Saturday, March 17, 2007

The funny bone

The dude may have thought that it would be great fun to break a bone right after the wedding, but it's so not fun to hear the same old "domestic violence" jokes about the fracture a million times over. Just yesterday he told me of the four hundred and thirty-fifth person who cracked the same joke. So-funny-ha-ha. I think the next time somebody grins and says to me, "Oh dear, what did you do to him? Giggle giggle!", I'll just say "Yes I hit him with a belan." with a straight face. Or in Russel Peters' words, "Somebody gonna get-a-hurt real bad!" :/

I mean come on, really, give the guy a break. He already has to put up with me making bad puns about the fracture - case in point being the previous statement. Sheesh. But when you see a man who instead of being out playing on the ground on weekends has to take a break (double sheesh!) from the sport that caused the injury, and resort to watching Mandira Bedi talk about how her clothes can fit into matchboxes (seriously, who put her back on TV??), you just wanna crack (triple sheesh!) any joke to cheer him up, even if it is a bad one.

Fortunately, the public and I are not the only ones cracking the jokes.


I'm washing dishes and he pops by with a grin on his face.
Viv - Hey, I'm sorry I can't give you a hand in the kitchen. Ha ha!

At the hospital, the surgeon takes out a digital camera and starts furiously clicking pictures of Viv's x-ray with the titanium screws.
Viv - Look look, he's taking photos of my x-ray!
Me - Hmmm... I wonder why.
Viv (damn excited) - Doctor, why are you taking photos? Is it like a unique case or something??
Doctor (with a straight face) - No. It's just a bad fracture.
Viv (thought bubble) - Darn!

I break a fingernail peeling garlic cloves.
Me - Darn, I wish you could help me with this. I hate peeling garlic. Next time I'm buying the peeled ones from Mustafa.
Viv - Mustafa carries peeled garlic??
Me - Yeah, don't you remember? We've bought it a couple of times.
Viv - Oh yeah, I remember now! The clean-shaven ones, right?

Viv and a friend are conversing over MSN.

Friend - Sorry for the slow responses. I'm typing with only one hand.
Viv - Hey, me too! (He had not broken [Quadruple sheesh! I think I need help!] the news to her yet.)
Friend - Why are you typing with only one hand?
Viv - Why are you typing with only one hand?
Friend - Oh I'm eating an apple. Crunch!
Viv - Oh I broke a bone. Crunch!
Me - :O

Of course, then there's the other joke of whether he will start beeping when he passes through the metal detectors at airports. Well, that one... we just have to wait and see.

But just in case, I've asked him to carry his x-ray along to the airport. :P



22 comments:

'jo said...

aah! finally i get to be the first one..to comment..he ha ha.....
mmm.....immediately...after the wedding...broken bones....can be pretty interesting scenario to contemplate...
none the less wishing Viv a speedy recovery...
(see i didn't crack any of those inane jokes...i am a good girl!)

satish said...

Chilver.

Naah. I want Titanium. Viv praji, abhi nikal ke dene kee jaroorat nahin hai. But I am really flattered.

~Sattu

chandu said...

lol @airport.

Neihal said...

hahahahaha
The airport thing has kept me wondering as well....I have decided to go to the hospital and ask a follow up case....which will mean I'll be banned from the whole area....so will you and Viv sort that out soon.....please :)

Vaijayanta Chattoraj said...

Oh my God! He must be feeling very uneasy recently! Pray that he gets well soon.

Iday said...

How long will he have to carry all the metal??? I mean, isn't there a time line for this???

Sakshi said...

Hhahaha.
Dono PJs marte raho :P
And his finger permenantly screwed?

Basanti said...

Aww! Viv, pls take care of your hand and Bhai's temper! :)

And seriously, let me know if you need a good lawyer for domestic violence! :D :D :D

*hides from Bhai*

Anyway, Viv, take care of our Bhai's temper, we cannot afford to have an angry bhai around! :-)

Ok - am not making any sense.. I need to go sleep! :)

Sowmya said...

"He can feel it in his bones"

Bones?Sure?

I thought it should be "He can feel it in his screws" :P

Ok, bad ones but hey, that one was better than your PJs :D

-Sowmya

bellydancer said...

Haha... the metal detectors won't start beeping la! I have gone through quite a few of them and nothing happened so he can always quote me if anyone jokes about that! (",)

oxymoron said...

hey,
i guess lots of ppl wondering abt the airport detectors. you have to blog abt it when it happens!

ps:
get well soon viv!

Koi Pahailee said...

have a safe trip :P

Janefield said...

ROFL!!! viv is da coolest jokester around :) the man might temporarily have a broken bone, but he is sure has a funny bone, and looks like that won't be broken, ever! :))

get well soon!

Thisisme said...

hahhahaha...u both sure can give a competition to each other in terms of jokes :))
n clean shaven garlic :O :)):))
i never thot of them on those levels..:))

Sumana said...

Hey,

hillarious!!

By the way the metal detectors at the airport are not going to beep how do I know...well my better half is screwed too...ha ha ha.

I meant he broke his knee while playing cricket and the doctors had to screw it together.

Angelsera said...

Hey gotta tell u this..
had met up w bunch of batchmates on Packy's bday..n well your wedding came up...n I mentioned the fracture and immediately the 'metal detector' joke started :)

Sayesha said...

#Jo,
Hahaha! Ok ok good girl, I've conveyed your wishes :)

#Satish,
Hai raam, beemaar aadmi ke metal par bhi teri nazar hai? Chhee chhee! :O

#Chandu,
:)

#Neihal,
Hehehe... so far looks like it won't beep. :)

#Vaijayanta,
Thanks! :)

#Iday,
It's upto him whether he wants another surgery to remove the metal. Some people choose not to, so it stays with them forever.

#Sakshi,
:P Screws will probably be permanent, but whether finger is permanently screwed or not we'll know only after physio is over...

#Basanti,
Sheesh! :@

#Sowmya,
:|

#Bellydancer,
Hahaha! I was actually gonna ask you - the only other metal person I know! :)

#Oxymoron,
I will :)

#Koi Pahailee,
Thanks, but no trip yet, phew! :)

#Janefield,
Thanks on his behalf! :)

#Thisisme,
Woh paagal aadmi hai yaar! :P

#Sumana,
Oh boy you too! :O

#Angelsera,
Hahaha! See, so predictable! :D

Bivas said...

lol at the MSN one... =))

Sayesha said...

#Bivas,
Same pinch! :D Actually, first I went :O and then LOL! :D

Rebellion said...

hehehe, good ones. He's funny man! Why didn't I get to hear his jokes in person?!!?!! Tell him I'm upset on him for this :P

Btw, hows he feeling now? Aur kitne din ka aaram or probably kaid hai? :P Poor him, I know how it is like to see that bedi on screen instead of going to play the game out!!!

Sayesha said...

#Rebellion,
Hahaha! Pehli mulaqat mein asli rang kaise dikhata tujhe? :D

He's better now, the stitches are out, needs to do some exercise (tera wala exercise!) to recover completely. :)

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