Thursday, June 09, 2011

Air apparent

As a new parent, one of the first things you learn in Baby101 is the importance of burping the baby. Yes, that bodily function which when performed by a grown-up in public earns dirty looks, is a vital part of feeding a baby. Tiny bubbles of air in your little one's stomach can cause much discomfort for the baby and heartbreak for you to watch her suffer. It is for this reason that you must learn as quickly as you can, the art of burping a baby. It is a real art form, and technique is king. Pat the baby's back too gently and all you'll get is a dirty look from your little one ("You can't burp a baby??? Epic fail!"), but pound too hard and you'll have a merlion situation at your hands.

So today Xena was in one of those cranky modes where the skies erupt and the earth trembles and I pull my hair out. I was very distressed. I had bathed her, fed her, changed her diaper, held her, and done everything I could think of. But she just kept crying. And that's when I wondered if she needed a second round of burping. Now my technique of burping her is a little different, especially when it's burp round 2. I hold her upright in my arms and walk around the house in a sort of fierce dance mode -- something that looks like a cross between tap dancing and bhangra, and something that amuses my mom-in-law to no end. Viv, however, thinks it looks like Haka. Yes, the traditional war dance from New Zealand. Sheesh.

So I did the tap/bhangra/haka for a few minutes and suddenly out came this industrial-grade burp BURRRRPP!!!

There was complete silence for a few seconds. And then the sun shone and the breeze blew and the birds chirped and everything was all right with the world. Xena looked at me and blinked her eyes innocently, as if she had nothing to do with what had just happened.

The first words that came out of my mouth were, "Kyun re shyani, nikal gayi teri saari hawa?"

Whooops. Occupational hazard. Too early to teach her the stuff?

I know I know. I have got to stop behaving like a Bhai and start behaving like a mother!



18 comments:

ferret said...

LOL at the merlion situation :D

also figured out that i don't have an imagination vivid enough to picture a cross between tap dancing and bhangra :P

Nandini said...

HAHAHA "merlion situation"!

(also, SILVER!)

Kay said...

Bronze.....just saying that so that I dont miss a place...n now to read the post!!!

Yamini said...

LOL... hahaha... Bhai-cum-mother... i am sure you can beautifully multitask.. don't think about stopping bhai giri!! :D

ಅಶ್ವಿನಿ/Ashwini said...

Ha ha ha! Xena is a beauty!

prathi said...

can i cheat a bit and claim gold??
yeah, i too remember my "burping my baby" days. I never understood how not to underdo or overdo it...

Prats said...

ROFL!!! I have witnessed the burping issues with my Nephew too... Its a world upside down if the Burping doesn't happen :-D

aydiv said...

"There was complete silence for a few secobds. And then the sun shone and the breeze blew and the birds chirped and everything was all right with the world. Xena looked at me and blinked her eyes innocently, as if she had nothing to do with what had just happened."

Awwww ...lovely :)... Take care :)

nidhi said...

I knew burping is important but didn't know it is THIS important. Am impressed you actually have plan B for this :)
keep the posts coming (of course per your convenience). Good to know Xena is keeping well.

Angelsera said...

Merlion situation! haha good one :)

Raam Pyari said...

lols!

I have decided i will call Xena 'chutki'

S said...

LOL! I remember the heartache I had trying to burp my daughter...it always ended in a merlion situation. My son on the other hand, burps right in the middle of nursing and continues feeding!! Once he is done and I just hold him upright he lets out the industrial strength burp!

BZ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Arun said...

Supposedly somewhere on the web: a monograph on "The Efficacy of Maternal Dance Styles in the Eructation of Infants". It will certainly need updating.

:)

I have got to stop behaving like a Bhai and start behaving like a mother!

Mom-bhai?

SK said...

Hi Sayesha,

Just caught up with your baby posts.
Kudos to you and Viv and Baby Xena to have come out of the ordeal with courage and strength. Amazing!

I couldnt have guessed for a minute from your posts that you were going through all that... really amazing strength.

There are a lot of coincidences between my pregnancy and yours, with respect to dates, but there ends the simiarities.

Oh ya, burping is indeed very important as is pooping ;--)

Porkodi (பொற்கொடி) said...

Mombhai!! :D

Porkodi (பொற்கொடி) said...

omg. omg. omg!!!! I'm just seeing Arun's comment!! :O So Mombhai it is!!! :D

Geomon said...

wait till she starts pooping. it's a real 'truck of stones unloading' sound. heard it, seen it, smelt the thing at close quarters. :P