Wednesday, March 21, 2007

The Cup brimmeth over

Many of my non-Indian friends express shock at how long cricket matches are. Frankly speaking, even I find test matches too long and so I only watch one-dayers when India is playing. Of course, even one-dayers can seem long, and often, breaks are welcome. However, this year there are just too many annoying things interfering with the match.

So I decided to make a list of annoying things that I think this year's Cup is brimming over with.

  • The two extra A's in EXTRAAA INNINGS. It really gets to me. Sounds like a cross between Ekta Kapoor and a bad classical singer.
  • EXTRAAA INNINGS starting two full hours before the match, resulting in the experts having nothing to discuss but the microscopic details of the pitch for one full hour - the type of grass, the bugs, the fertilizers used, the name of the mali, and what not. Ufff!
  • Emraan Hashmi in the Gopal pan masala ad. Like he needed anything else to make him sleazier than he is.
  • Ahana Deol in the water filter ad with her big sis and amma. Not only does she look totally uncomfy before the camera, it's obvious amma is testing waters by putting daater number two before the audience.
  • Abhishek Bachchan in all three ads - the air-conditioner, the fridge and the mobile phone. He has THREE ads and ALL of them are dumb??!!
  • Preity Zinta in both the Santro and BSNL ads. What was she thinking?
  • Sachin Tendulkar in the biscuit ad. "Ab har ghar mein Sachin"? What the...?!
  • The tiger cartoon character that pops up whenever something significant happens. That chap doing bhangra is the most annoying because you can't even hear the commentary in the background.
  • The chick who hosts the 'One in a billion' contest. "I'm having a blast! Thank you Sony TV for this wonderful holiday!" it seems. Someone please remind her she's there ON WORK! Can she do something more significant and relevant than playing golf in her high heels?
  • Mandira Bedi. It's good to have a female perspective of the cricket World Cup, but not when the female perspective consists of bimbotic statements like "Ooh the Bangladeshi women love Charu Sharma!" and "Well, my clothes can fit in a matchbox." C'mon girl, you're sitting in a panel with experts - at least stop screaming "Yeay India!" every three minutes and be a tad objective.
Sigh. Give us a break from the breaks.



39 comments:

qsg said...

This is a first... a gold! :)

Well... I wish I could see a game or two - but based on your feedback on the breaks and the bad ads, maybe it's a good thing I only get to follow it on the net! :)

Can't stand Preity Zinta, Abhishek Bachchan, Sachin's voice, and Mandira Bedi... I don't think I am missing much! :)

Bivas said...

Well...ahem...Mandira has improved over the last edition though...
*am outta here*
:D

oxymoron said...

oh come on sayesha!
agreed they are annoying, but when india was being beaten by b'desh, these were the only light moments on an otherwise gloomy day!
though, the tiger cartoon for a six, the bhangra one, drove me nuts when gibbs hit 6 sixes in an over!

t said...

I so agree. And guess what, sometimes even ads are shown incomplete! Then they resume the match abruptly in which 2 balls in the over are already bowled!
And if the batsman hits 4 or 6 off last ball of the over, they dont even wait until the umpire signals what it is and suddenly go into ads! ugh! At such times, its just not cricket you see...

Anonymous said...

Totally same pinch Sash! My thoughts are absolutely similar!! Except for the 'one in billion' wali lady, don't remember it. And Hema in that filter ad, she actually sounds like "Yi trust yonly kent" She's irritating.. period!

Just hope India performs well against Bangladesh ***touch wood***

Anonymous said...

dont say nothing about emran hashmi. he is my real hero.

:D

Anonymous said...

look at the bright side... I still crack up watching the candyman ad with the kid and reversing ambassador car...

and too bad they dont show hema malini in the original ad for the water purifier... "I trest wonly kent!"... "Aar Wo purifier"...

~Reghu.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of breaks are u planning on taking one soon? I mean to take a deep breath before typing stuff? The brain starts losing cells if one does not provide it with enough oxygen you know!!

Anonymous said...

that tiger...*growl*...it makes me reach for my sake n geisha in a hurry.

crazybones...lemme tell you the rules here...if you don't like what you are reading, pls leave. no one is holding a gun to your head, y'know.

Sayesha said...

#Gems Bond,
Haha! Mat dekh, RT and I will give you the updates :)

#Bivas,
In all fairness, I have to agree :)

#Oxymoron,
Hahaha! Yeah I didn't see that match na... if I had, maybe I'd have been glad to have these breaks! :P

#T,
Oh yes, that too! Extremely annoying! :/

#Rebellion,
Oh you have to watch that chick!! :D

#Satish,
Sorry bhai saab! :P

#Reghu,
Hahaha! Actually you're right! That ad is simply AWESOME! :D

#Crazybones,
Sorry to disappoint you yaar, but no, no plans to take a breath or stop blogging. :)
Perhaps you need to take a break from this blog. It's quite apparent that reading it is making you lose brain cells! :O

Sayesha said...

#Fao San,
Arre welcome back! Didn't know you were still around! I'm still sulking that I didn't get to meet you when I was in India, but next time dekh lenge! :P
ps: Oh that damn tiger! :@

Anonymous said...

You know fao whatever you are san... I think this not pausing to breath thingy is contagious. Now look what you have done to your brain cells.. tch tch

Anonymous said...

Sayesha doll, like I said you are not breathing enough. See you cannot even read a simple sentence. Let me try to explain it again... It was your brains cells (and now fao san's) I was concerned about.

Anonymous said...

they didnt say u wud be wearing a saree to the beach...else i wudda come along with jane! hrumph!

Anonymous said...

and in case brains cells not getting enough oxygen and you couldn't figure it out... that anonymous was me

Anonymous said...

what does breathing ve to do with it? for some, craziness is in their bones, crazybones.

Sayesha said...

#Crazyzone,
Wow you must lurrrve my blog, you just keep coming back. Can't have enough eh? Awwww! :)

#Fao San,
Wot?? You'd have come if you'd known about the sari? *offended look* :(

Iday said...

In one of the matches, the keeper attempted and stumping and dislodged the bails. Set Max jumped on the opportunity and aired two ads before the leg umpire walked up to the stumps and set them right :)

Soo - we'll have a picture in picture kind of setup, where we seea ads in the big picture with the match "uninterrupted" in the smaller box.

How i miss the days i watched cricket in ESPN-StarSports :(

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm... Fao san child, obviously you haven't had a single decent relationship. Breathing has everything to do with it. Such innocence is rare in this world. Now go away play with your dolls and let me speak to sayesha.

Anonymous said...

Oooooh Sayesha!! Is that the best you could come up with? I bet even that taxed those dying brain cells a lot. And of course I love your blog... it has the distinction of actually making even someone like me look intelligent. Well done I say... very well done indeed!!

Anonymous said...

alrite, sari n maybe some ogling at viv. there! happy now? won't let a girl ve her lil secrets, will you? hrumph!

i come back after aeons n walk smack bang into a blog scuffle...which wasn't even initiated by me! i didn't know my own powers! *delited!*

crazy, there is nothing "decent" abt any of my relationships. now curl your tail n vamoose...unless you wanna get yer oxygen-choked paws dirty.

Sayesha said...

#Iday,
Sheesh! That'll be the day man! :(

#Crazybones,
I would like to ignore you, but not before giving you a piece of my oxygen-depleted dead brain -- making personal attacks on others do not make you the smarter one. You obviously have a complex, which will not be sorted out by criticising others, you gotta sort it out yourself, buddy. I wish you all the best. I really do.

#Fao San,
//alrite, sari n maybe some ogling at viv. there! happy now?

Ah I knew it! There had to be a hidden agenda! :D

Thisisme said...

hey sayesha
thankfully for my own good :) , i avoid cricket at all costs now..so m not really tuned into all of this much :)
n abt mandira..less said the better :| i jst dont like her..she n her big stupid mouth :|!
for me..more than the cricket..i enjoy watching ads and also that tiger cartoon doin the bhangra:-))!

Neihal said...

What is with that Extraaaaaaaaaa
jyada ho gaya kya :P

The day Ms. Mandira Bedi took a seat in the panel, I knew cricket will never be same again....give me one good reason for her being there...we have many women cricket player....and most of them look and dress better than her.

Chal that makes me happy...I am missing the matches but atleast I dont have to jhelo these Breaks. :)

venkat said...

I dont give a damn abt the breaks and stuff..but wat really really gets me is mandira item..i do go by the cliche.."less she wears the better"..but not on a cricketing panel u dumb fcuk!! we guys are already mad/excited/head over heels abt cricket ..we dont need that extra spice!! I also go by the cliche.."the less she speaks the better"..so mandira item..shut the fcuk up !!!

-V

Bivas said...

@Rebellion: //Just hope India performs well against Bangladesh
Well that match was long over n they did give an outstanding performance...or was it a standing-out performance ;-)
@CrazyBones: Get well soon Maamu! :-)

Mohan Kodali said...

Even hutch has gone mad with that loooong ad teaching 'stuff' to foresters :O

Still, ads like the one in which the child says ' ab lag gaya' bring back smile on ur face during the matches like india vs bangladesh

Sakshi said...

@Sayesha-
Bhai uss aadmi ko kopeche me leke jana mangta. Too irritating.

That said.. I loved the post. made me think of the past matches, when I would gear up and watch everything. The pregame, match and post game analysis and then move to another channel and watch the match all over :P
And Ps. Most guys are not complaining about the last one :)

@Crazybones- I hope whatever you are suffering from is curable.

satish said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
GuNs said...

I dont know about you but I used to think Mandira was hot !!
[:-P]

-PeAcE
--WiTh
---GuNs

Pravin said...

come on! some of us watch cricket on the telly to catch a glimpse of mandira bedi :P

Vaijayanta Chattoraj said...

In this world cup there isnt a single ad that is worth watching.

Other ads are: -

1) Motorola.
2) Nokia.

Keshi said...

LOL!

Keshi.

Sayesha said...

#Thisisme,
Arre kabhi complete match dekho, the tiger will drive you nuts! :O

#Neihal,
//give me one good reason for her being there...we have many women cricket player....and most of them look and dress better than her.

Arre I was just discussing this with Viv yesterday, and he said that putting Mandira up there was never to get a female perspective of cricket, it was merely to add a dash of glamour. Sheesh. :/

#Venki,
Oh boy, someone's pisses off at Ms Bedi! :P

#Bivas,
Hehehe... I think Rebellion meant SL, meri tarah woh bhi kabhi kabhi zyada excited ho jati hai, no control on what fingers type! :D

#Chandu,
Hahaha! Yeah that ad is HILARIOUS! Every time I watch it, I go LOL, esp at the way the kid says "Ab lag gayaaaaa!" :D

#Sakshi,
//The pregame, match and post game analysis and then move to another channel and watch the match all over :P

Sigh... woh bhi kya din they... :)

//Most guys are not complaining about the last one :)

I'm sure I'm sure :)

#GuNs,
Of course she was hot. She still is! But she's a misfit on that panel. It may be my imagination, but sometimes I see Charu Sharma wince right after she says something :P

#Pravin,
I'm sure you do! :)

#Vaijayanta,
Hey the candy ad with the kid and the car is a good one! :)

#Keshi,
:D

Lalit Singh said...

since i am watching the matches online the ad that pops up every now n then is Shaadi.com

i think its shabana azmi who's given the voice over... m so sick of her voice

Emram Hashmi n Gopal Pan masala hahahaha :P

Unknown said...

I was wondering if anyone else noticed the gopal ad

Hilarious post....

Strider said...

someday i am gonna strangle that tiger cartoon! :-/

anand said...

Liked your blog. I put together a poll for the lamest cricket world cup commercials. Check it out: http://thatslifeinindia.blogspot.com/2007/03/stupid-ads-cricket-world-cup-2007.html

Sayesha said...

#Lalit,
You mean you're watching shaadi.com ka ad, and the match pops up every now and then, hai na? :P

#Guruprasad,
Ohhh it's the most annoying ad ever! :/

#Strider,
Meri taraf se bhi! :D

#KookieEater,
I read that post of yours - hilarious! Esp the way you've described the BSNL ad! :D