The funny bone

The dude may have thought that it would be great fun to break a bone right after the wedding, but it's so not fun to hear the same old "domestic violence" jokes about the fracture a million times over. Just yesterday he told me of the four hundred and thirty-fifth person who cracked the same joke. So-funny-ha-ha. I think the next time somebody grins and says to me, "Oh dear, what did you do to him? Giggle giggle!", I'll just say "Yes I hit him with a belan." with a straight face. Or in Russel Peters' words, "Somebody gonna get-a-hurt real bad!" :/

I mean come on, really, give the guy a break. He already has to put up with me making bad puns about the fracture - case in point being the previous statement. Sheesh. But when you see a man who instead of being out playing on the ground on weekends has to take a break (double sheesh!) from the sport that caused the injury, and resort to watching Mandira Bedi talk about how her clothes can fit into matchboxes (seriously, who put her back on TV??), you just wanna crack (triple sheesh!) any joke to cheer him up, even if it is a bad one.

Fortunately, the public and I are not the only ones cracking the jokes.

I'm washing dishes and he pops by with a grin on his face.
Viv - Hey, I'm sorry I can't give you a hand in the kitchen. Ha ha!

At the hospital, the surgeon takes out a digital camera and starts furiously clicking pictures of Viv's x-ray with the titanium screws.
Viv - Look look, he's taking photos of my x-ray!
Me - Hmmm... I wonder why.
Viv (damn excited) - Doctor, why are you taking photos? Is it like a unique case or something??
Doctor (with a straight face) - No. It's just a bad fracture.
Viv (thought bubble) - Darn!

I break a fingernail peeling garlic cloves.
Me - Darn, I wish you could help me with this. I hate peeling garlic. Next time I'm buying the peeled ones from Mustafa.
Viv - Mustafa carries peeled garlic??
Me - Yeah, don't you remember? We've bought it a couple of times.
Viv - Oh yeah, I remember now! The clean-shaven ones, right?

Viv and a friend are conversing over MSN.
Friend - Sorry for the slow responses. I'm typing with only one hand.
Viv - Hey, me too! (He had not broken [Quadruple sheesh! I think I need help!] the news to her yet.)
Friend - Why are you typing with only one hand?
Viv - Why are you typing with only one hand?
Friend - Oh I'm eating an apple. Crunch!
Viv - Oh I broke a bone. Crunch!
Me - :O

Of course, then there's the other joke of whether he will start beeping when he passes through the metal detectors at airports. Well, that one... we just have to wait and see.

But just in case, I've asked him to carry his x-ray along to the airport. :P