Home for dinner

Going home for dinner cost me over nine hundred dollars. But these came free.

- The servants greet me with a respectful 'namaste' even though some of them have seen me from my diaper days

- Big doll in the living room (who also serves as Mom's stand-in granddaughter till my sis takes the hint) has a new dress

- I wake up to the sound of 'Beta, uthna hai?" ("Do you want to get up?") instead of an annoying alarm that implies, "If you dun get up now, you'll never make it to work on time!"

- There's always food in the fridge

- The house is always clean

- Breakfast is at the dining table

- I drink water in a glass instead of straight from the bottle

- Mom asks me thrice a day, "Do you eat properly in Singapore?"

- Mom thinks that it's a complete joke that I'm working on a book on nutrition

- Dad asks me if I know what I'm doing with my life

- Mom asks Dad to stop asking me silly questions

- Relatives ask me when and whom I'm marrying

- Little people run all over the house and refer to me as 'Aunt'

- I get a very amused "But it's almost summer, my dear!" when I switch on the water heater

- Contrary to what I believed, I don't die when I bathe with cold water

- There are no back seat belts in cars

- Dad laughs when I put on the front seat belt

- My cousins think I am insulting their driving skills when I put on the front seat belt

- People create their own zebra crossings by holding up one hand to stop traffic as they cross the road

- Taxi drivers open their mouths only twice, once to ask "Where to?" and once to tell you the fare

- The stars are visible every night

- Thums up and Maaza (and they come in a glass bottle!)

- My hair actually stays straight when I use my hair straightener (very low humidity)

- Shopkeepers give me funny looks when I say, "Thank you"

- There are ceiling fans in every room, in spite of the air-conditioners

- There are separate taps for hard and soft water

- External walls of buildings are full of movie and election posters

- Restaurants have a 'Singapore fried rice' on the menu

- Chilli sauce is green in colour

- TV ads are more interesting than the programmes they interrupt

- I want Fanta now and there's always someone to get it to me in under three minutes

Yup, looks like I'm home.