Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Hopelessly addicted to you

Sayesha is shocked at herself.

No, she's horrified.

No, shocked.

Ok, whatever is more extreme.

In order to cope with drooping eyelids at work (which were a result of the crazy lifestyle I'd been having over the last two months) I'd started drinking tea. Every day.

Now I'm the fiercely independent kind. The one who strongly believes that you should never be dependent on anything -- living or non-living -- to the point that you can't do without him/her/it. And though I knew that people do get addicted to tea, for some weird reason, I was sure it wouldn't work in the same way for me. Overconfidence, I suppose. I thought I could just consciously tell myself not to get addicted and it would work. And if it didn't, I would convince myself that I wasn't addicted, and that it's only a passing phase. And that would work.


So today, when I finally woke up after a good night's sleep, I decided not to have tea.

And I freaked out.

The uneasy feeling I harboured the entire day is indescribable. And it wasn't just a physical thing. It was nagging me in the head. At first, I tried to speculate what it was. Was I ill? Was I homesick? Was I missing someone? There definitely was something goin' on. Something was amiss, something was not right. There was a crushing feeling in my heart, and a shiver in my spine. I was feeling cold. COLD. I made a mug of horlicks for myself, but that just felt like a
rebound.

And suddenly it struck me -- perhaps I was addicted to tea!
I was quite horrified at the thought that a tiny cup of dull brown liquid had seeped into the spaces of my new lifestyle and made such a place for itself. That too, without my knowledge!

Sometimes, someone or something becomes an integral part of our day, our life, without us even realising it. And because we don't realise it, we think we will be able to easily handle the absence of the person or the thing once it's gone. But we only realise the seriousness of the thing when withdrawal symptoms kick in.

Gosh, am I addicted? That's a scary thought. I don't want to be addicted to anything or anybody.

So today I decided that I'm gonna back off. And I did good. Even though I had access to the tea trolley three times in the day, I did not have tea.

Tea is not something I intend to have a long term relationship with, and so this has to stop now before anyone gets hurt. I am strong enough to stop. I will stop having it because I refuse to let any person or thing control my life. And addiction of any kind, is never good.

And while all these thoughts flew around in my head, I couldn't help but wonder about something kinda related.

What's worse? To be addicted to a thing or a person?

Heaven save you if it's a person you're addicted to.



48 comments:

justme said...

mmm... am addicted to tea too.. but have never given a thought abt kicking it off.. maybe i should..

addicted to a person.. i was once upon a time.. took some time to get her out of my sstem and my life.. but there r times wen i still yearn for her..!! but dats life isnt it... u ve to be addicted to something..!!

mabe u don know wat u r addicted to sayesha!!

Jagan said...

in college i used to drink 8 cups of tea (one cup each hour I bunked and there were 8 hours ;-) ).loved the addiction then

Divya said...

I have this real addiction to tea and you know what, I really need tea everyday! Maybe it's because it keeps me awake during lazy afternoons after I get up from my siesta or maybe it's just that cozy feeling of sipping chayya (mallu for tea) with your mum during the evenings. With me, it's tea when you are down, tea when you are happy, tea when you just feel like drinking something. I think it's bad but hey, old habits die hard.
maybe we should just meet up for tea some times, sayesha! :)

p.s = i'm quite certain the habit will die off soon...i am too vain to let it spoil my teeth (as the med book says ;)

Sayesha said...

#Justme,
//mabe u don know wat u r addicted to sayesha!!
Ok stop freaking me out. I have pinned down what I think was the reason for my uneasiness today and don't you confuse me now! :)

#Jag,
8 cups?? Eight cups???? And here I am, shocked and horrified at my one cup a day!

#Divya,
Sayesha's givin' up tea, girl! Maybe we can meet for soya bean milk instead?
Hey, did you just go "Ugghhh!"?? :P

Anish said...

addiction to tea....well..i exactly know what it is...went for a 10 day course which i did not want to...wanna try???...check the blog :-)

virdi said...

after my Appendicitis operation I got addicted to day time T.V. :-)

soya milk?? uuuuuaaaaaaarrrrggggghhhhh!! don't touch me.. you are poisoned..

V..

renegadefade said...

bah!! u can't get addicted to tea!!

i used to have like 3 giant sized mugs worth everyday when i was living at home.. no effect when i moved away and had to give up.. maybe tumhari chai mein milawat hai :)

Sayesha said...

#Hey Anish,
Welcome back!! And I thought you disappeared for good!
Don't meditate so much yaar :)

#Oye Virdi,
Soya bean milk is very healthy! And it tastes good too! Much better than normal milk anyway! Normal milk makes me go ughhhh!!! :S

#renegadefade,
Whatever it is, I'm giving it up! Freaked out man! Sayesha's not supposed to get addicted to anything. Except hindi songs. And bollywood movies. And blogging. And... ok fine there are some things she's addicted to! :P

Divya said...

Soya bean milk? okay i wont go ugggghhh...but this is gonna be off topic..i was eating out at this thai restaurant (it was supposed to be oh-so-posh) and this waiter brings me the menu and asks me "drinks, miss?"...and i look at the menu and this particular drink catches my eye "Thai Rose Milk" and I'm thinking "whoa this must be exotic...amazingly thai and all"...and he tells me, "no miss, we call it air bandung" (p.s = hope you have heard of that in sg..it's a drink which is pink in colour which you can get from basically any mamak stalls)...so much for being posh...*lol*

priya said...

me "complan girl" strong n healthy :)
..p..

Sayesha said...

#Divya,
Yup, I've tried bandung before. Not a fan! :S

#Priya,
Me horlicks (starting today)! :)

Sayesha can't believe how the focus of the original post changed over the last ten comments! :)

Divya said...

okay okay...we'll get to horlicks now? hey by the way, happy onam sayesha! can't wait for the sadhya tomorrow...wonder whether they are serving tea tomorrow...hehee...and no, they dont serve horlicks girl!

Sayesha said...

#Divya,
Nahin yaar, Horlicks is also a health drink... we dun meet friends over health drinks man! We'll go get drunk on some freshly squeezed orange juice at New Asia Bar. What say? ;)

ps: Hey, what's onam? Is it the harvest festival thing? And what's sadhya? :O

justme said...

@sayesha:
seriously think.. there has to be something u addicted to ok..?? ehhehe :)

complan.. horlicks..soya milk.. yikeess.. gals grow up plzzzz

Kroopa Shah (Kr00pz) said...

Sigh! Its coffee for me. There was a time when I wouldn't be able to start my day without coffee. Now I just have once in a while!!

Sayesha said...

#Justme,
//there has to be something u addicted to ok..??

There is there is! ;)

//complan.. horlicks..soya milk.. yikeess.. gals grow up plzzzz

Be thankful we're not talkin' about cerelac, man! I love cerelac! Yes, even now! Whenever I make it for my baby nieces and nephews, I always eat one big spoonful first! :P

#Kroopz,
//Now I just have once in a while!!
That's good, isn't it?? What are you sighing for, gal?

Anonymous said...

sayesha, you are addicted to blogging:-) you once said you can't survive without a long no post drought:-) Hey, am kidding...but am kinda addicted to your blog. my days won't go without reading your blog ever since i started reading it...

Divya said...

yeah its the harvest festival we mallus celebrate...and 'sadhya' is like the food fiesta thingie..can go up to 16 dishes or even over 30 (the additional dishes are basically just another variety...it's the same dish but another colour..hahaa...like olan and kalaan and all that)wow, u are talking about getting drunk...and orange juice? when was that intoxicating?...what about toddy?hahaa...must keep up with tradition one of these days...:)
just kidding...

Divya said...

okay i am addicted to a person...this chat pal online...i just need to talk to him everyday...and if i dont send him an emoticon hug, the feeling is just not right...and i am so addicted to shoes (sayesha we must start a club)...it's some sorta magnetic attraction when you see those sleek-strappy things on display...and yeah, i have to agree with anonymous, guess i'll end up with "sayesha's blog-addiction syndrome"...

Sayesha said...

#Anonymous,
Oh my goodness I think you're right! :O
And thanks, fellow addict! :P

#Divya,
On your 1st comment -- Whoa that's a lot of food! Sounds like some heavy workout sessions may be required after the festival is over, eh? ;)

On your 2nd comment -- girl, you have NO IDEA about the things in common we have! I'm kinda freakin' out here! :O

Ok, I've finished my assignment... going offline now... time to hit the bed... g'nite folks! :)

virdi said...

tum log sub sala doodh peete baache ho... hic hic hic!!!

main sala daru pee ke aaya hoon.. hic hic hic!!!

oye chad gayi oye sharate naal!!! hic hic hic!!!

V..

patiala pataka said...

I used to be addicted to Soya Bean milk then someone told thst I will grow breasts if I continued!! I think something to do with estrogen... So I stopped drinking.

patiala pataka said...

Abey virdi, sala Patiala ke saamne piker aaya hai? Sharm nahi aati? Chota peg milega?

Sushant Bhatia said...

Yikes. I'm glad you realized your addiction at such an early stage and are taking steps to deal with it. As for getting addicted to a person....I think its called marriage!! :-)

spamtaneous said...

chai is like an universal medicine to me... i have abt 5 dozes of it daily

happy sad angry pissed off with boss embarassed..every situation ..it works..

justme said...

@sayesha:
mmm.. y didnt i ever think if cerelac..??!! i ve forgotten wat cerelac tastes like.. will surely give it a try..!! thanks for d suggestion.. we never realise dat there is so much of variety uh??

justme said...

@sayesha:
mmm.. y didnt i ever think if cerelac..??!! i ve forgotten wat cerelac tastes like.. will surely give it a try..!! thanks for d suggestion.. we never realise dat there is so much of variety uh??

Lucia said...

i know just what you mean! I literally had coffee running in my veins for eight months as I did my undergrad thesis... i went cold turkey, and switched to green tea... now I can't stop drinking that stufF!

Keshav said...

We'll go get drunk on some freshly squeezed orange juice at New Asia Bar.

getting drunk over orange juice :-s..thats an oxymoron !!

Sayesha said...

#Oye 12 saal ke sharaabi,
Koi watchman ko bulao re!

#PP,
Hahaha! Nothing's safe anymore, huh? :D

#Sushant,
//As for getting addicted to a person....I think its called marriage!!
Gosh no! I violently disagree.

#Spam,
Not good, my friend, not good. Wanna be quit-buddies?

#Justme,
Cerelac is the best baby food, man! You got babies in your house? Steal a bite and then tell me! :P

#Lucia,
I've thought of switching to ice lemon tea too, at least during the withdrawal symptoms period. But gotta watch out that I don't get addicted to that!

#Keshav,
You probably missed my 25 things about me post. Orange juice works like alcohol for me :)

Keshav said...

I know yaar ..I didn't miss it :).

Casablanca said...

"As for getting addicted to a person....I think its called marriage!! :-) "
I thought marriage was rehab.. its the process of getting out of the addiction ;)

Jagan said...

he he ..neways .. i ahve stopeed drinking tea now . i hav moved to coffee .. just 4 cups ;-) .

Ravi said...

I was never addicted to tea. I consciously decided never to fall in that trap of tea or coffee watching my parents simply go nuts if they dont get their three cups of tea everyday. I was at one time addicted to milk (2 glasses full daily). Yes pure milk. No soya milk. No complan. No horlicks. Pure unflavoured milk. But that was a long time ago.

And Sayesha, if you think you are not addicted to anything, is not blogging an addiction to you now? OK OK I can already see many hands ready to slap me....OK Sayesha blogging is not an addiction. Believe me, its not :)

Ravi said...

Oops...somebody has already pointed that out.
aaj mera din nahi hai. galtiya hi galtiya ho rahi hai.

Sayesha said...

#Keshav,
Theek hai phir! :)

#Casablanca,
Haha! :)

#Jag,
Just four cups?? :O

#Ravi,
Oye I already admitted I'm addicted to blogging! I was the first one to say it man. Why is everyone else talking credit for saying it? :)
ps: Gee, thanks for hinting that I should stop blogging because I hate addiction of any sort. :(

justme said...

@sayesha:
nah..no baby at d moment.. wen i go to my sis's next time.. ill try for sure.. :)

Sushant Bhatia said...

Gosh no! I violently disagree.

What would Gandhi say? :-)

Anonymous said...

Hmmm Addiction

First it was Milk -> Tea ->Coffee -> IceCreams-> Anything containing C2H5OH -> Cocktails->Mocktails->Fresh Juice->Milk.......
the cycle continues.

BTW m also getting addicted to reading blogs during wrk hours.

TC

HoliDevil

Ravi said...

What will happen to my addiction of reading your blog then?

yeh aaj mujhe ho kya gaya hai? apne hi pair par kulhaadi maar raha hoon. phir se bolta hoon Blogging is not an addiction And I'm not joking. I'm damn serious. Look at my face :-|.

Anonymous said...

How about getting addicted to reading blogs?? I am addicted to reading your blog to an extent of returning every few hours, hoping that you would have more than one post in a day.

Anish said...

Happy Onam !!

Anish said...

i remember a time when i was blogrolled here :-(

ashy said...

have got addicted to your blogs...
this is one thing that I don't miss these days :-)

and BTW Sayesha's is not complete unless I scroll thru the comments !!

addiction has its own charm...u must njoy it !!

Sayesha said...

#Justme,
Yup, try the cerelac natural flavour! Yum! :P

#Sushant,
Gosh, Gandhi now??

#HoliDevil,
Wow, dunit all eh? :)

#Ravi,
Pitega! Am telling you, kahin mil gaya na... bahut pitega!

#Anonymous,
Hey, thanks! But I don't post from work or uni, only from home at night. So one post a day is the maximum it can get :)

#Anish,
//i remember a time when i was blogrolled here :-(

I remember a time when Anish Unnikrishnan had not abandoned his blog and gone to the Himalayas to be a sadhu.
ps: You're back, buddy! :)

#Ashy,
I agree, the comments complete the picture :)
(Or completely change the picture, especially when Virdi jumps in!)
Thanks, man :)

mogambo said...

yeh virdi beech mein kahan se aa gaya?? sala idiot hai... mere ko milega toh bolunga mat kar...
he ha ha he ha ha... mogambo khush hua...

Sayesha said...

#Mogambo,
Virdi ke baare mein aisa waisa kuchh bhi bola na toh Sayesha se bura koi nahin hoga! Only I have the right to abuse him! Hahaha! :D

Sayesha khush hui.

Bhavya said...

I know what you mean. I was totally addicted to coffee once. Had quite a hard time giving it up. But I did give it up. Yeay!