Gimme a single reason!

My ideal relationship status?

Attached yet single.

Sounds like an impossible concept? Well, hear me out first.

The world is full of people looking yearningly at the other side. Single people yearn to be attached. Attached people think singlehood rocks. But is there a middle path? Sounds too good to be true? But I believe there is.

There is a certain way I live my life. I like to live it that way, and a guy is not a good enough reason for me to change it. If the guy thinks I'm worth it, he's got to understand that.

And that to me, is singlehood.

I know this girl who's a lot like me. Guards her independence with absolute ferocity. She thought she depended on no one. Till the day she suddenly found that she did. She needed help with some big stuff. And when her boyfriend could not help (no fault of his though, long story) she suddenly realised that maybe she wasn't so independent after all. First she got angry with him, and then at herself for being unfair to him. And for being so helpless. And she hated that feeling. Well, she did not break up with him, but 'broke away' instead.

Now she's happy as hell. Lives her own life. Meets him once in a while. Loves him a lot. But she's as 'single' as can be. And deliriously happy.

And that's my kinda singlehood.

To be known as me and not someone's somebody. To not have to answer to anyone or to ask for permission for anything. Or to explain what I'm doing with my life or whom I'm meeting and where I'm going. That makes me feel like a million bucks.

And that to me, is singlehood.

I had a list of things in my head that define what I expect from this state of 'attached singlehood'. And finally, the list is ready for public viewing.

Here it is, boy:

• I think the whole Valentine's Day concept kinda sucks. I may not buy you anything or expect you to buy me anything. So don't panic.

• If I point at a girl on the road and say, "Hey, that's one hot babe!" don't assume that I'm testing you and look away. Check her out for heaven's sake. And no, you don't have to say "But you're hotter!" to me. Duh, if I'm pointing her out, she's obviously hotter than me. Otherwise I'd be pointing at myself.
  

• I'll point out hot guys on the road too. You have the option of not looking.
  

• If you wanna hang out with the boys on Friday night, do so. Don't come and "ask me for permission". It's okay, really. (As long as you keep that beer belly under control.)

• If we have a fight and I get angry, don't manaofy me just because I am the girl. If I think over it, and figure that it was my fault, I'll come manaofy you.

• I will spend 50% of my income on stuff that you will not ask me about. Although you may see most of it in the shoe racks, but once in a while I may be saving up to buy you something big. So rule of thumb -- don't ask.

• I want a beach holiday every year. I'd like you to come with me, but if you can't for some reason, don't stop me from going.

• Give you my email password?? Are you freakin' crazy? Have I ever asked you for yours?

• You don't have to pay every time we eat out. I prefer to go dutch. (But feel free to pamper me with a little kit kat now and then.)

• Don’t give me bouquets when we’re out. I think it's extremely silly to walk around with a guy, holding a bouquet.

• Do not buy me freakin’ expensive gifts. I’d be more than happy to just have a 2-dollar pair of earrings.

• I am a big girl and I can take care of myself. Don’t baby me all the time. (Once in a while wouldn’t hurt though.)

• I refuse to wear a pendant with a photo of us together. Don’t even think about it.
  

• I will not open letters addressed to you. And you won't open mine.

• I will not take you shoe-shopping. You will not take me to a gaming shop. We will only shop together if we’re buying stuff for each other, and want the other person to pick the stuff himself/herself.

• I will do crazy things like not open an umbrella in torrential rain, play with a stranger’s baby in the train, buy a bottle of 100plus at twice the price from the old man’s shop downstairs just because he looks really bored, go to a 24-hour coffee shop at 4 in the morning and eat street food, wake up one fine day and go get a tattoo. If you disapprove, stay away.

• I don’t watch war movies. If you want to go for one, just go by yourself. I know you really want to watch it. Don’t cancel just because I don’t want to go.

• I’ll be happy if you open doors for me, but I won’t be angry if you don’t.

• I will open doors for you.

• When we're eating out, do not dig into my food as soon as it arrives. I don't like others taking the first bite of my food. And that holds for you too. You can have a sip of my drink, but that's it. One sip. If you like it so much, get your own!

• It's okay if you forget our anniversary. But you dare forget my birthday.
  

• I will continue to buy pink gerberas for myself. Please don't take it as a hint or an insult.

• If you wanna shave your head to support the cancer society, go ahead and do it by all means. Don't ask me if you should. It's your head, man. (Jus don't be seen in public with me till your hair grows back.)
  

• I will tell you which of your shirts I hate, and I will threaten to burn them. But I won't actually do it. They are your shirts. You burn them yourself.

• On some days, I am gonna be all girl. I'm gonna get a manicure and pedicure, and probably even put on a hideous facial mask and walk around. If you can't take it, just leave. I won't mind. Really.

• You can tell me if I get fat. It's okay, I won't shut myself in and cry. (I need someone to tell me such things so I can work out like mad.)

• I don't want romantic candlelight dinner dates all the time. Sometimes I want to go on roller-blading, hiking, ice-skating, canoing, cycling dates. If you have no time or inclination, it's okay. I'll go with my other friends. Or on my own.

• I have a wild side. Don't curb it. (I promise to behave when your parents are around.)

• Understand that you're not the only person I love. I love a lot of people. I just love you in a different way.
  

• I will never change my surname. Ever.

• Ask me to marry you if and only if you're very very sure that you can handle my 'singlehood'.
  

Because I intend to stay single all my life.

And a boyfriend/husband will never get in the way of my singlehood.