Saturday, April 17, 2010

In-flight entertainment

Snippets from my flight to LA:

- The stopover at Tokyo was fun. I saw some highly entertaining features for users to select on their high-tech toilets. Music. Spray intensity. Powerful deodorizer (yes, the button actually said Powerful deodorizer. Flushing sound volume. Wait a minute... Flushing sound volume?? You get to pick if it should be whoosh or WHOOOOOOSH? Hahahahaha!

- Got frisked by a Japanese female security officer who exclaimed "Hoi!" with every movement she made. I was quite alarmed, but later a friend told me that she was actually saying "Hai" which in Japanese means "Yes." Erm, I am still quite alarmed.

- Every time I fly with Viv, he orders a special vegetarian meal which is almost always better than mine. So this time I ordered it, but since I was flying alone, I was all prepared for Chef Murphy to give me the crappiest meal on the aircraft. To my surprise, I had nice rajma and paneer and parathas which were being eyed enviously by my fellow passengers.

- So I had an aisle seat in a row of four seats and I was hoping the other seats would stay empty so I could stretch all I want. But this long-haired musician (saw him with a guitar after I got out of the airport) came and sat right next to me. I was hoping he'd at least move to the other aisle seat but he didn't budge. After the plane had taken off, he unbuckled his seat belt and I went "Yeay!" in my head. My joy was short-lived. The dude lifted all the armrests in between, lay down and went to sleep, occupying all three seats! And the worst part was that his long blonde hair would fall on my armrest every time he turned in his sleep so I had to very carefully brush it all away so he wouldn't wake up thinking I had yanked his hair! (Btw, it is extremely creeeepy to touch a stranger's hair when they are asleep.)

- Because of the above situation, I couldn't sleep at all and decided to watch movies instead. Watched Tum Mile and All The Best and Blue. Tum Mile was not bad but the directors need to know that when you make a movie, at least ONE of the lead pair needs to be a little good-looking yaar. No wonder the movie bombed. The best friend (who died, as all best friends in Hindi movies are destined to) was better-looking than Soha and Emraan put together. I will say though, that Emraan Hashmi still looks good in glasses. *ducks to avoid joota chappal* All The Best is a DHAKKAN movie. So is Blue. Okay did anyone else notice that in Blue, when Sanjay Dutt's house is being shot at by the bad guys, he pauses to -- get this -- PUT ON HIS SUNGLASSES before he starts shooting back at them????

- My co-passenger who was sitting in front of me asked me if I was a student. YIPPEEE!! The only time I was in a more jubilant age-related situation was when I was asked for my ID at a casino entrance.

- My co-passenger (the same one as above) and I saved this Indian's dude's baby --- he had plonked the stroller with the baby on the airport bus and the stroller started rolling away backwards about to fall off the bus when we grabbed it. Forget thanking us, he did not even look at us. He just took the stroller from our hands and walked away. Badtameez teri phat jaaye kameez!

- This is only my third visit to the US but I have noticed one thing about the folks at the immigration counters -- they are either super grumpy or super cheerful. The one I got at LA asks me where I am going to stay. "My husband's cousin's place." I say. "So you're married?" He asks. "Yes" I say. "Whyyyyyyy?" He says in a tone of despair. As I look at him in surprise, he starts typing on his keyboard and says, "Okay I have just dropped your husband an email asking him why he married you and ruined my chances." I gape at him, wondering how bored the poor fella must be at his job to say all this.

- The customs guy asked me whose address I had put on the form. "My husband's cousin" I said. He looked up, to his left, and then to his right, as if I had just said, "Meri mummy ki behen ki beti ke pati ke bhai ka beta" and he was working it out. Then he said, "Hmmm... so... is that your... cousin-in-law or something?" Before I could say "I guess you could say that." he started wondering at his own question "Is that even a term...? Hmmm". Ok these guys ARE really bored.

That's all for now. I'm terribly jet-lagged and in severe need of some sleep. I guess I just have one last mandatory thing to do before I go to bed. Put on my sunglasses.


Yours truly said...


Anonymous said...

looks like the start to a memorable holiday! have loads of fun, yaar!

Aathira said...

HAv fun dear... Enjoy!!! :)

VIDYA said...

haha..and you seem to have met a lootta colorful n crazy come this never happens when I fly?:/

bluejay said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bluejay said...

Ha ha ha :) and also SILVER!!!

I know the immigration guys are wierd!.. I hurt my hand..and it was bandaged.. so he asks me.. (a 20+ I am not saying wt the '+' is :P)... "Ohh.. U got a Boo boo" !!!!!!!! I was shocked!!!... I might look younger than my age.. but.. this!! :)

mythalez said...

i generally dont give my meal preference because then, often, i get to choose from the small menu cards they distribute and imagine myself to be in a crappy restaurant ;)

rofl at @bluejay's immigration officer :D

Porkodi (பொற்கொடி) said...

//"Okay I have just dropped your husband an email asking him why he married you and ruined my chances." //

:)))))) that is Bhai for everybuddy! you have come to LA? how many days? puhleeeease visit Seattle also no?

Porkodi (பொற்கொடி) said...

Happy vacation Bhai!! What better way to celebrate a budday!

Geomon said...

lolz! i so can relate to this one.
in fact the casino thing's a trick 4 the usherer 4 extra tip from the flattered lady(never fails) :P
I've been mistaken for age ample times, and it's really awkward when u have to explain u actually are older than that, esp. to girls :)
one immig. official actually read my 'Deutsch' visa as Dutch.One bored guy asked 'u indian?'(duh!passporto!) n then didn't stamp it. :/

Kanan said...

Happy vacation, Sash!

The whoosh is for less solid contents in bowl and WHOOOOOOOSH for more. ;) lol

OMG OMG OMG! totally completely definitely agree on guys with glasses they're just so *drool*worthy with them than without. I actually do like Emraan in that old post of yours. I never thought I'd say this... sheesh!

LMAO @ Badtameez teri phat jaaye kameez! Indeed, there should be a licensing to apply for parenting.

Glad to know the customs experiences were not so bad that they become an entire post.

What all are you seeing there and for how long? Let me know if you want suggestions. Enjoy!

How do we know said...

tell us more about the Japanese toilets please... we feel rather un-evolved at the moment.

And Bhai.. have u started to look too hot for Viv to let u travel alone? :-)

The Soul of Alec Smart said...

Laughed all the way through this post.. rocking start to your trip :)

PizzaDude said...

LOL @ Badtameez teri phat jaaye kameez

Well, if that guy had bada-tummyz, then his kameez would have definitely gone phat.

Say a biiiiig Hi to Jennifer Aniston and Matthew McConaughey from my side :D

Prithi Shetty said...

LOL ! You are super entertaining, baba !

Anonymous said...

Bhai, a firang hitting on you! Viv must surely be fretting with anger and jealousy.

sagar said...

Excellent post bhai!
You had been writing too many short posts, so it was really wonderful to see this one come along.

Srishti said...

Hehehehe!! I couldn't stop laughing!
High tech toilets :D :D

I love, love, love your blog Sayesha! :) I'm so stalking it. ;)
Hahaha...Blue sucked.

LA...mmmm. :)

Anonymous said...


Arun said...

"Okay I have just dropped your husband an email asking him why he married you and ruined my chances."

And best, this was after a looooooong flight! and "I'm terribly jet-lagged and in severe need of some sleep."


Raja Swaminathan said...

Am new here and thoroughly enjoying your blog.
This one is great too - "Ok, these guys ARE really bored.":-)

Enjoy yourself. I look forward to reading a lot more on your blog.

Footloose said...

As always, very entertaining :) Welcome to Southern California! I'm at nearby San Diego, it'd be nice to meet you. Although it might be a tad strange - I've been an avid reader (who posted very few comments over the past few years) but you don't know me at all:).

PK said...

Hey, Good one. Enjoyed reading your blog. Take rest, and Keep posting.


Pujya said...

not sun glasses....night goggles :P

phatichar said...

Lovely post, as usual! :-)

Stupidosaur said...

Baaki sab baaki sab ne bol diya. I'll add one more thing...Yay! This means more Aishu adventures for us! Right? Right? Umm right, right?(:S) (Wonder why nobody else thought of that!!!)

Kanan said...

To my fellow dino, hmm.. may be because baby Aish plays in snow and LA has got none. :P hehe..
But you never know as Sash may have a surprise visit planned for big sis and baby A. ;)

N said...

So Viv has returned back or will you be meeting him there?

~ Lopa said...

Bhai still suffering from jetlag? No posts? ;)

hehe it was a fun read as usual. Have a nice time in US summer :)

Sorcerer said...

Thanks for such a nice read!

Sayesha said...

#Yours truly,
Thanks! :)

It was awesome awesome! I owe you the mystery spot pics! :)

Thanks! :)

//you seem to have met a lootta colorful n crazy come this never happens when I fly?:/

Crazy attracts crazy? :P

Hahahahahahaha! You got a Boo Boo! Hahahahahahaha! :D

Hahaha... that's a cool strategy. :)

We were in LA for a few days and then drove to San Francisco. :) Seattle? Next time perhaps! You can teach me Tamil then! :)

Sheesh! I didn't tip anybody though! :P

Thanks! :)

//The whoosh is for less solid contents in bowl and WHOOOOOOOSH for more. ;) lol

Hahahaha! But it's just the sound, not the actual flushing! :D

Hehehe... welcome to the Emraan Chashmi fan club! :P

Will post details of trip on Hopscotch soon. :)

#How do we know,
Hahahaha! :D

#The Soul of Alec Smart,
Thanks. :D

Hahahahahaha! I am now LOL-ing away thinking of the silly tummies jokes we were cracking that day! :D

Thank you. :P

I think he was merely amused. Hmmph! :/

Thanks! :)

Thank you! :)

Yeah, that guy was REALLY bored I think! :/

Thanks! :)

We were in San Diego just for a few hours. We'll try to meet the next time! :)

Thank you! :)

LOL! No, if Munna Bhai wore sun glasses, Sash Bhai must follow. :P

Thanks. :)

Nahin yaar, I was in the West Coast and Aishu lives in the East Coast. :(

Yeah I met him there. :)

Thanks! New post is up. :)

Thanks! :)