Friday, June 08, 2007

Now you're talking

Blogs started out as a platform where people could anonymously rant about the not-so-good bits of their lives. They were un-googlable. They could say all that they wanted to say to people without saying it to their faces. Things they would never let anyone read. 'Blog-therapy' they called it.

However, somewhere along the way though, it got tiring. There wasn't enough rant-able stuff happening. So we started blogging about happy stuff. Random stuff. Non-secrets. And it did not matter anymore who was reading.


On the bus today, I was wondering what it would be like to blog the way blogging started out as -- to talk to people without talking to them. To say things you would not say to their faces.

Here's some of the stuff that floated about in my head in the last few days, but never left my lips:

  • Your hair is so beautiful that sometimes when you're talking to me, I am actually admiring your hair.

  • I still remember how messy things got, but I am glad you guys found real happiness in each other.

  • Yes, you are a bit neurotic. But it's fine. We all are.

  • He's one of my bestest friends. When he married you, I was apprehensive. I did not know you. Now that I do, boy am I glad he married you.

  • Why are you so grumpy? Sometimes it's very difficult to be around you.

  • You look really pretty today. But I've noticed that compliments make you uncomfortable so I won't say anything.

  • Just smile and say "Thank you."

  • Please don't be depressed. Your depression rubs off on me.

  • I'm so jealous that I am not at the party in India right now. I hate you girls. But I guess I love you. All seven of you. Damn you for having the party without me.

  • I used to think you're a dumb chick, but you're actually not.

  • Everybody's life sucks at one point or the other. Yours cannot suck all the time. Quit whining.

  • This, right here, is a fake smile.

  • You owe me money. Why are you pretending that you've forgotten?

  • Yes, I am very "Indian". You got a problem with that?

  • Yeah, I think she's quite a bimbo.

  • I admire your ability to not get riled up but I won't tell you because you will use it against me to get all patronising when I get riled up.

  • I know. And you know that I know.

  • Why are you guys so mercenary?

  • If you say that one more time...

  • I can't understand how you can be so plain-looking and yet so sexy.

  • Duh!

  • How hard is it to smile back when people smile at you?

  • Either you slap that brat of yours, or I'll do it!

  • How come you asked Viv where he's working, but didn't ask me?

  • It has been almost two years, dude. I'm losing my patience now. If I do not get my DVDs back by end of this month, I reckon a large part of our friendship will be O-V-E-R. Am not kidding.

  • Ummm... I don't care, you see.

  • If you lost some weight, you'd be a total bombshell.

  • Would you quit your "leave the couple alone" thing? It really annoys "the couple", you know.

  • I want to like you. I'm trying.

  • It's the weekend! Don't just sit there. Get out of the house! Do something!

  • Lazybum, start playing squash again, will ya?

  • I think you think I like you, but I don't.

  • You wanna charge me 385 bucks for a haircut and perm? THREE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY FIVE BUCKS?? Dude, are you totally whacko-nuts?

  • Why do you call it a digital perm anyway? What the hell is digital about it?? Are you gonna photoshop perms on to my picture and charge me $385 for it??

  • I'm not really listening to you, you know.

  • You know how you blame everything that girls do on pms? Quit it, it's not funny.

  • Dude, look at yourself before you complain about the lack of female eye-candy.

  • You crossed the line. All it would have taken is a simple apology. And we'd still be friends.

  • Leave her alone. Please.

  • I know I shouldn't have yelled at you. But now it's too late, and ummm... I don't feel like apologising.

  • How could you just flick it off the net and claim it as yours??

  • I'm so glad that I never met you.

  • Dude, are you aware of what you have gotten yourself into?

  • Sometimes I wish you didn't read my blog.

  • Oh puh-leez.

  • I am nodding but I don't believe you.

  • I want to try and understand your viewpoint, but I just can't see how you could do what you did to your friend.

  • You'll never make it as a road-romeo. At least sing the correct lyrics. And in tune.

  • Why didn't you tell me before??

  • If you swore off my blog, why are you still here, reading this?

  • I work in an industry with a bit more of a soul than yours. I don't earn as much as you do. Can we remember that when we pick a restaurant?

  • Of all my friends' boyfriends, I approve of yours the most.

  • No, you do not have fat thighs. Sheesh.

  • Okay fine, you look fat. Happy now?

  • Quit now. Really. You deserve better.

  • I think your boyfriend is a bit racist towards me. The problem is - he covers it up with jokes so I can't really give it back to him.

  • No, I'm not holding any grudge against you. I have forgiven and forgotten. Really.

  • Give up the accent. Not real. Not cool.

  • Why are you guys so lazy?

  • Who the heck are you to tell me I have too many shoes and it's bothering the neighbours? Even my Mom won't dare say that to me, and you're just the security guard of my condo.

  • Damn you, I know it was you who complained to the security guard about my shoes. Watch out, old lady, I've got my eyes on you.

Ah, that was therapeutic indeed, though in a rather frightening way. Try it, it really brings out your most judgemental, hypocritical and ridiculous side.




37 comments:

Sakshi said...

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD..
And thank you for all the compliment :P
I will convey the other questions to the intended people :)

Clueless said...

Second! Wow, that hasn't happened in ages! ;)

You know, while this sort of thing is therapeutic for the blogger, it's a whole other thing for the bloggee. Er, the readers. Now everyone's probably wondering which sentences were meant for them. I was, at least sub-consciously. :P

But yeah, your blog, so if it takes some of the burden off your shoulders and made your heart a bit lighter, there's no problem with it at all. I might just try this out for myself too! ;)

The Soul of Alec Smart said...

Was fun reading this. Me thinking of adding more masala and putting something up. Thanks for giving fodder to a very dangerous idle mind.. Muahahahah!

soleil said...

Oh! Post bronze! I don't think I've been a single digit commenter before :p

Reading this post makes me wanna go and let out all that I didn't say too. Let's just say today was good up til I met a total stranger who totally annoyed me to the core. Sometimes I want to let it all out on my blog too but I'm afraid that the people reading it may get the wrong idea or they may think it's them when it's not haha. I guess you have to be careful with how you phrase it? What else do I have to take note of?

soleil said...

You've inspired me to blog about an incident that happened to me today haha! You're right, it is therapeutic :p

Nandya said...

HATS OFF!!!

Refreshingly honest and loved every bit of it...

The Black King said...

Ohh... yeah I want to say all of that to many people! Also, please copy-paste nandya's comment here.

wacko said...

dis is wht i thot n ya blog jst made me write it..
* y dontcha bother leavin a comment on ma blog even though ya knw i do visit ur blog n tk pains commentin on ur blogs*

no offense!

cheers!!

Bivas said...

It sure is refreshing...
I still remember how messy things got, but I am glad you guys found real happiness in each other.
if only this were true always...

Shek said...

thats a really good one. sakshi has gone sentimental...so havent had a good read in ages. Thanks Sayesha.

Sayesha said...

#Sakshi,
Compliment? What compliment? You do have fat thighs! Ahahahahaha!
ps: Don't worry, most Indian chicks do! :D

#Clueless,
Sheesh! Well, I hope none of the others are trying to figure out which ones are meant for them. 'Don't think, just read' is the motto of this kinda post. :)

#The Soul of Alec Smart,
You're welcome! :)

#Soleil,
That's the thing - if you blog about something annoying and the "annoyee" reads your blog, you're in trouble. That's why I say, consolidate everything, be as vague as you can, and hit 'Publish'! ;)

#Nandya,
Thanks! :) :)

#The Black King,
Hehehe... thanks :)

#Wacko,
Hahaha! Okay, since we're doing the whole honest thing, I'm not very comfortable reading blogs that are written in sms lingo (guess I'm not your generation). I can barely get past the first paragraph, so I really have nothing to comment, except yelling out 'GOLD!' (which is what I just did on your latest post) Hehehe! :P

#Bivas,
Sigh... yeah I agree...

#Shek,
Thanks! :)
ps: Sakshi has gone senti? Are we talking about the same Sakshi?? :O

Shek said...

have you seen sakshi's blogs lately!?!? She has gone senti...and there could be only one sakshi! More, and the world as we know it will end.

qsg said...

BTW - right there with ya - I hate them too! Totally hate those girls...! How dare they party without us? And then how dare they refuse the webcam party with us! Hmph! X-(

Di said...

Loved the idea soo much that i couldn't resist makin a list of my own.
Its right here!

And your right..it was therapeutic :)

Neihal said...

"Give up the accent. Not real. Not cool."

this one goes in my mind almost daily. :P

and I now know u got a perm :P

Sayesha said...

#Shek,
Hahahaha! I agree! :D

#QSG,
Let's have a party and not invite them! Hmmmph! :/

#Di,
Hehehe... like I said, the virus is spreading! :D

#Neihal,
//and I now know u got a perm :P

You think?? :O You think I have 385 dollars to spare on a haircut??? :O

Duhita said...

Aaahh, at times like this I really feel like blogging myself! But like you said, what if I run out of material, but oh wait...no one needs to really read it, right?:) Party? Who, what, when, where, why? Shucks....another one missed:p

PizzaDude said...

LOL @ "digital perm". Digital I believe!!! What's digital about a haircut ?? The only thing "digital" about hair is that either there is hair or there isn't any! :D
Hee Hee :D I still can't laughing at digital perm.

If I do not get my DVDs back by end of this month, I reckon a large part of our friendship will be O-V-E-R. Am not kidding.
I so agree on this! I am extremely possesive about my CD/DVD collection.

Neihal said...

hahahaha

u didnt ?

yeah 385 bucks is too much I agree. So no perm it is then :D

wacko said...

hmm..ahem ahem!
thanks for letting me know!!
i always wondered if i was a bad writer but anyways u have cleared it for once and all...and in anyways i did not mean to write it in sms lingo or whatever u may put it as...infact i hardly sms :D
aargh!!

P.S. hope u have actually seen ma efforts this time around when i actually am finding it very difficult to write the whole thing..as in the complete words

ewwww!!

creepa said...

Hahha..tht was great!:D My share:

"Hey lady! Im sure both ur girls wud make it to olympics sumday but cud u plz tell them tht racing in a metro doesnt include in the good manners!ahem!"

"look aunty! I really like playing with ur sweet cute daughter but plz try not so send her to my home wearing the 'whistling shoes'!Tht really irritates me!"

hehheh..enuff for the day :P!
Cheers!

shub said...

You are NOT fat. Stop fretting about it. :P
You know what else is therapeutic? New shoes :D

Rebellion said...

@ Sash & Gems
Though I hate to accept it but I'm with you two too. Mummmyyyyyyyyyy, I wanna cry :'( but as Sash said, I love them too :)

@ Gems
Forget them. We'd decided to have a webcam party. WHERE WERE YOU? x-(

Rebellion said...

LOL @ digital perm thing :P

How do we know said...

ummm.. you know, some of those lines could make it to the "Most innovative insults of the year."

LOVED IT!

Sakshi said...

@Syaesha - You made fun of my "thunder thighs"? Sigh! The ignorance!People die after glimpsing these :P

Harshi said...

I have such thoughts too! :-) I got some therapy reading yours :-))

Sayesha said...

#Duhita,
Hehehe... confused kanya, pehle blog start toh karo, let it take its own course then! :)
ps: Yes, there was another party, in India this time! :/

#Pizzadude,
//The only thing "digital" about hair is that either there is hair or there isn't any! :D

Haha! Or maybe its curls shaped like zeros and ones? :P
Like this! --> 0-0-0-0-0-0-0

#Neihal,
Nahin re... baal aise bhi nahin kaatne chahiye ki baal kam aur bank balance zyada kat jaaye! :/

#Wacko,
It's nothing to do with your writing. It's about readability. Some pple can easily navigate thru posts written in sms lingo (dis, da, wid, hv, ma, dere, y, u, etc.) but I just can't, that's all! :)

#Creepa,
Hahahaha! Yeah I've always wanted to say "Lady, would you please discipline your brat?" I think I'm gonna add that now! :P

#Shub,
Hahahahaha! Shoes always help! :D

#Rebellion,
Yeah I hate-love them (hate first)! :/

#How do we know,
Thanks! :P

#Sakshi,
I know! They die of shock! :D

#Harshi,
Heheh... you're welcome! :P

qsg said...

@Rebellion - sorry - i totally misunderstood - it was really late re when you pinged... let's have a party...Sash - are you game? Let's show them!

crazy said...

Oh my god !! That was exhaustive !!

david santos said...

Thanks for you work and have a good weekend

mythalez said...

whoa .. this is nice!
ever so often, while i was out, I wished I had an invisible laptop on which i cud type out all that i cudnt say out loudly ..
and u just remembered them all and blogged it .. cool :)

pradeep said...

Good one!
I'm trying to imagine what would have happened, had you actually uttered these words! :)

Cheeku said...

hey!

i wonder who annoyed u so much to get these solid thadka dialogues :D

sometimes, its jus good to keep our annoyance and irritation within ourselves and refrain from uttering it out, coz u never know, it may cause more damage than good :)

nice blog Sash...

:)
Cheeku

Angelsera said...

I see you have removed the anon commenting :)
was a good mental relief to read this post middle of my v loong day.
anyways commenting after a long time...hows things?

Lehmunade said...

I *liked* this one!

Sayesha said...

#QSG,
Am game! :D

#Crazy,
:P

#David,
I know you're just a spammer, but thanks! :)

#Mythalez,
Thanks! :)

#Pradeep,
Hehehe... :P

#Cheeku,
Precisely. What you can't say to the face can be collated into a vague-sounding post and put on the blog! :P

#Angelsera,
Haan yaar, too much porn spam was coming thru... how have you been? Will catch up soon! :)

#Lehmunade,
Hey long time no see! And thanks! :)