Monday, March 20, 2006

Making fun out of nothing at all

Some time ago, I mentioned in a post that I am gonna try and help the new management in my company put the 'pub' back in publishing.

I also explicitly mentioned that I was not referring to getting drunk at work.

One of my over-zealous editors, however, did exactly that. Well, almost.

This story involves my three editors, a lot of emails and me. I have four editors reporting to me, three girls and a guy. But one of the girls is too new to be part of our crazy Friday emails. I believe that in a serious environment such as the workplace, you need to establish credibility before you can start playing the fool. And G3 has not yet seen enough yet to be ready to be startled by the not-so-dignified side of her boss.So this thread was between the four of us. Let's call my editors B1, G1 and G2.

Sometimes life can get so boring, that you need to step in and do something about it. You have to create 'fun' out of nothing. Or out of whatever materials you find lying around. Like a Macintosh, for example.
Sometimes, a crazy spurt of emails is the most happening thing that happens in my office on Fridays. And most of the time, it gets to insane levels, with 'Reply all's flying all over the place.

And this time, the issue was a serious one.

It all started with a can of beer.

Okie, I gotta introduce the origin of the beer first.

So last week, we were clearing our storeroom and sorting through old manuscripts and packing them in boxes to transport to the warehouse. They needed some hefty, muscular guys to help out with the more difficult aspects of the work, such as carrying the heavy boxes around and climbing up to funny places, etc. But they had to do with what they had at hand - the male editors. I was asked to volunteer B1, and he was only too happy to 'do something different at work'.
Later, the manager sent out a 'thank you' email to all the editors who helped, and their bosses. B1 did a 'Reply all' and jokingly remarked, "That's all? I thought we were getting beer for all the hard work?"

"B1's so funny. Hahaha!" We went.

And whoa, next thing I see is the following email from the manager. (Okay, I already like her, even though I don't drink beer.)

Hi guys, You asketh, and we giveth. Beer is in the fridge.. 12 cans, so more than enough for other swillers in the house.. enjoy!

Never before had employees' wishes been granted so quickly in my office. I immediately shot an email to my team, and this is the result:

Sayesha - Whoa B1! Pray asketh for other things too! :P

G1 - hahaha ya can we have ice cream?

Sayesha - Err... I was thinking salary hike and shorter working hours, but we'll settle for realistic targets first! ;)
G1 - yeah i'm a realist :P

So there he was, B1, happy to have his can of beer, but not knowing what to do with it. After all, you're not allowed to drink during office hours.

That was the history of the can of beer. And now the real story begins. So last Friday, this is how it all began - with an unappetising email:

G1 happened to send us a forward - a joke sent to her by someone.

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever. At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral...I'm a gynecologist." That's when the proctologist fainted. PS : proctologist - doctor specialising in diseases of the rectum and anus.

My reaction, and the subsequent emails:

- Oh gosh! :O
My qn is - Why do people become proctologists? I mean I'm sure glad that we have docs of every kind, but are there really trainee docs who say "I wanna be a proctologist. That's my area of interest."?

G1 - For sure that field must be the least competitive ;P
B1 - sorry...a little off topic, but just dying to know......has anybody tried adding beer to hot coffee? nice or not? ok, relate a bit...will i have to visit a proctologist if i try that?
Sayesha - Are you okay, B1??? Need to take the day off?? :)

B1 - No, this is a serious question. Coz i've got this can of beer sitting at my table for days, n i can't drink it conspicuosly either in the office or at home, so i thot of mixing it with my coffee...incognito. gonna try. Dun tell anyone I'm consuming alcohol, k?

Sayesha - Mix it with something cold for heaven's sake! Or just pour it into an opaque cup and drink it! :D

G2 - i suppose it'll be similar to coffee with liquer...:D
Just try not to breathe into anyone's face, ok?!

B1 - oh tastes like fermented, sour coffee! yeeucks!!!
Sayesha - Hahahahaha! Thanks for the show, B1. Let's have one every Friday, shall we? :D

B1 - Ok, G2 says she'll try red wine into hot chinese tea next Friday!!!
Sayesha - Oh wow. B1 has plans! :) G1, any performances coming up? ;)

G1 - err once i made durian chocolate muffins... by accident i could try to make that again -- on purpose this time ;P

(Durian is a fruit that smells so pungent that it is prohibited by law in Singapore to carry it in buses and trains. A cut durian anywhere in a 1-m radius around me can make me almost pass out. The mere thought of durian chocolate muffins was enough to put me off chocolate for the rest of my life.)

- Durian choc muffins?? Hahahaha! :D
Yeah, let's make another round of the durian chocolate muffins. As B1's farewell gift to take to Taiwan. They can be used as biological weapons! :D

(B1's going to Taiwan for some army training thingie.)

B1 - yayaya....poison me before i go. i'll eat them n become the biological weapon MYSELF! seriously tho, G1, it sounds really nice. can make? i wanna try.... maybe it'll be a great success, then we can set up stall.

G1 - hahaha ok i'll make some muffins one of these wkends, but no funny flavours :P only gd old-fashioned muffins. Pls select: Cranberry+ Choc chips or Banana + Choc chips dun wanna waste time making something that no one's gonna eat! :P

akan datang... (Malay for 'coming soon')

Sayesha - I vote for CC over BCC! :P ~ ~

G2 - can have all in one?
~slurp :P
CC for me...banana makes my digestive system work really well..hiak hiak!

Sayesha - This is unbelievable - the transition from a rather unappetising topic to such a yummy one! I desperately need to use this in my blog as a post title "How to cunningly con an unsuspecting colleague into making choc chip muffins". No identities will be revealed. Please grant me IP rights! :P

- hahahaa nah it was purely out of the goodness of my heart plus sympathy for poor B1, who sounds like he really neeeeeeeds a muffin ;)

So that was the end of the emails, and time to finally get some work done before we wrapped up for the weekend.

That same evening, one of the image libraries I buy images for my magazine from, sent me a little corporate gift. Guess what the gift was?

An oven mitten and a spatula.

I immediately proceeded to donate it to our muffin-maker.

Sign from above, eh? Did
someone up there also want to share the fun?

And the choc chip muffins? :P


TGFI said...

You can tell I'm totally nikamma right now.
HAHAHAH proctologist joke was funny

i could use some CCM myself yaar....idhar bhejo, cash prize na sahi, i'll take that

Negative Creep said...


And use MSN, it's faster :P

Anonymous said...

6:42 am????

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

same anonymous as b4..

Anonymous said...

damn...another anonymous....too much competition...dhut teri ki

Anonymous said...

you dont get the bronze u fool. ive already claimed it!

Anonymous said...

//same anonymous as b4

what a loser. Get an ID!

Anonymous said...

bahar nikal anon...teri to....pata nahi kahan se yeh anon log aa jaate hain..

Anonymous said...

this is the 'dhut teri ki' anonymous here.
Sayeshaz has got to offer copper, zinc and platinum too. Theres too much competition out here

Anonymous said...

is this the anony-war??

Anonymous said...

//pata nahi kahan se yeh anon log aa jaate hain..
and thats supposed to be funny??
hat ja kameeni

Anonymous said...

//and thats supposed to be funny??
hat ja kameeni

How do u know its kameeni and not kameena??

- the original anonymous

Anonymous said...

yeh bronze mujhe dede thakurrr....badle main tu basanti rakh le...:D

ok I am more useless comments...had too many glasses of orange juice I guess....:P


Anonymous said...

and that was a lame attempt at getting me to be the 'duplicate' anonymous?
Stop impersonating urself. I'm the original anonymous!

Anonymous said...

And when I thot I was out....they pull me back in....
Dear brother anonymous,
We need to decide once and for all who is the real anon and who gets the bronze...and after giving it a lot of thot I hv come up with this innovative method for deciding....
Ok now call heads or tails...

Anonymous said...

I can't assume 'kameeni' but its ok to assume 'brother'??
I don't play games with MCPs!

Anonymous said...

Yes. I agree I'm an MCP.
I call heads. And heads it is. So i get the bronze
- toa

Anonymous said...

abhe! yeh kya ho gaya!
Ppl.. a third anonymous seems to have joined in! And now is impersonating me??
Baap re. I'm quitting

Anonymous said...

Now anon...u crossed the cud u steal my anonymous identity?? arent thr honor among theives anymore..:((


Anonymous said...

OMG!! that wasn't me!!!

I called Sayesha to settle this.
She has agreed to let me have the bronze if in return she gets to keep basanti.
So there you go. The bronze is mine now

Anonymous said...

teri our koi kaam nahii hai kya?

Anonymous said...

How can Sayesha have Basanti??...usko to maine kidnap kar liya if u want Basanti back, return my bronze....muhahahaha...

-toa (the one who coined it)

bananapen said...

Hahaha so you really did blog about it!

Anonymous said...

hey banana..
you can have the bronze if u want to. but stop trespassing
this area has been cordoned off
-toa (the one who coined it)

Thanu said...

at work someone goes and gets beer every friday and friday 5.00 pm is beer time. So no one minds staying late on friday evenings.

Sumedh said...

aaah well.
Now that I have bought my domain name and webspace, I don't think I'll be changing the url "again", again.
So do add "/blog" in my link.

Sayesha said...

#Nikamma TGFI,
Share CCM with you? Kabhiiii nahin...
Paan ka swad, gazab ki mithaas! :D

Can't use MSN at work :)

#Anon 1,
I wake up at 6 am every day. But did not write the whole post this morning, it was saved as a draft, just needed to post it cos my blog was finally working fine! YEAYEAY! :D

#Anon 2, errr.. wait, Anon 3? Oh no, it's Anon 1 I think...

Okay, I'm confused and I refuse to reply till you guys use IDs or nicknames! :D

Yeah, I'm a woman of my words! ;)

Reallyyy?? Whoa, nothing like that in my office! :)

Offo tu kabhi nahin sudhrega na? Theek theek hai when I get home, I'll change it :P

jade said...

:) this made me smile.

Sayesha said...