Thursday, March 22, 2007

The Koffee addiction

Youtube ki jai ho!

I have not watched a single episode of Koffee with Karan on TV, but I have seen most on Youtube. The best part about watching it on Youtube is that you can forward all the boring parts, and when you reach a part where everyone is laughing, you can go back to see who-said-what-that-was-so-funny.

I believe that I have seen every episode that's on Youtube, and many a times, I have been totally surprised with the presence of mind and sense of humour exhibited by the Bollywood people. And sometimes, I feel like I end up liking some of them (whom I couldn't stand earlier) just because of their witty answers in the show.

So here they are, my favourite moments from Koffee with Karan:

Karan: In those days, there were these alleged link ups that got written about that were completely untrue...
Hema Malini: Hmm, they were all true. Only true link ups were there.

Karan: What would you do if you woke up as Karan Johar?
Shah Rukh: Going by the rumours, I think I'm more likely to wake up next to Karan Johar, rather than as Karan Johar.

Karan: The three of you have come a long way since Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. Kajol's come back with Fanaa, and Rani's done a great job in Black. So what do you have to say about Kajol and Rani now?
Shah Rukh: Well, it's very nice to see that I have TWO blind heroines now!

Karan: Who comes to your mind when I say 'Miss wannabe'?
Zeenat Aman: 'Miss wannabe' who-will-be - Mallika Sherawat.

Karan: Ekta Kapoor keeps killing off the characters and bringing in new ones.
Smriti: Once I told Ekta this is too much, how can I keep crying all the time? And she said you have to cry as my TRP goes up when you suffer.

Abhishek (down on his knees): Karan, I'll do anything for the coffee hamper!
Preity (batting her eyelashes): Me too, Karan, me too!

Karan: How is it to be a parent?
Shah Rukh: I wouldn't mind walking around in Spiderman tights for the rest of my life just for Aryan.

Karan to Shahid (during the compatibility quiz): An actor Kareena would never want to work with?
Shahid: Oh my god, do I have to answer this?
Karan: Yes you do.
Shahid: Okay, John Abraham.
Kareena returns.
Karan: An actor you would never want to work with?
Kareena: What?? He answered that??
Karan: Yes he did.
Kareena: Shahid, you answered that??
Shahid (shrugs)
Kareena: Errr… John Abraham?
Karan: Correct!
Kareena: Shahid, I still can't believe you answered that!

Karan: Worst piece of astrological advice you gave anyone?
Shah Rukh: Go ahead - make Paheli.

Amrita Arora: I wanted to become a nun.
Karan: But darling that's not what you are doing right now…
Malaika: She is doing 'nun' of it. Let's put it that way now.

Karan: Your first impression when you first saw 'Dil Chahta Hai'?
Hrithik: I was depressed! I was thinking, "How did Farhan get this way? Where had he been these six years? I want to go there. What books he has read? What has he been doing?"

Karan: I found out that you waited tables when you were a student out of the country. How was the experience?
Fardeen: I took orders and when I didn't understand what people asked for, I'd just pretend to know and write something. The chef would come out and yell at me.

Karan: Do you think Preity's attractive as a woman? With or without make up?
Saif: Well, some mornings...

Karan: I read somewhere that the Prince of Morocco proposed to you.
Soha: We should ask my parents that because they'll know more than me. Sometimes proposals come that are filtered.

Karan: Would you like your sister to marry the Prince of Morocco?
Saif: Nice summer holiday…

Karan: 15 years ago what did you think Saif would end up as?
Soha: I thought he would end up as a guitarist in a small band.

Mallika: I love the way Mr. Amitabh Bachchan runs.
Abhishek: I want to go run in front of her. I want to see that look. Baby - I can also run you know!

Karan: Sorry Abhishek, women don't find you as sexy as they find your dad.
Abhishek: I know. (broods) But see, the thing is - he's married, I'm single! And I'm just a mere reflection of my father. So if you can't get him, I'm the perfect substitute.

Kareena: Rani and I belong to different genres altogether.
Karan: Achha? What are you trying to say - your genre is?
Kareena: (helpless laughter)
Karan: No no tell me, I would like to know. What is your genre?
Kareena: BAD films?

Karan: What do you have to say about Amisha Patel's comment that she would never do a role like in Jism, because her grandmother wouldn't approve of it?
Bipasha: I think Amisha doesn't have the physical attributes to carry out a Jism. I wouldn't cast her.

Karan: Can Mallika Sherawat be the girl next door?
Mallika: If you want the girl next door, GO next door.


rt said...

hey even i dint know that bollywood people have such sense of humor..
thanks for the enlightenment!! :)

Sudipta Chatterjee said...


ab to sone chandi ki bauchhar ho rahi hai!! :D

Sandew said...

OK so who is their script writer ?

Vaijayanta Chattoraj said...


Neihal said...

I havent seen the show....but let me check out you tube now.....

an observation:
how stupid is Mallika Sherawat?? I see her and I go UGH!! (mostly) I read her and I go wah (mostly again)!!!.....she should quit acting and start writing :P
and If she takes my advice I wont live long ;-P

t said...

Good collection. And remember this one?

KJ - What would you do if you woke up one morning and found out you were Aamir Khan?
SRK - I would the world that Shah Rukh is the better actor *grin*

THAT was some serious funny stuff! Bravo SRK!

Harsha said...

heard abt lots of cat fights happening on koffee with karan... I think its a platform made for bitching :)

Hitha's Space said...

Lovely post heres some more...

karan:Why dont u make bolloywood films?
mira nair:My funda in life is simple. I do not do anything that someone else does better than me.

karan to tabu:So are u really single tabu?
mira nair: Tabu why dont u ask him if he is single?
tabu: Are u single?
karan: I am single ready to mingle but sorry no tingle.

karan: Which item song would u have done better?
mallika: kareena kapoor's yeh mera dil from don
mallika: I am better

PizzaDude said...

I do remember watching the episode featuring Hema Malini. I laughed out like crazy when I heard her remark about untrue linkups :))

I too was quite surprised at the witty/funny answers given by many bollywood stars.

My favourite -
Karan: What would you do If you were offered Murder ?
Kareena: 5 crores!

satish said...

aah! you missed the funniest one.

Karan: If Shahrukh khan, kajol and you were in a plane which was about to crash, and there were only two parachutes on board which you had control over, what wud you do?

Meri Pyari Rani: .. (thinking)..

Kajol: Rani, I am family.

Rani: (thinking aloud) I'd probably stay behind and give the two parachutes to kajol and shahrukh, becus (and here comes the reson) ppl really want to see them together on screen.

chandu said...



Thisisme said...

KWK is quite a gud program..i watch it regularly on youtube or some other website like or ..those r gud for watching any indian telly programs..:)
but soemtimes, i do feel whether this is they(as in the stars) themselves or is this show as well scripted..?

the answer rani gave was damn cheesy! :-/
after that..SRK: arre itna kya sochna yaar..mein 2 parahcute le lunga..tum dono mere side mein chipak jaana ..simple :))
As much as i hate SRK, his wit is great..but at times too much prsnl!

Iday said...

I watch KWK and sometimes get the impression that they are well rehearsed "shows"...

Bivas said...

hv to wait too long for the files to buffer on you i say...Torrent Zindabaad :D have downloaded all episodes of this season so far
btw...the Preity+Abhishek episode was uncontrolably hilarious...
remember the buzzer round whr karan gives each of them a buzzer and wot follows next was...
Preity: Mine is Longer than yours(refrring to the antenna of the buzzer)
Aby Baby: 'You can't say that to a man!'

Sumana said...

when you watch this show dont you feel they all are this self praise brigade!

So far in this season Miss Mallika's was the best so far! I feel last season was better but then theres more to come this season.

Clueless said...

Oh, the Abhishek/Preity episode is one of my favourites. AB is so wonderfully campy, and they rib Karan so much! Fantastic stuff. I think during the buzzer round, Karan asked something like, "What would you say if you ran into an ex?" and Preity excitedly pressed the buzzer and said, "Can I have my things back?" and both she and AB dissolved into hysterical fits of laughter. So adorable!

SRK's answers are awesome! My SRK love has been fading since KANK, but he still manages to crack me up!

Tejal said...

hahaha...well dats KWK! hehe..n srk was grrreeaattt on season 2..gawddd...heheheh.. but some ppl lik mr.Bansaali r so NOT funny! even if they..well..try as hard as they can.. n wud u belive.. shahid n kareena got a perfect 10 ON 10 for compatibilty! Lord..havent seen dat happenin lately..
my 12th boards r goin on..but i cant miss a single episode! sheesh! cudnt they hav started a month later!!lol :P

Sakshi said...

Funny. Mostly a) I don't have to sit and watch Karan, b) all the non- interesting part from the interview is edited out and c) all the boring interviews are left out..YEAH!!
The only one I watched was AB-the father and son episode (mostly because it ran when I was on my last trip home).
I like to read about the show - that way i don't have to see KK :P

Ravi said...

Wow... Sayesha, how did u manage to note them all!! oof... quite a good list I should say. I never knew Mallika had such a wit. I esp liked her take on Amrita Arora and the last one (girl next door).

Dhaval Faria said...

Hello. this is Dhaval.. dropped to ur blog from Dhanno's blog.

really nice post.. I do watch Koffee with Karan sometimes. .but only selected ones.. the best quotes I liekd are..

Shahrukh khan wala.. abt dad and son relation.. wonderful quote.

and second one is last one.. Malika one.. well said. :)

Sayesha said...

Hehehe... me neither! You're welcome! :)


Awwww come on now! Give 'em some credit! :)


Hehehe... even I used to think she was dumb, but not so anymore :)

Oh yeah, that was classic SRK at his witty best! :)

Hahaha! The catfights don't happen ON the show, they happen AFTER it! :P

Hahahaha! :)

Yeah even I loved the Hema Malini one! That's why it's first on the list. Most honest answer ever! :)

Arre I didn't find it all that cool, thoda cheesy tha. If I were Rani, I'd have said, "Kajol and I will take the parachutes cos Shah Rukh is full of hot air anyway, he will make it down on his own." :P


I somehow don't think it is scripted yaar... some things are so obviously spontaneous! :)

Even I found Rani's reply cheesy. Read my reply to Satish to see what I'd have answered. :)

Really? I don't agree :)

Hahaha! Yeah those two were a riot! Remember when both went and sat on Karan's lap and did not let him talk, they were hilarious! :D

Well not really. I mean they have been invited because of some achievement. Why should they put themselves down on the show?

Yeah man! After KWK, I'm in love with SRK all over again! :D

Hahaha! Padhai kar le yaar! :)

Hehehe... thanks! :) Yeah the AB father and son interview was rocking! :D

Thanks! :)
Btw, the Amrita Arora one was by Malaika her sister, not by Mallika Sherawat. Hehehe :)

Welcome to Sayeshaz and thanks for commenting! :)

Rebellion said...

You bet Sash, some of them make you laugh for hours!! Haven't seen the Saify one but I think the best in last season was 'Abhishek-Preity'. It was hilarious to the extent. Cute & funny!! I also liked some answers by SRK to KJ in this season, esp the one where he said he'd woke up with KJ. Oh man, that was awesome!!! :)

satish said...

u think that i found that kool??

and now i know for sure that u believe tht emraan hasmi is my hero number one.

i know that i am modest, sympathetic, and in all very kool; but isnt ther any possibility tht i might have been sarcastic?!

Sayesha said...

Hahahaha! Yeah those two episodes rocked! :D

Uffff.... now that I went back to read your comment, I realised that you were probably sarcastic! :P
ps: Khush?
pps: Emraan Hashmi is your hero, I know! :P

Thisisme said...

also..sometimes, u end up disliking the actor coz of their talks at now..I CANNOT stand kareena kapoor n her bitchiness at all after what she said about my Johny baby
:-( she called him expresionless..huh watever!...but isnt she soooo full of overacting!
Anyways..kareena movies r outta my list after KWK :D:D

venki said...

koffee with Karan "GAY" johar is currently the bitchiest show on tele..yuk!!

Sayesha said...

Hehehe... in all fairness, she was kinda right, wasn't she? I mean why do we love John? Have you ever heard anyone say "John is such a fantastic actor I love him!"? :P

Sigh... there goes another one... I just don't get what Karan's being (or not being) gay has anything to do with anything... :|

Smi said...

Nice compilation,Sayesha!:)
I couldn't agree more with ya, that Karan being gay(or not)has anything to do with his movies or his show!
I haven't been watching the show, but I think I should start now!:)

PSV said...

ohh good!

very nice compilation

GuNs said...

LOL, I think Mallika Sherawat is the ONLY Indian actress with a real sense of humour !


How do we know said...


Sayesha said...

Thanks! :)

Thanks! :)

Hehehe... well, I'm sure others are funny too, they just play it safe on the show :)

#How do we know,