana,
Thanks! :P

#Aarti,
Thanks! :)

Vidya said...

well written ! Creative !

Biju Nair said...

This is the second blog of urs 1 am reading after the 'jobless-on-sunday' which was sent as an forward.It was very pleasant and interesting to read.

Thank you

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