Now and then

Maine Pyar Kiya.

"I fell in love."

It is true. It was a movie I fell in love with once upon a time.

And last weekend, there I was, sitting with my huge bowl of salad and fruit cocktail, watching it to take a break from my assignments and laughing harder than I had laughed when I saw the Russel Peters video.

PART 1

Long ago, MPK was a movie I could identify with. I could feel the struggle of the two lovers. Nothing seemed sappy or tacky about it. It was the movie of the year. But today, perhaps it doesn't hold that meaning for me any more. In fact, I laugh at scenes that once made me go "Awwww..."

And here's why instead of a love story, now it seemed like a stand-up comedy. My analysis, organised by categories.

Character

I could not believe that once upon a time I'd actually wanted to be like Suman's character! Long hair in two plaits, girly salwar kameez, the works. And she’s a pretty one, no doubt about that. Just that her kind of ‘pretty’ is not ‘in’ anymore. In those days, you could be a Suman and get away with it. In today’s world, you gotta be hot too. In fact, you gotta have a Suman's values, an Aishwarya’s face and a Shilpa Shetty’s body to make it. In those days, if you were hot, you were probably the vamp without values (though the vamp Seema in MPK was not hot at all by today's standards). Back then, Suman was the ‘perfect girl’. Today, the character would be considered ‘aunty material’.

And then, suddenly, you wonder what happened to Suman’s righteous values when in the opening scene, within two minutes, she uses a cane to strike her father because he was late for class? And she hit him so hard that the twenty odd kids around them winced! Errr… that was not even cute, dude.

And what was with that ultra-ultra-ultra sweet voice? Sounded so cute back then, now hearing it makes me giddy! :/

Costumes

Oh the fashion of those days seems so hilarious now. Exactly how high was Bhagyashree wearing her jeans in the "Tum ladki ho" song? And what's with those flowery motifs on the salwar kameezes? And the letter 'S' embroidered on her table tennis costume? Sheesh.

And all that long hair, which she preferred to keep open even in the kitchen! I wanted to say, “Girl, please tie your hair before you enter the kitchen! Looking beautiful is important, but hygiene when cooking is more important!”





I laughed at how the DVD cover showed her in a sari, clinging to a bare-chested Salman's knees. Why the hell did she agree to a pose like that?? And I'd never really noticed that Sallu had so much chest hair in Maine Pyar Kiya! Guess he got rid of it since he started featuring topless in all his new movies.







I laughed at myself and how crazy my friends and I were about the 'FRIEND' cap. Now that I think of it, it doesn’t make any sense! If your cap says ‘Dude’, understood you’re trying to be the dude, but if it says ‘Friend’, exactly whose friend are you proclaiming yourself to be? You can be a friend to someone, but how can you be a friend by yourself? Unless you wanna project yourself as a friend to the whole world by wearing that cap, which is even more ridiculous!

I laughed at how tackily dressed and heavily made-up the doodhwali was. Never in the history of India must have been a doodhwali like that!

Okay why did Prem buy Suman an ugly wedding dress with puffy sleeves for her birthday? And why on earth did the camera pan on the naked statue on the terrace when Prem gave her the sexy dress? Eeeks. And why did the sexy dress come with a large sheet of aluminium foil which she used to cover herself once she tried on the dress? If you wear a sexy dress, aren’t you supposed to show it off? And why was Prem wearing a diesel mechanic uniform in the song?

The hairstyles of the 80s in the 'Dil deewana' song were SO hilarious! The guys with their long hair almost touching their shoulders. The girls with the dhoti-salwars and the top knots. I couldn’t stop laughing.

Oh puhleez! scenes

When Prem and Manohar are smoking, and Prem’s mother walks in, Manohar sucks all the cigarette smoke back in! Errr.... And Prem's mother could not sense the smell of cigarette smoke?! Not to mention that she was actually fooled by Suman into thinking that it was the fire from the aarti that had the ‘burning smell’.

Take the one where Suman wants her love letter delivered by the pigeon to the factory inauguration where Prem is. The smartass lazybum pigeon take the letter but does not fly towards Prem. Instead, he sits in the car, which the driver is taking to the site of the inauguration, and without wasting time or effort, efficiently delivers the letter! Even to reach Prem, the damn kabootar did not fly, but instead deposited its ass on the drinks tray which would eventually reach Prem. I was laughing my guts out this time, but back in the old days when I was watching the movie for the first time, I'd gone "Wow... how romantic... to send a letter through a pigeon..."

I was spotting things that I had never spotted before. Like the one where Prem wants to take Suman boating, but she's swamped with work. Why on earth does he load like 30 bottles of Thums Up in his car when he's just going on a date with one girl and not on a joint family picnic??

I laughed at how Prem offered to close his eyes when he was applying balm on Suman's ankle when she sprained it. I laughed at how Suman only allowed him to apply the balm if he closed his eyes. I laughed at how Suman asked him to open his eyes later because she felt ‘she could trust him’.

And oh oh oh, Prem and Jeevan actually tried to sort out their disagreement by having a boxing match in the middle of a birthday party???

Remember the silly couple in the other room trying to 'steam things up' when Jeevan dragged Suman to his room at Seema’s birthday party? That was so funny! Those two looked like complete losers.

I laughed at how silly Manohar's comic routine in the movie was.

"Walkman = Aapke chalne wala aadmi"

"Main kya karoon ram mujhe bhutta mil gaya!"

"Yeh zukfen hain tumhaari ya resham ka jaal
Kitne khushnaseeb hain woh choohe jinhone katre tumhaare baal"

Remember the kabootar's 'revengeful eyes' at Jeevan when he's clinging from the cliff? Hahahaha! They even show the kabootar's thought bubble with video streaming!

And in the last scene, even the kabootar gets a kabootari. And how do we know it’s a kabootari? She’s got sindoor on her head!!! I’m not kidding you!!! Go and watch it again if you don't believe me!

Songs

I loved the album of the movie, I loved almost every song, especially 'Aate jaate'. And I remembered every single song in the Antakshari sequence (in order! I still do, I think), and how I thought 'Mere rang mein' was such a great 'original' song (having never had heard 'The final countdown'). Sheesh. What a let-down.

In the song, Prem sings:

"Dono taraf benaam si uljhan, jaise miley ho dulha dulhan."
("An unnamed dilemma on either side, as if the groom and the bride have just met")

Hahahaha! These days do we really have the ‘just-met dulha dulhan’ situation anymore? :D

I laughed at how they tried to pull off the silhouettes of two random people dancing to the title song, as Salman's and Bhagyashree's. Are you freakin' kidding me?

Does anyone remember how adorable SP Balasubramiam sounded when he said, "Dhat tere ki!" and "Come soon yaar!" in his heavy accent in the 'Aaja shaam hone aayi' song?

During the dil deewana song, the red holi colour conveniently lands exactly on the parting of Suman's hair, to represent the sindoor. And so out of nowhere, in the park, appears a mandir so she can do her pati-parmeshwar puja, now that she’s got the sindoor in place.

During the same song, Prem falls in the water. Next thing, we see him hiding behind a tree while Suman hands him his trousers. So are we saying that he took off all his clothes and waited for them to dry, and so he was stark naked in a public park for at least an hour or so??

What was with the apples lying on the hill during the 'Kabootar ja ja ja' song, and Suman getting turned on by them rolling down the hill??

And what's with the 'Tum ladki ho, main ladka hoon' song? Duh! The lyricist surely belongs to the 'State the obvious' club!

During the ‘dil deke dard-e-muhabbat liya hai’ song, Prem actually had a dafli with a cutout of her face on it??!! So in effect, he was slapping her throughout the song?? :O Sheesh. That's what you get for being too pati-vrata. :/


-----INTERMISSION (most guys will leave the theatre now and never return)-----


PART 2

And here's the stuff that did not make me laugh. Stuff that I still found very cute. Stuff that brought back great memories.

Salman was cute in those days, wasn't he? Scrawny, yes, but kinda cute too.

Some of the 'moments' in the movie were SO adorable! Remember how Prem blushed when he realised his mom knew all about his secret love affair with Suman? And his exasperation when he finally thought she was free to go out with him, but she had to stay back and get her mehndi done? Remember how badly he wanted her to say "I love you" but she kept bhaav-khaoing and saying things like "Abhi mood nahin hai!"

During the 'Mere rang mein' song, I thought them kissing with the glass thingie between them was kinda cute. (I just hope it was an original idea!)

One of my favourite scenes where I found him simply irresistible was when has to leave for work on her birthday. He puts his arms around her neck and says, "Mujhe mat bhejo?" She smiles and then he asks her, "Jaldi aaun?"

Oh that was adorable!

Some of the dialogues have been imprinted in my mind forever and ever.

"Aajkal darwaze par knock karke aane ka zamana nahin raha."
"Aajkal darwaze ko lock karke rakhne ka bhi zamana nahin raha."

"Ladkiyan hoti hi aisi hain, pagal!"

"Dost toh woh hota hai, jisse baat karne ka, milne ka mann karey... dekhte hi pagey 'That's my friend!'"

"Dosti ka ek usool hai, mister. No sorry, no thank you."

"Everyone falls in love with someone... somehow..."

"Cigarette smoking is injurious to health, sehat ke liye hanikarak hota hai."
"Udaas hona, yun akele mein rona, is injurious to health, sehat ke liye hanikarak hota hai."

"Dosti ki hai, nibhaani toh padegi hi."

"Hota hai hota hai, ab hum jaake sota hai."

"Aaj kal marriage season chal raha hai, meri shaadi kahin aur kara de."

- "I love" what??
- Abhi mood nahin hai!

"Ma, tujhe meri koi fikar wikar nahin hai kya? Tuney meri taraf kabhi gaur se dekha hai? Main jawaan ho chuka hoon. Meri shaadi waadi karani hai ya nahin? In maamlon mein dheel nahin deni chahiye. Aaj kal ka zamana nahin raha ki bachon ko chhoot deni chahiye. Waise toh main kaafi shareef hoon, lekin kahin mere pair wair phisal gaye toh?"

"Woh sari salwar kameez toh bilkul na pehne, pehne toh sirf jeans, skirts, midis, minis...ufff"

"Aaj ma ne mujhse kuchh kaha... kya khayaal hai?"
"Aaj ma ne mujhse bhi kuchh kaha."


"Yeh pyaar nahin toh aur kya hai? Tum hansti ho, toh main hansta hoon. Tum roti ho, toh main rota hoon."

Sigh... the good old days when simple things did to us what nothing can today.

No matter how silly they sound, they can move us. And we remember them forever.

Like this one thing from the movie which I don't think I can ever forget.

Remember the little heart with the band-aid on it that said 'I love you so much it hurts.'?